Born This Way
by rizzlescalzonafic
Summary: Her dream was lost to the darkness until she found love bathed in light. Quinn is going blind and desperately wants to keep her secret from her peers. Set in an alternate universe Sophomore year. Will the Glee club rally behind her? Quick pairing. Fabrevians (as cousins only).
1. Chapter 1

Her dream was lost to the darkness until she found love bathed in light. Quinn is going blind and desperately wants to keep her secret from her peers. Set in an alternate universe Sophomore year. Will the Glee club rally behind her? Quick pairing. Fabrevians (as cousins only).

Disclaimer: Glee does not belong to me. It belongs to entity that is Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

AN: Season one happened just like we saw but instead of sophomore's and freshman the whole glee club was freshman.

Part One

People thought that Quinn Fabray was a stuck up self-absorbed bitch. The spoiled rich girl who never worked for a thing in her life. The devout Christian who was dumb enough to get knocked up by a the Jewish punk footballer. They didn't know the real reason why she voluntarily ripped out her own heart, wrapped it in a pink baby blanket along with Beth, and sent both away forever. No one knew the real Quinn Fabray because she didn't let them.

Summer had been hell living under her mother's roof again. Awkward didn't even begin to cover it. In the end, Quinn spent most of her time upstairs in her room trying to block out life. Life was a giant sucker punch and Quinn Fabray seemed to be the punching bag.

Sophomore year was starting out to be another one of a series of punches. She'd been meaning to get there early so she could find her locker and classes before the halls became uncomfortably crowded. That went out the window when her mom came stumbling home around four am so inebriated Quinn thought she would have to call an ambulance.

That was how she found herself being jostled around the halls of McKinley, on sensory overload, desperately trying to figure out where Room 128 was. The familiar tightening of her chest warned her about the panic attack that was forming. Cheap cologne blended with even cheaper perfume and the stale air of sweaty bodies. It stung Quinn's eyes and burned her nostrils. The squeaks of shoes on the newly polished linoleum blended with the sounds of teenagers laughing and yelling. It was disorienting, so very disorienting. Quinn briefly closed her eyes, trying to orientate herself in the swell of bodies pressing against her from all sides.

That was a mistake as her shoulder was slammed into from the front and her body jerked with the force. She stumbled backwards, her back connecting with the lockers behind her with a very loud thud. The dial dug painfully into her hip. She would probably limp the rest of the day from it. Her eyes jerked open but she didn't see who it was that connected with her shoulder. The sound of laughter all around her made Quinn blush deeply. With a huge sigh she clutched her class schedule tighter. The last thing she needed to do was loose it in the sea of bodies.

"Out of the way Gleek!" Someone growled next to her ear, physically shoving her away from the lockers and into the crowd. She tripped nearly going down but found her footing. Instead of fighting it, she just let the crowd sweep her up. Who cares if she is late? She just wanted to survive the mob that was McKinley High on the first day of school.

By some grace of a God she wasn't sure she believed in anymore, she found herself shoved into a deserted hallway. Where the heck was she?

"Quinn?"

Quinn jumped. Right there in the middle of some unknown hallway at McKinley High, Quinn literally jumped out of her skin. She brought a hand up to her chest as she doubled over gasping.

"Are you okay?" She felt Rachel's hand on her shoulder.

"Fine!" She ground out, covering her embarrassment.

"Okay." Rachel hesitated for a second before stepping around in front of Quinn who was looking decidingly pail and shaky.

"Are you lost?" Manhands was in some hideous looking argyle skirt set again, Quinn thought.

"No." Quinn lied and glanced around finally recognizing the hallway.

"Oh. Okay. Well I'll see you in Glee or maybe a class or two." Rachel called, practically skipping out of the hallway. Quinn hadn't completely torn her down in the hallway, which was a vast improvement over last year. It was also deeply concerning.

Rachel glanced back at Quinn not being able to completely get the sick feeling that something wasn't right out of her system. Quinn was standing in the same place, her back turned to Rachel. With one last glance, Rachel turned the corner to find her homeroom.

Quinn fingered the map she made, bringing it up to look at it. Somehow she had made it to the right hallway. She caught sight of the classroom and looked through the door. She couldn't bite back the groan that came from deep inside her. God, sophomore year was going to be like freshman year... pure torture.

... Glee ...

"There's some mistake." Quinn held the class schedule out to Miss Pillsbury. "I distinctly remember sitting in this very room last year and signing up for AP Chemistry as my homeroom." Quinn's voice had an edge to it.

"Quinn. There's no mistake." Emma reluctantly took the schedule from Quinn. She'd just scrub her hands for an extra hour after Quinn left. Yep, she could do that. "Room 128. Mr. Kennedy's Life Skill's. That's the right class."

Quinn was fuming. How dare they? "Look, just because I was stupid enough to get pregnant last year doesn't mean I need this dumb life skills class!"

"Quinn, you know that's not the reason you are enrolled in life skills. The administration sent out letters explaining the change."

"Whatever." Quinn jumped to her feet. Ms. Pillsbury's office was closing in on her, the now familiar tightness in her chest starting to creep in. She grabbed her schedule back. "Can I go now?"

"Yes." Emma nodded. Watching Quinn walk towards her door. Emma realized Quinn would make an exceptional actress one day.

Quinn turned back, her hand resting on the door. "Does Mr. Shue and Coach know?"

Emma shook her head. After a moment she cleared her throat. "You are taking French so only the teacher's of your specific classes know. As far as extra-curricular activities, that's up to you to inform them of any special requi..."

Quinn nodded, turned back and left the office as if the hounds of hell were nipping at her heals.

... Glee ...

Quinn begrudgingly found her way back to Room 128. Classes were in full swing and she didn't want to enter that room. Everyone would be watching her. She wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there forever.

She was hovering outside the class room. She knew who exactly Mr. Kennedy was and what exactly Life Skills class entailed but she didn't need it. She received the paperwork from the school last summer, well technically her mother had but was too drunk to tell, and in a fit of rage she'd ripped it into millions of little pieces and burned it in the fireplace.

She didn't care what they said. She didn't need Life Skills class. She'd maintained a 4.0 GPA through the whole teen pregnancy and being homeless last year and she wouldn't ruin her GPA just because some idiot on a school board somewhere thought she needed this class.

Artie looked up as the door opened and spotted the familiar form of one Quinn Fabray, former HBIC herself. Artie had been fuming when he'd received the news that he would be in Mr. Kennedy's Life Skills class. This school was horrible about discriminating against individuals with disabilities. Life Skills was supposed to foster self-esteem and resiliency but really it was just humiliating. He'd never acted on his Individualized Education Plan and he wasn't about to start but now he had no choice to sit here and be reminded how different he was. If this class was supposed to foster self-esteem, didn't.

What he didn't know was what Quinn Fabray was doing standing in the doorway.

Becky spoke up from the far side of the room. "What's she doing here?"

The frown on Quinn's face deepened. "There's been a mistake in my schedule but evidently pushing a baby out of my vagina at 15 is enough to make me mental so here I am." Quinn snapped. Artie raised his eyebrows, not believing she just said that.

Quinn cleared her throat, blushing deeply. "God, I can't believe I said that." She walked slowly up to the front. "There's been a mistake in my schedule but Ms. Pillsbury won't change it." She held the paper out towards the teacher.

Mr. Kennedy glanced at the schedule for a minute. "Lucy Fabray. Nope, this is the right class. Please take a seat." He motioned towards the seat directly behind her.

She ripped the schedule out of his hands. "It's Quinn and whatever."

Quinn's shoulder's slumped and she stalked past the seat at the front of the room, scowling deeply at Artie and threw herself into the seat right by the door.

Yes. Sophomore year was going to kill her... As if she wasn't freak enough already.

TBC

Please review. Reviews create creative juices. Creative juices mean chapters happen faster.


	2. Chapter 2

Her dream was lost to the darkness until she found love bathed in light. Quinn is going blind and desperately wants to keep her secret from her peers. Set in an alternate universe Sophomore year. Will the Glee club rally behind her? Quick pairing. Fabrevians (as cousins only).

Disclaimer: glee does not belong to me. It belongs to entity that is Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

AN: Season one happened just like we saw but instead of sophomore's and freshman the whole glee club was freshman.

**Chapter 2**

Quinn flopped into the seat directly behind Artie. That way she could see if he turned to look at her and head off any potentially embarrassing questions. The way this year was going already, any conversation was going to be embarrassing.

"As you know last year, bullying in this school reached a whole new level. Over the summer, Jonathan Matthews, committed suicide." Mr. Kennedy looked over at his students.

Quinn racked her brain tying to figure out who Jonathan Matthews was. She came up blank.

"This class is to teach you the necessary skills to combat any bullying this school has to offer and..." Quinn frowned deeper. If he was looking at her, she was going to self-combust. "And learn how to ask for help when we need it. I know that for some of you this is particularly hard to do. You've become adept... Self-reliant. Learning to ask for help isn't the end of the world. I know that can be a particularly complex thought for teenagers."

Quinn kept her focus on her desk and just wanted to crawl under it and disappear. Mr. Kennedy wrote something on the chalkboard and she didn't bother to look up. It wouldn't matter anyway. She was getting her schedule changed.

"Miss Fabray. You might want to move to the front here."

Artie started to turn to look at her. Quinn straightened in her seat.

"Nah. I'm good back here."

"Really?" He sounded incredulous. She bristled. "Because your IEP states that..."

"Yeah well my IEP is wrong." Goodness she sounded like a little kid throwing a tantrum.

"Really, then I'd like you to read off the teams on the board."

Quinn stood up and began to move to the front. The nerve of this joker of a teacher.

"You know what... Screw this." Quinn made an abrupt right turn and shouldered the door open, spilling herself back into the empty hallway.

... Glee ...

Quinn glanced around the hallway one last time, the bell was going to ring any second. She kicked the locker below hers with frustration and yanked on the handle again. It didn't budge. With a frustrated sigh, she leaned her head against the cold metal, turning the dial for the millionth time. Mr. Kennedy's words filled her head with white noise, making her frustration grow.

The bell rang. Quinn yanked on it again. It still didn't budge. She turned around and leaned her back against the locker, pretending to be uninterested in the teens roaming the halls.

Artie rolled up beside her, making quick work of his combo. "Quinn." He ignored how she slightly jumped.

"So, we are partners and I wrote down our first assignment." He held out the papers to her but she made no move to take it.

"I don't want it Artie."

"Oh-Kay." He narrowed his eyes at her. She seemed fine, super bitchy even for Quinn but fine. "Why are you in that class Quinn?"

She continued to stare at the mass of kids in the hallway.

"I mean. You said it was a schedule mistake but... well, whatever reason, it's not obvious."

"You know Artie, you are being incredibly rude and just mind your own business."

"Well we are partners and it is my business because of our assignment."

"Mind your own business Art-eee!"

Quinn screamed as rough hands jerked her away from the locker and slammed her into the lockers across the hallway. Quinn shoved them away and righted herself. No one shoved Quinn Fabray... ever.

"You did this to me. You told Coach Sylvester about my summer surgery." Santana spit out in her face. Quinn moved closer invading Sanata's space.

"She got a boob job!" Someone down the hallway cackled causing the hallway to roar into laughter.

"Yep. Sure did!" Santana's hand caused her head to richochet to the side as it connected with her face. Her eyes burred as tears involuntarily formed.

Quinn stumbled sideways fighting to regain her balance. She righted herself again and turned back towards Santana. What the heck was Santana talking about? She hadn't talked to anyone all summer. Least of all Coach S, who Quinn was avoiding like the plague. "You can't hit me." She growled, straightening up.

"Yep just did." Santana stepped back into Quinn's face. "Sure I can! Unless you got yourself knocked up again. Slut!"

Quinn saw red! Suddenly, she was grabbing Santana and shoving her backwards until the metallic clang of a body hitting lockers rang out. The hallway as a collective whole gasped.

Santana turned, shoving Quinn into the locker knocking the air out of her. Quinn reached out catching Santana's pony tail and yanking to get space between her and Santana.

Santana shoved hard and Quinn felt herself flying backwards. She hit the ground with a disorienting thud. She barely caught sight of Santana rushing towards her. Quinn stiffened, trying to get to her feet gracefully.

"Hey. Hey! What is this!" Mr. Shuester yelled angrily keeping one hand on her and one hand on Santana separating the two. "What happened to this being a family!"

Quinn started pushing past Mr. Shu. She knew Santana and she knew what was coming next.

Santana threw her hands up. "Oh please, She has a family! She's a mother." Santana spat, the sarcasm and venom clear as day.

Mr. Shu grabbed Quinn in a bear hug before she could get more than a step towards Santana. "Walk away!" She screamed feeling the tears threatening. No one talked about Beth, even indirectly. Santana knew how much it hurt and she just crossed over so many lines. Quinn didn't care if she ripped Santana's face off. Really she just wanted to find a hole, curl up, and die. Mr. Shu held her firmly as the fight left her.

"What was that about?"

Quinn shook off her daze. "I don't know."

"Quinn?" Will let go of her not believing her. He couldn't catch her eyes. She was looking over his shoulder and down towards the floor, her facial expression blank.

"I told you... I. Don't. Know." She backed away from him, bumping into Brittany behind her. Quinn jumped at the contact.

"Brittany?" Will asked.

"San's just mad because Coach gave head cheerleader back to Quinn. Hey you aren't in your uniform."

Quinn fingered her light blue blouse and jeans nervously.

"I don't know what you mean. I'm not even rejoining Cheerios." Quinn turned back around. The hallway was closing in on her. The feeling in her chest tightening painfully. She pushed past them, bumping into Mr. Shuester's shoulder as she moved past fighting the urge to run. She kept going, out of the school, past the parking lot and into the edge of the woods the cross country team used. Sliding down a tree, her hands clutching her head until she couldn't hold it in any longer. Quinn opened her soul and screamed until her voice gave out on her.

... Glee ...

Everyone at Glee was dancing around waiting for Mr. Shu to come in after school on Wednesday afternoon. Everyone but Quinn, Artie noted. She was sitting in the back of the choir room, a book opened in her lap, apparently bored out of her mind because she'd been reading it for the last 5 minutes and hadn't flipped the page yet. Nor had she noticed him watching her.

Santana was shooting daggers Quinn's direction but the blonde didn't seem to notice That either. The two were definitely steering clear of each other after the hallway incident on Monday.

"Alright everybody." Mr. Shuester walked in and moved towards the white board.

New York City. He underlined it for emphasis and turned back towards his club. No one was smiling.

"What's in New York City?" Mercedes asked.

"Nationals! And we are going to New York this year." He stated, trying to get them excited.

"I don't know what planet you came from but here on planet reality... We suck in case you haven't noticed." Santana grumbled, still mad at apparently everything.

"Yeah." Kurt broke in. "We are the laughing stock of the school and we didn't even make it past regionals."

Will ignored them. "Since Matthew transferred we are down to 11 so we need to recruit new members."

"Um, Mr. Shuester no one is signing up."

"I've thought of that. If they're not going to come to us, then we have to go out to them. Show them how cool we can be." He handed out the sheet music to Empire State of Mind. Now the kids were excited. All except Quinn.

Quinn glared at the music. "You're down to 10!" She stormed out tossing the paper over her shoulder.

The room froze, the only sound was the sound of paper fluttering to the ground.  
After a moment Santana spoke up. "Is it just me or did Quinn perfect Manhands storm out?"

"Yeah." Mercedes spoke up. "She's stormed out of class every day this week."

"Really? She's stormed out of third period all week too."

Artie started rolling towards the door. "Just leave Quinn alone guys. We don't know what's going on." He didn't know but he was going to find out.

"Where are you going wheels?"

Artie rolled his eyes at Santana determined to hunt down Quinn.

TBC

Please review! Can anyone hazard a guess what is going on with Quinn?


	3. Chapter 3

High School is a hard time. No one would ever dispute that. Can the Glee Club survive and change their social ranking? It's Sophomore year at McKinley High School and boundaries will be torn down. Unlikely friendships will be formed.

Disclaimer: Glee does not belong to me. It belongs to entity that is Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 3

"Okay." Dr. Ortez patted Quinn on the leg. Quinn wanted to kick him in the shins. He'd been her doctor since her first appointment to the specialist when she was 9 years old. Every time he finished his exam he would pat her leg. When she was younger she didn't mind. Now as an almost 16 year old, that had given birth just months before, she found it degrading.

"There's been a big difference between this appointment and your appointment back in May and much worse than your appointment in December, Quinn." Quinn knew this. She didn't need a doctor to tell her this.

Her mother slipped her hand into Quinn's and squeezed. Quinn fought the urge to rip her hand out of her mother's. But Judy Fabray was trying to be the mother Quinn so desperately needed.

"I think it's time Judy, Quinn, that we talk about the future. How to make sure you have the best quality of life... Able to function as well as you do now."

Quinn sighed not wanting to face this.

... Glee ...

"I'm worried about Quinn Fabray." Will pulled out a chair in the teacher's lounge and sat down opposite Emma. Sue didn't even try to hide the fact she scooted her chair closer to eavesdrop.

Emma glanced up at him. "Oh?"

"She's evidently skipped or left every class early this week. She stormed out of Glee Club yesterday and evidently no one has seen her today."

Emma knew why Quinn was not at school, after all she approved the absence when Quinn showed up on Tuesday. But it wasn't her place to tell and technically she couldn't tell because of confidentiality reasons. But she knew about the storm outs and meltdowns.

"Yes I know. She's been in detention everyday this week." Why had Principle Figgins decided to make the guidance counselor in charge of detention? Thankfully it was only the first week of school and detention was relatively empty. At some point the kids were going to eat her alive.

Will waited for her to continue but she didn't.

"And...?"

Emma put down her grape. "I really want to tell you but I can't. It's not my place."

"Emma!" Will vaguely registered the whining tone in his voice.

"Quinn isn't in any trouble, if that's what you are thinking." Well she wasn't in any trouble yet but if she kept up the diva storm outs and outrightly skipping first period that might change.

Sue just sneered at Will. As if he thought he could get a handle on Quinn Fabray. Secretly, and she would never tell anyone this, she was just as worried about her former head cheerleader as Will was.

... Glee ...

Quinn walked into the empty choir room on Friday morning. She still had an hour before classes started. Her mother had a business meeting in Toledo and had given her an ultimatum - go to school or catch the bus. The bus was just asking for her already ruined repitition to sink even further down the loser trail.

She felt the piano calling out to her as she had wandered the halls. She felt the ache of her fingers longing to dance over the keys and unknowingly drifted to the choir room.

A barely audible sigh escaped her lips. Quinn let her fingers drift across the silky ivory keys. With one hand she pulled. The bench out letting it scrape slightly on the floor. The halls were blissfully quiet this early in the morning and with it came a sense of peace. When no one was around Quinn didn't have to hide the truth. Fingering the middle c, Quinn, settled her hands softly against the keys. Another sigh escaped as she began playing. The familiar notes drifted from the instrument. Quinn felt tears escape her closed eyelids as her fingers danced their way through increasingly complex chords. There in the darkness, with her fingers kissing each ivory key with just the right pressure, Quinn felt like a butterfly taking flight for the first time. Quinn felt whole, a sense of peace and belonging settling over her.

Will was sitting in the back of the choir room when Quinn drifted in. She looked in his direction and just when he was about to ask her what she was doing there, she silently moved over to the piano. He decided to sit there and see what happened. From his brief interactions with Quinn he knew she would approach him in her own time. Any pushing on his part before she was ready would just cause her to pull farther away. Quinn was smart. Actually she was deceptively smart. He was pretty sure that none of her peers knew she was the very top of her class. To Will that was incredibly remarkable that she accomplished that after the turmoil of last year. He desperately wanted to reach out to her for her own sake. It was obvious that she was sinking fast. He didn't know what, after how she held her head high during the pregnancy the previous year, would cause her to sink.

He watched as Quinn sighed. So much heartache could be felt in that moment. She reached out caressing the keys as only an accomplished pianist would. Love and respect for the ivory keys beneath fingers could be felt from all the way across the choir room. Quinn closed her eyes and started moving her fingers.

It was all Will could do to keep the gasp in. Will didn't even know Quinn Fabray could play the piano. The sound coming from the instrument was not the sound a 15, almost 16 year old should be making. It was amazing. Breathtaking. Quinn worked the keys to a crescendo then gently transitioned into a softer segment, her fingers working flawlessly.

Will sat mesmerized. Quinn was doing this with her eyes closed, no sheet music around. She was playing Chopin's Waltz no. 9 flawlessly transitioning into Moonlight Sonata. He may be a little biased but Quinn was worthy of a Carnegie Hall. Tears started flowing from Quinn's eyes leaving wet tracks down her flawless face. Briefly he thought about going over to her but he was too mesmerized to move.

Slowly she drifted to a stop. Will saw Emma in the doorway but she brought a fingure to her lips in the stay silent motion.

Quinn frowned, looked over in their direction, squinted for a second, then turned her attention back to the piano. He watched as she pulled out an iPod and a portable speaker, fiddled with it for a second and then plugged it in. The opening notes of Fur Elise drifted through the speaker. Quinn listened for a minute, her eyes still closed, her face lifted towards the ceiling. After a moment she stopped the iPod and began plucking out the notes on the piano. Will kept from wincing when she hit a wrong note by being awed by the fact that she really didn't hit that many wrong notes. This went on for awhile. Each time she replayed the song she hit more correct notes and less wrong.

Will Schuester sat there in complete awe, with his mouth hanging open, as Quinn taught herself classical piano by ear. First bell wrong and Quinn jumped, the piano making an aweful sound as multiple keys were pressed at once. Before he could shake himself from his daze Quinn was disappearing through the doors.

... Glee ...

Emma finished disinfecting the teacher's desk and chair right as the bell releasing final period sounded on Friday. Over the week she'd perfected the timing. Two minutes later Quinn walked in, scowled at her and flopped into a desk at the back of the room.

All week it was just her and Quinn. The rest of the student body seemed to either be not going down the normal path of juvenile delinquents or they simply hadn't been caught yet.

Emma sighed. She knew why Quinn sat in the seat she did. Anyone passing down the halls wouldn't be able to see her unless they actually came fully into the room.

Emma was pretty sure Quinn had no idea Will was in the choir room this morning. If she did, surely she wouldn't have put on the concert she did for him. From the look on Will's face, he obviously had never heard Quinn play before. Emma didn't know a lot about music but what she heard this morning was absolutely breathtaking.

Quinn was idly drumming her fingers on the desk, her head turned toward the large windows letting in the sharp August sunlight. Emma often thought about what the girl was thinking when she zoned out on the world.

Emma glanced at the detention roster. Just Quinn again. She stood up, pulled out a disposable glove, and shut the door to the classroom. Quinn glanced away from the window at the sound.

"You know the deal by now Quinn. You can do homework or we can talk." We can talk was code for have a counciling session. Which Quinn absolutely didn't want to do so she remained silent. For a moment the sound of her fingers drumming the desk, and breathing was the only noise. She easily picked up the squeak of the chair in front of her as Ms. Pillsbury sat down, followed by a sigh when Quinn didn't initiate any conversation.

"Did you know Will, Mr. Schuester I mean, was in the choir room this morning?" Quinn could practically hear the blush as Ms. Pillsbury slipped up.

Quinn picked at the spot on her thumbnail, which was becoming a nervous habit. She suspected, but she hadn't really paid any attention this morning. The call of the piano was too much and she'd blocked everything out.

"Quinn.." There was that tone again. God Quinn hated sympathy.

"Please don't." The normal bite was gone. Quinn felt so worn down from hiding.

"I've received the updated requirements from your doctor. We will be working with vocational rehab to revise your Individualized Education Plan." Emma said gently. Quinn's frown deepened.

"God I hate that word. I'm not stupid."

"You are definitely not stupid Quinn. Everyone knows that."

"I hate pity." Quinn slumped farther into her seat.

"I know what it's like Quinn. Maybe not in the exact way as you but I get it. You want to hide your... differences so people won't judge you."

Quinn stayed silent. She didn't really know what to say.

"You have a 4.0 GPA Quinn. If you let us help you through this time, I have no doubt you can maintain that. Granted you need to stay in class and not skip classes."

Quinn did look slightly embarrassed.

"I can't begin to imagine how scary this is for you. And despite what you think..." Emma took a shuddering breath and reached out to stop Quinn's fidgeting hands. The little kid inside her was screaming about the number of germs being spread between them. "... you are not alone. Your friends in Glee will be there for you. Didn't they prove that last year?"

Quinn nodded but she was a Fabray. Fabray's ignored the truth and refused to ask for help. After all, that's what her family had been doing with her for the last 10 years. If her dad was around he would still be ignoring the truth. As it was her mother was doing her best to ignore it. Unfortunately they were reaching a crescendo, much like the music she played this morning. Soon, especially after yesterday's appointment, it wouldn't be able to be ignored much longer.

AN: Props to whoever guesses the secret. I've been dropping a few hints in all the chapters. Very slight hints as Quinn is a master at deception. All will be explain in the next one or two chapters. I am letting the story unfold and trying to not rush it. Please review. I love reviews.


	4. Chapter 4

Mary Evans finished tapping the last of the packing boxes, marked it Stevie, and shoved the tape into a plastic grocery bag. She watched through the windows as her oldest sunk to the ground with her youngest firmly attached to his back. Stevie took a flying leap into the pile-up of Evans' children.

The kids were taking the news surprisingly well. But then none of her children had really been happy since her sister's family left Bellville two years before. Now two years later the cousins were about to be reunited again. Mary wasn't exactly thrilled to be moving her family into her sister, Judy Fabray's, house but she didn't have a lot of choice. The Evan's family was going through a financially rough time and when Dwight's job transferred him to the Lima office and offered him a pay raise it became obvious that it was time to move the family.

When Judy offered to house the family in 'the Fabray Mansion' as her niece Quinn called it, Mary had been shocked. Financially it made sense, it would give the Evans family a chance to recover. Mary also knew Judy needed help with Quinn even if she was too proud to ask. Shock didn't even begin to describe how her family felt when they heard that Quinn got pregnant last year. It didn't really surprise them when the controlling gringe Judy married kicked his 15 year old daughter out of the house.

What surprised the Evans' family was that Quinn ignored all their attempts to provide her a place to live while she was homeless. Eventually Judy admitted that Russell threatened her constantly about reaching out to help their daughter and that included extending the olive tree Mary and Dwight Evans held out for their niece.

Now, they were about to pile into the family mini-van and head the two hours between Bellville and Lima. She should have been concerned about Quinn's bad attitude rubbing off on her younger children but she wasn't. She remembered the Quinn Fabray that hung out at their house constantly; the shy girl who was always reading and constantly shocked all the adults in her life with her knowledge. The girl was a walking encyclopedia. But she also lived under a moden day tyrant who was in denial about his daughter and constantly trying to mold Quinn into something she wasn't. No, Mary Evans was not concerned about Quinn corrupting her younger children. Love, wasn't something that Quinn was shone in her own home but received unconditionally in the Evans' home.

Now that. The two households were merging, Mary had faith that she could get her older sister sobered up and show Quinn the love she needed again.

... Glee ...

Quinn lay on the grass in front of the fire department. She fingers casually ran across the grass. The blades of grass tickling her fingertips. It was amazing how grass felt when it was nice and nourished as it was in early fall. The rain on Wednesday afternoon helping to keep the blades soft. Whereas in the heat of summer the blades stung and crinkled. Most people would never think of such things but Quinn did. She spent countless hours memorizing the feel of everything under fingertips. She could tell Brittany's cat Lord Tubbington, from her neighbors cat, Mr. Blubbers just by the texture of their coats. Slowly she brought her hand in front of her eyes, first covering her left and then her right, before bringing her hand back down to the grass.

Santana glanced over at her friend with concern. After their fight on Monday, she thought things might be weird between them but when she approached Quinn at her locker on Tuesday struggling with the combo. Santana had simply grabbed the paper out of her friends hand, turned the combo a few times and popped the lock open. She didn't make a big deal out of it and Quinn had simply shrugged when Santana had grumbled her apology. Well it wasn't really an apology per se but it was as close to one as Santana Lopez was ever going to give. Quinn had simply shrugged her shoulders, gave Santana a grin and asked if she was going to the fall festival that weekend. Santana laughed in return saying she wouldn't miss Brittany's excitement over having candy thrown out of moving vehicles.

That's how she found herself alternatively looking between Quinn starring into the sun and Brittany laughing her head off as she chased down tootsie rolls and bugle gum. Quinn was being eerily quiet again just laying there looking into the sky. She seemed content enough today. She'd happily let Brittany link arms with her and drag her down Main Street until Brittany found 'the perfect spot' to watch the parade.

"So this cousin of yours... is he hot?"

Quinn arched an eyebrow. "Sam?" That was kinda like asking if she thought her older sister was hot. Up until she moved away everyone thought she and Sam were twins. "I guess... I mean that's just gross Santana."

"Come on! Spill."

"You'll meet him on Monday Santana." Quinn was getting really bored again. She should probably go home and help her mom prep the house. As if the Fabray Mansion was anything but spotless. She wondered if her mother knew what she was getting into inviting her cousins to come live with them. Kids were messy. Well, kids who didn't live under Russell Fabray's iron fist were messy.

Quinn barely heard the "look out" that was yelled from her left before the air was forcefully knocked from her lungs.

"Geez Quinn!" Santana growled next to her. "What is it?"

Quinn actually giggled untangling herself from Stevie and Stacy's squirming bodies. She sat up and pulled Stacy into her lap. She felt a hand on her shoulder announcing Sam's present.

"Sorry cuz'. They saw you down the street and took off."

Santana snickered to her right at Sam's nickname for her. Quinn rested her head on Stacy's.

"Santana. Meet the dynamic duo of Stacy and Stevie Evans. Hang out with these two much and they will wear you out. I swear they drink hyper juice for breakfast. And this is Sam. He's a sophomore as well." Quinn turned towards Sam. "I thought you weren't arriving for a couple more hours."

Sam plopped down next to her, tucking his legs under him. Her friend was starring at him and another girl their age was running around giggling as if she was Stacy's age.

"We left earlier than we were planning on. Dad practically begged me to take these two out of the house. You weren't kidding when you called it a mansion."

Santana leaned in, invading his space. "Your mouth is so big and that hair can't be natural, Blondie 2.0"

Quinn just about dropped Stacy off her lap. All four of them sat there with the same blond locks. Santana had never met Frannie otherwise she would finally believe her that she didn't dye her hair blonde. It ran in the family.

"Um." She could tell Sam didn't know what to make of Santana. That was okay. Most people didn't know what to make of the Latino.

"Can we get a corn dog Quinn?" Stevie broke in saving Sam from needing to respond.

"Sure." Quinn stood up, linking her hand with Stacy's smaller one. "You and Britt coming?"

"Nah. I gots to make sure Britt doesn't get ran over." Quinn knew the real reason. It was the beginning of school which meant Coach Sylvester was putting the cheerio's through her extra special back to school crash diet.

... Glee ...

"Quinn, hurry up we are going to be late for mass!"

Quinn groaned loudly, forcing her face back into the pillow. Saturday was fun, hanging out with her cousins, up until her mother announced that they all would be attending mass in the morning. Quinn hadn't been to mass since her father kicked her out of the house and she wasn't looking forward to it either. She was the black sheep of the parish. Everyone would be staring at her.

Fifteen minutes later she stumbled down the stairs. Her foot sent a toy flying and the noise made her jump and loose her balance for a brief moment. The house was like a giant obstacle course with boxes everywhere. Luckily someone had cleared a fairly wide path into from the stairs to the kitchen and she made it in without further incident.

"There you are Quinnie. I thought I was going to come find you."

"Mom!" Quinn groaned, feeling her mom wrap her in a hug. Today was just going to be weird. Judy was trying too hard already.

"Sit down honey." Judy leaned closer. "Third seat." She whispered in Quinn's ear before pecking her on the cheek again.

"So..." Mary started dipping out a portion of scrambled eggs for her youngest. "Family tradition is to go out for lunch after service. Where do you recommend Quinn?" It was the few spoils her children received. Weekly lunch out after church, usually at a discount buffet, but it was something that she and Dwight tried to continue even into the hard times. She kept an eye on her niece. To the unobservant eye, Quinn seemed perfectly fine. Mary knew better. She'd seen her niece change over there years. When your around a person day to day sometimes you don't notice small changes taking place until they are glaringly obvious. But when you've been away from someone for a period of time and are reunited, small changes seem large and large changes seem glaringly obvious; the way Quinn stumbled over a toy left on the floor, the brief way Quinn squinted at an object then reached for it, her bumping into more than one box in the living room, the way Quinn trailed her fingers along the wall, how she looked in a persons direction but never quite completely looking directly at them.

It didn't take her sisters heart breaking phone call on Wednesday to tell her that the moment this family feared for years was finally coming true. All you needed to do was spend a little time around Quinn Fabray and really watch her to understand all was not right with her.

Quinn fought the good fight and beat her doctors odds for years. Mary remembered sitting in the doctors office with her five year old niece and her sister listening to the doctor try to explain to a five year old that she would be blind probably before she was ten was heart breaking. The young girl couldn't understand what it meant. The adults in the room were crushed. When Russell Frabray was told. He went into denial. Serious denial. His youngest daughter was perfect. Period. End of story.

And so Quinn was perfect for her daddy. And she beat the odds when her vision stopped deteriorating shortly before her tenth birthday. She'd beat the odds for the longest time until the odds caught up to her. Quinn was turning sixteen next week and she should be learning how to drive and hanging out with friends.

Instead Mary saw a scared little girl struggling to keep her disability hidden from her friends and Mary felt that this would really backfire badly.

Quinn Fabray was in just as much of denial as her daddy had been years before.

AN: I should explain how this story started out. The first episode of Glee I ever saw was Big Brother. I watched from that point through the end of Season 3. I fell in love with that Quinn, the thoughtful and caring Quinn. I then saw the Thanksgiving episode in season 4 and notice Quinn do a "squinty face" on the stage. I thought it was adorable and went back and re watched parts of season 3. She actually did that quite often. Anyway, ten I went backwards and watched parts of season 2 and finally season 1 and this story just happened to emerge. So blame squinty face moments. I'm sure this is not what you expected but I ask that you give the story time to develop. Obviously, this is very much alternate universe. The characters of Sam and Quinn being cousins just sorta happened by observing that they both have really big mouths when they smile widely. I blame Puck's comment when Sam is introduced to New Directions.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for the reviews. Reviews are always helpful and I take everything into consideration. I'm more than happen to include suggestions into the plot line so please keep them coming.

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. The version of His Eye is on the Sparrow that I'm imagining is Selah. I suggest you listen to it. No copyright infringement intended.

chapter 5

Will followed the sound of laughter and piano down the empty hallway on Monday morning before school started. He paused just outside the doorway knowing Quinn was inside by her unique laughter. He caught her reflection as well as a student he had never seen before through the glass cabinet Sue had installed after last years loss at regional. He hadn't heard that sound in quite awhile and he didn't want to interrupt.

The opening notes of His Eye Is on the Sparrow drifted out the open doorway. Quinn's fingers moved gracefully over the keys. It really was entrancing.

"_Why do I feel discouraged_," Quinn sang quietly. The boy placed his hand on Quinn's shoulder squeezing it.

"_Why do the shadows come_." Her voice rose with emotion when she sang shadows.

"_And why does my heart feel lonely_." Quinn shook her head, a single tear escaping. "And long for heaven and home." Her voice was strong, ringing out clearly in the choir room.

"_When Jesus is my portion_." The boy took a deep breath, his voice harmonizing effortlessly with Quinn's. "_A constant friend is he..."_

Quinn smiled up at Sam. She didn't know how much she really missed Sam's friendship until this weekend. She let her voice blend with his. "_His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me."_

Mass was awkward but she didn't really feel the condemnation she thought she would. The congregation had been much too happy to welcome the new family into the parish than anything else. She didn't really know if she still believed in God. Truthfully, Quinn didn't really believe in anything anymore but she definitely felt love in her home this weekend. If her Aunt Mary said it was God's hand that brought them together than so be it. Maybe with enough time she might come to believe it again.

Quinn took over letting her voice take the lead, "_so I sing because I'm happy_." She smiled at the words that rang true. She only ever really felt happy when she was making music.

Their voices blended together again, "_and I sing because I'm free and his eye is on the sparrow_." They hit the low note of sparrow perfectly. "_And I know he watches me."_

Sam effortlessly took the lead letting his voice become stronger with each word as hers faded to accompany him. _"So I sing because I'm happy_."

"_And I sing because_," Quinn let the building notes from the piano convey all her emotions as her voice rose to harmonize with his, "_I'm free. Yee-ah, his eye is on_," they came down almost to a whisper, "_the sparrow. And I know he watches me._"

She took a deep breath and Sam squeezed her shoulder. Their voices rising with passion. "_And I know he watches. And I know he watches me!_" she put gusto into the piano flourish feeling Sam silently laugh beside her.

Both were breathing heavily as the last note from the piano lingered in the air. "Wow!" Sam breathed.

Quinn smiled, laughter bubbling up inside. "We still got it." She reached up behind her and Sam high fived her.

"Mom is going to flip when she hears that." Quinn's smile slipped from her face. "What?" He asked not used to his cousin's mood swings yet and boy did she have a lot of them.

"Nothing," she mumbled, sliding the piano bench back and lowering the cover, Quinn stood up.

"So..." Sam looked around at the room. "This school has a choir right?"

"It's a show choir but yeah." Quinn started picking at her thumbnail.

"Cool. Aunt Judy mentioned you were in the choir."

"I quit." It was barely a whisper. Sam pushed Quinn back down onto the bench and captured her hand in his.

Will was just about to enter the room and beg the new kid to join Glee and Quinn to come back when their conversation stopped him. Eavesdropping was just plane wrong and if he caught any of the students doing it, they would have heard an earful. But he really needed to know what was going on with Quinn, and as far as he could tell, none of the New Directions knew. They seemed just as clueless as he was.

"Why?" He sounded incredulous. "You love to sing."

"You know why Sam." Quinn was starting to steam but she really couldn't get mad at him.

"No, I don't. Choreography can be adapted, Quinn."

"If I was just doing choreography for competitions that's one thing but we are expected to perform every week! I can't even tell where my feet are Sam!"

Will frowned. What did she mean by that?

"It doesn't matter. I'll help you." Sam sounded just as exasperated as she did. "Quinn you are amazing. And your mom said that this group has a kid in a wheelchair, so if they are that accepting, they will be accepting of you too."

"Sam." Quinn stood up again, grabbing her backpack from the ground. "Just drop it please?"

Sam bumped her hip with his knowing he had pushed far enough for now. Quinn smiled at him and bumped him back.

"What's your first class?"

"Want a wing?" He flapped his arms like a chicken in front of her.

"Samuel Evans you are a dork." Quinn looped her arm through his "wing". It was a running joke between them, him sticking his elbow out like a chicken wing. It became a subtle, way of him asking her if she needed an arm to guide her. She loved Sam for it.

"Well, you Lucy Quinn Fabray, are just as much a dork. First class is Geometry."

Will slipped around the corner and headed to Emma's office.

... Glee ...

"Ugh!" Sam groaned against his palm, shoving the book away from him.

"What?" Quinn sat next to him in study hall absent mindedly taping her fingers against the desk. She could hear Santana whispering with Brittany in the corner of the school cafeteria. Rachel was pining after Finn somewhere to her right, the Diva's voice even in whisper was very loud.

The squeaks and scrapping of chairs on the linoleum was really starting to get to her when Sam let out a groan from his seat across from her. They were sitting in a secluded corner of the cafeteria. She'd positioned herself so her back was facing everyone.

"I can't read this. It makes no sense."

"Here let me see." Quinn held out her hand. After a moment the crisp paper slipped into her hand. "Which question?"

"All of them!" Sam grumbled.

"I'm not doing your homework for you." She arched her eyebrow in his direction.

"Just read it to me. I'm dyslexic." He mumbled.

"Oh." She didn't know that. "Okay." She pulled the paper to a few inches from her face. The words were still blurry. Quinn glanced toward the ceiling in frustration. She was more frustrated that they didn't share any classes. Her handouts were printed in extra-large bold print making it easier. If they shared classes, she could help him out.

"Quinn, I'm sorry." Sam started. He didn't want to make Quinn uncomfortable.

"I don't want to hear that tone." Quinn grabbed her backpack and dug out a portable magnifier. Quinn squinted at the page then gave up, tossing the magnifier into her backpack. "Come on." She grabbed his hand, pulling him towards where Ms. Pillsbury was subbing for the study hall teacher. Technically she could take her study hall in Mr. Kennedy's room but she had never acted on it before.

"Do you need something Quinn?" Emma was surprised to see Quinn standing before her.

"We need to go to Mr. Kennedy's room." The last part was whispered.

Emma smiled. Maybe Mr. Kennedy's lectures on asking for help were starting to pay off.

"Sure... But, I will be checking to make sure you actually went there."

Quinn rolled her eyes at Ms. Pillsbury. Where else was she going to go? She couldn't drive and even though she could probably still walk the two miles to her house but she'd given her mother a panic attack and was threatened with homeschooling if she even tried it. Having her mother homeschool her seemed like a particularly nasty form of torture she didn't want to endure.

"So... about Glee." Sam began. At lunch time he was enjoying the fresh air when a bunch of kids came out in matching New York City t-shirts singing an awesome rendition of Empire State of Mind.

"What about it?" Quinn paused loosing track of how many steps they'd taken.

"I'm auditioning today and I want you to come."

Quinn scowled and turned around heading back towards where they'd just come from looking for the stairwell.

"Why?"

Sam scratched his head as they turned around heading back towards study hall. When they reached the stairs, Quinn turned around and headed in the opposite direction. Sam was starting to get dizzy. He shrugged at a short brunette that was gawking at them from an open locker and continued to follow Quinn.

"I've never sung before an audience before."

"Look," Quinn stopped at a cross section of hallway. "Mr. Shuester has a policy. If you audition then you are automatically in." Quinn turned to move down the hallway to her left.

"That's not the point." Sam stopped her with a hand on her arm. "You need Glee Quinn."

"Did Rachel put you up to this?" The accusation was clear in her voice.

"Who?"

"Rachel, loud obnoxious hobbit. She talks a lot."

Sam chuckled at the description.

"No. Where are we going?"

Quinn was on the move again and he matched his stride with hers. "Mr. Kennedy's. He has this magnifier thing. It's kinda neat." Quinn frowned. "Don't repeat that."

"Okay cuz'. So about Glee...?"

Quinn stopped in front of a mostly deserted classroom. "What do I have to do to get you to stop?"

Sam smiled at her. "Re-join Glee with me."

"Geez you are worse than Rachel. If I break my leg falling off that stage, I know who to blame." Quinn rolled her eyes at him before swallowing her pride and opening the door to Mr. Kennedy's special education classroom.

tbc

Things should start picking up now that I have the New Directions back together.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: My inspiration for this story is my grandmother. I grew up watching her. She was blind in one eye and slowly lost her vision in the other eye. The chicken wing in the previous section, minus the dance, was something I would do and it always brought a smile to her face.

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox and the song, New York State of Mind is property of Billy Joel. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 6**

Will felt like he'd been sucker punched. When he barged into Emma's office after overhearing Quinn in the choir room he didn't expect to see Mrs. Fabray there and the last thing expected to hear was the words '_she's blind_'.

He dropped his head into his hands. "I don't understand." It explained some of her behavior lately but denial overrode his thoughts.

"When Quinn was five she got really sick and was having trouble seeing. We figured she just needed glasses but the ophthalmologist had concerns. To make a long story short. After a year of tests they diagnosed her with an autoimmune disorder. She's been healthy except her eyesight. The doctors expected her to be legally blind by the time she was ten." Mrs. Fabray paused and Will really looked at her. She seemed to have aged quite a bit since he saw her at regionals last year. Will didn't have a whole lot of respect for the woman. Who threw their pregnant teenage daughter out on the street? His respect went down even further with this news.

"She seemed alright last year." He looked between Emma and Mrs. Fabray not really understanding how they missed this.

"It's been far more gradual than anyone expected and she's had time to adjust. Over the summer and her vision has been deteriorating very fast. Quinn is in denial."

"What..." He cleared his throat. "Mrs. Fabray, I'm more than happy to keep Quinn in Glee Club. I just need to know how to keep her safe." He looked over at Emma. "To help her when she won't ask. I take it she doesn't want anyone to know."

... Glee ...

He blamed Jacob Ben Israel and his stupid blog interview in the locker room. As much as he pretended otherwise, Puck wasn't over Quinn.

Puck snuck into the choir room to watch Quinn play the piano. Not many people knew of her talents. He'd caught her one afternoon while she lived with him playing his sister's piano. He wasn't that sentimental but he found her breathtaking.

"Puck?" She startled him.

"Hey Baby Mama." He walked in and sat down on the bench beside her. "Who's the dude you've been hanging with?"

"Sam?" She sounded confused and he wanted to kiss the frown off her face. Most likely she would punch him if he did though. "He's my cousin. Just moved here."

"I missed you over the summer." That wasn't subtle. No girl made him feel like she did. He wanted to wrap her up in bubble wrap and keep her safe forever.

"Puck. I..."

Even though she insisted on putting Beth up for adoption, he still loved her. When it came to Quinn he wasn't a liar. He meant what he said in the hospital corridor. He loved her. Even more after she carried their child for nine months. As much as he wanted to be Beth's dad, Quinn was right, they were too young to be good parents. They could barely take care of themselves let alone a baby. Quinn was selfless in that moment and sure it hurt like nothing he had experienced before but it had to be done.

He touched his finger to her lips, stopping her Protest. "Just listen. I know why you gave Beth up Quinn."

She pulled away from him. Noah sighed. She had that look that was uniquely Quinn Fabray and he moved to cut her off. "Quinn." Puck grabbed her hand.

"You wanted the best for her. I get that now." He tucked her hair behind her ear just like he did so many times at his house. "We have something Quinn and I'm worried about you."

She basically vanished this summer and now as he watched Quinn's increasingly abnormal behavior, he was deeply concerned. Quinn was even more testy than she was while pregnant. She secluded herself away from everyone and storming out of Glee Club was Rachel Berry's thing not Quinn's.

She was also become clumsier than when she was pregnant and that struck Puck as wrong. The Quinn Fabray he knew was not clumsy. She seemed to be made of two left feet lately and jumpier than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

"I love you Quinn." Okay subtle and slow just went out the window.

Quinn jumped up, tripping over the piano bench and backing away from him. "You shouldn't." Her voice wavered as she continued backing towards the door.

Puck slammed his hand onto the piano. How could you love someone so much and yet want to strangle them at the same time?

... Glee ...

Sam walked arm and arm with Quinn toward the auditorium. He was very nervous for this audition despite Quinn's assurance that everything would be fine. It was funny, not in a ha-ha funny sort off way but funny in a kinda ironic sort of way, that Quinn seemed more nervous than he was. He stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Did you practice the song?"

"I did. I'm not totally comfortable with this." Quinn squinted at him trying to read his expression.

"I've been thinking all day about this. It's perfect. You show them you can play the piano and then we convince them to incorporate piano into the routines. It's a win-win situation."

Quinn let out a very unladylike snort. "Yeah, until they toss sheet music at me and I can't see it. That'll be perfect." She was exhausted from trying so hard all the time. And her friends were really weirding her out. Not being able to make out their facial expressions made her angry all the time but it wasn't their fault.

"Hey. Don't put yourself down." He chuckled. "If they toss sheet music at me, I won't be able to read it. So we make quite the pair."

... Glee ...

Quinn's shoes clicked across the stage as she and Sam made their way towards the piano. To the casual observer nothing seemed out of place. Just two friends, or cousins in this case, walking arm and arm.

There wasn't a person in New Directions that wasn't concerned about Quinn. Most might not mention it after the babygate fiasco last year but they all loved Quinn and they were concerned.

"Thank you for coming. Let's hear what you have." Will cut to the chase but couldn't hide his smile. These kids were going to get blown away.

Sam made sure Quinn was comfortable at the baby grand before picking up a mic. "I'm Sam Evans and Quinn told me nationals is in New York City this year and I hope this will get you fired up." He smiled back at Quinn.

Quinn tried not to laugh as his dork emerged, instead she focused on the keys under her fingers. None of her friends, except Puck, knew she played piano. She didn't need to see to know they were gawking at her.

She ignored the gasps from her friends focusing on the complicated introduction to Billy Joel's _New York State of Mind_ with its intricate flourishes. Closing her eyes she tipped her head back toward the ceiling and let the notes fly.

"_Some folks like to get away, take a holiday from the neighborhood_." Sam gave a shy smile, catching Quinn out of the corner of his eye drift farther into the touch of her fingers on the ivory keys.

He turned back to his peers in the seats in front of him digging deep. He had to do this for her. "_Hop a flight to Miami Beach or to Hollywood._"

He walked over to Quinn, making sure to step loudly not to startle her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "_But I'm taking a Greyhound on the Husdon Riverline._"

He turned, pointing fingers to the seats, arched an eyebrow at them and nodded his head yes, "_I'm in a New York state of mind_."

He swayed to the jazz band he could hear in his head. He caught Quinn doing the same. "_I've seen all the movie stars in their fancy cars and their limousines. Been high in the Rockies under the evergreens, I know what I'm needing, and I don't want to waste anymore time. I'm in a New York state of mind_."

He used the short piano interlude to conjure memories of his family over the last year and the struggle to make ends meet. It was easy to inflect his emotions into the next lyric. "_It's not easy living day to day. Out of touch with the rhythm and blues._" Making music with his cousin had been missing for far to long.

They were swaying with him now and smiling widely. Before he realized it Quinn was pounding out the final notes. "_I'm in a New York_..." She finished an intricate section with ease. "_state of mind!_"

No one moved. He looked nervously to Quinn but she had her head bowed, her hair hiding her face. Slowly he moved over towards her.

"I think I'm in looo-ve!" Kurt gushed fanning himself.

"Guppy lips can sing!" Santana cried out.

"Word that! Quinn's got mad skillz." Artie smiled at the duo still on the stage.

Will stood up, holding his hands up before they could embarrass Sam and Quinn more. He walked across the stage to where Sam was standing with his hand resting on Quinn's shoulder again. He crossed in front to watch them both.

The rest of the New Directions scrambled to their feet, rushing the stage, obviously pumped up.

"Congratulations Sam. Welcome to New Directions." Finn clapped Sam on the back.

"Quinn?" She still had her head bowed. The auditorium went silent again. Will hated what he was about to do, but he had to see for himself. The meeting in Emma's office this morning kept haunting him.

"Quinn look at me." He saw the barely perceptible squeeze Sam gave her. Slowly hazel eyes rose from the keys. She took a steadying breath. Quinn was very good. Most people would think she was looking right at him. But he was looking past the obvious at the way her eyes didn't quite locked on his, how they didn't focus completely and the slight squint before she relaxed into a defiant look. Will kept his expression neutral.

"Mr. Shu, you have to let Quinn back in." Mercedes broke the silence.

He turned to the rest of the group, plastered on a fake and welcomed Quinn back to the group.

Inside, though, he was crying.

TBC

What do you all think? Please review. Let me know what you want to see in this story. I have a few sections farther into the story written already.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to fox. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 7

_Angela Fabray stepped outside into the warm September air. The squeak the screen door to their farmhouse made couldn't compete with the giggling and squeals of laughter of her grandchildren._

_The scene before here was very typical but it never failed to bring a smile to Angela's face. Lucy and Samuel ran circles around her son playing some game only five year olds knew. Lucy ran towards her daddy jumping on him. Russell went down with feigned pain, clutching at his chest. She caught the sidelong glance at Judy and slight upturning of lip as Lucy crept towards him, a seriously concerned expression forming her face. Samuel locked hands with his best friend, their cowboy boots crunching against the grass._

_"Daddy?" Quinn's voice broke, one hand tentatively reaching for her father. She looked over at her mother. Why wasn't she coming to her rescue?_

_"Dadd-eeee!" Quinn squealed as Russell jumped from the ground, two strong hands catching them. An all out tickle war ensued._

_Angela took in the sights and sounds. The Fabray's came from meager beginnings. The family, like so many generations of farmers in Ohio, struggled yearly to produce enough crops to live on often forcing the boys in the family to grow up too fast and work the farm instead of enjoying their youth. Angela's heart swelled with pride at the devoted husband and father her son became. Both Lucy and Frannie were his pride and joy, anyone that looked at it could tell. But Lucy held that special place in his heart, a miracle born 8 years after her sister, a miracle the fertility specialist said wouldn't happen, a miracle that Russell and Judy never took for granted._

_Lucy's laughter drifted to an end with a snort, her blonde hair a messy mixture of twigs and pigtails that came loose with the tickle war. Of course the kids were declared victors and Lucy settled into her daddy's lap with Sam at her side as he deftly reworked her pigtails._

_Angela caught Judy and Russell's attention with a nod. It was time._

_Russell easily picked up his little girl with one arm, tucking her securely up against his side. Sam pouted, not wanted to be left out on his cousin's special day. Russell grabbed his nephew, carrying both kids easily to the house. He let go of the boy at the doorway to the living room. Sam ran over to his mother's waiting arms all the while drooling over the pile of wrapped presents on the living room coffee table._

_Angela settled on the piano bench watching Lucy unwrap present after present declaring each one her 'most favoritist in the whole wide world'. When all that was left was a pile of discarded paper, Lucy looked over at her Grandmother with tears in her hazel eyes. She couldn't understand why her Grandparents didn't get her anything._

_Angela smiled softly at her. Lucy always wore her emotions on her sleeve. When she was happy, her face would practically split in two with the Fabray smile, laughter clearly dancing in her eyes. When she was sad or confused, she'd withdraw into her self, those same eyes searching endlessly for answers._

_"Come here darlin'," Angela spoke softly patting the bench beside her. Lucy shuffled her feet, stalling. She reached one tiny hand out to touch the big wooden musical box that was off limits. Just before her fingers connected she pulled back, looking first to her daddy and then her smiling Nana. Russell picked her up settling in her Nana's lap with a smile._

_"Lucy. When your great, great, great Nana and Pappy came from the old country many years ago they brought with them this piano." Angela placed Lucy's hand on the ivory keys, smiling at the little gasp that escaped Lucy's lips._

_"There's been a tradition in the family. When the second born turns five they inherit this piano. It's been my companion for seventy-years and now it is yours. Treat her with respect and she will do amazing things for you." Wide, innocent eyes looked up at her through long lashes. Angela smiled down at grandaughter._

_Lucy reached out again, one finger slowly pressing a key._

She long since exchanged her high heels and wedges for flats and Chuck Taylor's. Her sixteenth birthday was celebrated at home with her mother, aunt, uncle and cousins. Instead of getting keys to her first car, Quinn added three new pairs of Chuck's. She added a black pair with hot pink highlights and laces, a pair of bright blue with white laces and, because Quinn was quirky like that, a limited edition Cat in the Hat shoes. She held up each set, the black and pink one's from her aunt and uncle, the blue one's from the cousin's and her mother purchased the more expensive Dr. Seuss pair.

Or that's what they told her when she asked Sam to describe them later in her room. She felt exilerated as the paper crinkled underneath her fingertips as she deftly worked to open the gift wrapping. Shyly because she didn't really want them to see her struggle, she brought them up to a few inches from her eyes, trying to make out the neon pink from the blue but it was pointless. She plastered on a smile and thank them profusely. The smile turned genuine when Stacy giggled from where she sat leaning against Quinn's shins.

Later, when her Aunt Mary was trying to get Stacy and Stevie detoxed from their birthday cake induced sugar high, her mother knocked tentatively on Quinn's door.

Quinn glanced up from the large-print edition of Catcher in the Rye she'd given upon reading. The only thing she was accomplishing was giving herself a headache.

"Quinn." Judy hesitated at the door to her youngest daughter's room. "May I come in?" She never really felt comfortable entering her daughter's sanctuary.

Quinn nodded, placing her book on the nightstand beside her. The bed dipped when Judy sat down beside her gently letting her knees bumping against Quinn's.

"I know how much books mean to you and I don't want you to be cut off from them." Judy reached out and took Quinn's hand, remembering the giant freak out Quinn had over the summer. She was a brainiac and owned most of the classics. One wall of her room was covered with bookcases, each case overflowing with books, most of them inherited from her Nana Fabray.

Judy came crashing into the room to find Quinn throwing books everywhere, the scream coming from Quinn's mouth was so guttural Judy started sobbing. Judy didn't know what to do. She'd never witness so much pain coming from one person before and she backed out of the room, the door clicking silently behind her.

When Judy finally ventured in the next morning, Quinn was passed out on the bed, all the books shoved into the back of her closet. Neither one spoke of that day and the books hadn't seen the light of day since.

Quinn shrugged leaning back against the headboard. Sure books meant something to her at one time but now they seemed plan pointless.

"It's not the same but I signed you up for an audiobook website. You can purchase as many books as you like. There's no limit honey. Sam said he will help set up that iPad thing so you can listen to them. I tried but you kids are much better with technology."

Quinn didn't want to listen to her books. She wanted to read them, highlight them, write deep thoughts in the margins and become best friends with imaginary worlds.

Judy watched Quinn dissolve in front of her, silent sobs wracking her thin frame. "_Mommy_." That one most sacred word that she rarely heard pushed Judy into action. She pulled Quinn into her lap, cradling her against her breast. Judy messed up many times in her daughter's life. She was deeply sorry for that. She would give anything to go back in time and make better choices. But she couldn't. All she could do was start now and never let Quinn go again.

Quinn breathed out a deep sigh struggling to catch her breath. Reality slowly sunk in. She was wrapped up in her mother's arms being rocked. She relaxed into the embrace. So many times last year while dealing with the pregnancy she wished her mom would wrap her in loving arms and shelter her from the world.

"On Saturday, you and I are Gilmore's Piano Store." Judy spoke softly next to Quinn's ear. "I can't give you a car Quinn. I'd do anything to take this from you but I can't. I want you to pick out any piano you want. Don't worry about cost."

"Why did daddy destroy it?" Her voice sounded pathetically small to her own ears.

"Your father is mean and vindictive, Quinn. I should have divorced him long before I did." As a lawyer she realized long ago that everyone was better off if they divorced, but realizing something and actually acting on it are two very different things and in the world of the Fabray's the women were expected to be obedient. Divorcing Russell, was definitely not being obedient.

The day that Judy worked up the nerve to demand a divorce from Russell happened to be the one day he saw his daughter since kicked her out. Quinn was standing outside Breadstix, one hand resting lightly on her baby bump, laughing at something her friends said. He came home in a rage. So when the words divorce slipped past Judy's scared lips, Russell Fabray jumped off the deep end ranting on and on about Quinn. It ended with him taking a baseball bat to the piano Nana Angela passed down to Quinn on her 5th birthday. Quinn held the piano in a special place in her heart and Russell new exactly how to destroy his daughter.

Judy had never felt scared for her physical safety until that moment. Russell cooled his head in a jail cell that night and woke up to dual restraining orders for both Judy and Quinn. Surprisingly, Russell didn't fight the divorce but it was messy sorting the details. Judy wanted to beg Quinn to come back but the desire to shelter her from the anger and hurtful words of Russell overrode the ache in her heart every day she went to sleep alone. The day the divorce was finalized she saught out Quinn to beg for her forgiveness and ask her to come home.

"I was never as good as Frannie. He hated me because I can't be perfect." The self-loathing in Quinn's voice broke Judy's heart even more. The universe was infinitely unfair to put one teenager through so much.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

A little bit longer chapter this time. Please review and let me know what you think. Also, I'm not familiar with non-Christian music so if you have any songs you think would make good additions please let me know.

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 8**

"I'm going to do it." Puck whispered to Finn looking around to make sure no one overheard. They were standing in the locker room on the Friday morning before their season opener against Coldwater. Their knew coach Beastie put them through a quick practice that morning.

"Uhm, what are you talking about?" Finn looked puzzled. Puck reached into his locker and pulled out his white away jersey.

"I'm going to ask Quinn to wear my jersey." He and Finn's relationship was still tentative after last year. It seemed to get a lot stronger over summer football two-a-days. They weren't quite bro's yet but maybe semi-bro's. Puck scratched at his mohawk. Could you be semi-bro's or did you just jump to being bro's but in a different way? Anyway, Finn and Rachel were together and seemed very happy and Puck knew for a fact that Finn would never get back with Quinn.

"You're crazy dude. Why would you want to get back together with that manipulative bit..." Finn trailed off. He was raised to be a good person. "She's just going to manipulate you and hurt you."

Sure Quinn was manipulative. Puck gave Finn that. But Quinn was manipulative to hide her insecurities and hurt. Puck saw through her. He was immune to her ways.

"I don't care. I love her."

Finn laughed at him. "Dude we are horny teenage boys. We don't know what love is. You just want to get in her pants again."

Puck shoved Finn. "You don't know anything about Quinn so shut up."

Finn simply held up his hands in surrender. "Fine. She's not going to take you back. Just don't come running to me with your tail tucked between your legs when she hurts you." With that he slammed his locker shut and left Puck sitting on the bench in the empty locker room.

Puck wasn't sure how long he sat there clutching the white jersey in his hands. Quinn made him so frustrated. He loved her. He came to that conclusion long ago.

"Ah hem." Puck looked up into the hazel eyes of Sam. The blonde had a look that Puck could only describe as a cross between worry and furry.

"I overheard you and Finn." Sam cut to the chase. "You can't do that."

"You aren't Quinn's keeper." Sam might be her keeper for all Puck knew. Quinn seemed to want to only spend time with her cousin and was pretty much ignoring everyone in the school.

"No... but you've hurt Quinn in the past. Don't even get me started on the baby..."

"Beth." Puck cut in, the name coming out a gentle whisper.

"Beth." Sam acknowledged. "All you will do I'd hurt her and that becomes my problem too."

Puck stood up. He was done with this. They were their own people and could make their own decisions. "I love her and she loves me. She simply not willing to admit it yet."

Sam bit out a frustrated sigh, his hand going through his hair. Quinn was going to kill him, or perhaps never speak to him again.

"Puck wait." He hesitated. He was about to break the cousin code of loyalty but in the end he was only protecting her and if there was a way he could save her heart from being hurt then Quinn's anger and cold shoulder was worth it.

"What?" Puck turned back to Sam.

Sam motioned to the bench. "There's something you need to know."

Puck frowned but the serious look on Sam's face propelled him slowly to sit. Sam looked at Puck, sizing him up. He didn't really know him. They were only a couple of weeks into the school year but from what he'd overheard, Puck was a player. He'd been in the locker room when that weird kid with the 'fro interviewed. From what Sam could tell the dude's reputation and reality were two different things.

"Hurry up dude. I want to catch Quinn before first period." Puck wanted to sound belligerent just to get this impromptu heart to heart over but the look on Sam's face made him pause. He was picking at his thumbnail, something Puck saw Quinn do when she was nervous. It must run in the family he thought.

"Has Quinn told you anything recently?"

Puck was confused at Sam's melancholy tone.

"About?"

Sam sighed deeply. "Why she's been so clumsy lately." Sam prompted. If he didn't have to betray Quinn, he wouldn't.

"Oh." The sound escape quietly. "No. She hasn't." Fear rumbled in the pit of his stomach.

Sam furrows his brow, finding his thumbnail increasingly interesting. The fear in the pit of Puck's stomach becomes a burning inferno. Puck swallows heavily, locking eyes with Sam.

There are tears in his eyes and boys don't cry, especially not in front of other boy's. It's against the bro code of conduct. Puck opens his mouth to ask what but all that comes out is a strangled grunt. He nervously clears his throat.

"If you say you love her then you need to know." Sam is stalling, the words he needs to say stuck in the back of his throat. Because living in their reality is one thing, but actually verbalizing it is completely different. For a brief moment he realizes why it's so hard for Quinn to tell people.

"Look Sam, I'm the puckasorus and I don't get scared but..." Puck draws out the but, silently implying that if Sam ever breathes a word about what he is just about to say there will be serious consequences. "You are scarring me."

"She's legally blind." Sam watches Puck because he has to see the boy's reaction.

Puck blinked once, twice, three times. His mouth is hanging open and he closes it with an audible click. The air left his lungs and his chest felt worse than when he was tackled by some thug head that broke three of his ribs in 8th grade.

Puck wasn't saying anything. He looked frozen and Sam realized he wasn't breathing. "Puck?" He reached over the bench and touched his arm. Puck jumbled back, pulling his arm away and ran his hand through his Mohawk causing the hair to spike.

"What does that mean?" Puck sounded angry but there were tears in his eyes and his chest was heaving forcing air past his closed up throat.

"She's been losing her vision for a long time. Years actually."

"She was fine last year, wasn't she?" Puck remembered all the times she tripped while learning the dance routines. But that was the pregnancy wasn't it? Maybe not. She had disappeared over the summer and he heard more than once about Quinn's lazy self skipping out on driver's training that summer. Quinn's birthday was right at the beginning of the school year. She definitely should have been in driver's training.

Sam was shaking his head no and Puck clenched the jersey on his hands to stop himself from striking out at the lockers behind him.

"I'm not sure what legally blind means?" Was that his voice? It sounded like it came from a stranger, hesitant, unsure and so full of pain.

"I'm not sure how much she can see actually. She's stopped talking about it but I know her doctor's appointment a few weeks ago was very bad." He wasn't trying to eavesdrop on her parents conversation but when he heard Quinn's name he couldn't help it.

"I had to describe a pair of shoes for her yesterday and she has to use this huge screen and magnifier thing in the special education room to read. My parents were talking about her going off to a school for the blind this summer to learn how to function if the rest of her vision goes." The words left a bitter trail in Sam's mouth.

Puck dropped his face into his hands. This felt so wrong. Quinn loved books and painting. The watercolors that she shyly showed him last year were simply breathtaking. When he asked her if she still painted, because he couldn't see any supplies in her room, she simply shrugged, smiled a little sadly and said it was a thing of her past.

"Look." Sam broke him out of his thoughts. So much was written on the blonde's face: an overwhelming desire to protect Quinn from the world and pure love. Puck felt the same way even if he thought he was breaking into fragmented pieces of nothingness.

"Quinn's lost so much already. She really loved Beth but she knew she couldn't take care of her the way Beth needs. I don't care if you give Quinn your jersey or if you confess your love for her." Sam's eyes hardened on Puck, the confidence was gone and all that was left was a scared kid with a mohawk.

"I don't care if you do that." Sam began again, drawing Puck's attention from whoever he went to in his head. "But if you do that," he nodded at the jersey, "if you start a relationship with her then you better be prepared to stick out through all the hard stuff until the very end." Because it was really hard and would only get harder. "So help me... If you hurt her. I will hunt you down." Sam silently got up and left the lockeroom. The door echoed through the space as it clicked shut.

"I do love her." Puck whispered into the empty locker room.

... Glee ...

He'd spent the time between his conversation with Sam and the end of first period alone in the woods at the edge of campus. It was exceptionally sunny for the fall and even though it was dark in the woods fractions of light drifted through the foliage. He wondered if this is what Quinn saw everyday? Slowly he pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes until he was only left with blackness. He sat there in the dark that way until he couldn't take it anymore. Pulling his hands away, the light flooded his vision and he felt his stomach roll violently.

Now he was standing casually leaning next to Quinn's locker watching her walk down the hallway with Artie after first period. Sometime over the summer, her style had changed. He thought she looked gorgeous in her faded jeans, red McKinley Athletics t-shirt and white Chuck Taylor's with red shoe laces. Her blonde hair was held back with a matching red and black headband. The fashionably conscious Quinn of last year was beautiful but he found this Quinn, the laid back Quinn, to be absolutely cute and enduring. She took his breath away.

He could see it now that he was really watching her. She kept one hand on Artie's push bars. Casually she would look up from the ground to both sides of her before focusing back on the ground a small smile on her face. Artie said something to her as she approached her locker and she looked up with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Hey Puck." He wondered if this is what heaven sounded like. His name like the sweetest candy as it crossed her lips. She smiled up at him.

Artie reached over and worked the combo to her locker before moving back to his own. Quinn blushed but didn't say anything hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Can we talk Quinn?" He fingured the jersey nervously. Artie looked at it and locked eyes with Puck. The warning in his eyes spoke volumes in the silence. Evidently Artie knew about Quinn too.

Artie touched Quinn's elbow before pushing himself back from his locker enough to close the door. "Meet you back here next period." It was whispered softly, only for Quinn's ears to hear in the busy hallway. The glare continued until Artie rolled past him.

Quinn didn't look at him, her head stuck in her locker. Puck frowned and moved slightly behind her so he could look in as well. She was fingering her books nervously.

Puck bit his lip not knowing if he should offer to help her or ignore it. "What class do you have next?" That was subtle, right?

She frowned glancing at him. Maybe not subtle enough evidently.

"AP History." Her voice held a warning, trying to figure out his angle.

"Oh, carry your books?" He reached past her grabbing the correct book and binder. For a moment he was proud of himself until she slammed the locker loudly drawing the attending of their peers.

"Give me the books Puck!" She growled and held out one hand to him, the other working the zipper on her backpack open. He obliged then caught her elbow when she turned to move stopping her. She didn't immediately rip her arm away so he took a chance.

"I was wondering if you would wear this today." He dropped the jersey in her hands. She fingured it, instantly recognizing the texture. Her hands found the number and she ran her thumb along its border tracing the texture difference.

"Why?" That question took him back. There was only one reason why a dude asked a girl to wear his jersey. He thought that was obvious.

Glancing around there was more than one person watching them, actually, gawking at them. Here in a crowded hallway was not the place to have this conversation.

"Um, can we go somewhere and talk? There's an empty classroom over there." He pointed past her head and she turned briefly in that direction.

"Sure but hurry. Unlike some people I don't want to spend my whole high school career in detention." Once her IEP was changed to allow her more time between classes she'd blissfully been detention free but Puck didn't need to know that.

Puck hesitated again. Was he supposed to guide her? She didn't know that he knew so guiding her would be weird and ackward and surely would cause a Quinn Fabray emmy winning meltdown.

"Well?" She arched an eyebrow at him and pointed behind her. "Lead the way."

"Right." He started to move past her when she turned and linked her arm into his stopping him briefly. Her eyebrow arched higher. Her arm felt so right looped through his. Puck wasn't going to screw this up.

He walked arm and arm into one of the science rooms, a crudely put together solar system hung from the ceiling. He extracted his arm for hers and looked up at it in order to give her time to settle her hip against a desk.

"That one's Venus." He pointed up at one.

Quinn blinked at him before glancing up. She barely made out the change in crontrast catching the edge of the ring running around it.

"That's Saturn, Puck."

Puck frowned up on it. She was in the gifted program at school so of course she would know that. He leaned towards her, a sly smile forming on his lips.

"Which one are we on?"

There was that eyebrow arching again and he fought to keep the grin from his face. She rolled her eyes and sat fully on the desk, her long legs dangling.

"Earth. Now why don't you come back to it."

Puck couldn't help it, his face split in two with the cheesiest grin. She was trying not to smile, her voice dry as the Sahara, but the corner of her mouth quirked a little.

He moved towards her, settling on the desk next to her.

The smile slipped from her face, "Tell me why I should wear your jersey?"

"I love you."

Quinn felt the anger bubble up. "It's like a stuck record with you Puck. You can't." She stood up prepared to move but his next words stopped her cold.

"I know your bli.. um, visually impaired." It was whispered softly, hesitantly, unsurely as e whole world came unraveled.

She froze, her back to him. He wanted to see her face but was scared. The way her shoulder's hunched, her arms drawn protectively around her, he was sure it wasn't pretty. No, scratch that, Quinn was always pretty. Even when she was sweating and in shear pain, tossing out profanity at him while giving birth, she was the prettiest girl in the universe.

"Quinn?" He whispered, pulling her back to the desk. She sat down on it without argument but still seemed frozen, her head looking towards the floor. "Speak to me?"

Just when he thought she would never speak again and maybe he should take her to the school, Quinn cleared her throat.

"You can say it Puck."

He didn't understand. "What?"

"Blind." The self-loathing in her voice was too much. He remembered the woods and the darkness and how he'd barely managed to roll from his back before he lost his breakfast. The darkness was suffocating and it made his skin crawl.

"Hey. None of that." He tilted her head, taking in her tear filled hazel eyes behind long eyelashes. With his thumb he wiped the single tear that escaped. "You didn't do this on purpose."

She was shaking her head no and Puck saw all her walls being rebuilt brick by brick right before his very eyes. "I love you Quinn. I have from the very first time I saw you."

"You can't love me."

"I can!" It came out harsher than he intended and she flinched. He lowered his voice, "You can't tell me who I can and can't love. Quinn Fabray I love you."

"I can't trust you." There she said it, cutting to the chase, because she loved him... She really did but they made a disaster of anything they might of had together.

"Why not?" It was a stupid question, he knew it but he needed her to confirm it. Quinn was a complex individual and she made chameleons seem transparent. Just when you were sure she was thinking one thing, she surprised everyone by thinking something completely different.

"I was drunk Puck. Very drunk and you knew it. You said you had protection. I trusted you." The hurt in her words made him very ashamed. He'd done a lot of shameful things in his life but that one was the worst.

"I know and I'll forever be sorry. I didn't know you would get pregnant. If I could go back and change it, I would Quinn. Not because I don't love Beth. I do and she was... is perfect. She always will be. I'd change it because I never meant to hurt you. I never want to hurt you again. You have to believe me." Puck took her hands in his.

People thought she was a cold heartless bitch but really that was a coping mechanism to protect her from her insecurities. She wished with everything she had that she could see his face clearly, see the emotions she heard in his voice. The sincerity as he spoke, cut through her walls of protection.

"I believe you but we can't be anything Puck." She pulled one hand free waving it helplessly in the air.

"I know Quinn, Sam told me everything and I don't care if you can see a little or nothing at all. I'll be your eyes for you." His thumb absently rubbed the back of her hand in soothing motions. "I want you to wear my jersey. I want to start over, date you, take it slow, really get to know each other. We are young and we have time. But..," he rest his forehead against hers, their eyes locking in the short distance between them. "If you want to be friends then just say it and I'll wait for you. I won't ask again. If you change your mind then I'll be there in less than a heart beat. If you don't, then we will be friends forever. It's your choice Quinn. So what'll it be? Friends or more?"

He trailed off unsurely. He hadn't meant to say all that but she meant the world to him. She had to know how special she was to him.

She swallowed nervously, her eyes searching his and he smiled at her. In that moment her walls crumbled in her chest. Tentatively she reached up and pulled his head closer. The moments their lips touched, everything felt right in the world.

TBC

So Puck, Artie and Will now know Quinn's secret. Stay tuned for what happens next.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. It belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 9**

Girls day out with her mom was a rare occurance and for that Quinn was thankful. Normally it involved a lot of awkward moments of silence and frustration. Neither one was comfortable with the other. After her breakdown on her birthday, Quinn figured the 45 minute ride to Gilmore's would be awkward and frustrating just like their girl's day out in the days in the past were.

But it wasn't.

They sat in comfortable silence listening to NPR. Quinn leaned her head back against the headrest, closed her eyes and let the sun warm her face. She focused on the vibrations of the road, memorizing the differences between backroads and the highway.

She must have fallen asleep because before she knew it her mother was shaking her shoulder. Quinn sleepily rubbed her eyes with fisted hands not wanted to wake up from the peaceful feeling she was cocooned in.

"There wasn't any parking in front of the store so I had to park across the street. It's busy so just wait a moment." Just a week ago she would have been mad at her mother's babying her but when the driver's side door opened the sound of rushing traffic made her heart stutter in her chest.

Her door opened and Quinn climbed out onto the sidewalk. She linked her arm through her mother's letting her lead her across the busy road.

Judy was surprised that Quinn didn't make a fuss about being led. It worried her that Quinn's eyesight was worse than what she admitted to the doctor at the last appointment. And she was desperately trying to keep her mouth shut about 'that boy's' football jersey her daughter was wearing.

She caught sight of the piano's in the window and smiled in anticipation of Quinn's reaction. She'd been inseparable from her Nana's piano from the moment it was given to her. They sounds transported Quinn to imaginary places much like the books she loved.

What Judy didn't expect was Quinn to stumble over the step into the shop and then stop dead in her tracks causing Judy to take step backwards. Looking back confused Judy saw the panic on her youngest's face, they way Quinn squinted at the room but her eyes remained on focused. The hand that looped through her arm squeezed painfully on her forearm.

"May I help you ladies today?" An older gentleman spoke walking up to them from the left.

And just like that Quinn plastered on a fake smile so sincerely that if you didn't know her you would never guess it wasn't genuine but the hand on her arm kept its painful hold. Judy mirrored her daughter's smile and turned them towards the man taking a step further into the store. This time Quinn didn't dig her feet in and matched her mother's step.

"We are looking for a piano. My daughter's was destroyed in a move." It wasn't exactly a lie but it still tasted bitter. Quinn let out a puff of air beside her. "It was a family heirloom like those." She motioned to the thin piano's lining the wall.

"Upright." Quinn supplied for her mother.

The gentlemen smiled politely. "I'm Mr. Gilmore, the owner, and I'm sure we can find something to meet your needs." He shook hands with Judy then smiled and held his hand out to Quinn. After a moment when she didn't take his hand, the smile started to slide from his face. Teenagers these days. No one taught them manners.

Judy felt torn between guiding Quinn's hand to his and embarrassing her or letting the handshake go and hurting the owner's feelings. She swallowed hard and smiled apologetically at the owner. He was watching Quinn with a puzzled expression and Judy felt the urge to shelter her daughter from his curiosity.

"What kind of piano do you want Quinn?" She broke the awkward silence and the owner focused on her again.

Quinn shrugged, "I dont know. You're going to have to describe them to me or let me play them. I can't really tell." She didn't care. She just wanted a piano though she knew quality meant better sound but it also meant a higher price.

"Do you play in an orchestra or just for fun Quinn?"

"Just for fun." At least he was talking to her and not around her like she was a piece of driftwood. Quinn looked around but she couldn't see worth crap in the dimly lit store. Mood lighting really sucked and complicated her life.

"Quinnie's really talented." Judy spoke up proudly beside her.

"Mom!" It came out an exasperated whine but inwardly she was pleased at her mom's compliment.

"Well," Mr. Gilmore clapped his hands together, the sound make Quinn jump. "Why don't you sit down over there and play your best piece and then we can see what suites you." He motioned to the first upright piano on the wall with the Not For Sale sign on the top.

Quinn followed her mother to the piano in the corner. She could feel the owner's eyes on her, watching and judging her. But she had bigger worries than some idiots sympathy or repulsion, whatever he was thinking. The piano was in the corner away from the big glass window and she slowed as each step she took caused the objects in front of her to fade. Suddenly she didn't want a piano anymore, she wanted to run away from this but she couldn't. She was in a room full of expensive equipment; a neverending obstacle course. She pictured herself accidentally kicking one of the baby grands and leaving an expensive scuff mark as she fled from the scene of the crime into the bright sun.

Quinn stopped suddenly, her mind taking over her actions and she froze in place. Judy tugged on her arm and Quinn forced out one last tentative step into the darkness, her shin connected lightly with the seat of a piano bench and Judy let go of her arm.

Slowly she realized she was just standing there like a statue. Her mother wouldn't know what to do. The last time Quinn played for her mother she had much better vision and she hadn't yet given up her virginity to Puck. Quinn fingered Puck's jersey drawing strength from his unwavering faith in her.

The shop owner was watching Quinn curiously Judy noticed. Just when Judy thought Quinn would never move and she started to rescue her, Quinn bent forward and pulled the bench out. Judy let out a relieved breath.

Quinn reached out feeling for the piano. Her hand came up empty. She reached again, leaning a little farther forward, her fingers connected with the closed key cover. Sighing with relief, she sat down and lifted the cover. Her foot moved, pressing the tension in each of the foot pedals.

She could feel their eyes making holes in the back of her head. She in turn imagined it was Sam and Puck watching her to ease her nerves. Up until this week she hadn't played for anybody but her family and that made her super antsy. And because she was imagining it was Puck and Sam with her and they knew she was blind and, well, because she had no choice she couldn't see a thing in the dim store light above her, Quinn leaned forward, her nose almost touching the keys and squinted. She couldn't even make out the black keys.

Judy knew the moment the shop owner realized Quinn was blind. He tried to hide it but for a brief second something flashed over his face before his eyes softened. He looked nervously between Quinn and Judy.

"I can bring over a music lamp if that would help." He offered.

Quinn straightened from her bent over position. Sure it might help her find the middle C but she normally played with her eyes closed anyway. "That's okay. I don't need it." She spoke with a confidence she wasn't feeling.

He looked dubiously at them as Quinn stretched both arms out wide feeling the last key in each direction. She slowly ran each hand over the ivory keys bringing her hands together until her thumbs were side by side. Finely she scooted forward, straightedge her spine and moved her hands into position. She pressed with her thumb slightly praying that the right note would meet her ears. Quinn relaxed as the middle c ran out in the store. She could do this.

Quinn posed her fingers over the keys and began to play. The opening notes were a soft lullaby. Her birth and infancy. Long, delicate fingers moved effortless and the strains built into a jovial ragtime. Toddlerhood spent playing with Sam.

_Innocence_.

Suddenly the music took a darkening tone. Quinn's fingers drove the quickening pace flawlessly. Her eyes opened to darkness and her chest tightened remembering the moment her life changed as a five and a half year old. With a deep breath she slowed the pace, moving the piece in a more relaxed, happy pace yet the undertones of darkness remained in the background.

Mr. Gilmore stood gawking at the blind teenager playing the most amazing piano he'd heard since his days with the Toledo Symphony. She finished letting the last notes trail off hauntingly and looked back at them a shy smile gracing her pretty face. It dawned on him then in that moment that this girl did not know how good she was.

"Quinn you are more than talented, that was amazing." He gushed.

Quinn blushed with the compliment and felt her mother's hand rest on her shoulder. She turned on the bench so that she faced the direction his voice came from.

"May I ask who trained you. I'm sure you were a pleasure to teach."

"My living room." The sarcasm snuck out. She couldn't help it. She started piano lessons with the a local in Bellville but when she became sick and the family was told the news of her eyesight, Russell pulled her from classes and refused to let her take lessons. Judy squeezed her shoulder hard in warning.

"I taught myself how to play in my living room."

He chuckled. "No really who taught you? I'd like to compliment them on a job well done."

Quinn smiled, "Well thank you." She imagined his jaw dropping.

"Yes. Quinn taught herself the piano when she was six." Judy decided to rescue the man from Quinn's quirky attitude. Quinn smiled shyly again at the pride in her mother's voice.

"I didn't recognize the piece you were playing."

"I composed it myself." Quinn wished she had a watch to tell how much time they'd been sitting there. She was ready to pick out a piano and get home, all this attention was getting to her. She wasn't used to compliments, especially not when it came to her skills as a pianist.

"You're in high school?" He noticed the football jersey.

She nodded. "Sophomore."

"In that case you might consider applying to Juilliard in a few years. The Lima Youth Orchestra would look good on your application. Auditions are in October."

The smile slipped from her face. When they first moved to Lima she'd researched the Youth Orchestra even though she knew it would be a long shot that her daddy would actually let her audition. Her dreams came crashing down when she realized the audition involved sight reading.

"I changed my mind. I don't think I want a piano now. I'm sorry for wasting your time." She started to move forward but froze. She couldn't even escape. Reality set in with a deep thud and her heart stopped beating. She was blind. She couldn't do anything she really wanted to. Her future was slipping away further from her grasp everyday. Quinn looked over helplessly, her face flushed with shame, and prayed that her mother would take her arm and leave the store.

Judy sent an apologetic look at Mr. Gilmore. "Nonsense Quinn." She grabbed her daughters arm a little roughly and led her to one of the large open black piano's in the room. "Try this one out."

Mr. Gilmore cleared his throat nervously. "Mrs...?"

"Fabray."

"Yes Mrs. Fabray. Let's go to the counter and get some more information so I can help better." He motioned to the counter at the back of the store.

Once they were there and Quinn started playing the piano softly, Judy turned to apologize for Quinn's behavior but he cut her off with a soft smile. "I take it she can see a little?"

"Yes, for now, she can see contrasts if there is enough light. I'm sorry for her attitude. This is fairly sudden and she's having some adjustment issues."

"That must be hard for all of you."

Judy simply nodded. What could she say? Watching your child hurt, even with something as simple as a paper cut, hurt greatly. "She probably will loose the rest of her vision sometime in her lifetime." The words felt like coal to her, hard and lumpy, getting stuck on the way out.

"If you have the room I suggest a baby gand like the one she is playing now."

Judy nodded then realizing how dark the room was in their house. Quinn probably wouldn't be able to see it. "I don't know much about this, Mr. Gilmore, but do they come in lighter colors?"

The man smiled, his face lighting up with happiness. "It's very expensive but I think I have the perfect piano for you. We can work out a payment plan and I give school discounts." He was already heading back towards Quinn and Judy rushed to keep up.

"I've just been getting some information from your mother and I think a baby grand would be best for your talents."

Quinn was shaking her head no but Judy cut her off. "I'm buying a piano today and you can either help me or I will pick it out myself."

Quinn huffed causing her bangs to move against her forehead. "Fine. I think I should get an upright. Less chance of falling over it." Quinn shrugged.

"We can do that but I think I have the perfect piano. Please come see it first."

Quinn flinched at that word, see, but took her mother's arm. They passed through a set of doors before entering a dark backroom. Quinn heard the click of a light switch a moment before blurry images assaulted her flooded vision. She blinked and immediately picked up the outline of the piano. It was so bright against the dark interior. She dropped her mother's arm and moved forward, running her hand down its smooth side.

"This is a Steinway John Lennon Imagine Edition White Grand Piano. It's on the smaller end of the scale and I've been saving it for just the right person."

"What do you think Quinnie?" Judy didn't need Quinn to answer, the smile on her face and the way her eyes lit up, was answer enough.

"It's too expensive mom." Quinn answered running her fingers along its keys.

"Well I told you we were going to buy you a car and those are expensive. So let me worry about the cost. Is this the one?"

Quinn couldn't take her eyes off it. "Yeah." She whispered.

Judy smiled proudly at her daughter, grateful that she'd been given a second chance.

The ride back to Lima was quiet. Quinn seemed to escape somewhere into her mind and Judy grew more nervous by the mile. At last she pulled the car up their driveway.

Quinn made no effort to leave the car, instead a single tear escaped, creating a slick tract down her cheek.

"Sweetie?" She watched her daughter take a shuddering breath. She reached out and squeezed her daughters hand. Quinn smiled slightly, squeezed back but continued to stare out the front window.

"Did I do something wrong?" She didn't think so but with Quinn lately she couldn't be sure.

Quinn chuckled sadly. It was a heart breaking sound. "Do you know what my favorite quote is?"

Judy needed to strain to hear the softly spoken words. She shook her head no watching as Quinn chewed her bottom lip. "No sweetie."

Quinn pursed her lips together. She didn't know why she was telling her mother this but she was hit with the sudden desire to make sure her mother knew.

"Suddenly there was a great burst of light through the Darkness. The light spread out and where it touched the Darkness the Darkness disappeared. The light spread until the patch of Dark Thing had vanished, and there was only a gentle shining, and through the shining came the stars, clear and pure." The quotation from _A Wrinkle in Time_ came out a breathy whisper.

Judy sucked in a deep breath.

"That's what the piano does for me." Quinn turned in her seat, looking towards her mother. "Thank you for giving me that back." Quinn leaned over the armrest and pecked her mom on the cheek, then exited the car.

Yes, Judy thought, she was so grateful for the second chance to see her daughter grow into the remarkable young woman she was becoming.

TBC

AN: There may be a little bit of a break between updates now as I try to bring in some other characters. There are Glee characters that I simply struggle with writing.


	10. Chapter 10

This part came out faster than I figured it would. I'm letting the story take me where it goes. I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 10**

"Aweful!" Sue creamed into her megaphone. "My two headed step-sister has more coordination than you!"

Santana groaned from the bottom of the pyramid. Some freshman kept squirming on top of her, digging her boney knee into her back.

"Pathetic! Hit the showers!"

Santana breathed out the breath she didn't know she was holding as the knee extracted itself from her kidneys. She grabbed Britt's hand, linking pinkies and took off toward the lockers.

"Hold up Boobs McGhee, Britt." Santana's ears started ringing as Sue's megaphone blasted right next to her ear. Brittany tightened her hold on her hand.

"Yes Coach?" Santana gagged on the sickening sweet sound coming out of her mouth. She still hadn't found out who leaked her summer surgery, she was positive Quinn didn't do it, but whoever did it better be a fast runner. There would be hell to pay if she found out.

"I have a mission for you, much like Nicaragua in the early '90's." Sue towered over them a longing look on her face before she snapped back into the present. "I want Q back!" One long arm and finger pointed into bleachers. "Friggins took away my confetti cannons and I want them back."

Britt frowned over Sue's shoulder, not seeing what Quinn had to do with confetti cannons.

"I bet your wondering what Preggo has to do with confetti cannons?" Sue didn't let them respond, oblivious to the looks. "Do you know how many church groups would eat up the fact that, I, Sue Sylvester, rehabilitated a teenage girl who got knocked up and now campaigns for abstinence education? Confetti cannons will just be the start."

Santana looked past Sue's shoulders to the bleachers. Almost every practice since Q hooked back up with Puck, Santana would spot the blonde near the top bleacher, when the Cheerios made it onto the track for their practice. It would be understandable if Quinn actually watched the football practice but Quinn sat still for the hour and a half practice, her back leaning against the bleacher behind her, her face tilted to the sky, a set of headphones in her ears. She sat like a statue, the only indication she was alive was the rhythmic tapping of Quinn's fingertips on her knees.

"San?" Brittany leaned into her side. "Quinn's like a broken unicorn lost in a dark thunderstorm." Santana looked a Britt questioningly. She understood the lost part. Quinn seemed to have lost her way when Beth's adoption finalized. However, she seemed more stable now that Puck was by her side. The dark part simply made no sense. But it came from Brittany so Santana wasn't surprised. It was what she loved about her; always making people think.

"Coach, I don't think that..."

"Now inflate your plastic boobs and get Q back on the squad!" Sue cut Santana off and walked away.

"That's a good idea."

... Glee ...

Puck high fived Sam as they exited the high school after the game on Friday night. "Nice footwork bro!"

With Finn as quarterback, the football team didn't suck for the first time in McKinley history. Add in Kurt's unique kicking style and they were actually winning games.

Finn strolled past them with his arm slung over Rachel's shoulder. He clapped Sam on the back of the shoulder. "Nice catch dude." He turned to Puck. "Is your girl to good to come to your games Puck?" He snickered.

"Shut up Finn." Puck shouldered past him.

"Finn, leave Noah alone." Rachel smiled at him before pulling Finn towards her car.

"Sammy!" The little blonde bombshell that was Stacy Evans jumped from her mom's car as her older brother walked up to where the family was standing around. "You scored the winningest goal!"

"Hey Quinn." Puck melted when Quinn turned towards his voice from where she was leaning against the Evan's mini-van. She was dressed in her 'Friday Night Football outfit' of faded blue jeans, Dr. Seuss shoes and his football jersey. Tonight she had on a jeans jacket and her neon pink headphones still hung around her neck.

"Hey Noah." Her voice caressed the night. Yep, Puck was head over heals for her. He leaned down capturing her lips mindful that her Aunt and Uncle were standing right there.

"Eww!" Stacy and Stevie chorused from behind them. Quinn blushed.

"You ready?" He chuckled against her lips. When she nodded, he took her hand turning towards Sam's parents.

"You're going to the pizza place in Findlay and then straight back to the house correct?" Dwight eyed him. He knew of his niece's history with Puck, but the boy had been nothing but respectful of the boundaries that the adults in Quinn's life established recently. He absolutely cherished the ground Quinn walked on, anyone could see that. He pushed Quinn past her comfort zone when she became scared but never pushed her so far she fell hard. The boy respected the curfews that were established, always bringing Quinn home in time. Sometimes they'd show up right as the clock turned but never were they even a second late. The boy had a bad reputation but he seemed to put that all beside when it came to Dwight's niece

"Yes Mr. Evan's. Curfew is at 11. We won't be late."

"Can we go to mommy?" Stacy latched on to Quinn's leg.

They were starting to form traditions. Finn's taunting earlier might have hurt him if it weren't for the fact that he knew Quinn was at the football game. She just chose to stay in the safety of the van listening to the game on the local radio station.

That first game, weeks ago, when he'd kissed her in the science room she promised to come to the game. He smiled up at her when the team ran out on the field but she seemed tense even with Stacy sitting on her lap, her arms wrapped around the young girl, her chin resting on blonde hair.

He didn't think much of it until he looked into the stands at the end of the first quarter. She had a set of headphones on and looked asleep. Puck was upset about it and when he scored a touchdown he refused to look towards her.

In the lockeroom Sam noticed his attitude despite the team's second win in two years. Sam nearly laughed his blonde hair off. Puck looked properly chastised when Sam told him she was listening to the game so she could see what was going on. Yes, dating Quinn was going to be a learning curve. Puck may have failed kindergarten years ago and he may have barely passed freshman year but he was smart enough to know not to mention it to Quinn.

High School football in the Midwest is a huge deal and as the McKinley Titans won game after game, the crowd coming out to support them grew larger and larger. He watched silently at Quinn's growing frustration with people surrounding her, bumping into her and generally being oblivious to her personal space. As fall continued on, dusk came earlier and earlier. Quinn started disappearing during half-time. Puck was learning not to jump to conclusions when it came to Quinn's actions. She had her reasons for her odd behavior and it usually revolved around her eyesight. Finally, Quinn admitted to the complete night blindness and taking refuge in the van each game.

Yes, they were forming traditions. Quinn came to the game, staying in the comfort of the van and listening to the game. That way she could still support Puck and he could focus on the game and not worry about her safety. Afterwards, they would climb into Puck's pick-up and drive the 35 miles up I-75 to Marco's Pizza in Findlay. Quinn could simply relax and not have to pretend she didn't have a disability around people who knew her. They would slide into a booth near the brightly lit kitchen, Puck sitting next to her so she could see him and order a half Hawaiian and half double pepperoni pizza. His heart would swell in his chest until he thought it might explode when she rolled her eyes up in bliss, mumbling bacon between bites. Puck was definitely growing fond of traditions.

His truck rumbled to a stop near the front door to Marco's, the light coming from the pizzaria's large front windows lighting up the interior of his car. Quinn looked relaxed, her head leaning back against the truck's seat with a pleasant smile gracing her lips.

Pulling his keys, Puck jumped from the truck. He quickly crossed around the hood to the passenger side door and opened it. Quinn turned in the seat, hanging her feet outside the compartment. Puck kept his hands on her waist as she dropped the short distance from the raised cab. Once she was steadied, he looped their arms together, closed the door and headed inside.

Marco Lombardi smiled brightly when his favorite teenagers came through the front door. He saw a lot of teenagers on Friday nights but when the boy with the Mohawk approached him asking him to reserve the booth closest to the kitchen for them every Friday night, well they became his favorite couple. It wasn't just because the repeat business was good for his wallet, but because the teenager obviously made the blind girl his world. He later introduced her as 'his girl Quinn'.

"I started to think you two weren't showing tonight." He smiled from behind the counter as they entered arm and arm.

"Hey Mr. Marco," Quinn smiled at him. "We had trouble getting away from my 4 year old cousin."

"Saved your seat for you. Pizza will be out in a few."

Puck kissed Quinn's head causing her to blush, before leading her to their seat. A moment later two cokes were brought to them.

"That Hail Mary Sam caught must have been something. The announcers went nuts." Quinn smiled at the memory of having to pull her headphones from her ears at their screaming.

"It was." Puck agreed, moving Quinn's drink out of the way as the brick oven pizza was placed on the table. He deposited a slice of her bacony goodness on her plate, watching the steam rise from it. "Careful. It's extra hot."

"I could hear Coach S. yelling from the car." Quinn smiled at that. She knew she was driving the normally crazy coach, even farther down the crazy trail. Santana and Brittany were consistent in their pursuit of her, but each time she politely declined. The frustration between between Sue's lackey's was growing by leaps and bounds. Quinn was having fun toying with them but it was growing old fast.

"Britt and Santana were at it again yesterday." She told him between bites of pizza. He nudged her shoulder playfully with his.

"You could always tell them why you can't join." He kept his voice teasing and playfull, placing a second slice of pizza on her plate.

"Mhhm." She looked thoughtful. "Maybe soon." The moment passed.

"You enjoy toying with them too much." She smirked at that, it was true, and she dug into the pizza.

Puck thought about it all the way home. She didn't offer more and Puck didn't press it. It was unspoken between them. When it came to this, Puck supported her, didn't rush her but protected her silently by her side the whole time.

At 10:59 he led her up the path to the front door. Mary peeked out at them from behind the curtains, smiled at him, then disappeared again leaving them alone.

Quinn shivered in the cool October air, her jacket not quite providing enough warmth. Puck pulled off his letterman's jacket and placed it over her shoulders. She cuddled into it and he wrapped his arms around her, tucking her into a hug.

"Homecoming is in a month. Will you go with me to the dance?" He wasn't asking because he was looking for a date and she was available. They were well established as a couple now. In any other situation it was obvious he would accompany her to the dance. He was asking because he wasn't sure if she would want to go. He needed to know so he had time to plan.

Her mood darkened, as he figured it would and he tightened his hold on her.

"I don't know Noah. Not that being with you isn't fun but..." Quinn was thinking of the dark lighting in the gym, of the kids crowding around, long dresses she wouldn't be able to make out and avoid stepping on. It seemed like torture not fun.

He smiled into her hair, turned her so her back was against his chest and began swaying.

"_When I first saw you, I saw love_." She chuckled and relaxed into his embrace as he softly began singing. "_And the first time you touched me, I felt love."_

Never in a million years would she think that Noah Puckerman would sing a song like this. "_After all this time, you're still the one I love_."

He twirled her before pulling her back into his strong arms. "_Looks like we made it. Look how far we've come my baby._" He swayed them in place. "_We mighta took the long way, we knew we'd get there someday._"

Her giggles grew when he buried his face into her hair and wiggled his eyebrows. "_They said, "I bet they'll never make it._""

Her giggles faded when he turned her, tilted her head up and lowered his forehead to hers. This was their position. In the fluorescent light of the school she could just make out enough detail to read his expressions. She loved him for it. Now in the middle of her porch, she imagined he was looking at her with a mixture of love and silliness.

"_But look at us holding on_. _We're still together still going strong_." His voice trailed off with a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Let me make the night special for you." She nodded against him because no words could make there way past the lump clogging her vocal chords.

Was this really her life? Two months ago when school started she felt so lost. Now, with Noah, she felt found for the first time in her life.

Noah chuckled. "Good, and if you tell anyone I sung a chick song..."

Quinn cut him off, pulling his head back towards her, locking him in a kiss. No way was she sharing this perfect moment with anyone.

Puck sighed against her lips. He wished Quinn wasn't legally blind but he wouldn't change it because it tore down her 'Puck proof walls' and let him into her heart. He was going to sing this song to her when they were old and gray and living in a nursing home somewhere. She simply didn't know that yet.

Life with Quinn was perfect.

TBC

The song Puck sang is You're Still the One by Shania Twain.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 11**

_Objects in mirror are closer than they appear._

That's what flashed through her mind, less than a week later, when she turned from her locker and Jacob Ben Israel's mic smacked into her nose causing tears to spring to her eyes at the pain shooting up her nasal cavity. She crinkled her nose and narrowed her eyes at the JewBlob in front of her.

"Shalom blogosphere." His voice quivered and she took a menacing step forward. Either he was going to move out of the way or she would plow over him. This reaked of bad hair gel and Sue Sylvester. Quinn paused realizing her thoughts sounded like it came straight from her former coach's mouth. Quinn shuddered.

The pause was just the break JewFro needed and he shoved the mic in her face again.

"Confirm or deny that you are knocked up with your second Puckerman?" Her hand paused mid-air where she was getting ready to knock the mic away again. All the air left her lungs in a painful whoosh, her mouth dropped open.

"There you have it, blogosphere. This reaction is all we need. Puckerman 2.0 coming to a delivery room soon."

She shoved hard, connecting both with the mic and JewFro's chin, sending both crashing to the ground. She might have been pleased by her impromptu luck but she was too busy trying not to die of a heart attack right there in the middle of the second floor hallway. The hallway went eerily silent except for Jacob's whimpering.

She stumbled forward, desperately needing to get away but without people talking and the tears blurring her vision even more, she couldn't tell where anyone was.

Her shoulder bumped into someone, she stumbled sideway reaching for the wall. Strong arms caught her wrist.

"Quinn calm down. Stop!" Santana's voice barely made it past the rushing whoosh-whoosh of her wildly beating heart. She jerked her hand free causing her to connect with the corner of the wall.

The stairs.

She turned blindly towards it and tripped over the top step, stumbling into the wave of bodies, her ankles twisting underneath her but she kept going. Thankfully the wave of people kept her upright and deposited her on the first floor. She made a beeline for the front doors barely making it outside before her lungs exploded.

... Glee ...

Santana burst into the guys locker room causing a series of ladylike shrieks in her wake.

"Get out!" She growled.

"Satan you can't be in here." Puck laughed as the locker room cleared.

She turned on him. Sam shuddered next to him.

"Quinn's flipping out!" Santana shouted, grabbing Sam by his shirt collar, yanking him towards the door.

"What do you mean flipping out?" Puck yanked the door open just as Sam managed to extract himself from the angry Latina. "What happened?"

"JewFro shoved a mic in her face, said something and she went nuts. Man she has a mean right hook." Santana got lost in her thoughts, remembering the jerk hitting the ground like a sack of potatoes. But then she remembered Quinn's surprised look, before she went bonkers in her attempt to get away.

"Santana! What did he say?" Puck pulled her from her thoughts, gently pushing her against the wall and stepping into her face. The look in his eyes was a cross between murderous fury and utter despair. Santana shivered. Something wasn't right in the land of Quinn.

"I don't know. I was too far away but the hallway went silent then she freaked on him when he shoved the mic back in her face." Sam and Puck shared a look. She'd seen it before when Quinn's back was turned to them.

"Where is she now?"

"She flipped, practically broke her ankles tripping down the stairs and fled. She's under the bleechers pacing around." Santana shook her head. "I'm standing right in front of her screaming at her and she didnt even respond."

There was that look again. "I think she's having a heart attack."

Sam took off at a sprint. She wasn't having a heart attack. No, she was having a panic attack. He'd seen more than one of her panic attacks and if she wasn't talked down from the proverbial ledge this would end in disaster.

... Glee ...

Quinn was trying hard not to completely hyperventilate but air simply wouldn't enter her lungs and all she could do was gasp hard. She stopped pacing and dropped to her knees, clutching her chest, her throat, her head, the ground... everything.

Oh God. If her mom saw this, everything they'd built since August would crumble.

She was going to have to beg Rachel to pribe JewFro not to post that video just like Rachel did the time she actually was pregnant.

Beth. Her one perfect thing in this world. Quinn's chest tightened even more painfully. But Quinn was trying to make piano her perfect thing... to heal her broken heart but Beth was too painful and she missed her something terrible.

And oh God the whole school was surely talking about this by now. Even if Rachel stopped Jacob, Lima was a small town, her mother was sure to hear about this before she could make it home. Last year her parents were to drunk and blissfully ignorant until Finn spilled the beans. Her mother definitely wasn't ignorant now. She was becoming increasingly observant.

Her life was like a psychotic game of Murphy's law. Her vision dimmed in the bright noonday sun.

"Quinn?" Hands grabbed at her arms. She jerked away. Crawling. Stumbling. She had to keep moving away from everything.

"Is she having a heart attack?"

She vaguely recognized Sam and Santana's voice.

"Shut up! Just grab my truck. Quinn breath, baby. In. Out. In. Out" Puck's angry yet loving voice drifted into her addled brain. She thought maybe she should feel bad about the underlining worry she could hear in his voice but instead gave in to the darkness.

Puck was here. She was safe.

... Glee ...

Puck knew it was going to be bad as soon as he spotted her underneath the bleechers. She was on her hands and knees, eyes wide open and completely dazed. Some aweful keening sound coming from deep in her throat. Never in his life had he ever heard anything like it. It hurt his ears and broke his heart. She started rocking back and forth alternating between holding her head and clawing at her chest.

Puck lunged forward, grasping Quinn's hands firmly to prevent further injury. Her eyes darted wildly as she fought against him. She looked like a victim in a horror movie, her face coated with blood from the cuts on her palms, bits of glass lodge in the delicate skin. How appropriate he thought for a minute as Sam ran off to find his truck; Quinn was stuck in her own version of a horror movie.

"In. Out. In. Out." He coaxed but it fell on deaf ears.

Santana let out a strangled sob as Quinn's hazel eyes rolled into the back of her head and slumped sideways.

Puck lunged for Quinn as she face planted towards the glass covered cement, the momentum of her body losing consciousness causing her bones to turn to jello. He pulled her onto his lap cradling her blood and snot covered face into his chest, relaxing slightly as her breathing evened out, her lungs not having to fight past the panic.

Puck broke every speed limit and traffic law as he raced through Lima towards Santa Rita Medical Center. He had to force himself to keep his eyes on the road and not on the review mirror. He wanted to be in the back cradling Quinn's head in his lap but Sam and Santana only had their learner's permit and wrecking his truck wouldn't help Quinn at all.

He screeched to a halt, his truck cockeyed in front of the the Emergency Room doors. In the five minute drive which they made in two minutes, Santana had managed to find a Wendy's napkin and cleaned up Quinn's face. He'd have to thank her when he wasn't on the verge of his own panic attack.

Sam jumped out of the black pickup, running to keep up with Puck as he carried Quinn through the automatic doors. Santana easily kept up with them, the truck completely forgotten about.

He'd managed to reach his mother as his Aunt Judy was currently in court in Toledo and wasn't expected to arrive back in Lima for a few days.

"Help us!" Puck yelled at the startled emergency room staff. It was Lima, Ohio in the middle of the day during the week which usually meant pure boredom. The room was empty of patients.

"What happened?" Quinn was pulled from his arms and placed on a gurney, his throat suddenly clogged with tears.

"She had a panic attack and passed out." Sam supplied when Puck didn't make any attempt to answer.

The doctor pulled out his stethoscope, pressing it against Quinn's chest.

"How long has she been unconscious?" The doctor was looking between the teenagers.

Sam spoke up again when no one else did. "About 5 minutes maybe."

One of the nurses was wrapping Quinn's hands in gauze, her palms still seeping blood from the cuts. He swallowed hard, knowing how important her hands were now.

"Okay, someone needs to get ahold of her parents and you need to get back to school." The wheels to the gurney unlocked with a click.

"Wait!" Sam grabbed the doctors scrub covered arm as the gurney started moving towards the inner doors that separated the intake sections of the ER and the trauma rooms. Puck and Santana finally came out of their haze and fell into step beside it. "She can't be alone."

"Sweetie, we will be with her." The nurse spoke softly, her hand pulling at Sam's. Sam let go of the doctor's arm but clutched the guard rail instead, his knuckles turning white.

"No!" His voice cracked with its intensity. "My mom, her Aunt, is on the way but she has Devic's disease. She's blind, please I have to stay with her!" He ignored Santana's gasp. The doctor looked confused and pulled out a PDA and started clicking at it. He nodded to the nurse and the gurney started moving.

"You can come with us until an adult gets here. You two have to stay out here." The doctor spoke as Santana and Puck were pushed away from the gurney. Sam caught sight of Puck sinking to his knees and Sanata puffing up to argue until the door closed, blocking them from his sight. The gentle arm of a nurse led him further into the trauma bay.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to fox. No copyright infringement necessary.

**Chapter 12**

_Five year old Sammy Evans sat on his Nana Angela's floral print couch, swinging his feet against the the couch with a thunk. His cousin Frannie would scowl at him every time his feet collided. She was older and always mean to him and Lucy but Sam just thought that was because she didn't have a cousin her own age to play with. It must be lonely without a bestest friend._

_Sam's lip quivered. He couldn't understand why Lucy hadn't been around in days to play. His mommy tried to explain that she was sick. He didn't understand it because he'd been dropped off at his Nana's house, with a small suitcase and his snoopy doll and he hadn't seen Lucy or his mommy and daddy for almost seven whole days. Frannie was there too and his Aunt Judy hadn't picked him up from school either. His mommy called every night but her voice sounded funny and his daddy told him he had to be a big boy._

_"Don't you dare cry, dweeb!" Frannie spat at him from her spot next to him on the couch._

_He wanted to run to his Nana but she looked worse than his mommy did after his other Nana, Nana D, went in to the hospital last year. He never saw her again. His mommy told him Nana D was sick and went to live permanently with the angels. Last night when he was supposed to be asleep but he couldn't, he missed his cousin too much, he heard his Nana Angela in the kitchen talking on the phone. He'd snuck into her big kitchen hoping she would give him a warm glass of milk and read to him. He couldn't read yet but Lucy could and he missed the way she bounced up and down, her eyes shining brightly as she flipped through her books, telling him stories of a dragon slaying prince and princesses with long golden hair. Lucy's hair always glimmered in the sun and he thought any princess had to look like her._

_His Nana's back was to him and she was shaking. He thought maybe she was laughing and he wanted to laugh with her too. But then he heard her sniffle into the phone and heard Lucy's name. He smiled because he really wanted to talk to her and maybe his Nana would let him. Nana Angela was crying because she was talking to Lucy even though it was way past their bedtime and Lucy was always cranky if she didn't get enough sleep._

_Just when he was going to ask if he could talk to her, she whispered Children's Hospital, her voice sounding funny like his mommy's and Sam froze. He felt funny and his mouth tasted like the cotton ball he tried to eat in Preschool. He didn't know what a children's hospital was but his Nana D went into a hospital to become an angel and maybe a children's hospital was where kids went to become an angel too._

_He snuck back to his bedroom before his Nana could scold him for being awake._

_He didn't want Lucy to become an angel because she was a princess and angel's went away forever._

... Glee ...

Sam smiled weakly at his mother when she came out Quinn's hospital room that evening. She looked as exhausted as he felt. After she arrived at the hospital with his dad in tow, they put their foot down on the three teenager's staying and forced them back to McKinley.

They didn't go right away, instead Puck drove them around aimlessly until they grew tired of Santana's ranting at the top of her lungs in Spanish. He barely caught a word of what she was saying except Quinn's name. He wasn't really paying attention to her and besides evidently dyslexia didn't discriminate against foreign languages.

Finally, they decided that they better show up and assess the damage done for Quinn's sake. And if they happened to run into Jacob, and they would run into him, JewFro would think Quinn's right hook was a light tap.

They were stopped in the hall near the school office by Miss Pillsbury. Jacob sat outside Principle Figgins door with a dark red welt on his chin. He eyed them wearily and gulped when they walked past him to get to Miss Pillsbury's office.

Emma held it together when the three sat down. She informed them that Jacob was being taken care of and if he ever came within a few yards of Quinn, he would be facing a weeks worth expulsion. Subsequently Quinn was off the hook for hitting Jacob since most likely she didn't really mean to. However if any of them were caught harming Jacob their punishment would be far worse than a weeks expulsion. Retaliation would not be tolerated.

When they all nodded they understood, though she doubted Santana and Puck would comply, she softened and asked how Quinn was.

Sedated.

Puck broke down then, his shoulders shaking and Sam grabbed Santana's hand silently pulling her from Emma's office. They hadn't seen anything and when Puck showed up later in Spanish class, neither mentioned it.

Sam didn't want to go to class and they were halfway through fifth period anyway. Santana had at least stopped ranting in Spanish but she carried herself stiffly, however, her eyes spoke worlds of hurt and betrayal.

So they found themselves in the auditorium. Sam sat at the baby grand plucking out 'twinkle twinkle little star'. It was horrible and it made him wonder if Quinn would ever twinkle like she did before all of this.

Finally Santana couldn't take it anymore. She brought her hands down on the piano keys with a clang of too many wrong notes being pressed at once. She demanded that he tell her what was going.

His mouth opened and it all spilled out, Quinn's childhood sickness and the endless tests, the three months she spent at St. Louis Children's Hospital when they were five years old, how she came home in a wheelchair unable to walk incredibly pale with debilitating headaches caused by blurry double vision. The doctors weren't able to pinpoint what the source of her sickness was but they started her on a cocktail of medicine that made her throw up so much she became a twig. Her vision continued to worsen but the paralysis eventually went away and with therapy, a lot of therapy, she went from the chair, to a walker, to crutches and eventually no one could tell by looking at her that she ever had any problems to begin with. She was just a little clumsy sometimes.

That was Quinn's thing; hide the truth pretend to be something she wasn't, but Sam knew she suffered through bouts of pins and needles in her legs and feet. Somedays, especially recently, he would catch her dragging her left foot slightly. Sam told Santana about the periods of remission where everything would be fine and then she'd get sick again with more of her eyesight blurring. He told her on particularly bad days growing up Quinn's eyes would ache so much just moving them was agony.

And then when she was nine Quinn had a bad relapse and ended up at Cleveland's Children's Center where she met Dr. Ortez, a John's Hopkins trained neurologist. Quinn's case reminded him of another case he saw while a resident. More tests were ordered and finally they had a diagnosis: Neuromyletis Optica also known as Devic's disease. A rare disorder that destroyed the fibers and tissue of the optic nerve and spinal cord.

They said she was incredibly blessed to not be both blind and completely dependent on a wheelchair. It was little comfort to two nine year olds that had their youth robbed by chronic illness. Dr. Ortez didn't sugar coat it for them. The way the disease was particularly aggressive on her optic nerves that any more relapses and she'd probably be legally blind by her next birthday and faced the real truth that by the time she was a young adult she might be totally blind. But then he smiled and said that there was a couple treatments they could try. She was started on monthly immunosuppressants in which Quinn and more times than not Sam's mom would travel to Cleveland and spend several days in the hospital for the therapy. The treatments were incredibly hard on Quinn and it caused her to gain a lot of weight eventually leading to Quinn abandoning her first name.

The treatment worked and she had increasing periods of remission and fewer periods of relapse. But then she'd gotten pregnant with Beth and the decision was made to stop the immunosuppressants. Over the summer she relapsed and it robbed most of the remaining vision she had.

He cried when he told her that seeing her clutching at her throat unable to breathe scared him more than anything. The number one cause of death in patients with Devic's is respiratory failure.

Sam hadn't meant to tell her all that but he was so very tired. He was tired of carrying the burden. He was 15, almost 16 but he felt ancient. Some days he didn't feel like he'd ever really been a kid. He told her all this because Quinn needed everyone's help; a can of viscous vision destroying, soul breaking worms had been opened on McKinley high. Quinn needed her friends more now than ever and it didn't matter if she was too stubborn to admit it.

Santana grew incredibly quiet and Sam knew that feeling. The feeling of your present and future colliding leaving only rubble in its wake.

"I'm proud of you honey." His mother's soft voice pulled him back into the present.

Sam looked up at her confused but decided it wasn't worth the energy to find out what she meant. Instead he shrugged a shoulder and focused on the floor.

"She's awake."

He finally looked up and his mother smiled, but it came out more of a grimace than anything close to resembling a smile.

After Quinn came to in the ER, she continued to stay agitated and so the doctors had no choice to sedate her. When he arrived back, after school, with Puck and Santana in tow, they were informed that she was still under sedation and would remain that way for most of the evening so she could rest. Only his mother was allowed in.

Puck stayed until his mother called and forced him home to babysit his little sister so she could go to work. No one mentioned the scrapes and swelling on Puck's knuckles because truthfully they all felt like punching something... anything... everything.

Santana had been quiet, eerily quiet, and that scared the guys. As he finished his diatribe in the auditorium, she'd slumped against the piano, slowly sinking to the ground, mumbling something he couldn't make out and didn't have the energy to even try.

She'd been silent since then, and sat through sixth period Spanish with bright eyes much like Puck's were in Ms. Pillsbury's office.

Mr. Shuester simply nodded at them, his own eyes going bright before he cleared his throat and focused on the lesson.

"How is she?" Sam asked and his mother flinches, the grimace of a smile deepening in the cold hospital waiting room.

"Your Aunt Judy should be here soon." Suddenly she's in the seat next to him, the worry lines too prominent for someone his mother's age. "Maybe you can get her to say something... anything."

Sam understands. Quinn has gone to that quiet place in her head where ocean's swirl into tsunami's and tornado's leave a path of destruction.

"I'll try."

Quinn is curled into a little ball in the center of the bed, her back to the visitors chair. She's completely still, her eyes open blankly focused nowhere. She doesn't blink or acknowledge him. She looks lost to Sam and if it weren't for the heart monitor beating a steady rhythym, he might have thought she was a ghost.

The lights are on in the room and the extra light above the head of her bed is turned on. Sam has to blink because the room is so bright it hurts his eyes.

"Quinn." Sam reaches out nervously, taking one of her pail hands in his large ones, the black of the stitches on her palms contrast starkly against the porcelain skin. He squeezes gently when she makes no indication that she heard him, then places her hand gently onto the bed and turns to the visitor's chair.

He loudly drops both their backpacks onto the floor with a resounding thud next to the chair. It's mean of him. He flinches, not really thinking through of the sheer loudness the book filled bags would make but she doesn't even twitch an eyelash. Quinn's thoroughly engaged in her mental tsunami.

Resigned, he smashes his knees against the hard metal guardrail and pulls out his Spanish homework. Quinn has to ride out the waves in order to make it out of the storm cellar in her mind. If he pushed her now, she would retreat further. Sam knew this from years of dancing to this sad song with her.

His Aunt Judy arrived, kissed Quinn on the forehead then silently left in search of the doctor. Quinn rolled over towards him, but she's still stuck in that quiet place, her face devoid of emotions, her eyes unblinking. It's really unnerving and Sam focuses again on his Spanish homework.

Thirty minutes later he's fed up from mumbling, "¿Cuándo sale el autobús para la ciudad de México?" It comes out like a cat choking on a fur ball and sounds nothing like the Spanish its supposed to be. He's not even sure if that's the correct phrase he's supposed to be saying, let alone the meaning of it. The letters aren't being kind to him today. With a frustrated growl, Sam crumples the paper into a tight wad of ink and letters. He lets it fly with more gusto then he meant to. The bundle sails past Quinn's head in a slight arch and bounces off the monitors behind her with a thud, landing on her pillow. He plucks it off the bed chuckling.

Go figure.

She doesn't move but Sam can see the tiniest of upward curve to the corner of her lip.

"What are you trying to read?" Her voice is quiet but there's an undertone of laughter and something else. Understanding maybe, because they are both deeply versed in dealing with everyday frustrations.

Really they make quite the pair. Sam smiles at that.

"I have no clue." It's the truth and he's going to fail Mr. Shuester's Spanish exam tomorrow. He didn't want to care about it. With Quinn hurting so much, this exam didn't seem important at all. But he promised his parents he would do his best and he needed to keep his grades up or Coach Beastie would kick him off the football team. He needed football much like he needed oxygen to breath because he needed a scholarship to get into college and academics was not going to be his ticket there.

"Let me see?"

"Quinn, I love you but you're in French class."

"Let me see it." She's sitting up now, tucking her hair around her ears. It's better than the lifeless lump she'd been just moments before but she's still devoid deep down inside.

He stares at her, really stares hard trying to figure this out. Finally he sighs and grabs her eyeglasses from the bedside cubbyhole. They are thick and she hates them, refusing to wear them most of the time, instead using her contacts even though they are painful and don't work as well for her. But they'd been confiscated from her eyes in the emergency room and she would have to wait until she was released before she was allowed to use them again.

Sam reaches down into her bag, grabbing her portable lighted magnifier while he's un-crumpling the messed up homework assignment. With a deep frown he reaches into his own bag grabbing the folder Mr. Schu handed him with each assignment. He's aware of the dyslexia and has been tutoring Sam during study hall but he never understood why he was sent home with his homework in regular form and extra-large print. He hands the pile to Quinn.

She glances towards him, even as she's flipping the light on her magnifier open.

"Which one?"

He wants to say all of them. "Number two."

She pulls the paper close to her face, the magnifier inches from her eyes and squints. He's about to tell her nevermind and that he can get Mr. Shu's help before school when she arches her eyebrow impressively high.

"Número dos. ¿Cuándo sale el autobús para la ciudad de México? When does the bus for Mexico City leave?" She says it with ease and perfect inflection like it was her first language not her second... well third evidently.

"How d-did you...?" He trails off stuttered when she shrugs.

"What?" Her eyebrow arches disappearing into her bangs. "I get bored."

Of course. She's Quinn Fabray. Sam thinks all the while smiling at her. Maybe this time she's not too far gone.

**TBC**

AN: When I started this story, I had a few scenes in mind and a generalized idea of Quinn's illness. I researched and researched reasons for vision loss in little kids and I didn't find anything that struck me as what I wanted to portray so I decided to generalize it and press forward with the story, never intending to mention a specific disease. As I was preparing to write the last few chapters I needed to research a few things regarding continual vision loss and I came across an article about Devic's disease. As I researched this I soon realized it fit in with my story and matched most of the generalizations of the previous chapters. That being said, I still have only a few scenes set in my head that must be included in the story and most of them we haven't reached yet so, I only know a little bit about what Quinn's future holds at this point and I'm still content to let the story tell itself and not force it down any specific preconceived path. I'm excited to find out with you how this story plays out. Thank you for all the reviews and suggestions. I really do try to incorporate them if it benefits the storyline.


	13. Chapter 13

A really long chapter this time. Almost 5500 words!

AN: I highly recommend you head over to YouTube and search for Attraction Shadow Theatre Dancers. It is simply stunning and then you will understand Artie and Brittany's concept better. I did not create them but I am borrowing the idea as an original concept by Artie brought to life by Brittany because she is just a genius like that.

Warning: There are a couple cuss words that come out in this chapter. It's very minor but I wanted to give a warning.

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to fox and Shadow Dancers belong to themselves. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 13**

The piano was easily heard from outside the Fabray's front door.

And it was angry. Very angry.

Rachel shuffled her feet nervously. She'd never been to Quinn's, and well now Sam's, home before. From the outside, it was huge and impressive. She knew Quinn's family had a lot of money but the house looked like it belonged on Celina Lakes, 40 minutes southwest of them and not in Lima.

The piano stopped, Rachel straightened her argyl sweater and prepared to ring the doorbell when the piano started again. She was pretty versed in classical music as part of her vocal lessons plus her daddy's loved classical piano, but the music she was hearing now, she couldn't place.

It was breathtaking though. She never knew Quinn was so talented. Actually, up until a few months ago she never knew Quinn could play the piano. It shouldn't have been a surprise. None of them really knew Quinn. Last week proved that.

Glee Club was still reeling from the shock. Practice on the day of the 'Jacob incident' as it was being referred to was painful. By the time club time came around word had spread throughout the whole school of Quinn's meltdown and needing to be hospitalized. Puck and Sam were missing but that was to be expected.

Rachel didn't know why Santana was slumped against Brittany. Every time the blonde moved, Santana would whimper and tighten her grip as if she was afraid Brittany would disappear. And the Latina looked like she'd been crying for hours, her eyes completely bloodshot. Brittany simply looked confused but that wasn't anything new.

Finn was scowling next to her and Mercedes looked hurt. Rachel just wanted to move on with the practice. Sectionals was a month and a half away. Today was the day that the judging committee announced the theme and requirements. She already had so many ideas running through her head, she could barely contain herself.

But the energy in the room was somber. No one had even spoken in the last five minutes. Mr. Shu looked like he wanted to say something but he sat slumped on the piano bench like a deflated tire.

"I told him not to get near her!" Finn broke the silence angrily. "But no! He never listens to me."

Santana stiffened against Brittany and Mr. Shu straightened but kept quiet.

"Yeah." Mercedes agreed, the hurt evident in her voice. "I thought she learned her lesson. You guys didn't hear her when she stayed with me. She was so repentant. I don't get it."

"Yeah well evidently all she has to do is look at a Puckerman and bam! Babygate." Kurt sounded resigned and bored. "I don't think we can survive another babygate fiasco."

"Let them deal with it." Finn spat.

"You guys are so stupid!" Santana growled, jumping to her feet and sending the chair flying. Brittany squeaked beside her. "She's not pregnant you morons."

"Santana that's enough." Mr. Shu finally came back to life, standing up and moving towards her.

"No. Mr. Shu. I don't care if Q hates me for this." She looked defiantly at him. Rachel was glad she wasn't on the receiving end of that glare.

"It's not your place to tell. Now sit down and we will discuss sectionals." Mr. Shu motioned towards her seat.

"She's not pregnant. She's blind you idiots." Mr. Shu's hand dropped mid-motion. "And evidently so are we! I'm outta here."

Chaos erupted in the choir room in Santana's wake but Mr. Shu confirmed Santana's outburst and relayed what Judy told him.

Now, a week later and Quinn still hadn't made it back to school, Rachel thought maybe Santana was right. They were all blind.

The piano music she'd been swaying to changed back to angry. It reminded Rachel why she was standing outside Quinn's home in the first place.

The day after 'the Jacob Incident', Sam and Puck came back to Glee, stating that Quinn was fine, though they shared a look that spoke differently, and she was at her specialist in Cleveland. They didn't provide any more information than that and Mr. Shu changed the subject to sectionals.

That was how she found herself standing in front of Quinn's door with a pile of sheet music in her hand. She reached out and touched the doorbell, the piano paused for a moment before it picked up again. Rachel was growing curious now as Quinn played the same section of music over and over yet slightly different.

"Coming!" There was a clicking sound from behind the door as if someone was unlocking it. The door swung open and the most amazing smell drifted out past Mrs. Fabray who was wiping her hands on an apron.

Rachel had only seen the woman one other time, at Regionals last year, but she looked just as impressive in a pair of black slacks, red blouse and apron. Even though she looked like she rushed to the door and had obviously been cooking, not a hair was out of place wrapped up in a tight bun.

She looked older though and not just a year older but the kind of older that comes from the soul being beaten down one to many times.

"Hi! I have some things for Quinn." Rachel glanced over Mrs. Fabray's shoulder, the foyer was impressively large.

Mrs. Fabray frowned at the petite girl, trying to come up with a name but couldn't. "Oh, Quinn didn't mention anyone stopping by. Please come in." She held the door open and stepped to the side.

Rachel glanced at her watch as she stepped across the threshold. She still had at least hour to get in and out before Sam came home.

Mrs. Fabray stopped at a cross section of hallway, one side led to a large kitchen and the other looked to be a living room with a set of closed double doors in one corner.

"Quinnie is just through the family room and in the study." She motioned with a perfectly pedicured hand. When Rachel nodded, Mrs. Fabray smiled, then returned to the kitchen.

Rachel wandered slowly through family room. The walls were painted a light beige color and the carpet was a slightly darker beige. For a house with four kids, two of them under ten, the carpet was void of stains which Rachel thought was really remarkable. The furniture, dark brown leather couches and recliners, occupied the edges of the room. Two heavy leather arm chairs sat in front of the fireplace. The room barely looked lived in, it was clean of normal everyday clutter, but the wear patterns on the furniture told a different story.

Rachel gravitated quietly over to the mantel above the fireplace. It was littered with framed photos to the point that Rachel didn't think any more would fit on it. Ithey were a conglomeration of the Fabray's and the Evan's families.

She smiled at the photo of a very young Quinn sitting on an older woman's lap in front of a piano that had seen many years, maybe decades, of use. An equally young Sam sat beside her squished on the bench. All three had huge smiles on their faces and laughter in their eyes.

Rachel glanced back at the closed double-doors, Quinn was still playing that same section over and over again. What she was doing was wrong, snooping through Quinn's family memories, but she couldn't help it. Quinn was completely closed off to letting people see her personal side. Maybe that was why everything that happened in the last week came as such a shock.

She lightly fingered, a candid photo of Quinn, maybe five or six, playing the piano, her tongue barely sticking out between pursed lips, her brow furrowed in concentration and her hands were nothing but a blur of flesh color. What struck Rachel speechless was the pure laughter and joy lighting up Quinn's hazel eyes. Rarely, if ever, had she seen that look in Quinn's eyes.

She smiled at a photo taken recently of Quinn under a pileup of the younger Evan's kids evidently engaged in a tickle war and a photo of Quinn sitting Indian style with Stacy in her lap, her head resting on Quinn's shoulder. Quinn looked peaceful in the second photo and happy in the first. Rachel let out a breath, glad that there was at least some fun in Quinn's recent life.

There were photos of the family in front of an old farmhouse, a teenager scowling at Quinn as Quinn splashed in a puddle, water flying everywhere. The teenager could have been Quinn if it weren't for little details, blue eyes instead of hazel and curly blonde hair instead of straight. She was a lot taller, maybe 5'8 and not as thin as Quinn even when she had gain weight with her pregnancy, baby bump not included. There were photos of Sam and his siblings in front of the house. From appearances, at least Quinn's early childhood was filled with love and laughter.

Her gaze flickered to the back row of photos hidden behind the rest. She picked up the furthest one to the left. It was taken at what appeared to be a family reunion as Rachel could make out common facial features in many of of the indivuals standing in a group. A very young Quinn and Sam stood in front of their parents, hamming it up for the camera, at the front of the group. Someone wrote 1998 in the corner. Quinn and Sam would have been four.

Silently she put it back picking up the next. Another family reunion. 1999 was written in the corner. Her eyes searched for Quinn as she and Sam weren't in the center. Rachel gasped, a small 'oh' forming in her throat. She swallowed it down. Sam stood beside Quinn on one end of the group. She was sitting in a wheelchair in shorts and a t-shirt, clear braces on her lower legs disappearing into brand new tennis shoes, her hair pulled up in a ponytail with braids in the front. She wasn't smiling and neither was Sam. In fact neither were Quinn or Sam's parents smiling. They all looked immensely tired. Rachel thought back to what Mr. Shu told them in Glee about Quinn's illness. This must have been taken shortly after she became sick. Quinn looked sick in it too. Her eyes were sunken deep into her face. Dark circles stood out so immensely against paper thin skin that her eyes looked bruised. Her cheekbones were too prominent, though Rachel still thought she was the prettiest person in the photo. It was obvious that she'd been sick for a really long time or lost a lot of weight quickly, probably both. Quinn was looking at the camera but not directly, her gaze slightly off with a somewhat blank look in her eyes. Rachel recognized the look as one she saw almost everyday from Quinn.

Tucked behind that photo was a professional portrait with Quinn and Sam in red cap and gowns. Sam stood beside Quinn in her wheelchair, holding two 'diploma rolls'. Kindergarten Graduation. May 4, 1999 was written in the corner.

Rachel was starting to feel immensely guilty for intruding on this part of Quinn's life but curiosity took over and she moved onto the next frame.

2000. They would have been six. They were off to the side again. Quinn was supported by a walker, the kind that rolled behind you instead of in front. Someone had painted the legs of bright pink. Neon pink and white streamers hung from the horizontal bars. Rachel couldn't make out Quinn's face as her head was turned towards Sam. He had his tongue stuck out at her with his eyes crossed and his fingers in his ears. From what she could tell Quinn looked healthier. At least her skin had lost its transparency and now had a slight tan.

The next photo was 2001. Seven years old. Again Sam was beside her at the left of the group. Those two must have been inseparable growing up, Rachel thought. He had one arm looped around Quinn's shoulders. She stood with pink forearm crutches. Rachel could tell Quinn's sense of style was emerging in the summer dress she wore, her hair hanging in a million curls, blue Mary Jane flats on her feet. Rachel wondered about the clear leg braces on Quinn's lower legs. In the three years Quinn had lived in Lima, Rachel never noticed Quinn with anything on. She sure was a good dancer, even if at times she was really clumsy. Was it due to the blindness or whatever the issue was with Quinn's legs? Rachel couldn't imagine not being able to see well and having to navigate with a walker or crutches. When she was five, she got a little too over zealous and tried to imitate one of the older dancers. She came down wrong, breaking her ankle. She'd been forced to use crutches for a couple weeks and then a walking cast. They were not easy and she could see just fine. Rachel's heart ached for Quinn.

She picked up the last photo on the mantel. In the neat handwriting that was on all the family reunion photos was written: July 5th, 2001. Make A Wish Grant. Quinn stood on the stage of Carnegie Hall dressed in a long black dress. Rachel could make out the reflection of the camera's flash off the crutches Quinn held. Pianist Marjorie Adams and Violinist Yo-Yo Ma stood behind her, each with a hand on her shoulders. Next to her stood Sam with his mom, holding a baby with curly blonde hair. Judy Fabray stood next to Quinn beaming down at her.

Rachel noticed two things. One, Quinn looked sick again. In fact she had looked fairly healthy in the family reunion photo taken that same year but now she looked just as sick, if not sicker, than she did in the first family reunion photo Rachel looked at. The second thing Rachel noticed was a program held in Quinn's hand. Rachel turned the picture trying to get a better angle to read the signature on it.

_Lucy,_

_Live in a dreamer's world of ivory keys and amazing dreams, unconcerned with the hurt around you. _

_Never give up on your dream to perform professionally under the big lights of Carnegie Hall._

_Marjorie Adams and Yo-Yo Ma_

Rachel sucked in a shaky breath. Quinn was sick enough that Make A Wish sent her to New York City? She knew the organization granted the wishes of children with life threatening illness. Was Quinn still that sick? Mr. Shu hadn't said anything about Quinn's condition being terminal. Quinn's dream is to perform in Carnegie Hall?

A loud banging of a screen door in the hallway made Rachel jump, children's laughter drifted into the family room followed by the thudding of footsteps climbing up stairs and pounding overhead. The piano came to an abrupt halt after an obviously wrong note was struck. She thought she heard Quinn mumble something through the doors before the clanging of multiple keys being pressed all at once had Rachel clutching her chest in surprise. She could imagine Quinn getting mad and slamming her hands against the keys.

How long had she been standing there? A quick glance at her watch told her only five minutes had passed. The piano started up again and Rachel squared her shoulders, clutching the sheet music tighter.

Quinn paused for a fraction of a second, her fingers suspended weightlessly above the ivory's, when the door squeeked open. It had been several minutes since the doorbell rang but she couldn't tell you how long, too immersed in her music to pay attention to the ticks of the antique clock in the room.

Lazily she rolled her head towards the doorway, prepared to tell Stacy she could watch after dinner, but the shadowy figure standing in the contrast of the doorway separating dark study from light family room was too tall to be Stacy but was too short to be her mom.

She turned back to the keys working on another stanza of 'her song'. She really needed to name it soon. Calling it 'her song' or 'the piece' was getting tedious.

"You know it's impolite to walk into a room with a blind person and not say anything." Her voice held sarcasm and the figure shuffled, stepping further into the room. Quinn couldn't help it. The anxiety drugs the doctors prescribed made he either so void of emotion that she couldn't give a damn or so enraged that it might have been a blessing she couldn't see well.

"It's me R-Rachel."

Rachel moved into the room fully. Quinn sat at a white Grand Piano. It contrasted greatly against the rich mahogany walls of the large room.

Bookcases lined one wall and two arm chairs, identical to the ones in the family room, rested in front of another fireplace. This time a fancy clock took up the mantel instead of frame pictures. Beige carpet ran throughout this room as well. Rachel wondered if it ran throughout the whole house.

Beside Quinn, within easy reach, was a folding table. The largest sheet of blank sheet music Rachel had ever seen rested on the table underneath what looked like a magnifier on legs. As Rachel crept closer she could see that music notes had been drawn on the it with a thick sharpie. Some of the notes had been scribbled out. Quinn's handwriting in a thinner sharpie littered the page. Rachel saw several more sheets full of music score and personal notes laid out on the table.

Quinn rolled her head slowly back to the piano keys in front of her when Rachel walked closer. Finally she hit the note she wanted and turned to the card table, grabbing the marker and began filling in the correct notes on the music staff.

"W-what are you doing?" Rachel sounded nervous. Quinn arched her eyebrow. It should have been obvious what she was doing.

"I could ask you the same. The doorbell rang several minutes ago." Finished she recapped the marker and started playing the line of music she just composed again. Satisfied for now, she moved on to the next stanza.

"Oh, well, I um... I was looking at your photos."

Quinn narrowed her eyes when Rachel scooted around the card table to stand up against the piano, something crinkling in her hand. She couldn't make out what. She knew Rachel could be bossy and nosy but she wouldn't have expected her to go that far. Quinn really didn't care, she had no clue which photos exactly were on the mantel, but it was the principle of it.

"Oh-kay..." Quinn's eyebrow arched higher. "Why?"

Rachel ignored the question and held out the sheet music for Quinn to take. Quinn glanced in her direction. It was paper crinkling.

"Mr. Shu gave us the requirements for sectionals. We need to do a medley of songs by the same artist and at least one of them has to relate to making the world a better place. He broke us down to teams. Finn, Santana, Brittany, Mercedes, Mike and Kurt are doing the Beetles. You, Me, Blaine, Sam, Tina, Puck and Artie have Michael Jackson. We have to prepare to perform the songs next week and then Mr. Shu will pick the winner." Rachel was bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Anyway, we picked out three songs and I wan't to see if you can play them." Rachel noticed the slight flinch when she said 'see'. She rattled the papers, moving them closer to Quinn's hands.

Quinn's fingers stilled. She looked up at Rachel. "I can't read that."

Rachel was confused. Obviously Quinn knew how to read sheet music after all she had been in the middle of composing what sounded like a very complicated piano piece. She caught sight of the magnifier out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh, here." She scooted it under the lense with a satisfied smile.

Quinn felt annoyed and slightly trapped by Rachel's presence in her sanctuary. With a sigh Quinn turned from the piano. Nope, the print was too small and not dark enough. Maybe with the CCTV setup in Mr. Kennedy's room she would have been able to make out the type from the background but not with her puny magnifier that only enlarge whatever was underneath it two times its actual size.

"Still can't see it." Why wasn't she getting mad? She'd been snapping at everyone all week and now that Rachel Berry was standing there she felt.. blank.

Rachel snatched the music back and placed it on the edge of the piano, part of it hanging over the keys so Quinn could find it. "How do you, um, I've heard you play modern songs before." Rachel's hand waved hopelessly in the air as she struggled to not stick her foot in her mouth again.

Quinn nodded towards the couch. "Grab my iPad. What songs are you doing?"

Rachel bounced with excitement. "We are starting with ABC with everyone, then moving to Man in the Mirror which will be an all guys number and finished with Heal the World."

Quinn could picture the ABC and Man in the Mirror numbers in her head. She could see how that would work for a show choir piece. Heal the world was different. Though she never played any of the songs before it wouldn't be an issue to learn them but she couldn't imagine a dance routine to match it.

"How does that fit in with show choir besides obviously making the world a better place."

"We'll, it will be a solo sung by me of course."

"Of course. But... Backup dancers?"

"Do you not think you can play them?" Rachel was stalling. Quinn currently was being civil and she knew the moment she revealed ther plan for the last song the moment of peace would be gone.

"I can play them. Besides you singing, what's the plan?" Rules allowed solo's but the bulk of the group still needed to be on stage contributing. Rachel was stalling. Quinn might be blind but she definitely wasn't daft.

"Artie showed us the photos you took. They are quiet impressive."

Mr. Kennedy, for his Life Skills class also known as hold all the kids with physical disabilities hostage for one hour every morning and harp on them about recognizing their strengths and weaknesses class, assigned them a semester long project to present their partner's disability in an abstract way. She sat on Artie's lap on day, snapping random photos with his camera. They really were random as she just aimed and clicked her way through the day. Artie assured her they were really spectacular and definitely depicted what he went through viewing the world from waist high. Quinn didn't like where Rachel was going with this.

"And he showed us his animation. We love it and Britt had this great idea of everyone dressed in black in front of a giant backlit screen. It'll have the same effect." Artie had pulled her into Mr. Kennedy's room one day right before Glee and showed her his animation that he had hooked up to one of the large screens she used on a daily basis. The animation started with a small black dot that grew until it covered the whole screen, then it reversed until the whole screen was became white as the dot shrunk, then it then it morphed into trees swaying in an unseen wind. The black dot goes through a whole series, morphing from one object to the next before growing again until the whole screen was black. Artie spent many hours talking to her about her opinions and views on everything from the wars going and politics surrounding that to her view of literature and philosophy. It was refreshing to talk to someone on that intellectual level.

Something stirred deep inside. Her ears burned brightly and she felt the heat against her cheeks. Grabbing the sheet music off the piano, she flung it at Rachel. Rachel stepped back as paper flew past her head with a startled look at Quinn. Man Quinn had good aim.

"Dammit Rachel! Just get the fuck out!" There was the anger fueled on by the papers fluttering uselessly to the ground around them. She opened her mouth ready to tell Rachel how horrible an idea it was. That was something private done only to pleased Mr. Kennedy because she had no choice in the matter.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray, don't you dare use that language in this house. Now apologize to your friend and pick up those papers." She hadn't heard the door squeak or her mother's footsteps as she entered the room, she'd been so caught up in arguing with Rachel, that her abnormally sensitive hearing didn't pick up the sounds. Her head jerked in the direction her mother's voice came from.

"Really that's alright Mrs. Fabray." Rachel moved away from the piano towards the door.

"Nonsense. There's no reason for Quinn to talk to her friends like that."

Quinn glared in her mother's direction before turning to Rachel. "I'm sorry alright. I'm just..." She trailed off, her hand waving in the air.

"It's alright Quinn. Apology accepted." She started to move towards the sheet music that was scattered all over the floor. Judy stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm but she looked exasperated.

"Quinn pick up those papers you threw. We've had this conversation before about you throwing things."

Quinn's repentant look turned angry in less than a heartbeat. Rachel opened her mouth to protest that she would pick them up but was silenced with a look.

Quinn glared at her mother. There was no way she would be able to see the paper on the beige carpet without crawling around on her hands and knees. And she was not going to crawl around like the loser she was in front of Rachel Berry. Their silence was unnerving.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray! Don't make me ground you from that piano." Judy closed her eyes. She couldn't dare to see Quinn's reaction. She hated threatening to take away the one thing that was bringing Quinn joy recently. But this is what Quinn does and they'd been fighting this fight since she was six. Whenever Quinn felt threatened by her disease, and overwhelmed she threw things, specifically paper, books, whatever object she was frustrated with. There was a closet full of books right above their heads to testify to it.

Rachel was shocked at the threat. Really it was just a bunch of sheet music and Sam had warned her that Quinn was in no mood to have visitors. Mother and daughter stared at each other.

"I'm serious Quinn."

Something in Mrs. Fabray's voice must have struck Quinn. Rachel watched her face fall and Quinn swallowed hard.

"Yes Ma'am."

It hurt watching Quinn slowly drop to her knees near the piano, her face blushed a deep red, hands sweeping and patting the ground. The sigh Quinn let out matched the one her mom made next to Rachel. Rachel looked between Mrs. Fabray and Quinn. The older Fabray looked about ready to cry watching her daughter. Quinn started scowling as her hands continued to only connect with the carpet.

Finally Rachel couldn't take it when Quinn's hands came within inches of a page then would move off in the other direction. She had to be so humiliated. Rachel felt humiliated for Quinn. She rushed forward, snatching up the papers quickly and thrust them into Quinn's hands.

With a mumbled thanks, Quinn accepted the papers and placed them at the edge of the piano bench. Rachel simply nodded. It wasn't a big deal and she wasn't going to make Quinn feel worse.

"No problem."

"What's going on here?" They both jumped at Sam's angry voice.

Rachel slumped slightly and Quinn noticed. She cleared her throat.

"Ah Rachel was just getting me up to date on sectionals."

"Okay." He looked between the two. Something happened in this room. Quinn was on her knees feeling around and Rachel squatted next to her plucking sheet music from the carpet. Hadn't he told Rachel not to bug Quinn? Sam distinctly remembered yelling at her when she brought it up for the hundredth time that Quinn needed to practice so they could win the competition. Quinn had more pressing matters on her mind but evidently Sam hadn't made it clear enough.

"I accidentally knocked over the music." Judy guffawed next to him and Quinn blushed. Sam could figure out what happened.

"Sam, go get your brother and sister. Dinner is almost ready." Judy turned on her heal, leaving the three teenagers alone.

After a moment and a dirty look at Rachel, Sam turned to gather Stacy and Stevie before they pounded through the floor and landed on Quinn's new very expensive piano.

Rachel for her part, looked down at the ground slightly ashamed for not listening to Sam. Quinn's mood had swung from angry back to indifferent. She sat on the floor, leaning against the piano, one leg stretched out and one leg bent against her chest, her chin resting on it. She looked a million miles away but when Rachel moved slightly Quinn's head snapped around. Even though her gaze missed Rachel, Rachel could see the fire of humiliation in Quinn's cheeks.

"Just go Rachel." Quinn sounded so broken, worse than when she was at her most down while pregnant.

"Okay." Rachel pushed the wad of papers into Quinn's hand. "Do you, um, need any help?" She asked motioning towards the door.

Quin frowned for a moment, not being able to tell what Rachel was pointing at. She heard her cousins pounding down the steps complaining of being hungry and realized Rachel must be asking if she needed help getting into the other room.

Her cheeks flushed deeper and she lowered her head until her forehead rested on her knees. "Just go, please." She couldn't bring her self to look towards Rachel.

**TBC**

AN: Please check out the graphic I made to go along with this story. (Take away the spaces. Link also found in my profile.)  
rizzlescalzonafic . tumblr image/ 56990341641

The message written to Quinn is an adaptation to this quotation: "He lived in a dreamer's world of ivory keys and messy shirts, unconcerned with the people around him." - Claire Legrand, The Cavendish Home for Boys and Girls. Marjorie Adams is a fictional pianist. Yo-Yo Ma is obviously very real. I have no idea if there was a concert on July 5, 2001 at Carnegie Hall featuring him. If there was, that's a unique coincidence.

While Devic's disease is not life threatening per se unless someone developers respitory distress, the doctors didn't have a diagnosis for what was going on with Quinn until she was 9. All anyone knew was that she kept getting sicker and then she would get better followed by being sick again, each time loosing more functioning. At this point with Quinn continually having relapses and no diagnosis to go on, it is conceivable that they might have felt her life expectancy to be shortened.

Gogolax: Relapsing. The stories I've read from those individuals with the disease indicate that no two people are effected the same and that even no two relapses are the same. Some people lose function immediately and gain some back after a period of time. Some people lose function over a long period of time and never gain it back. Some people lose function immediately and never gain it back and so forth. It seemed like a lot of the articles where children had the disease involved them getting very sick as well though that is rare but not unheard of. That being said, I'm not a doctor and I don't know anyone personally with this disease, therefore I'm will probably take so fictional liberties. Kudos for researching it! As far as Quinn's symptoms... I haven't decided completely yet. I'm letting the story develop at its own pace so we'll find out together.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

please go to my profile and copy the link to my story graphic. Please let me know what you think! That's my first attempt at anything with photoshop.

**Chapter 14**

Quinn came back to school on a Friday, one week and two days, after her breakdown. Instead of first period, Principle Figgins held an assembly in the gym. She hadn't been in the gym since last school year, when she could see better. She was following Artie into the gym, one hand lightly resting on the handles at the back of his wheelchair, some of the Glee Club who didn't have early morning sports practice met her at the schools front door with a lot of tears. Rachel stayed quiet and near the back of the group. The sheer loudness of the gym, and hundreds of voices disoriented her to the point that she couldn't figure out which direction her friends were. Plus she knew the gym was dark, even with its fluorescent lights way up in the high ceiling, but she didn't realize it was that dark. Artie dissappeared even though her hand still lightly touched his chair. The words of Dr. Ortez just days ago came crashing back.

_"Quinn." Dr. Ortez walked into the hospital room with a stack of paperwork in his hands. He checked the monitors above his patients bed. After working with Quinn Fabray for almost 8 years now, he was not having this conversation with her unless she was tethered to the bed, hooked up to IV's administering the steroids needed to try to keep her in remission._

_He shared a look with Judy. Privately they'd had this discussion just hours before. He turned towards a teenager with a Mohawk he'd never seen before. Quinn's hand was sandwiched between his hands, a look that could only be described as admiration in the teenager's eyes._

_"I don't think we've met before." He held out his hand and was met with a strong handshake. He'd only seen one other kid with his patient before, her cousin Sam. Secretly he was pleased that Quinn was getting support beyond her family._

_"Noah."_

_"Puck." The teenagers spoke at the same time and then blushed in unison._

_"I'm Noah Puckerman Doc. So..." Puck motioned to the bed._

_Dr. Ortez looked to Judy silently asking permission. She nodded and he hooked a chair with his foot pulling it closer to the bed and sat down._

_Quinn followed the sound. The anxiety meds that were prescribed worked a little too well. Her doctor didn't sit at her bedside unless he was about to drop a bomb on her. Before this past week she would have been fighting down the tightness in her chest. Instead she simply sighed, resigned to hear what he was going to say._

_"Your MRI looks good. I don't see any new lesions. Have you had any new symptoms in your arms and legs?"_

_"No."_

_He hummed beside her, waiting her out._

_"Really, just the same in my left leg."_

_"Hmm." Noah watched the doctor untuck Quinn's leg from the warmth of the blanket. She shuddered against the cool air on her skin. Puck squeezed her hand tighter. The doctor pulled out a wicked looking needle thing. It looked painful to Puck but he promised Mrs. Fabray he would stay out of the way and not interfere._

_"Okay. I'm going to start now." The doctor spoke and waited for Quinn to nod before he poked the needle in various spots on her legs._

_Puck was alternating between watching the doctor and Quinn. She seemed relaxed._

_"That fine?"_

_"Yes," she breathed out._

_"Okay, good." The doctor tucked her legs back in before settling on the seat beside her._

_"Now," his voice took a serious tone and Quinn picked up the sound of his lab coat rustling as he turned his head. Probably to share a look with her mom. Puck tightened his grip on her hand. She was thankful that he was here with her._

_"Have you experienced any increased vision loss?"_

_She was silent. That's all the answer Dr. Ortez needed. He waited her out. After 8 years of interaction, he knew that with time she would crack and spill. She let out a sigh, her bangs puffing in the air, and he smiled. He didn't take pleasure in her pain. The exact opposite. It frustrated him to no end that this horrible illness had no cure. But, Quinn Fabray, in all her unpredictablenes, was very predictable when it came to this._

_"I can't see anything in dark rooms anymore." It was said in a whisper, if she verbalized it, it became real to everyone. If she kept it in, then only she shouldered the burden._

_He nodded in understanding. "Any light at all?"_

_She shook her head, swallowing hard. The room was too silent except for four distinct breathing patterns and the beeps of her heart monitor._

_"We'll, I'm not surprised, your optic nerves are very scarred." The chair squeeked beside her. Here it comes, she thought. They'd been having this conversation for the last couple years now._

_"Wait. Doc, I don't know much about this stuff but can't you just operate and remove the scar tissue?" Noah broke into the conversation, looking between Quinn, Judy and the doctor. All three were shaking their heads no._

_"I'm afraid not, the scarring is too severe and the nerves are too fragile. If we went in we'd destroy the rest of Quinn's remaining sight."_

_Puck swallowed._

_"I know we've discussed you enrolling in O&M training this summer. I think we need to move that time frame up. You can start it in Lima, I've provided your mother with the names of recommended trainers and a contact with the Department of Vocational Rehab. This summer you can still go to Columbus for your intensive training."_

_"No."_

_"Quinn, tell me how you get around in dark rooms that you've never been in before? If someone isn't there with you, how do you function?" He kept his voice soothing, but not condescending. Never condescending. He cared for his patients. These kids, and they were kids even as teenagers, came to him lost and hurting. It was his duty as a doctor to provide the best care even if it meant pushing the proverbial buttons that would cause immediate hurt yet provide long term help._

_Quinn bit her lip._

Artie realized something happened because Quinn stopped walking. Puck was headed towards them from the guy's locker room all the way across the gym. People shoved passed them, bumping into her. She smiled weakly, forcing it. Really it was a grimace. She was blinking furiously then sighed and held herself stiffly against the wave of bodies.

Artie remembered what she said in one of his interviews about moving from light rooms to dark rooms causing the world to fade from her vision. Silently he backed his chair up slightly, pushing the handlebar harder into her hand. She whispered thank you and fell in step between the bars. It looked like she was pushing his chair.

Puck smiled gratefully at him as they approached.

"Hey babe." He called out loudly over the hum of the gym. Quinn turn toward him and he linked arms with her, pulling her into his side. She smiled and blushed when he kissed her cheek. A murmur broke through the gathering students and the Glee club formed a semi-circle, clearly stating that if you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us.

They sat on the first few rows. Principle Figgins spoke about bullying and peer pressure reiterating that bullying of any kind, physical or verbal would not be tolerated. Ms. Pillsbury spoke on what counseling services the school offered and the importance on asking for help before the pressure becomes to much. After all if Jonathon Matthews had asked for help dealing with the pressure then he would still be alive.

Quinn still had no clue who Jonathon Matthews was even after Artie explained that Jonathon had mild cerebral palsy and was pretty comfortable in his own skin but a lot of their peers made fun of him because of his speech impairment. Freshman year was too much. The boys father found him dead by his own hand.

Quinn still drew a blank. She was pretty adept at matching faces to their voice after living in a blurry world. Had she ever crossed Jonathon's path? Surely she would have rembered him. But, Jonathon remained a voiceless, faceless name to her. Oddly, she felt guilty about that.

After Miss Pillsbury's speech, the lights in the gym were lowered and they were showed a film on teen suicide on a big screen in the middle of the gym. Quinn drifted off bored with just listening to the words, her head on Puck's shoulder. By the time it was all over, Artie was holding his head in his hands. "Oh God. They just put a bullseye on our backs."

He was right, Quinn thought. As if being in Mr. Kennedy's first period class wasn't grounds enough for leaving them open to major slushy attacks and worse, this was definite grounds for retaliation by the jocks in the school. Did Figgins actually think this would help? And why, oh why, did they have to wait until the day she came back to school! She was toast... burnt, extra crispy toast.

"Yeah, you may have a bullseye Artie but I'm standing in the crosshairs." She dropped her head into her hands. After her meltdown she was suspect número uno for attack. Puck stiffened beside her, thinking the same thing.

The thing about all this, Quinn realized as she walked to lunch with Puck, was that she'd been incredibly stupid to fight her friends help before now. Other than sitting in third period AP Lit, she hadn't been alone all day. There was always one of her Glee friends with her at all time and she was never alone in the hallways.

More than once she'd heard Sam's laughter drifting through the hallways. He could do his thing now and not be tied down to her. She loved him, and besides Puck, there was no one else she'd rather spend time with but Quinn knew what a toll her illness had on him. She wasn't blind to that.

"There they are." Puck motioned over shoulder in the busy cafeteria. Why did she let him talk her into lunch with the group? She had a perfectly good pb&j sandwich in her backpack calling her name. He lead her over to the big windows and pulled out her chair with a flourish.

"A seat for my lady." His accent was horrible but she loved him for it as the table burst into laughter.

"Be right back." He pecked her cheek before heading towards the lunch line.

"Quinn, you and Puck are looking mighty comfortable." Mercedes teased, a sickening sweet tone lacing her words.

Quinn's ears turned bright red.

"Q-tips in LOOOOVVEE!" Santana wiggled her eyebrows causing Kurt to snicker.

"Look at her blush!"

"Okay," Quinn held up her hands to stop the teasing. "Her... is sitting right here and I don't know what this is between Puck and I... but, it's between Puck and I and only Puck and I. Period. End of story."

Her words booked no arguments but the blushing was giving her away. She didn't know what was going on between them but it survived a meltdown and hospital induced temper tantrum.

It felt good. No. It felt great, amazing, the hills are alive with the sound of music! That scared her. She was sick. She was a liability. No one should invest there love completely in her especially someone their age.

She didn't know what her future held. No matter how many times she told Puck to not get too attached, that She couldn't be who he needed her to be, he would simply kiss her on her forehead and tell her she was perfect. Right now the hills were definitely alive with the sound of music and this time, she wasn't going to over-analyze that.

"I'm impressed." Sam whispered to Puck.

"I didn't give her a choice." Puck glanced towards the table in the far corner, filled with the Glee Club including Quinn. Up until this very moment, none of them had managed to get Quinn to eat in the cafeteria. She would always disappear somewhere for the lunch hour.

Sam now sounded impressed. "And she didn't rip your head off?" He asked incredulously.

"Well, the Puckster's pretty immune to Quinn's mood swings but she's here now."

People were starting at her. She could feel their eyes scorching the back of her head. Quinn hated that sixth sense of hers. She tapped her foot nervously waiting for Puck and Sam to make their way back from the lunch line.

She fought the urge to twiddle her thumbs, wishing she hadn't let Puck talk her into eating lunch with them. She'd rather be in the auditorium with Mr. Shu tripping over her own feet at the extra dance practice she'd insisted on just to keep up with the others. Trying to remember lyrics, stay in tempo, remembering hand and arm positions, and counting steps while trying to look natural and not like she'd swallowed a lump of coal wasn't easy. It left her mentally exhausted.

She was pretty sure Santana was shooting death glares at the rest of the cafeteria. They weren't sitting at the same table the group claimed as their own last year. This one was right in front of the floor to ceiling windows on one side of the cafeteria. The sun shining warmed Quinn's face. Quinn was thankful that someone, probably Puck or Sam, thought that through. The extra light helped more than she wanted to admit.

She heard Puck coming, he and Sam were laughing at something. Quinn smiled and turned her head in anticipation.

"Hey babe." Puck sat their trays on the tables. Quinn released a breath, relaxing slightly. He leaned in close, brushing her hair behind her ear. She blushed again.

"Got you veggie sticks, an apple and a turkey and bacon wrap." He whispered into her ear, dropping the napkins in her lap. "Water bottle is left of the tray."

In that moment she loved Puck. It looked like he was kissing her ear yet he was enabling her not to make a fool of herself. She could make out the dark red tray but the items on the tray and water bottle were lost to her.

"Mr. Tubbington had coatracks once. His eyes were all cloudy. Probably to hide the coatracks. Why would anyone need coatracks in their eyes? But your eyes don't look like his." Brittany sounded so serious Quinn couldn't help the laughed that escaped.

"Cataracts Britt, not coat racks." Santana squeezed the blonde, relieved that Quinn was laughing.

"That's a different kind of blindness." Quinn supplied, chewing on her apple.

"Oh well. You don't look blind."

"Britt." Santana warned but Quinn heard the love in her voice. They were bound to be curious about this and she was very thankful they weren't walking on eggshells around her. She would rather they ask questions instead of dealing with the giant Quinn sized elephant in the room.

"It's okay San. I can still see some but I'm considered legally blind." Puck squeezed her hand under the table. People's reactions were usually one of two: discomfort or pity. Both made her uncomfortable and she was about to drop a bombshell on them. She was fairly certain that most of them had no clue how bad it was. She was finding that it was easier to be blind than to pretend not to be blind.

"Like I can see your outlines in the cafeteria because of the big windows. I know that Santana and Brittany are on the end, Kurt and Blaine are next to them and Merceds is directly in front of me but that's because I've memorized what your shape looks like. If someone were to walk up right now I probably wouldn't know who they are unless they spoke."

It was humiliating, walking down the hallways, not being able to see people's faces, she could hear them talking and sometime see them waving but most of the time unless they said her name, she had no clue if they were talking to her or someone behind her. How many times had she unknowingly been almost elbowed in the nose in the hallways?

Most of the time she looked bored or pretended to be in her own little world, but in reality, she was putting thousands of pieces to a puzzle together in her mind every second of the day. She'd heard the snidecomments on her intelligence the halls. Quinn was fairly certain most of the student body had no clue how smart she was. She'd spent a lot of time in hospitals as a kid and before her eyesight got bad enough, reading was pleasurable. Her mother couldn't get over her reading dictionary's and encyclopedia's for fun. She couldn't help that she'd always marched to a slightly different drummer. That's what made her uniquely Quinn.

Rachel still felt ashamed for her actions and snooping in Quinn's house. Quinn's mood swings seemed better, maybe Rachel hadn't caused too much damage. She seemed to be taking the questions in stride.

"I can see the tray, my contacts help with the edges of objects," she trailed her fingers along the edge of the tray until her hand touched the cold water bottle. "I only know this is here because Puck told me."

"Are you going to get one of those dogs or walk with a stick?" Evidently she sparked Brittany's curiosity because everyone else was quiet minus a few almost inaudiable oh's.

"I'm allergic to dogs so that's a no." They made her break out in hives.

"Oh, good. Mr. Tubbington is too so we wouldn't be able to hang at my place anymore." Brittany sounded pleased.

Quinn smiled towards Britt, but her throat felt super dry and she swallowed hard.

"I have to go to Columbus this summer for training. I'll probably need the cane next year." She needed it now but that wasn't happening. She couldn't understand how the cane was going to help do anything but make people pissed at her for whacking them in the shins. She still wouldn't be able to see them. The cane would brand her forever as different from her peers. So the cane could wait until school was out. Then she'd have all summer to work up the courage to use it.

Puck squeezed her hand hard. They'd fought hard about it after Dr. Ortez left her hospital room. She felt cornered, like Puck and her mom had ganged up on her and finally, she shut down, closed her eyes and pretended to sleep until she actually did fall asleep. Neither mentioned it since.

What Quinn couldn't see was how her words impacted her friends. Mercedes lowered her gaze. Quinn lived with her for almost two whole months. Even if things weren't as bad, she should have noticed something?

Kurt felt bad for her, they never really hung out and the whole babygate thing was horrible, but he couldn't imagine living without his sight.

What the others didn't know was that Quinn and Mr. Shuester were hatching a plan for the others to experience Quinn's world. His experiment last year with the wheelchairs worked. But, both agreed now wasn't the time.

Soon though, Quinn smiled at that. Someone was going to fall off the stage and it wasn't going to be her.

TBC

Please review! I live off your reviews. It's like oxygen. Must have reviews!


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 15**

"Are you still mad at your mom?" Sam nudged Quinn with his hip. They were standing in their kitchen with Puck. She'd enlisted the guys help to make Stacy's birthday cupcakes. She couldn't say no when her little cousin begged her last night to bake her cupcakes. His little sister wouldn't accept anyone but Quinn doing it. Stacy worshipped the ground she walked on.

"Of course I'm still mad. Wouldn't you be?" She said over her shoulder while riffling through the cookbooks.

No he wouldn't be, Sam thought, his mother hadn't been influenced by the man he was loath to call Uncle Russell. His mother's brother was a vile man. Sam held zero love in his heart for him. His mother wouldn't do what Aunt Judy had done to Quinn with Rachel watching. Mary Evans would have waited until Rachel was gone and then helped him pick up the papers.

"Of course I would be. You have every right to be mad." He said instead.

"Ah hah." Her fingers connected with the fragile cover of the family cookbook. She held it up to Sam.

"That's it." He took it from her and set the falling apart book on the dark marble counter top. The recipe book, it's spine falling off on one edge, was passed down through his Nana Angela's family for generations to the first born family. That's how his Aunt Judy came into possession. Obviously Uncle Russell wanted nothing to do with his late mother either. The pages were old and faded to a sepia brown. Generations upon generation after the first owner contributed by sticking sheets of paper and later index cards full of hastily written personal recipes into it. Why Quinn's sister refused the book, he didn't know, but it didn't surprise him. Frannie had always been a mystery to him. The fact that she was 8 years older than them didn't help.

"There should be an index card for Nana Angela's Devine Chocolate Chip Cupcakes on it."

"Do four and five year olds really need devine cupcakes?" Puck spoke up from where he was leaning against the cabinets. He wasn't sure how he'd gotten roped into this baking session. All he knew was that there was no school due to parent teacher conferences and he and Sam were deep in a battle on the X-Box early that morning when Quinn came through carrying grocery bags followed by Mrs. Evans carrying more bags. They dutifully climbed to their feet at Mrs. Evans request to carry in the rest of the bags from the car. Once Quinn had them in the kitchen she guilt tripped them into helping her.

Quinn snickered. "With you two helping me I'm hoping for edible."

"I could always make my Puckerman special cupcakes." He waggled his eyebrows but kept his voice dead serious.

The look on her face was hillarious. Her eyebrows were arched so high they disappeared beneath blonde bangs, her eyes wide open and her mouth forming the perfect O. Puck fought hard to keep from cracking up. Teasing her was so much better than talking about Mrs. Fabray's stupidity when it came to Quinn.

"Noah Puckerman, you are not going to drug thirty kindergartner's." She scolded, her hands on her hips.

He couldn't help it, Puck lost it. The belly laugh came from deep within. Her eyes widened farther. Sam lost it next to them, laughing at Quinn's expression too. He really didn't want to know what they were referring to but that was okay. What he didn't know couldn't be used against him in a court of law. Watching Puck tease Quinn was a riot.

"You!" She sputtered. "You're messing with my head again."

"It's a nicely shaped head to mess with." He looped an arm around her waist, pulling her to him.

"Nicely shaped head!" She playfully struggled against his arm, then swatted him lightly when he didn't let her go. She loved this Puck, the one who wasn't caught up in trying to be the bad boy, the Puck who wasn't afraid to giggle like a girl and spout romantic nothing's in her ear.

Sam held up the card. "Finally! You two need to get a room." He thought about that for a moment. "On second thought... don't. Let's get a move on."

Quinn fingered the card, feeling the indents made by her Grandma's handwriting. She missed being able to see the intricate loops and flourishes that were unique to her Nana Angela. Her closet was full of books filled with notes written in that same handwriting.

Puck's grip tightened for a second before he released her and grabbed the recipe from Sam. Slowly, diligently they started in. Puck reading the recipe and Sam doing the bulk of the work.

The baking session ran smoothly until the boys got in an argument on what a level cup meant. Quinn became convinced they were screwing with her again. Slightly exasperated she elbowed Sam out of the way feeling for the measuring cup. Her fingers connected with the cold metal and she patted the chocolate powder on top. She blew out a breath at the rounded measuring cup.

"This..." She grabbed the knife and scraped its backside against the metal, knocking excess flour off onto the countertop. "is a LEVEL measuring cup." She held out the cup until Sam took it from her. She moved back the baking sheets she was filling with My Little Pony paper linings.

"You two are such eggheads. Didn't you pay attention in any math class?" Love laced her voice and she smirked.

Puck glanced up at her, from the recipe card. What was it with her calling him egghead while baking? Laughter filled his eyes. He looked around the counter, a sinister thought forming.

Sam wasn't sure what was going on. Quinn just called them eggheads and Puck stopped looking at the recipe, a dreamy look crossing his face. Puck picked up the old recipe booked and moved it to the far counter in the room. Sam gave him a weird look and Quinn stilled in the laborious task of getting ungodly bright pink cupcake linings to stay in place and turned towards the sound, her brow furrowing.

Sam stepped back when Puck picked up an egg, lightly tossing it slightly to test its weight. He moved behind Quinn and motioned Sam to be quiet with a raised finger to his lip. Quinn was lost in her task at hand.

The egg came down in a gooey mess, the yellow yoke sliding down her forehead, clipping her nose before dropping with a loud 'clop' on the counter top.

She froze. Her fingers gripping the paper lining. Her mouth opening and closing like a caught fish while her mind raced to put two and two together.

Puck snickered. Sam looked on waiting for the Quinn sized explosion to blow through La Casa de Fabray.

"Oh, no you didn't." She turned and tossed the paper at him.

His snickering turned to laughter. A puff of powder hit her face causing her to sneeze.

"That's it!" She reached out, her hand connecting with the mixing bowl and tossed flour at the shadow backing away. Puck laughed and the food fight began in earnest. Quinn's shrieking laughter filled the kitchen.

Sam wisely stayed away watching them go back in forth like Olympic table tennis champions. It was hillarious and Quinn was pretty good at connecting. Chocolate chips bounced off Puck's head disappearing into the Mohawk.

"Hey!" He yelled, shaking his head and chips flew to all corners of the kitchen. He grabbed the large mixing bowl still mostly full with the double batch of flour and stepped forward to toss it over Quinn's head. His foot hit gooy egg coating the floor and he slipped, going down, the mixture flew into the air in a backwards arch, landing on the fallen Puck.

Sam dropped to his knees doubling over, laughing so hard he was pretty sure he busted a rib.

"Ah hem." A voice cleared their throat from the doorway.

The ingredient covered teenagers heads jerked towards the kitchen doorway. Sam tried to stiffle his laughter. He really tried to but failed miserably. Quinn turned from squinting at the doorway to glare at him. He was the only one not covered in ingredients. Of course he would find being caught funny. The glare turned to a smirk, then a giggle. It was funny.

Mary Evans was also trying her hardest to not break down in school girl giggles but remain the responsible adult in the room. Quinn's blonde hair was coated with egg and chocolate powder and Noah looked like a ghost as he picked himself up from the floor. She'd come down the stairs at Quinn's screeching laughter to see what was so funny besides two teenage boys trying to bake to find the them engaged in a flour battle. Her heart warmed at Quinn having so much fun.

"Your mom will be home any minute, Quinn." Quinn's mood darkened instantly, her eyes darting around the room and Mary felt her heart tug inside her chest at ruining Quinn's mood.

The kitchen was a mess and Judy would throw a fit, especially if Quinn was standing there covered in baking ingredients.

"I-I," Quinn cleared her throat. "I'll clean this up right away Aunt Judy." Quinn turned to grab a washcloth from the sink but stepped in egg and flour residue slipping slightly.

Puck steadied her with a frown. He didn't know a lot about her relationship with Judy but to get the generally stubborn and collected Quinn flustered like that... Puck's anger grew.

"It's alright sweetie. Go on and get cleaned up. Noah use the kids bathroom upstairs. Samuel will help me." Mary crossed over and squeezed her niece's arm reassuringly for just a moment not wanting to embarrass her.

Puck took control leading her from the room.

Mary turned toward her son. Sam was too quiet. "Sam?"

His head was down and his hands clenched the edge of the counter, his knuckles turning white from the pressure.

"Talk to me." She prodded gently, tucking his hand in hers.

"Why do they always do that?" He whispered, contempt lacing his words. She didn't have to ask who they were. Sam was a usually happy boy, with a pleasant disposition. Even when things were financially rough last year, he remained happy and upbeat. There were only two people that evoked contempt in her son.

"Do what, honey?"

"Why do they always hold Quinn's disability over her? Punish her for it? It's not like she chose to be that way." He practically spat it, swiping angrily at the soiled countertop with a washcloth.

They were both so young when everything changed. Mary wondered how much her son remembered about those first few years. It wasn't an excuse though and Mary didn't have an answer for him.

... Glee ...

Stacy's laughter greeted her as she descended the long stairwell, freshly showered and free of egg residue. She stopped on the upper landing, leaning lightly against the dark railing enjoying five year old squeals of pleasure. She picked out Puck's little sister Ava's laughter. The large grandfather clock on the wall just underneath her rang ten times. Quinn smiled as the sound vibrations on the railing tingled her fingertips.

The stairs squeeked behind her. Noah smelled like old spice and fabric softener. She breathed in deeply committing the smell to memory. It was warmth and safety, like a security blanket in a storm.

"Quinnie!" Stacy squealed pounding up the steps and grabbed her hand. "Are we going now?" Stacy started to pull her down the steps, her laughter contagious.

"Okay. Okay. Go grab your mom and your jacket." Stacy dropped her hand and bounded down the steps, hopping down one step at a time. Quinn laughed when she hit the hardwood floor, the bang echoing through the long, narrow passage way.

"Excited much?" Puck laughed, descending the stairs behind her. Stacy and Ava darted past with their jackets trailing behind.

The goal was for Quinn and Puck to take the two girl's out for Quinn's birthday gift, a trip to Newport Aquarium two hours south while Sam and Stevie would get some brother time away from their little sister. The adults would be able to attend parent teacher conferences. In the end, the hope was that the birthday girl would be so exhausted she would sleep the night before her actual birthday party. It didnt seem like a bad idea a month ago when the plan was hatched. now though, Quinn was starting to rethink this lucidity of this. Had she been insane when she agreed?

Puck sensed her mood change and nuzzled her neck. "What can go wrong? They're just little kids."

She scoffed. "Yeah what can go wrong in a dark crowded aquarium with two five year olds and two sixteen year olds, one of them blind as a bat."

"Don't do that." Puck scolded but he pressed his forehead to hers. She blinked, breathing him in and relaxed.

"Okay, but bats have really amazing hearing and I can tell you mom is driving down the street right now so... " She smirked at him. Her mother's car turned up the driveway. He heard it too, pushing aside the tall curtain beside the door.

Sure enough the Lexus pulled to a stop next to his truck.

Puck pulled open the hall closet door and grabbed his letter jacket for Quinn to wear later in the evening when the sun drifted below the horizon and her jeans jacket for now.

The red and white cane her neurologist insisted she take with her at the last appointment rested in the far corner of the closet. On the last day of her hospital stay, Puck made a quick run to the cafeteria while her IV therapy was finishing to grab some snacks. He just made it back to her floor when a clanking sound filled his ears.

He grimaced at the memory of turning the corner near her room to find her standing in the hallway, cane in hand, an occupational therapist giving her the run down on the fundamentals of 'cane travel'. Her back was to him and he shuddered as she took baby steps with it, a blindfold blocking out the rest of her vision. She tripped at the edge of her doorway, clipping her elbow on the doorjam. Finally, after a few halting passes down the hall, she ripped the blindfold off and shoved the cane at the therapist. Puck packed it in the back of her mother's SUV along with her duffel. He suspected it sat unused ever since then gathering dust in the closet.

"Quinn." He gently took her hand, the smile slipped from her face.

"What?"

Judy's keys slipped into the door.

He slowly moved their hands until hers connected with the cane. Her eyes widened and she jerked her hand away as if she had touched fire.

"No!" Her voice was laced with ice, shaking her head so fiercely her hair flew wildly.

"Quinn." He pulled her forehead to his and kissed it gently. "It'll help today. It's going to be busy and dark and I'll never forgive myself if you get hurt."

"No." She backed away from him.

"Please?" He begged. The door opened and Judy walked in. Quinn's shoulders slumped and she gave the slightest of nods.

"Stacy, Ava come on. It's time to go." Puck watched with pride as she pulled herself together. You couldn't tell just moments before she was blinking back tears.

The girls came running through the hallway, coats in hand. Her Aunt Mary came from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a napkin. She pulled Stacy into a hug.

"Now, listen to Quinn. I don't want to hear about you misbehaving." The little girl shook her head eagerly. "When you get in the aquarium, hold her hand and don't run off. Understood?"

"Yes, mama." Stacy kissed her mama. She'd been begging for a day out with her cousin since August and the fact that her best friend Ava was going to made the day even better. She wouldn't do anything to mess it up.

She grabbed Quinn's hand. "See?"

Quinn laughed as she was tugged towards the door. "Okay bug, let's go."

Quinn climbed in the front of Puck's double-cab as he fastened Stacy's booster seat into the back next to his sisters. The girls were extremely hyper and immediately started chatting wildly.

Soon, Puck pulled out onto the interstate. Quinn was quiet, her forehead pressed against the window. The vibrations on the window relaxing her. She was trying not to be upset about the cane shoved under her seat. It would be a help today even if she simply held it, people would give her more room to walk. But it made her nervous. Would people see her standing there with a little girl and know that she wouldn't be able to stop them from taking her? Or would people be more aware of her and they would be safer because all the people watching them? Her head hurt with over thinking.

Puck slipped his hand in hers when she sighed again. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Hmm?" She turned away from the window, smiling at him.

"What's going through that pretty head of yours?" The girls had calmed significantly but fits of giggles drifted from the backseat.

"My mom's drinking again." She wasn't being completely evasive about her thoughts but she wasn't getting into an argument on the cane today. She caught a huge wiff of scotch and something else on her mom when she came through the door.

"How can you tell?" Nothing seemed out of place with the brief exchange they had in the Fabray foyer except Quinn pulling away when her mother went to kiss her.

"I can smell it on her. It's only 10 and she'd been drinking scotch." She always did that. Quinn's health would stabilize and the drinking would get better, then Quinn would relapse and before she knew it, her mom would hit the bottle hard. She thought this time would be different with more of a support system with them than her dad ever was.

"She makes me feel like this is all my fault. It pisses me off." She ranted quietly. Puck didn't know what to say to that. It riled him up like nothing else. He wanted to stick Santana on Quinn's mom. He snorted.

"What?"

"I just pictured locking Santana in a room with your mom." He said dryly.

She did laugh then, deep from within, causing the girls in the back to stop chatting before laughing with her? Santana would rip her mother apart.

... Glee ...

The black pickup stopped at a McDonalds, 20 minutes from the aquarium. The girls scrambled out of the pickup still in fits of giggles. It warmed Quinn's heart.

"Can we play?" Stacy motioned to the outdoor play area. It was a good idea. Let them expel some energy before they were forced to reign it at the aquarium. Quinn turned to Puck, he nodded in agreement.

Quinn grabbed Stacy's hand. "Okay, but only until Puck gets back with the food." The girl squealed, dragging Quinn to a table in the enclosed play area.

Puck returned ten minutes later laden with two happy meals and a tray of sandwiches and drinks. The girls came running but sat at a table next to them.

Puck watched Quinn dig into her chicken sandwich with a smile. Her smile grew as the flavors mingled on her tongue. Sure it was greasy fast food, but her taste buds and sense of smell provided far greater detail than her eyesight could.  
Eating was pleasure.

She slowly became aware of Puck watching her and quirked an eyebrow at him.

"I've never known someone to take so much pleasure at eating fast food." He was smirking at her. She could tell by the tone of his voice.

She just 'hmm'd' next to him and took a handulf of fries, dipped them in the ketchup, and popped them in her mouth, smacking her lips loudly causing the girls to giggle.

A large leaf floated towards them, from the trees nearby and landed on the table between them, brushing against Quinn's hand on its way down. She giggled, holding it up in the sun, turning it, examining it.

"_October gave a party;_". Quinn reached out grabbing Puck's hand. "Close your eyes." She commanded and he did.

"_The leaves by hundreds came- The Chestnuts, Oaks, and Maples, and leaves of every name._" She directed his fingers over the leaf, its veins tickling him on the rough surface.

"_The Sunshine spread a carpet, and everything was grand,_". She turned the leaf over and the texture changed becoming smooth.

"_Miss Weather led the dancing, Professor Wind the band._" She pulled back, the leaf craddled in his hand.

"Do you feel that?" He opened his eyes, her head was tilted back, eyes closed and the sun warming her face. The wind blew then, sending a breeze through her hair. She smiled brightly.

"Feel what?" His voice sounded off to his ears. She opened her eyes, the hazels he loved so much shining with passion.

"Fall." She whispered into the breeze.

... Glee ...

Quinn grumbled loudly when they climbed out of the truck upon arrival at the aquarium. With a very loud sigh, she reached under her seat and pulled out the white cane but left it folded. It felt foreign in her hands like a grenade threatening to explode.

Stacy and Ava linked hands, swinging their arms between them. Stacy pulled on her arm. "Come on Quinnie!"

Quinn linked her arm in Puck's. The girl's stayed a step ahead of them as he led them up the crowded steps and into the visitor's center.

The volume intensified and Quinn hesitated beside him, reaching out for Stacy.

"Bug, stay right in front of us." Her voice sounded calm but Puck knew. Her eyes were wide open, blinking rapidly, in the interior of the building.

He stopped them at the counter to purchased the tickets. Quinn leaned against the hard surface, trying to determine how far away Stacy was. The visitors center was brightly lit but the mass of people moving constantly was making it impossible for her to decipher the images before her.

The girl behind the counter couldn't keep her eyes off Quinn's cane. Puck scowled at her but Quinn closed her eyes and seemed oblivious so the girl was spared a tongue lashing.

"We have audio guides." She said loudly. Too loudly for someone standing mere inches away. Quinn flinched beside him and shifted from one foot to the next. Someone brushed against Stacy, she squeaked and backed into Quinn's leg. Quinn placed her free hand on the soft blonde hair, steadying the girl.

Puck looked up at the price list contemplating when he heard the clicks of Quinn's cane being unfolded.

"When is the next guided tour?" He asked.

"Puck that's too much money." Quinn spoke up next to him, settling the tip of the cane lightly on the floor.

The girl pulled herself from staring at Quinn and typed something into the computer. Puck made note of her name to file a complaint later.

She popped her gum noisily and picked up the phone. Beside him Quinn made a disgusted face before rolling her eyes. She wasn't stupid. She could tell the girl was starring at her.

"We have a guide free now. Do you want it?"

Puck quickly paid the fee, leading Quinn and the girls over to a roped area. The guide showed up a minute later and introduced herself as Sarah.

"This will help in the crowded exhibits so you can still hear me." Sarah smiled brightly at the girls and handed them all earbuds.

Puck was impressed that she didn't hand him Quinn's earbuds, like he expected her to, instead she placed them in Quinn's hand. Quinn tentatively smiled in reply.

In the end, Puck was glad he paid the extra money for a guided tour. His girl was a brainiac and he knew she would've been bored out of her mind in the dark aquarium. He spent his time between keeping an eye on Stacy and Ava and watching Quinn in the crowded exhibits.

She wasn't really using the cane, truth be told she didn't remember a word of the quick training she endured in the hospital just to appease her neurologist. So she simple held it out in front of her slightly to keep herself from crashing into an aquarium and kept one arm firmly looped through Puck's. People must have been giving them extra room, she could tell by the sheer noise level that it was crowded. The sound echoed off the glass around them. Quinn couldn't tell who was where or how close they were to her but so far she hadn't collided with anyone or anything.

The shark aquariums were visually boring to her, the area was very dark, recreating the depths of the sea. Sometimes she could see flashes of light but it was fleeting. Sarah was very knowledgeable and the information given was far beyond the level a five year old could comprehend. Quinn was thankful for that and she asked a lot of questions keeping her mind engaged.

The saltwater aquarium was fascinating. Schools of brightly colored fish swam close to the sides of the glass. Deep pinks and greens of the coral reef contrasted with the almost white sand. Quinn couldn't remember what Sarah said about the different species but she was impressed and began to relax. Stacy grabbed her hand pulling her to the left. "Look Quinnie, its nemo!" Quinn squinted into an alcove made by the deep green reef. If she squinted hard she could make out the orange and white stripes of the ocelleris clownfish or 'nemo' as every kid on the face of the earth called it. Her breath caught when a bright yellow tang swam inches from her face. She followed it until it disappeared further into the aquarium.

They moved on to the ray cove. The girls giggled with excitement. Quinn found Sweat Pea the large shark ray fascinating, the triangular-ish shape was easy to pick out on the light sand. Sweet Pea moved up the glass near her. The dark top turned to almost white underbelly of the ray. She didn't want to move on. Puck tugged on her arm and she dutifully followed, sad to leave the rays behind.

She pushed the earbud further into her ear listening to Sarah describe the next exhibit.

Puck almost couldn't contain himself as he led Quinn towards the jellyfish exhibit. Quinn didn't seem to notice that he almost bounced up and down on the balls of his feet right outside the exhibit door. He bit back a grin of excitement and shared a look with Sarah, remembering their conversation in the tropical fish exhibit.

Once Quinn was engaged in watching the clownfish with Stacy, Sarah turned off her mic and approached the Mohawked teenager and motioned for him to follow her. They stepped to the far corner of the room but he kept an eye glued on the three ladies in his life.

She looked deep in thought next to him. "I don't mean to pry and please tell me if I'm way out of line." He glanced over at her before returning to watch Quinn moving her hand against the glass in rhythm with the fish.

"She can see some." He supplied, heading off her question. She nodded next to him.

"Well," he heard the smile in her voice. "I think we have an exhibit that will blow her mind." Puck looked over questionably at her but his interest was peaked.

Now they were standing in front of the jellyfish exhibit. Stacy leaning against Quinn's legs, one of Quinn's arms wrapped around her in a half hug. Quinn had her chin resting against the top of the cane, her tongue barely sticking out between pink lips in concentration. Puck's heart swelled tightly in his chest. Would this have been their life in five years if they hadn't given up Beth?

Stacy moved away from Quinn, bouncing with excitement. Startled by the movement, Puck realized they were all looking towards him. Quinn held her hand towards him, a frown replacing the little smile from before.

"Puck?" She could tell he was still there by his breathing. The pattern changed and she detected a little hitch in his breathing. "You coming?" She shook her hand a little.

That forced him to engage his feet. He took two long strides and reached her wrapping her outstretched arm in his. She smiled brightly and Sarah opened the door for them. This exhibit was almost pitch black except for a strip of white safety lights lining the path between the tanks and a few lights on the ceiling. Quinn slowed to a stop just inside the door. Puck took the time to let his eyes adjust. Quickly he could make out the shapes of multiple circular tanks and Stacy and Ava near him, pressed against a long dark tank.

Quinn's cane echoed in the room, as she rested it on the floor. This room didn't feel as crowded as the others. She could make out different voice whispering. The girls even went completely quiet which unnerved her. She couldn't see a thing, this was worse than the shark tank. Sarah wasn't speaking either, she'd given her whole speal in the hallway.

Ava and Stacy "ahh'd" in unison to her left. A small gasp escaped Puck. Suddenly she was being pulled in that direction. Her cane clanked into the base of an aquarium and her hand was being pressed against the glass.

"Look." Puck whispered.

Quinn leaned forward, peering into the darkness, her nose touching the glass lightly. A shiver made its way from deep within, the glass cool against her skin. Was she unable to see what they saw or was she still waiting in anticipation? The girls were holding their breath and Puck's hand was shaking against hers.

She scanned her eyes, searching the endless darkness in front of her. The rubber grip of the cane dug into her palm leaving tiny patterns etched in her skin.

She was just starting to grow tired of this, her mind drifting to the future. Would this be her life forever lost in a sea of endless black? She worried her lip to the point of tasting copper. She started to pull away even though she couldn't get far on her own. It was like a commentary on her life, independent but never completely. She had hopes and dreams but her future always hung over her like a rain cloud ready to burst in the wake of her health.

Beside her, Stacy gasped, the air whooshing out. "Do you see them Quinnie?"

Her fingers ached to caress the ivories. She should be auditioning for the Lima Youth Orchestra not standing in front of fish she couldn't see in Newport, Kentucky. She was a musician, she could have been great, but without her sight all the could have, should have and would have beens were just fragments of a life that never will be. She was born to be great, her Nana Angela called her a prodigy. Quinn knew better now... she would always be a Lima loser.

Puck looked over when Quinn didn't reply. Her eyes were closed and he couldn't read the expression on her face.

He shook her a little. She turned her head towards him, her eyes still closed. "Open your eyes Quinn." He whispered in her ear.

She shook her head, shoulders slumping. "It's pointless."

What was pointless? Puck didn't know but he didn't like the despair he heard lacing her words. He caressed her cheek in his palm. She leaned into the touch. Slowly he turned her head back to aquarium until her nose once again brushed the cool glass.

"Please, open your eyes babe." He begged. He had to get her to open her eyes. Bright neon blue jellyfish danced mere inches from her eyes. "Please Quinn."

With a frustrated sigh, Quinn slipped from the perfect storm brewing in her mind back to the present and opened her eyes. Just to appease Puck so they could move on to the next exhibit.

"Wow." The word escaped from her mouth unknowingly. She took a startled step backwards her free hand moving from glass to her mouth. Tears sprung to her eyes, drops clinging to long lashes. She blinked dislodging them in long patterns sliding down perfect pale skin.

Puck pressed a McDonald's napkin into her hand. She gave him a watery smile before quickly turning back to the glass with a hiccup.

Neon blue aurelia aurita, moon jellyfish, danced to a ballet only they knew right there in front of her very own eyes. The neon LED lights changed and blue jellies morphed into bright green before changing to a pale pink. They stood out starkly against the black water.

Slowly Quinn brought her hand to the glass, tracing the moon shaped outline. The jellyfish toyed with her swimming up higher. Her shoulder lifted, raising her palm to follow. It faded out of her vision. She moved her head down, the LED's switched colors again and spotted a group of three. She took a tentative step sideways, her toes pressed against the base around the aquarium.

It didn't even register to Quinn that Puck gently pulled the cane from her grasp. Her right hand arched toward the movement until it collided softly against glass. A sob escaped. She followed with her hands, the movement of the transparent fish moving parallel to the glass. Vaguely she remembered her Nana showing her photos in the encyclopedia of the Northern Lights. Nana whispering with awe that the spectical of light being the most beautiful thing nature produced.

Quinn knew without a doubt that her Nana was wrong. Northern Lights held nothing to the wonder in front of her.

TBC

Please review.

The Poem Quinn quoted is George Cooper, October's Party  
"October gave a party;  
The leaves by hundreds came-  
The Chestnuts, Oaks, and Maples,  
And leaves of every name.  
The Sunshine spread a carpet,  
And everything was grand,  
Miss Weather led the dancing,  
Professor Wind the band."


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to fox. No copyright infringement intended.

Song: I'll Be Your Eyes, Suzanne Clachair

**Chapter 16**

_Lucy Fabray's head bounced against her daddy's shoulder as the plane hit turbulence in preparation for its final approach into Dayton Airport. She'd taken refuge in her daddy's arms shortly after liftoff from the St. Louis airport caused fire to ignite in her spine. She bit the inside of her lip until it bled with each jostle. Not even the morphine she'd been giving when the transport van left the hospital to take them to the airport helped with the pain. She pulled the stuffed lamb tighter against her chest. Her thumb found its way into her mouth. Russell gently pulled it out not wanting his five year old to fall back into that habit._

_"Sir." The flight attendant spoke softly in the packed cabin next to him. "She's going to need to be in her own seat for the landing._

_Russell looked over the mop of blonde hair pressed against his chin at the airplane seat beside him. "Lucy. I'm going to lift you now."_

_"No daddy please." She sobbed, her face scrunching up in pain when he shifted her._

_"Lucy. I'm sorry sweetie." She cried out when the plane landed, coming down hard on the Tarmac, her daddy's arm firmly pressed across her chest keeping her upright. By the time the plane emptied of the other passengers, her head had slipped off his shoulder again in exhausted sleep._

_Russell ignored the airlines transfer chair an attendant rolled up the aisles towards them. There was no way he was waking his little girl. Reaching over her, he grabbed the fuzzy pink blanket that at some point in the flight had managed to slip to the floor._

_Turning, he handed the blanket and the novel he hadn't been able to focus on to Judy before gently lifting his baby girl into his arms. A small sigh replaced the grimace as Lucy's arms tightened around his neck. Her head found its resting spot on his strong shoulder, the lamb still stuck firmly in her grip._

_When he finally reached the concourse, another airline employee waited for them with his girl's wheelchair. He hated it. Hated that she needed it. He glanced over at Judy, the past three months had been intense and they all wanted to crawl into their own bed and sleep the pain away._

_Lucy let out a little snore next to his ear and his heart swelled with pride. She was scared out of her mind, in constant pain from nerves misfiring, but remained brave throughout. He made the decision to forgo the chair. She was finally getting some much needed sleep. His little girl barely weighed anything having lost so much weight recently. The three hour flight taking more out of her than they expected._

_As he bypassed the chair, Judy sprung into action, unlocking it with a thanks to the attendant. The hallway leading to the arrival gate was surprisingly clear so he set a lazy pace, letting Lucy sleep in his arms._

_"Dwight just text me. They finally found a parking spot large enough for the van." Judy said as they stopped just around the corner from the exit into the crowded concourse. "They're headed to luggage now."_

_"I'll stop by the DMV with the paperwork and get the disabled parking pass tomorrow." His voice caught on the word. It tasted like acid to him. Together they worked as a finally oiled team, Russell placing Lucy in her chair, securing the strap around her waist and chest. Judy pulled up her shirt slightly to check the line going into her daughters stomach they used to provide supplemental nutrition. She steadfastly ignored the ribs that stuck out beneath transparent skin. If she thought to hard on it, she would break down and she couldn't afford that._

_Lucy, didn't wake up during the transfer which relieved and worried Russell. They were still adjusting to being caretakers instead of parents and he fought against himself more times than not, to keep from waking her every few minutes to make sure she was still okay. She slumped forward, kept in the chair by the restraints, blissfully lost in sleep._

_Frannie waited impatiently beside her Uncle Dwight. They were coming home today. She'd barely seen her mother or father in months. Every few weeks one or the other of them would show up over the weekend and then leave again after sending her off to school on Monday morning. She hadn't seen them together since that fateful morning three months ago. School was almost out now and despite the attitude she showed the world, she missed Lucy._

_Her uncle took her hand and at 13 that was embarrassing but she was nervous so she didn't pull away in anger. She caught sight of her mother first. The woman looked haggard but smiled at her, speeding up in the crowded concourse. Frannie was pulled roughly into a bone crunching hug and felt her mother take a shuddering breath against her hair._

_Frannie just wanted to see that her sister really was alive. Her Aunt and Uncle tried to explain what was going on to her but Frannie couldn't understand it. How can you be fine one second and then the next wake up blind and paralyzed? She couldn't wrap her adolescent mind around it. Truthfully, neither could the adults. Not even her Aunt Mary, a trained nurse, understood it._

_"Hey, Lucy Q." She heard her Uncle speak softly next to her and tried to shrug out of her mom's suffocating embrace to see her sister. It wasn't working._

_"Judy dear, Frannie needs to breathe." Her father's rich voice broke through the noisy airport._

_"Oh." Her mother squeeked, holding her out at arm's length. Frannie shifted nervously under her mother's scrutiny. After a moment, Frannie rolled her eyes, Judy chuckled and let go to step out of the way._

_Lucy didn't look like Lucy, and Frannie decided that the girl in front of her wasn't her sister. Her sister was vibrant, full of energy and life. The sick little girl, slumped over in a wheelchair was none of that._

_Judy pushed her closer to the chair. Frannie stalled but one final shove had her moving forward. Her dad squeezed her hand sympathetically._

_"Stay with your sister while we grab the bags." The three adults moved the few feet to grab bags full of medical supplies and the suitcases they'd been living out of for three months._

_Frannie wanted to protest that she couldn't do this but, her dad simply called out that everything would be okay from the conveyor belt._

_Frannie scowled at an old man starring at her sister and stepped closer to her. Finally, with a frustrated growl at the people around them, she tentatively pushed against her sisters chest until she sat upright. A soft moan escaped sleepy lips, the stuffed lamb dropped to the ground with a loud plop._

_She and her sister fought like cats and dogs, frustration with each other always lacing their voices. The weak voice that whispered Frannie was not her sisters. Lucy squinted at her, behind glasses, then the ground trying to reach the lamb. Frannie watched frustration and anger replace the pain on Lucy's face before morphing into tears. She bent down and grabbed the stuff animal, quickly shoving it into her sisters hand as the adults came back lugging several suitcases._

_"See. Everything's fine." Russell clapped his oldest on the back. Frannie wondered if everything would ever be fine again._

Quinn woke with a loud gasp, dried drool coating her check. She swiped at it, angrily wondering what made her dream that. Truthfully she didn't remember much about that time of her life. If asked, she would lump her life into three segments: before, after and the middle gray. She remembered sitting on her Nana's lap on her 5th Birthday surprising everyone when she repeated the song her Nana had just played. That was the first time she ever played the piano and it felt amazing.

She vaguely remembered Frannie shaking her awake one Sunday morning telling her to get up before she made them late to Mass. She remembered being six and being homeschooled by her Aunt Mary and taking her first steps with a walker. That was the before and after. The middle gray was the hazy time between five and a half and six. She couldn't trust her own memories of that time instead relying on the stories she'd been told to get an idea of just how sick she was.

Rolling over, she reached for the talking watch she kept on her desk. "_The time is 12 - 30 - 5 - PM."_

That would explain why the light coming through her large picture window wasn't shining directly in her eyes like it did every morning. They'd arrived back in Lima late last night. Puck carried a sleeping Stacy into the house. Quinn kissed him goodnight, before walking the 35 steps from the front door to the stairway, she stumbled up the steps, emotional exhaustion making her sluggish, and felt her way the 14 steps down the hallway to her room not bothering to turn on the light. She collapsed in her bed face down, the lamb tucked into the crook of her arm. Someone must have come in and opened the blinds to her window. It was the last thing she did every night before climbing into bed.

Her stomach growled loudly and Quinn realized it was the combination of smelling the pizza drifting past her closed door to the loud pounding of feet on the first floor that woke her. Lots of feet by the sound of it.

"Slow down squirt! Where are you going?" Sam's voice accompanied the thudding of steps right outside her door. The door knob jiggled.

"I want Quinnie to see my gifts." Stacy's voice whined. Quinn pictured her lip jutting out.

"Quinn's asleep. She can look at them later."

"But..." Stacy's voice faded and the footsteps pounded down the stairs. Quinn couldn't hold back the giggle. It felt good to be loved unconditionally and she didn't mind spoiling her cousin.

She climbed out of bed, forgoing her glasses and trudged into the en suite bathroom.

Puck glanced up as the floorboards above the kitchen squeeked. Quinn was finally joining the land of the living. He'd arrived back at her house with Ava in tow two hours ago for the birthday bash, carrying Quinn's jeans jacket, the cane hidden underneath. He didn't know if she left it in his truck on purpose or if she was too tired to remember she had it. Either way, he thought it was best to sneak it back in the closet when no one was looking.

Much to his surprise, she was still sleeping. He knew she rose with the sun every morning. Truth be told, he was only standing in the Fabray kitchen because he promised to lend Sam and Dwight a hand wrangling thirty five-year old girls. How could one kid have so many friends? Yesterday, watching Quinn in the jellyfish exhibit had been eye opening. Did she realize how breathtaking she truly was?

Quinn emerged in the kitchen doorway, her hair wet from the shower, dressed in jeans and light pink blouse. His breath caught in his throat.

She sniffed the scent of pizza and something else, moving further into the kitchen and smiled at him. He wrapped her in a quick hug, dropping a kiss on her cheek. Judy shifted near them.

"Mom." Quinn greeted her, before moving off to grab a paper plate off the dark countertop. It was better than the silent treatment but still icy.

Judy, stilled Quinn's hands as she reached to open a pizza box. "What kind do you want sweetie I can get it for you?"

Quinn stiffened under Puck's hand that was resting on the small of her back. "I can get it myself mom."

Puck leaned over whispering in her ear that he would be in the backyard with Sam before quickly exiting through the screen door in the corner of the kitchen. He wasn't about to be around for this melt down. Evidently Quinn woke up in a prickly mood.

Quinn reached for the pizza box only to be met with her mother stopping her again. "Mom." She bit out frustrated.

"Why won't you let me help you?"

"Because you've been drinking again." Quinn kept her words even, though she was burning with anger the moment she smelled the scotch on her mother's breath.

"I am your mother. You do not get to accuse me of something you don't know." Judy didn't bother to hide her anger.

"It's not accusation when its the truth." Quinn bit back. "I can smell the scotch now. I could smell it yesterday morning and I could definitely smell it the other day with Rachel in the study."

"Lucy Quinn..."

"No!" Quinn yelled. Judy's mouth snapped shut with an audible click. Quinn's hands tangled in hair. "I need the mom that you were in the music store... That mom was amazing. That mom made me feel secure and loved. That mom wasn't lost inside the bottle before the crack of down." Quinn's voice rose from a whisper but cracked at the end. She blinked back the tears that caught on her long lashes.

Judy was silent and Quinn wished with all her might she could read the emotions on her mom's face.

She shook her head a little, dislodging the tears. Reaching out slowly she found her mother's hand and squeezed it. After a long moment Judy squeezed back. Quinn gave her a watery smile.

She took a deep steadying breathe. "I need you to be sober mom. Everyday I wake up and fight for my future... and I'm scared what that future is... What it holds." Quinn squeezed her hand again to soften the blow of her next words. "I need to know that if the worst happens... If I wake up some day completely blind and immobile and all I have is my voice... I need to know that my mommy will be there to hold me like when I was five." She took a steadying breath. She could break down later.

Judy sobbed beside her and Quinn did something she only did with Puck, Quinn reached over and pulled her mother's forehead to hers so she could look directly into her mother's eyes.

"Growing up, parents take care of their kids and then one day, the roles reverse and the child takes care of the parent." Quinn swallowed hard, her forehead still pressed against her moms. Neither one blinking. Neither one willing to break the moment. "I can't promise you that I can take care of you when I'm older. But I can now. I'll go to meetings, the doctors. I'll do whatever it takes. We've had enough loss for a lifetime. I can't loose you too. Please mommy?"

... Glee ...

Quinn was exhausted. Totally completely exhausted. Spent. Her bones felt like jelly and her heart like mush. The kind of exhaustion that seeps in and settles so deeply even your hair hurts. After her speech in the kitchen, which kinda blew Quinn's own mind, all her mom had been able to do was sob. Quinn held her tightly. When Judy recovered, she crept up the stairs to sleep. Quinn left the kitchen, her quest for pizza completely forgotten, and made her way past squealing girls to the huge oak tree in the far corner of the garden. Her 'thinking tree'.

She'd lost track of time, starring endlessly into the void of blue sky. Leaves crunched underneath her. At some point Puck came over and sat down next to her. Her head ended up on his lap and the rythymic stroking of his fingers through her hair, did far more to calm her than her anxiety meds could.

Puck didn't rush her. She would talk in her own time. His own father was a deadbeat dad and deserted his family a long time ago but Puck couldn't fathom what it was like to have one parent physically leave and the other parent mentally check out on him. Quinn had to be frustrated with it. He was for her.

Quinn fingered the leaf in her hand until it crumpled under the weight of her fingers pressing and pulling on it. She sighed.

"Do you ever think of the future and get scared?"

She sounded like a little girl to him, her voice soft with a slight waver to it.

Puck was about to tell her no. He didn't really think of the future but that wasn't the truth anymore. When he thought of the future he thought of them and it both terrified and excited him.

"I worry about it." She spoke when he didn't reply. "Will I be able to get a job? Will I be able to support myself? Will I be dependant on the people around me for everything."

His fingers stilled in her hair for a brief second before picking back up again. "Your a very talented musician Quinn. You have a future." His words were strongly spoken but not harsh. He believed if she couldn't believe in herself.

"When I look into the future..." Quinn chewed on her lip. "I see darkness." She wasn't trying to be melancholy. She just was. Needing to use the cane yesterday shook her to her core. She longed to play the piano after her argument with her mom but navigating a living room full of sleeping bags seemed like navigating a field of landminds. So she took the easy road and went outside.

Puck shifted under her, looping his hands through hers to stop her from destroying another unsuspecting leaf.

"_You close your eyes. The sky falls._" Puck sung softly, his fingers ghosting over her eyelids until they closed. _"I watch you build invisible walls."_

He pulled her up gently until she rested against his chest. "_When you believe the world has lost its heart. No one can blame you for falling apart_."

She swallowed hard, his song touching the deep truths swarming her mind. He leaned into her kneck, lightly kissing the soft spot. "_Have faith_."

Puck smiled at the small gasp but didn't give her chance to respond before pulling her to her feet and touching her eyelids with his fingers until she closed them.

"_I'll be your eyes, when you can't see the light, when the tears blind your sight, like a candle I'll show you the way_." A single tear escaped past her closed eyelids. He gently leaned forward, a soft kiss stopping it in its tract.

"_I'll be your eyes when the truth's hard to find. When your heart cheats your mind._" He twirled her once before pulling her into his embrace, her back pressed to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her in a hug, swaying them. "_When your dream dies. I'll be your eyes_." He sang softly into her hair.

She leaned back against him, more tears forming on her long lashes. He continued to sway them.

"_After all, your flesh and blood. And when you fall, hold onto love._" He squeezed her tighter, sniffled past a watery smile.

"_All your life you've been strong. You've been proud._" He turned her in his arms and tilted her face up to him. "_A lonely island. Apart from the crowd. Have faith."_

He bent down lightly kissing each of her closed eyelids. "_I'll be your eyes_." He whispered against her soft eyelashes.

Quinn didn't know how long they stood there, swaying to the rustling leaves above them. Slowly reality returned, the girls laughter fading into the house. She opened her eyes but only saw the her tears.

"I'll tell you what I see." Puck whispered, one pad of his finger gently tracing the tear tracts. She nodded slightly.

"I see bravery in adversity. A talent beyond belief. An amazing buddy to your cousin, a loving daughter and a breathtakingly beautiful soul. You matter Quinn and you have a future." He spoke softly into her hair. "What's going on?"

She bit her lip painfully but remained mute.

"Quinn." He prodded carefully. "This is more than just your mom being a douche."

Quinn bowed her head, shame coloring her cheeks. "The Lima Youth Orchestra auditions were this week." She whispered it.

"That's great!" He smiled at her but her lip trembled. Did she not make it in? Admittedly he was biased, but was a shoo-in.

She shook her head no. "I didn't try out."

Puck frowned at her. That would explain why she didn't mention it to him before now. "Why not?"

"Because I can't do the sight-reading!" She spat.

He didn't flinch. She wasn't mad at him. She was mad at the circumstances.

"There are ways around it Quinn." He stroked her hair gently, pulling her head into his chest again.

The rythmic thumbing of his beating heart started to relax her. "If I can't do it right, then I don't want to do it at all."

Was that all? Puck was trying really hard not to laugh at her. He wasn't being mean about it but he had to make her understand.

"There are two or more ways to do everything and just because you have to do some things differently babe, doesn't mean that its the wrong way."

She looked up at him then. Part of her loved him but part of her was still frustrated. They just didn't get it.

TBC

Let me know what you think. Which relationships do you want to see fleshed out? Do you want to see Frannie or Russell re-emerge in Quinn's life? All suggestions are welcomed and taken into consideration.


	17. Chapter 17

Slight spoiler alert for season 3 episode "Michael". This chapter was like pulling teeth. This is the third version of it and I'm not entirely happy but I'm posting it anyway. Feedback is needed.

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 17**

"Well, well, well. If isn't Helen Keller."

Quinn paused mid-step in the stairwell, almost a full week after Prinicple Figgins intervention in the auditorium on the day Quinn returned to school. It had been blissfully quiet since then but Quinn knew it would only be a matter of time before that changed.

She let her foot come completely down on the step before turning slowly, one hand firmly gripping the handrail. She straightened her shoulders and by the time the hulking shadow entered her vision her head was held high.

"Karofsky." She greeted nonchalantly. Inside her heart picked up rhythm. Maybe she was getting used to the anxiety meds and their effectiveness was wearing off but more than once in the last 24 hours she felt the start of a panic attack.

Karofsky invaded her space. Quinn fought the urge to step backwards, a move that could prove disastrous. She wasn't planning on falling down any steps today. Especially not the hard steps at the school.

"If that was meant as a put-down, then you are an idiot." Her voice stayed steady. Inside she screamed.

The bell rang and teenagers began spilling out of classrooms.

"Whatever you say Helen." Karofsky lunged towards her and Quinn instinctively jerked back causing his lackey's to burst into laughter. "See you around Helen. Oh wait," Karofsky hit his hand off his forehead. "Silly me."

Karosky moved around to her back, stepping up onto the step behind her, his Lackey's following. "I'd watch your back if I was you." He thumped a finger off the back of her head. "That's right." He drawled out. "You can't."

Their snickering drifted upstairs as Quinn stood immobile in the stairwell, bodies pressing past her. After a moment, she shook her head to get the feel of Karofsky's finger off it.

"Stupid idiots." She muttered.

"Who's a stupid idiot, Q?"

Quinn jumped, missed a step then righted herself, one hand clutching at her chest. "Jesus, Santana!" Quinn sucked in a steadying breath as Santana walked around her to stand in front of her.

"You've been standing there for a minute. Does Karofsky have anything to do with you muttering stupid idiots to yourself?" Santana grabbed Quinn's arm, looping it through her own.

Quinn remained silent as Santana navigated them towards the choir room.

"By your silence that's a yes. What did the neaderthal do?"

"Have you called Coach off yet?" Quinn changed the subject. She was done thinking about Karofsky although thinking about Coach Sylvester wasn't much different.

Beside her Santana sighed heavily. After Quinn's meltdown and 'outing', Santana thought that Coach Sylvester would leave the blonde alone and back off. Instead Coach had become increasingly obsessed with Quinn.

"Coach is relentless. She's obsessed or something... More so than usual."

Quinn stopped walking. "Santana, I'm sorry you lost head Cheerio over me." It was just another tally to the 'Quinn screws everybody's life up' scoreboard.

Santana shrugged it off, not liking the depressed tone of Q's voice. They started down the hall again. "Eh, bitch can have it. I'm thinking of leaving the Cheerio's anyway. She just wants to use you to earn sympathy points with the judges. And that ain't cool."

"What's not cool?" Puck greeted them with a smile as they entered the choir room.

Quinn dug her nails into Santana's arm painfully, shaking her head slightly no, hoping Santana was looking at her. Puck laced his fingers through hers, leading them to the chairs.

"Karofsky did something but Q's being stubborn and won't spill." Santana shook her arm out. Dang Quinn needed to trim her fangs. Yeesh.

"What?" Puck and Sam yelled at the same time. Quinn blushed, pulling on both their arms to get them to sit down.

"Look, it's nothing. Karofsky keeps calling me Helen Keller. He's an idiot. Helen Keller was both blind and deaf. She went on to do amazing things in a time when even one of those disabilities was a sentence to life locked away in a facility, let alone both. It's not an insult. If anything its a compliment." Quinn let out a breath. Rant over. Now they could they drop it please?

"There are procedures in place for this. Quinn can file a complaint with Principle Figgins and Karofsky will be questioned." Will watched the love for Quinn become apparent in the teenagers. He was proud of the way they were handing the curveball they'd been thrown.

"Yeah and he'll deny it. Meanwhile the bullseye on our backs will continue to grow." Artie ranted. "We need payback."

"An eye for an eye." Mike agreed. "No offense Quinn."

"No." Mr. Shuester broke in. "I have a zero tolerance policy for violence of any kind. That's not how we do things."

Evidently they couldn't drop it, Quinn thought, dropping her head in her hands. This was exactly why she wanted to keep her blindness a secret. What was she thinking letting her guard down?

"Can we just move on, please?" Quinn whispered through her fingers.

"Okay." Will clapped his hands and moved over to the whiteboard.

S-E-C-T-I-O-N-A-L-S

"Sectionals" He spoke while writing the words on the board for Quinn's benefit. "I've had time to think over your performances last week." He watched the excitement work its way through the group.

"For sectionals, we will be performing the work of Michael Jackson." The group cheered. Anytime they could perform the King of Pop they were happy.

His eyes drifted to Quinn. Her smile was forced, her head bowed slightly. She leaned into Puck's embrace. Sam looked mad.

"We will start with ABC, then Man in the Middle."

"What about Heal the World?" Rachel spoke up from her position dead center in the room.

Will nodded his head thoughtfully. "I haven't decided."

"Mr. Shu, we have to perform that song with that dance number. We'll win sectionals for sure." Rachel protest. What was wrong with him? She followed his gaze, he was looking at Quinn. Quinn wasn't looking at anyone, her head bowed, her fingers picking at her thumbnail.

"While I agree that Heal the World is a great song, there is only one person that can decide if we perform it or not."

Everyone looked confused. Once again it was Rachel to break the silence. "Who?"

"Quinn." Will spoke softly. The blonde slowly raised her head but averted her eyes. "No one but us will know the meaning of the dance unless we want them to but it's the principle of it. Artie exposed something that perhaps he shouldn't have and it's personal for you so..." He held up his hands to stop Rachel's protest. "It's up to you. We can perform the song as its proposed or we can find another song or we can change the dance. It's your decision."

Quinn didn't look pleased by that. Her eyes widened.

"Take your time to think about it. You can let us know next week." Will saved her from having to answer just then, knowing it would be a tough decision.

Quinn scratched her head. Great, now everyone would hate her if she said no. Santana's words about Sue using her for sympathy points stuck in her head.

... Glee ...

Quinn was depressed. It didn't take Mary long to realize that her niece was slipping into depression after her five year old daughter climbed into her bed Sunday night. It was the first chance they had, after Saturday's birthday bash, to find out how the visit to the aquarium went.

Stacy was practically buzzing with excitement still.

"Did you have fun with Quinn on Friday?" Dwight asked his daughter pulling her into a hug. She laid her head on his shoulder and nodded.

"We saw Nemo and all his cousins and the sharks were huge. The penguins walked funny." She shifted in bed imitating the waddle they made while walking.

"Someone told me that you behaved like a good girl." Mary spoke up. Both Puck and Quinn stated that the girls were very well behaved. Mary was proud of her youngest.

"Uh huh, but I couldn't hold Quinn's hand much." Stacy sounded unsure. She didn't want to get in trouble.

"Why not sweetie?" Dwight spoke up, tickling her slightly.

"'Cause she was holding her stick and Puck's arm, but I stayed right in front of her. Quinn liked Nemo and then we went into this really dark room with bright jellyfish and Quinnie started crying. Why did Quinnie cry, mommy?" Stacy trailed off, snuggling closer to her daddy.

She missed the look her parents shared. When did Quinn start using the cane?

"Quinn has trouble seeing." Mary began. "Sometimes when she see's really beautiful things, she cries because she appreciates it so much." Mary had seen the reaction from Quinn many times over the years. Quinn was passion, pure and simple. But explaining an abstract concept to a five year old was not easy.

"That's why she used her stick. No one bumped into her like at the mall. But people were staring at her. It made me sad for Quinnie." Stacy spoke in the darkened room.

Now it was Monday evening and her niece had barely spoken a word since arriving home from Glee practice. She ate her dinner silently, worrying her lip until it bled. Mary looked to her son for an answer but he just wore a scowl on his face. When Sam became over protective of Quinn, Mary knew something was up.

Judy wasn't helping either. She seemed nervous around Quinn, second guessing every move Quinn made and alternating between hovering and disappearing completely.

They were sitting in the study, Quinn pounding out the most depressing piano piece Mary had ever heard. Long fingers flittered over the keys like a butterfly dancing in the early morning wind. As Mary watched her niece, head bowed, hair covering her face, fingers moving effortlessly over the ivory piano keys, she was transported back to an earlier time the family huddled around a piano.

_Lucy sat on the couch, her lamb resting on her lap. Her Nana Angela sat on the bench playing the Mozart piece she'd been learning months earlier. She wanted to join her on the piano bench. She shifted on the couch._

_Mary watched her niece as she sat near her on Nana Angela's couch. The family was relaxing in the living room after their traditional Sunday lunch. Her niece was getting stronger everyday. But she didn't want to play, she seemed lost in her own world. The temper tantrums were starting to take it's toll. Mary didn't blame her. She'd probably throw temper tantrums too if the situations were reversed._

_"What were you thinking?" Russell's angry voice drifted into the living room from behind the closed dining room door._

_"Keep your voice down." Judy hissed back._

_"We can't afford water therapy!" The sound of papers being slammed onto the dining room table caused everyone to jump. Lucy's lip quivered, her thumb finding its way into her mouth. Nana Angela switched to a ragtime, the piano increasing in volume._

_"You heard the Doctor's Russell! She's in so much pain because her nerves are trying to work. Water therapy is the best way to keep her legs strong without increasing her pain." Judy's voice rose._

_"I heard them! Insurance won't cover it." Russell bit back, slamming his hands on the table again._

_"Oh so you just want Lucy to be stuck in that wheelchair for the rest of her life!"_

_Mary watched Frannie get up from the floor and storm out of the living room. A moment later the back door slammed shut._

_Beside her, Lucy's shoulder's sagged. "Everyone hates me now. All they do is fight." Mary had to strain to hear the words her niece whispered around her thumb._

_Dwight came over and as gently as possible lifted his niece into his lap. He nudged the wheelchair farther away from the couch. They didnt need its reminder of how life can change in an instant. Before long Sam climbed up in between them, grabbing his cousins hand. Mary pulled him into a hug humming a nursery rhyme._

_"Of course not but neither of us have had income in months. I can only take in so many clients. And unless we figure out how to have you be in two places at once we will only have on income for..." Russell's voice trailed off. "I want the best for Lucy but who knows how long you're going to be her caretaker! Maybe the rest of her life!"_

_"Lucy dear, do you wanna play the piano?" Angela broke in her normally quiet voice rising above the yelling. Beside her Lucy nodded, a quiet sob escaping her lips._

_Mary realized as her husband gently carried her niece over to the piano, settling her on her Nana's lap, that no one had let Lucy play since being released from the hospital._

_Angela gently brought Lucy's hand to the piano keys. Her granddaughters face lit up at the feel of the keys under her fingertips. The little girls head tilted upward, eyes closed, a giggle escaping smiling lips, as Nana Angela guided her fingers to the correct keys._

Mary jolted from her thoughts as Dwight nudged her with his elbow. Mary smiled at the scene before her. Stacy had climbed up onto Quinn's lap on the piano bench.

"The family used to have a tradition that when the second born girl turned five they would inherit the family piano." With a gentle hand she brushed the little girl's hair out of the way. Quinn cleared her throat to settle the lump that formed.

"Sadly, the piano isn't in the family anymore and I can't give you this one." Quinn leaned over Stacy's shoulders. "But, I can teach you to play." Behind her Mary gasped.

"This is the middle C." Quinn began, pressing the ivory key. The note rang out. Stacy glanced at Quinn, silently asking permission. Quinn nodded and little fingers pressed the key.

Quinn took the small hands in hers, curling the fingers underneath hers.

"C." Thumbs pressed in unison. "D" Both pointer fingers moved downward. Hammer within the Grand Piano moved in motion to the key, striking the strings. The sound filled the room. "E" Middle fingers pressed in unison. "F" Ring fingers pressed together. Stacy buzzed with excitement in front of her. "G" Quinn pressed their pinkies on the key.

"Can we play something?"

Quinn nodded, a sly smile forming on her lips.

Mary Evans watched the scene before her with a smile. Her daughter was eating up the attention and Quinn seemed to be enjoying it just as much. The opening strands to Mary Had A Little Lamb. She laughed and Quinn's smile widened.

TBC

AN: I have the utmost respect for Helen Keller. Sadly I could definitely see Karofsky saying what he did so I had to include it. It does not reflect my thinking in any way whatsoever. I've been walking around blindfolded in my own home trying to do things to understand a fraction of what Quinn is going through and I have the utmost respect and am humbled by anyone who gets out of bed each day and faces the world without sight.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to fox. No copyright infringement intended.

Thank you for all the reviews!

**Chapter 18**

Quinn pulled the large oak double-doors to the library open and hesitated slightly. She had an hour to find what she needed and make her way to the choir room for Glee practice. She'd spent the last half hour in Mr. Kennedy's room, using the computer with its attached screen magnifier and zoom-text to research what books she needed to pick up. Her mid-term paper in AP Lit, on the influences in William Shakespeare's early life was due in a week. She could probably knock the paper out in a day but it would take her that long to locate the references in the books she needed.

Though Quinn used audio books and sometimes the kindle app on her iPad - she could make the words huge and adjust the contrast to her needs - to write her papers, she still needed the books for proper citation. She didn't mind spending the money on the kindle books but the thought of spending money on physical books that she would struggle to read and ultimately would end up in a pile in her closet, struck her as wrong. And the fact that large-print books were double the price of regular books had her blood boiling.

So Quinn braved the library, a place she once would have happily spent hours in. It now seemed like a medevial tortutre device. Not that she had experience with torture device's though Santana might. Quinn frowned and shook her head to clear her thoughts.

She stepped into the dark interior and once again the world mostly faded from her vision, leaving only dark shadows for her to interpret. Whoever, designed the dark interior, with its mahagony carpet and rich wood paneling, didn't have the needs of the visually impaired in mind. That was something that Quinn noticed quiet a lot now. This world was full of obstacle's that most people never even noticed.

Quinn hesitated when Mrs. Neville, the elderly librarian, didn't immediately greet her at the door. It was an unspoken arrangement between the two after the librarian saw her bump into more than one table and bookcase one day. Quinn would come in and the librarian would immediately loop their arms together, engage her in conversation on the finer works of some literary genius, all the while silently locating the books Quinn needed. She never made a huge deal of it and the conversations they had, always captivated Quinn's usually bored mind.

Quinn could feel the eyes of her peers on her as she stood in front of the doors. For a moment, she fought the urge to turn around and come back for the books another day. But she really needed to get started on that paper. It was infuriating how it took her longer and was harder to do these things. But for now she could still control her grades, her deviance at the beginning of the year didn't completely destroy her perfect 4.0. She planned on keeping it that way.

Rachel Berry looked up when the large double doors opened, spilling the bright light from the hallway into the darker library. Normally she'd spend the hour and a half between school and Glee practice, on Tuesday's and Thursday's, in the ballet studio or the auditorium. Today she didn't feel like it. She'd been sitting there unsuccessfully trying to study but her mind kept straying to the other day at Quinn's house. Rachel felt guilty about what had happened and she felt even guiltier over completely ignoring Quinn as much as possible. It's not like they were even close to being friends but Rachel felt like she needed to apologize. She was smart enough to know that it would make things worse between the two. So, she went out of her way to stay clear of Quinn. She didn't need to stick her size four and a half foot in her throat again.

The double-doors closed. With the light change, the object of most of her thoughts recently, came into view. Quinn stood there, her book bag slung over one shoulder, pieces of printer paper clutched in her left hand, shifting from one foot to another.

She looked like she was about to bolt from the library. Rachel, couldn't recall seeing Quinn in the library this year. She dropped her head into her hands, remembering Quinn feeling along the ground for the music sheets the other day. This library probably wasn't much use for Quinn anymore, she realized.

Quinn still stood like a statue in the doorway, her head turned in the direction of the check-out counter. Students were starting to stare at her. Rachel fought against the urge to stand up for Quinn, knowing that would make it worse. Why wasn't Quinn moving?

Rachel looked around the library. Maybe Quinn was meeting someone? She didn't spot anyone as most of Quinn's friends had sports practice right after school. For the first time Rachel noticed how dark the library was. It wasn't something she thought about before. The library had undergone a renovation over the summer, it was now decorated in rich tones to inspire academic research and comfort.

She thought back to Quinn's house with light walls and carpeting against the dark furniture that was pushed to the perimeter of each room. The one room that was similar to the library had a white piano not black like most piano's were. Most of the rooms were impeccably clean, not a single toy left on the floor. She glanced down the aisle between the study tables. Discarded backpacks littered the floor.

Rachel stood up, her chair squeaking as she did. She couldn't, in good concience, let Quinn break her neck. Rachel watched Quinn's shoulders straightened, she moved with even steps toward the wall of bookshelves. Rachel was openly staring at her but she couldn't help it.

A chair squeaking nearby sent Quinn into action. She couldn't stand in front of the doors forever. Mrs. Neville obviously wasn't coming. It was possible that she was in her office. Quinn held her head high, back straight as she made her way to the bookshelves just to the right of the door. Lazily, she brought one hand up to feel along the shelves as she made her way to the counter.

To the unobservant eye it looked like the blonde was leisurely strolling around the perimeter of the room. Rachel was impressed. It was easy to see how Quinn had fooled them. Quinn paused when she passed the table Karofsky and the other hockey jocks sat at but Rachel couldn't hear what was said. Quinn's shoulders stiffened slightly, her head turned Karofsky's way for a brief second before she moved on with even steps. Rachel shot Karofsky a glare, slushy be damned. Karofsky smirked at her, his eyes never leaving Quinn's back.

Quinn reached the end of the bookshelves, made a left turn and continued forward with even steps. She stopped in front of the check-out desk, one hand lightly resting on it. Finally, Rachel couldn't stand it anymore seeing Quinn just standing there waiting for someone to appear to help her.

Quinn was frustrated with herself. She should have just waited until school started the next day to pick up her books when none of the other students were around. Now she stood in front of the check-out desk and it was painfully obvious that Mrs. Neville wasn't around. She closed her eyes in frustration. She could hear the teasing laughter that her classmates were getting at her expense. The poor blind girl just stood there like a little lost puppy.

"Mrs. N-Neville is out sick. The s-sub just stepped out." Rachel's voice spoke up behind her. Quinn's grip tightened around the paper in her hand, crinkling it loudly. Quinn bit back a sigh, her head tipping back as if to yell at God, 'Why?'

She was still pissed at the incident in her house the other day. It was still to fresh, her cheeks burned with humiliation at the memory. Quinn ignored her, hoping Rachel would take the hint and go away. Instead, she shrugged off her backpack, propping it up on the counter. The book list was placed directly underneath so she wouldn't accidentally knock it off. The last thing she needed was to go crawling around the library.

"If... I c-could, um, if you want, I could help you." Rachel spoke again sounding nervous. Of course the diva wouldn't take a hint, Quinn thought as her fingers connected with the portable magnifier, pulling it from the bag.

"I got it." Quinn bit out. She wasn't really angry at Rachel. The whole situation made her angry.

She started moving, following the edge of the counter towards the far wall, forcing Rachel to move or get ran over. Rachel let out a slight squeak, barely stepping out of Quinn's way.

Quinn's satisfied smile at Rachel's squeak, slipped a little when she felt the diva fall into step with her. She fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"Rachel." Quinn spoke evenly, barely suppressing her irritation.

"Yes?" Quinn briefly felt a little remorseful at Rachel's hopeful tone.

"What do you want?" Quinn let go of the end of the desk and stepped into the darkness without anything to keep her on track. She knew if she walked a straight line or at least a mostly straight line, the light from the tiny windows above the far wall would eventually come into her sight. The sad thing was that she didn't know if she was walking a semi-straight line or if she'd veered off diagonally and was about to crash into she stacks off to her left. Each step was a leap of faith, trusting herself not to plummet off the edge of the earth.

The sad thing about Quinn Fabray's life was that she'd been scarred at an early age and she didn't trust anyone. Okay, she maybe trusted Puck and Sam, her Aunt and Uncle and even Stacy a little, but that was it. Quinn shook her head to clear her senses.

"I just want to help you. That's all." Quinn almost forgot Rachel was beside her.

"No." This was tiring and she was having trouble focusing on her orientation in the room. She couldn't rely on her hearing if someone was talking to her and her steps didn't echo off carpet which made it even harder. Next time Mrs. Neville was around, Quinn needed to ask her to guide her at Quinn's pace so she could memorize how many steps it was from the end of the counter to the stacks.

"I don't understand." Rachel whined. Quinn paused. What didn't the diva understand? She must have missed something. She started walking again.

"Huh?" Quinn hadn't actually meant to speak. Rachel reached out and grabbed her arm. Quinn brushed her off angrily despite the fact that maybe Rachel was trying to stop her before she face planted into the stacks or a wall or something.

"I don't understand Quinn. You've let everyone else in Glee help you. Why won't you let me?" Rachel sounded like she was about to start crying.

It pissed Quinn off. She felt the blood rush to her head as angry energy coursing through her and she fought the urge to spin on Rachel and slap her silly. But then she really would loose her orientation and she would rather crash face first into anything before she asked Rachel Barbra Berry for help.

"You don't get it." She spat. She felt Rachel take a step back. "I don't want your help because you've seen me crawl around like some lost little baby trying to find STUPID WHITE PAPER ON STUPID BEIGE CARPET!" She didn't mean to scream. She really didn't but she wanted to punch something or go for a five mile run or just put her hand through the wall but hell she couldn't even see the wall. The background murmuring of voices stopped suddenly. She felt her face blush with the squeaking chairs. Great! Now people were starring at the freak show that was Quinn Fabray.

Rachel grabbed her arm again.

"Wait!" She whispered. "What your mom did was wrong. I just want to help you."

"I'm not an invalid Rachel." Quinn pulled her arm free again. Now she really was disorientated. She had no clue how far she'd walked.

"I know."

"You're going to make it to Broadway someday and I'm always going to be a Lima Loser, so stop pitying me." Rachel grabbed her arm again. This was really getting old.

Quinn rolled her eyes when she felt the shorter girl walk around in front of her. Fine if Rachel really wanted to do that she was about to become road kill. Quinn moved forward but Rachel's grip tightened on her arm. Her hip connected with Rachel and Quinn stumbled slightly, righted herself and continued forward. Rachel side stepped into her way again forcing her to stop.

"Rachel move!" Quinn hissed.

"No." Quinn's eyes widened in shock.

"Move hobbit!" Quinn grinded her teeth together. She was stuck literally and she never would have guessed that Rachel would use her eyesight against her. If she wasn't so angry, she would have been impressed by the Sue Sylvester-esque actions.

"Not until you hear me out."

Quinn reached out shoving Rachel back a step. "You better be glad I don't have my cane or it would be shoved so far up your ass it come out your throat. Don't you EVER block me again!"

"Just... I don't pity you okay."

"Go away Rachel." Quinn started forward again. This time she was angry enough she really would run the dwarf over. At the last second, she felt the brush of Rachel's sweater on her arm as she moved out of the way.

Finally the darkness started to get lighter. It's not like she saw pitch black in darker rooms. It's more like she saw various shades of black intermingled with sometimes reds from light sources. The upper left of her vision started to change to a lighter shade, the red intensifying. Quinn sped up as she neared the shelves.

She could hear Rachel a step behind her as the blurry outlines of the far stacks came into view. She clicked on the magnifier, bringing the crumpled paper up to her nose to read the giant print Dewey decimals written on it. Rachel already embarrassed them, she didn't care who watched her stick her nose on practically every book until she found the right one, she just wanted to get her books and get out of there.

She heard Rachel move off to the side and breathed a sigh of relief. It was short lived as books were pressed into her hand suddenly.

"What!"

"Those are the books you needed." Rachel spoke up, sounding pleased. "I could have gotten those faster for you if weren't so stubborn."

It took everything for Quinn not to toss the books at her. She could have gotten them herself and as long as she was capable of doing that she would. Period. End of story.

"LEAVE. ME. ALONE." Quinn ground out, spinning on her heal and heading back towards the counter. Rachel stayed a step behind her, her stare boring a hole in the back of Quinn's head. Finally her hand connected with the check-out counter and she followed it back towards the front of the library.

Thankfully as she neared the check-out computer she heard the squeak of a rolling chair and rustling of clothes as the sub stood up. It turned out to be Mr. Ashworth who happened to sub for her French teacher and thankfully knew of her blindness. She was checked out quickly and efficiently without further damage to her self-esteem. She tucked the books neatly away in her backpack, no longer feeling any excitement towards the assignment.

Quinn chose the 'ignore Rachel Berry' method of dealing with Rachel, who was still trailing behind her like a little lost puppy and turned back towards the front wall of the library and made her way steadily toward them and her escape. Karofsky didn't pipe up when she passed the halfway point and she breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully he left before Rachel embarrassed them. With her luck, probably not.

Quinn felt the carvings on the library door and leaned her hip against it with relief. The fluorescent lights and large windows lit up the hallway. Quinn blinked against the on slaught of light to her senses. As Quinn turned to her left, desperate to seek refuge as far away from the choir room as possible, an alarm playing 'Don't Rain on My Parade' on Rachel's phone sounded. Quinn jumped, either forgetting the diva was still there or hoping she had taken the hint and left, which one she wasn't sure. Quinn thought it was ironic that Rachel's alarm was that song because it's exactly what she was doing to Quinn... raining on her parade.

"Quinn the choir room is this way." Rachel hesitated, for a second, her hand hovering over Quinn's arm before touching it.

Quinn stopped again. Someone really needed to teach Rachel a lesson on invading personal space. Maybe she would get Santana to do it.

She shook Rachel off for what felt like the millionth time. "I know." Venom laced her words.

"But..."

Quinn spun, knocking into Rachel, forcing her to step back. "What part of... Leave..." Push. "Me..." Push. "Alone..." Push. "Do you not understand?" Quinn successfully pushed Rachel several steps out of her personal space.

Rachel just huffed, but Quinn caught the slight hitch in her breathing, before spinning on her heal and running down the hall towards the choir room.

Quinn took the first side hallway she came to, her back colliding with the lockers, the clang of metal echoing loudly in the empty hallway as she slid the distance down to the floor. Her backpack dropping uselessly to the floor beside her with a loud thud.

She dropped her head into her hand, shoulder's shaking as she struggled to breathe past the panic building in her chest. Quinn focused on forcing air into her slightly asthmatic lungs. The last thing she needed was her panic attack to trigger an asthma attack.

Tears formed, blinding her even more. She couldn't shake the feelings of being trapped unable to move around Rachel. It brought back too many memories of being confined to the wheelchair and relying on others to move her because she couldn't see well enough to judge the depth between her and the objects around her. Each time she rammed the chair into something, sending fire through her limbs and back. Worse yet was dragging the walker around on Bambi-like legs, her eyesight slightly improved with remission and stronger glasses, but her legs so weak and not obeying her commands that every object or bump would send her crashing to the ground, stuck until someone came and helped her up.

A sob escaped past chapped lips, echoing down the long hallway. Quinn's head dropped onto her knees, a silent prayer making its way past the tears to whatever God that was out there to make her pain go away.

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 19**

"What do you think they're talking about?" Sam asked, his head tilting to one side, as he absently scratched at the back of his neck.

He, Santana, Puck and Brittany were propped up against the lockers directly opposite Ms. Pillsbury's office. They'd been standing there for the last five minutes looking at Quinn sitting next to Mr. Shu, across the desk from Ms. Pillsbury. They seemed deep in conversation. Santana first spotted the blonde right before lunch period. Now, an hour later, she was still in there and the first warning bell had rung. It looked like she had no intension of moving anytime soon. Ms. Pillsbury would look up every so often at them and motion them to move on. They ignored her.

"If you don't know Trouty, then how are we supposed to?" Santana shifted against the lockers. She didn't like this. Something was up with Q-ball. She'd been acting odd anyway but ever since the beginning of the week when Rachel had stormed into Glee practice, tears in her eyes and Quinn never showed up... the blonde had taken moodiness to a whole new level.

Now, it was Wednesday and Quinn had evidently decided to camp out in the guidance counselor's office. It didn't add up.

"Has anyone found out what Manhands did to Quinn? Or, what Quinn did to her?" She asked. Something happened between the two. There was no doubt about that.

"No! You know Quinn. If she doesn't want you to know something, then good luck getting it out of her." Sam spoke up remembering the fight that rocked the Fabray mansion on Monday night. Whatever happened between his cousin and Rachel had shook Quinn enough that she'd decided to walk the two miles home instead of attending Glee.

When he'd arrived home all three of the adults and Quinn were yelling at each other. Sam shuddered at the memory. He'd never seen his mother and father raise their voices but all the adults were going at it on how stupid Quinn was acting to walk that distance alone. He didn't blame them. Quinn was acting stupid and no one wanted her to get hurt. The argument ended with Quinn yelling 'whatever' and storming up the stairs. Needless to say that went over like a lead balloon. Quinn was now grounded from her piano.

Sam had to agree with everyone, an angry Quinn was scary so he decided to stay out of it until Quinn confided in him or Puck. He glanced over at Puck who wasn't looking at Ms. Pillsbury's office but down the hallway. Santana stiffened beside him. He followed their gaze and saw Rachel, leaning on Finn's arm as they walked towards them. Rachel kept her gaze down, only pausing to glance in Ms. Pillsbury's office before they disappeared around the corner.

Santana started after them but Brittany stopped her with a gentle hand. "No fighting." Santana slumped against the wall.

The bell rang again letting them know they had one minute to get to their classes. Reluctantly the group broke up but not without one last glance at Quinn.

... Glee ...

Quinn's week just kept getting worse. Monday's alteration with Rachel in the library shook her more than she wanted to admit. It didn't get any better when she walked into her house without Sam. Once her mom, aunt and uncle realized she walked home, World War III broke out. No matter how many times she told them she could see just fine in the bright afternoon light, they wouldn't listen to her.

Tuesday she dealt with Karofsky's stupidity and bumping into her at ever turn which left her more than frustrated. She was well on her way to meltdown city and now she'd been called into Ms. Pillsbury's office.

She was surprised that Mr. Shu was there but it didn't take long until she was told that they couldn't get ahold of her mother. That made her nervous.

"What's this about?" She didn't beat around the bush. It was her luch period and she wanted to spend it in the choir room playing the piano. She may be grounded from the piano at home but she was still going to play. Her mother's morbid form of punishment was not going to stop her.

"Have a seat Quinn." Mr. Shu spoke softly next to her, the leather on the chair groaning as he shifted. She dropped as gracefully as she could into the chair to his right.

"Okay." They were freaking her out a little.

"The state wants to provide you an aid." Emma cutting to the chase knowing this would be met with resistance.

"No." Anger bubbled over. Quinn felt her whole world had been spun on its axis lately and she couldn't find her equilibrium.

... Glee ...

"What were you doing in Ms. Pillsbury's office?" Puck asked the first chance he had. Unfortunately they weren't alone so he leaned over and whispered his question into Quinn's ear. They were sitting in the auditorium waiting for Mr. Shu to arrive. The others were formed in groups of two or three, laughing and joking around. When he arrived, Quinn was sitting on the piano bench and Santana shot him a look, motioning towards Quinn with her head.

"The state wants to provide me an aid."

Puck frowned, Quinn's voice was full of defeat. He wanted to yell at her when he found out she walked home by herself on Monday, but the slumping of her shoulders and defeated look on her face kept him quiet. Instead, he made her promise never to do that again but to call him and he'd gladly skip Glee with her.

"I said no." In reality, an aid wouldn't be that bad an idea, he knew she was struggling more than she let on, but he wasn't about to tell her that. He also wasn't surprised by her reluctance either.

Puck grabbed her hand, tucking her into his side. "What was Mr. Shu doing and where was your mom?" Puck wasn't the smartest tool in the shed but he was pretty sure a conversation like that involved parents.

She was saved from answering by the object of his question walking onto the stage carrying a plastic bag.

Will looked at his kids, knowing that he was about to rock their world and probably not in a good way. He sat the plastic bag, filled with the special blindfolds he'd ordered, down on the piano beside Quinn.

Puck peaked into the bag. When he looked up it was with a knowing look. He tucked Quinn tighter into his side and nodded at his teacher. This was going to be hard, maybe a little embarrassing for Quinn, but worth it. The teacher's unconventional use of the wheelchairs last year really opened their minds to Artie's struggles.

Rachel spotted him and made a beeline in his direction. He held up a hand to stop her.

"Mr. Shu, what are we doing in the auditorium?" Will's hand dropped uselessly to the side.

They were just in the beginning stages of learning the choreography to ABC and no where ready to perform it on the stage. Rachel didn't understand this change up in routine.

The others piled around him and he motioned for them to take a seat on the stage floor. Everyone complied, some grumbling, except Quinn and Puck. Artie stayed near Brittany and Santana.

"I have our final set list for sectionals. We will be performing _ABC_ and _Man in the Mirror_ as previously discussed and our final song will be _Heal the World_." Rachel's smile widened. She was practically buzzing with excitement.

Will looked over at Quinn, recalling the long discussion in Emma's office earlier in the day. "You're not performing the solo Rachel. Quinn is."

"What!" Both girl's yelled in unison while surging to their feet. He expected that reaction from Rachel but Quinn's reaction startled him. Rachel stomped towards him. Quinn looked like she wanted to flee but Puck held tight to her hand pulling her back down to sit on the bench.

"While we all agree that Quinn has a lovely voice, Mr. Shuester, I've performed all the solo's for our competition and that songs screams a nice strong voice."

Santana looked at Rachel incrediuosly. "Actually, RuPaul, Quinn's softer alto suits the song better. Your voice will overpower the meaning of the words."

Mercedes nodded her agreement. "Besides who said you get all the solos? Maybe the rest of us want a chance to. This is Quinn's song and its only right she should sing it."

Will glanced over at Quinn, her head was buried in her hands, her face covered by her long hair. He couldn't read her expression. Puck was looking incrediuosly at Rachel.

"Rachel sit down!" His voice left no room for argument. She huffed, her mouth snapping shut. Arms crossed, Rachel stomped over to Finn and sat down next to him.

Quinn dropped her head into her hands as soon as Puck coaxed her back to the piano bench. This was not what she expected from her conversation with Mr. Shuester earlier in the day. When she told him that she couldn't see well enough with the stage lights on to perform safely and as well as she could in the choir room, he told her he'd take care of it.

"Quinn won't be dancing to _ABC_ but every member must perform in at least one number. I've been in contact with the Show Choir governing board and singing from behind the piano doesn't count. So Quinn has the Heal the World solo and she and I will work out her choreography."

Quinn definitely didn't expect that at all. She didn't like it. It was one thing to blend into the background. She didn't want an auditorium full of people starring at her.

"I don't get it. Quinn does fine with her dancing." Santana spoke up, looking over at her friend. Quinn's ears burned with embarrassment.

Puck picked up the plastic bag and tossed it at him. Will caught it easily.

"Quinn performs the routines because we spend every lunch hour going over them. It's not easy and it's not particularly safe." Dancing in the choir room was one thing but dancing a routine with the raisers and the edge of the stage drop off was a completely different ball game. The two couldn't be compared.

"Stand up." He started handing them the blind folds.

Quinn pinched the bridge of her nose hard, a headache forming deep in her head. Slowly she raised the key cover, her fingers lightly gliding over the keys. 88 keys that opened a whole new world to her. A world without blindness and fear. A world of hope and dreams where she could just be Quinn. She didn't have to be the perfect daughter without a hair out of place. She could just be. 7 notes played on 88 keys in an endless symphany of light dancing behind useless eyes. It wasn't something she could explain.

"Are you okay?" Puck spoke up beside her, pulling her from sinking into that dark spot in her mind. Quinn shrugged. Okay was a relative term that changed with the ebb and flow of the ocean's ever moving tides. Had she ever really been okay?

She could hear the grumbling of her classmates. She couldn't blame them. She felt like that every day. Only, at the end of this they'd be able to take off their blindfolds and go back to a life full of color and light. She was stuck forever like this.

"When your ready Quinn." Mr. Shu spoke near the edge of the stage. Quinn nodded and the stage lights were turned completely off.

Everyone gasped except her. Instead she focused on the keys underneath her fingertips as the jazz band played the opening notes.

Someone gasped and stumbled.

Quinn let the flow of the music take over, feeling the blues tune deep inside her.

"_What you say. Never seemed to come to the moment has left me_." She poured all her hurt into her voice. "_Everyday flies on by as I pay no mind."_

She felt Puck hovering near her and smiled at him. The stage lights came on and Quinn blinked against the brightness. "_Walk the line. Don't be surprised if you stumble."_

When Mr. Shu first approached her with this idea, she was resistant. Having to describe what she saw was not her favorite thing to do. When he said that he would fine blindfold that let in a little bit of light and not complete darkness, she felt like he was really listening to her. She still was reluctant but her altercation with Rachel in the library pushed her over the edge.

She focused on her breathing. "_How much time... Have I was wasted, rehearsing my lines._" Quinn shook her head at the words. She still wanted to hide from the truth.

"_Broken sunshine in my eyes. Broken sunshine in my eyes. And I can't see the way_." Quinn focused on inflicting her feelings in the words.

Santana gasped, hearing the words her friend was singing. She felt ashamed. She knew Quinn was hurting but this song really did open her eyes to her pain. It was ironic to be standing on the stage, blindfolded first seeing only pure darkness and now when the stage lights lit up her vision was assaulted by constantly moving shadows as people moved around her, she was frozen in place and truly seeing Quinn's world for the first time. How did Quinn do it? How did she get out of bed each day?

"_Travel on. Leave the weight of your worry behind you_." Someone bumped into her. Santana growled, losing her balance.

"_Feel the song. Just like a light that flows deep in your veins."_ She picked up a slight hitch in Quinn's voice. Tears, wettened her blindfold. When had she started crying?

The piano trailed off slightly. Was Quinn crying too? Santana was desperate to hug her, tell her she would always be there for her but she was frozen in her spot. Too terrified to move.

"_Broken sunshine in my eyes._" The music picked up, Quinn's voice steady again. _"Broken sunshine in my eye._" It really was a catchy, blues-rock tune but the meaning spoke more volumes than anything else.

"_And I can't see the way._" She shuddered as someone near her ran into someone else. That had to hurt. Santana took a hesitant step forward, hands out stretched. She had to get to Quinn.

"_Broken sunshine in my eyes every morning. Broken sunshine in my eyes._" She followed Quinn's voice as her Glee mates bumped into her. Someone yelled at her to just stop moving but she couldn't.

"_And I can't see the way-ey-eh_." Quinn's voice broke again at the end. The music came to an end as the band finished the last notes.

The stage lights dimmed as the house lights rose. Santana pulled off the blindfold, scrunching it beneath her fingers. She'd barely moved a few feet from her original spot. It felt like she'd walked miles.

The stage looked like chaos. Rachel squeeked when she when she realized she was standing on the edge of the stage. When had she gotten so close to it? Finn was rubbing his shin angrily, having hit it multiple times on the risers.

No one was talking, afraid to break the silence that had taken over. The only sounds were heavy breathing and sniffles.

Quinn was immensely grateful that Puck pulled her into his embraced. She couldn't bare the sympathy and pity she felt rolling off her classmates in waves. Puck stiffened, his hold on her tightening. She started to turn slightly, ask him what was wrong, when Rachel cleared her throat.

The tension headache intensified. She squared her shoulders and straightened slightly.

"Quinn, I..." Rachel cleared her throat. "I'm sorry for the other day. I just wanted to help you. Look, you can have the solo okay. I'm sorry."

Quinn couldn't help it. She took a step closer to Rachel. Rachel flinched, expecting to be slapped or something. Instead Quinn chucked. It was a humorousless, self-depreciating chuckle, bursting from deep within her soul.

"Do you think I care about some STUPID show choir competition!" Her voice rose with each word. "That's all life is to you? Well, I'm sorry Rachel. I could care less."

She pulled the blindfold from Rachel's limp grasp. Her classmates shifted nervously near them. "This isn't some game! I don't get to take this off whenever I feel like it. I wake up trapped every single day. This is my reality... not some silly show choir competition."

"I..."

"No." Quinn held up her hand stopping Rachel. She took a step closer, Puck's hand still resting on her back, grounding her. "What you did in the library... Why?"

She felt Santana and Sam approach. "I'm trapped every day and you literally trapped me in there. Why?" Her headache mounted to unbearable levels and she squeezed her eyes shut. This day just kept getting worse.

"What did you do, RuPaul?" Santana touched Quinn's arm in support.

"Nothing. I was just trying to help Quinn find her books." Rachel sounded defensive.

Quinn dropped her head into her hands, her shoulders slumping in defeat, "I wanna go home now Puck."

"Okay." He nodded, gently pulling on her elbow until she turned. She let him guide her out the side door. As it slammed shut, Santana's voice shifted into another octave, yelling at Rachel.

They would never fully understand.

**TBC**

The song Quinn sang was Broken Sunshine by Moreland and Arbuckle.

Please Review! I want to know your thoughts and opinions. It makes my writing better.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 20**

Going to the mall with Santana and Brittany wasn't Quinn's idea of a good time. But it was Saturday and she was growing frustrated with her writing assignment and Santana had caught her in a weak moment.

She really needed to get a move on buying her Homecoming dress and she'd much rather do it with her friends than her mother. At one point in her life going dress shopping with her Aunt Mary might have been fun. Now though, she was simply too mad at all the adults in her life to even entertain the notion.

"Come on Quinn it'll be fun." Brittany called to her from where she was lounging on Quinn's bed. Santana sat near the headboard and nudged Quinn's knee with her own.

Quinn pursed her lip together, brow furrowed.

"I'm not sure guys... I can't really see much in the stores. I'm sorry." She didn't know why she felt the need to apologize but she did anyway. If Brittany and Santana expected a trip to the mall to be like old times, they were bound to be disappointed.

"It's alright. Britts and I can describe the dresses to you." Santana nudged her knee again. Quinn couldn't help but smile slightly. She knew that Santana was trying to get a rise out of her.

"Okay." She reluctantly agreed. Brittany jumped up and down. Quinn still didn't think it sounded like fun but smiled at Britt's enthusiasm anyway.

Now she was standing on an escalator headed up to the second floor and praying that she wasn't about to wipe out in the middle of the crowded mall. She could see well enough with the skylights to dodge some of the people around her but still kept a tight grip on Santana's arm.

Santana squeezed her arm a moment before she stepped off the escalator in one piece. Quinn let out the breath she was holding.

"Oh look, Anthropologie!" Brittany grabbed her hand from Sanata's, dragging her into the store. "You'd look so great in these blouses Quinn." Brittany gushed, shoving the blouse into her hand. It was silky smooth with a slight texture running down the front.

"Don't you like it Quinn?"

"Sure." Quinn held it out until Brittany took it from her hands. "I don't need any more shirts Brit but thanks."

It wasn't necessarily awkward as much as it was humiliating. She didn't know what color the shirt was. In the end it wouldn't matter, Quinn had taken to wearing dark blue jeans, which pretty much went with everything. She was too embarrassed to ask them to describe it.

Brittany pulled her into three other stores none of which had dresses. Finally just when Quinn was starting to get bored, Artie rolled up to them outside Hot Topic. Quinn caught the scent of his aftershave a moment before the squeaking of his wheels. She turned towards him before he completely rolled to a stop.

"Hey woman!" He pulled Brittany down for a kiss. Beside her Santana stiffened. Quinn could practically hear Santana's eyes rolling in her head. An uncomfortable silence settled over the group.

"Let's grab some food." She pulled on Santana's arm to get her moving. She was a little hungry, but the thought of a busy food court made her stomach turn in a bad way. Still, she would sacrifice her comfort to ease the tension that was forming.

Santana took the lead, Brittany and Artie trailing behind them. They settled on McDonald's and found a table along the corner. Quinn sat with her back to the wall. Soon, Tina and Mike joined them, laughing about some movie they were going to watch after lunch. Brittany and Artie decided to join them.

"Aren't you coming too?" Brittany asked when Quinn didn't join in on the plans. She blushed, her eyes closing for a second to gather her thoughts.

Brittany didn't mean anything by it. She was too innocent to be malicious but it still hurt. She loved going to movie's with her friends in the past. Quinn looked down towards her hands while biting her lip. An uncomfortable silence settled over the table.

"Nah, Brits. Q and I have to find the perfect dress for next week." Santana broke in effectively changing the subject.

Thirty long minutes later she and Santana were walking towards the dress shop when Santana stopped suddenly, pulling her against the wall.

"Brit didn't mean anything." Santana spoke, an apology in her tone of voice.

"I know." Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "Still hurts though."

"Yeah." Santana agreed.  
Quinn felt like Santana was talking about seeing Brittany hanging on Artie's arm but didn't voice her thought. Instead she changed the subject. "How much do I owe you?"

"For what?" Santana sounded confused and distracted.

"For lunch. You okay?"

"Fine." Santana ground out angrily. Quinn held up her hands as a peace offering. "I've got it Q. You get next time."

"O-Kay." Quinn couldn't protest, she was too busy trying to keep up with the brisk pace Santana set towards the dress shop.

The mall was packed. It had been busy before lunch, but now it felt like it was stuffed to the gills. Only when she tripped over someone's foot and growled at Santana to slow down did their pace return to normal.

"I'm going to stick to the edge. Less people." Santana moved them towards the outer edge. It helped. Quinn could tell, in her limited peripheral vision, when they passed store entrances by the intensity of the lighting changing.

Finally they reached the dress shop and Quinn hesitated. She'd long since changed her mind about this and wanted to leave.

"What's wrong?" Santana could easily read the expressions flitting across Quinn's face before settling back into Quinn's normal neutral look.

"Um." Quinn scuffed her toes across the carpet just inside the doorway.

"It's okay Q. I'll help you." Quinn had never heard Santana be so sincere before. It was touching but Quinn still felt embarrassed.

"I..." She huffed out a sigh when Santana squeezed her arm. "I can't really tell colors anymore and I'm not going to be able to see a thing in the fitting room."  
The thought of being in a fitting room, fumbling around with an expensive dress in her hands, unable to see what she was doing was almost too much. She turned to flee but Santana held her back.

"Please Q. Like I haven't seen your stuff before. Now we are buying a dress."

"Santana you don't have to do this. I can get my aunt to help."

Santana squeezed her hand, pulling her farther into the store. "I wasn't there for you during your pregnancy like I should have been. I want to be here for you now, please let me?"

Quinn nodded, blinking back tears. Last year hurt, she felt like Santana abandoned her when she needed her best friend the most. She was grateful that Santana was stepping up now and Quinn knew how lucky she was to see Santana's softer side.

Santana was surprisingly good at describing the dresses. She didn't say that they were red. Instead she said, deep wine or bright lipstick red or burgundy with flecks of gold. It was refreshing compared to asking a gazillion questions just to formulate a picture in her mind.

It didn't take long before Santana found 'the perfect dress to drive Puckerman nuts'. Quinn knew she could drive Noah nuts in anything she wore even a paper bag. Santana insisted that she try it on, dragging Quinn to the fitting room before she could protest. Before long they were giggling while squeezing into the tight space.

The dress cost a little more than Quinn wanted to pay and they still needed to find Noah a tie that matched because there was no way Quinn would be able to describe the color without showing him the dress. Santana assured her that this was 'the dress' and wouldn't take no for an answer. Quinn agreed to purchase it because she knew Santana wouldn't let her look frumpy. She trusted her on this.

Reluctantly, she followed Santana to the counter and asked if they had matching ties. The cashier sounded more gay than Kurt as he happily gushed that the dress was perfect for her complexion. Quinn blushed when he bounded out from behind the check-out counter to find the tie.

She pulled out her bank card, nervously fingering the numbers over and over until Santana reached around and stopped her. The total came to $254.99 and Quinn just about fainted. It wasn't overly expensive for what it was and she had the money in her account, but Quinn had come to understand the value of a dollar when she needed to buy maternity clothes last year while homeless and cut off from her allowance. It felt silly to spend that much money on a dress and a tie that would probably only be worn once.

It took Santana poking her in the ribs for her to relinquish her hold on her card. It was only as the receipt for her to sign was printing out that she realized her mistake of not carrying a large quantity of cash.

She glanced back wearily at the line forming behind her before turning back to the counter. She knew the cashier was holding the receipt and pen out to her by the way his shoulders rose.

Santana shifted beside her when she made no move to take it. A scowl formed at the impatience of the people behind them. She reached over grabbing the pen from the cashier. The motion seemed to snap Quinn out of her daze. She heaved a great sigh, her cheeks blushing a deep red, and dug through her purse emerging a moment later with a magnifier.

Santana glared at the person directly behind Quinn, threatening to yell 'What? Haven't you seen a blind person before?' But she didn't. That would only embarrass Quinn more.

Quinn flipped on the magnifier and Santana pressed the pen into her hand. She felt her ears turning red. Finally after a long moment she lowered her head to the counter just inches from the receipt. She could barely make out the signature block and hastily scrawled her name. She didn't care if it looked anything like the signature on her card. She just wanted out of there.

... Glee ...

Puck shifted nervously in front of Quinn's door, a bouquet of sunflowers in his hand. He adjusted his black cowboy hat on his head and scuffed his boot on the doormat. Carved pumpkins caught his eye. He could easily make out Stacy's crude carving. If he squinted hard enough it looked like a pony.

The front door opened and he sucked in a deep breath.

"Don't look so sad to see me Puckerman." Sam joked. His friend stood jut outside the door dressed in tight black jeans, a form fitting black button down western shirt, black boots and a black cowboy hat. Even dressed like he was going to a line dance, Puck still looked like a rocker. It suited him.

Sam opened the door wider motioning him in. Puck pulled his hat from his head and stepped into the room. They were headed to a bonfire at Brittany's Uncle's orchard.

Quinn came down the stairs smiling at him. His breath caught in his throat at her beauty. Her hair was loosely braided underneath a cowgirl hat. the golden straw complimented her hair color. She wore a pair of square-toed cowboy boots under form fitting Levi's and a pink tank top peaked out under her long-sleeved button down shirt. It was a dark blue with aqua and pink stripes. She looked amazing. Out of all the looks he'd seen on her, Puck liked this one the best.

She stopped before him, her hand running over the texture just above the pockets on his shirt. He leaned over and pecked her cheek. She scrunched her eyes, a content smile forming on her lips.

"You look amazing." He whispered.

"Really?" She sounded unsure. Puck toyed with the collar on her shirt. "Breath-taking."

Sam gagged fom behind her. Her blush deepened.

"Oh here. These are yours." He held the flowers out to her. "They're sunflowers." He told her when she brought them up to her nose.

"Thank you Noah." They smelled wonderful. Sam took them from her, jogging off to the kitchen.

"Are you sure I look okay?" She fingered the hem of her shirt nervously.

"I like this look on you." He spoke the truth from his heart, conveying his sincerity in his voice for her.

"I guess my country roots are showing." She smiled up at him.

"Country looks hot on you." Her ears turned pink and she ducked her head. Puck chuckled. Who knew someone could be so hot and adorably cute at the same time?

"If I'm not mistaken, country looks hot on you too." She was remembering their first performance with April Rhodes last year. Man he had rocked that costume. The image was seared into her mind, taking her imagination to destinations unknown.

"You're in luck." He husked, guiding his hat into her hands. "I'm wearing that outfit now."

She blushed, pulling at her collar. God, where was Sam? If he didn't reemerge soon, she was not going to be held responsible for her actions.

Stacy chose that moment to come running down the stairs and attach herself to Quinn's leg. Puck took a step back, reaching into the hall closet and grabbed his letter jacket. His pants were uncomfortably tight and he was desperate to get out into the cool autumn evening.

"Can I go with you?" Stacy begged.

"Not this time squirt." Puck spoke up, grabbing Quinn's hand.

"I wanna go!" Stacy stomped her foot. Puck thought it was kind hillarious. Stacy held nothing on Ava's temper tantrums.

"Stacy." Quinn warned. The little girls lip stuck out.

"Well..." Puck drawled out. "I was going to take you, Ava and Quinn to a corn maze tomorrow after church but... they don't allow little girls who pout." Puck tried to keep a straight face as Stacy's lip suddenly found its natural position. She jumped up and down before bolting up the stairs to find her mom.

Puck chuckled then, turning back to Quinn. Uh oh. She's standing there her hands on her hips and definitely mad, her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide as saucers. Puck wanted to slap his forehead. He didn't think that one out.

"You had fun at the aquarium right?" He asked quickly while helping her into the jacket. She reluctantly nodded her head but the worry lines still marred her forehead. "Trust me, I'll make it fun for all of us."

He was saved from digging the hole further by Sam reemerging from the kitchen. He had a wide-eyed grin on his face. Quinn turned towards him sensing his happiness.

"I convinced Aunt Judy to push curfew back until 11:30!" He high-fived Puck.

"How'd you manage that?" She asked incrediuosly. First her mom let her out of the house to go dress shopping with Santana earlier and now she pushed back Quinn's very strict curfew. All that while she was still technically grounded. Quinn wasn't about to complain.

"Ah well, I kinda promised you would call at 10 and let her know you are okay." Sam shrugged helplessly while following them out to Puck's truck.

Quinn smiled. She could do that.

Shortly they were on their way to the large orchard that housed Brittany's Uncle's farm. Quinn tried to focus on the guy's rocking out to Metellica from the backseat but she couldn't concentrate past the butterflies taking flight in her stomach.

This would be the first time she was out at night with someone other than Puck or Sam. This event was a community tradition and Quinn remembered from the past that most of the town showed up at one point or another.

Quinn felt the large truck turn off the main highway, cross over a railroad track and turn down a narrow country lane. At some point Puck had rolled down the windows to let in the crisp Autumn air. From the sound the gravel made under the tires, Quinn guessed another car was right in front of them.

She closed her eyes, taking in the vibrations on her seat as Sam and Puck rattled on about the upcoming homecoming game, the last home game of the season.

She never would have guessed that a good ol' boy like Sam would become such good friends with the wanna-be punk like Puck. They were opposites. Well, once you made it past Puck's exterior walls, he really wasn't that much different than Sam. They were both kind hearted. Quinn counted herself blessed twice over.

The truck pulled to a stop in a large clearing. The sun was just starting to slip behind the horizon, casting the recently plowed fields in a golden honey.

Quinn stepped out of the truck, one hand firmly grasping Puck's as he eased her down onto freshly cut grass. Quinn breathed in deep. The smell of cut grass, mingled with the fresh cider and smoke. If she listened past the children's laughter and country music, she could hear the crackeling of the bonfire in the distance.

She didn't realize she was shaking slightly until Puck wrapped her up in his arms, her back pressed firmly into his chest. He stepped backwards until they were leaning against the side of his truck.

"You okay babe?"

She nodded, biting her lip.

"So... I was thinking we could go into the barn and listen to the music. There's huge floodlights in there." He was being gentle with her. From anyone else she might have been offended but not with Puck. He was so sincere, his voice conveying the emotions she couldn't see on his face. She felt safe with him.

They set out a lazy pace towards the barn, Quinn tucked tightly into his side with one of Puck's arm thrown lazily over her shoulder. They looked like a young couple taking a leisurely stroll.

Quinn smiled as they drew near the barn, the country music increasing in volume. Her nose was assaulted with wonderful smells of food and her ears picked up the sizzling of grills.

Puck chuckled as he came to a stop. "Whatcha want?"

She laughed at his fake drawl. Other than looking mighty fine in some Levi's and cowboy boots, Puck was soo not country.

"There's a hog roast, hot dogs, pork tenderloins."

Quinn frowned, all that was pork products. With a fairly large Jewish population in Lima, Quinn was a little bit surprised.

"Is there anything you can eat?" She asked, her feet crunching on gravel as she shifted to look up at him.

"STEAK!" He practically drooled on her in his excitement.

Quinn giggled at his enthusiasm. He led her over to steak master placing his order for one t-bone medium rare. She heard the lust in his voice as his juicy steak was handed over. He led her to the correct booth for a breaded tenderloin. She grinned wildly with excitement. She couldn't help it. It was practically a Midwest institution to eat the giant plate size sandwich.

"What can I getcha dahlin'?" A female voice asked.

"See Puck." Quinn elbowed him in the ribs. "That's a country drawl."

"Haha." He laughed with her, glad to see her having fun.

Puck accepted her sandwich for her and led her over to the condiment table. Quinn hesitated, feeling a little uncomfortable with all the people around them.

Puck whispered into her ear asking her if she wanted mayo. It broke her tension, Puck knew her so well. To her surprise he didn't slather her sandwich with the mayo, instead handing her the condiment bottle, whispering squeeze into her ear as he guided her other hand holding the bun under the stream of mayo. With anyone else she might have been embarrassed but with Puck she felt empowered that he didn't do everything for her.

He led them towards the barn, food in both of his hands. Quinn held tightly to his elbow and breathed a deep sigh of relief when they stepped into the brightly lit interior. It was lit enough that Quinn could make out the moving bodies around her. She was quickly realizing that getting bumped into and nocked off the path she was trying to walk was the cause of her panic attacks. So being able to see the shadows moving around her was key in keeping the ever present panic at bay.

Puck stopped them just beyond one of the flood lights and held out her chair for her. She blushed at the gentlemanly gesture and settled in, glad to be stationary. Puck kissed her cheek and excused himself to go find them warm apple cider.

Quinn settled back in her seat, her foot tapping the rhythm to Dixie Chick's Traveling Soldier the band was playing far to her left. She realized how sad a song it was, young love waiting for her soldier to come home from war.

"Heya chicka." Santana pulled her from her thoughts. She hooked the chair across the table from her with her foot, pushing it away and nodding for Santana to sit down.

"Where's Puck?" Santana asked noticing the extra plate of food next to Quinn.

Quinn motioned towards the direction Puck disappeared into. "He's getting cider. Do you see him?"

Santana craned her head, spotting both Sam and Puck at the front of the line. Her eyes slowly drifted up and down Sam's body.

"Yeah. He's at the front."

Quinn cleared her throat, "Why does your voice sound off?"

"I don't know what you mean." Santana feigned innocence, pulling her eyes from Quinn's cousin gluteus-maximus.

"Santana." Quinn warned. She didn't need eyesight to see through Santana's bull. She'd always been able to read her friend. Which probably was the source of most of their squabbles over the years.

"Have you seen your cousin? Damn, he looks fine in cowboy boots! I wonder what he looks like only in cowboy boots."

Quinn almost gagged on the french fry she was absently chewing. "God Santana!" She scrubbed at her eyes trying to get the mental image out of her head.

"I thought you didn't like Sam. You always calling him Trouty."

Santana shrugged. "Just because I call him Trouty, doesn't mean I don't want to kiss that big mouth of his. Do you know how big his mouth is?"

Quinn knew she was turning an unappealing shade of green. She didn't go around feeling her cousin's mouth. Had she stepped into the twilight zone?

She reached across the table catching Santana's hand in hers and lowered her voice to a whisper. "I thought you had the hots for Brittany."

"What!" Santana yelped and jerked her hand back but Quinn held on tight.

"Chill!" Quinn hissed at her. She couldn't tell if they had drawn the attention of the people around them. "I'm not going to tell anyone."

"Okay so... Britt's happy with Artie." Santana shrugged helplessly. How could the only blind person she knew see completely through her?

"So what is this?" Quinn motioned behind them. Her hearing picked up Sam's laughter in the crowd moving closer to them.

"I like Sam too okay. I wouldn't be the first person to like two people at the same time."

"Just don't hurt him or I will hunt you down." Quinn threatened.

The rest of the night was actually fun. Puck coaxed her onto the hayride. She sat between his legs, his arm firmly wrapped around her waist. She drifted under the rocking motion of the trailer on the gravel backroads surrounding the orchard. The fresh scent of fall tantalized her, forming a peaceful picture in her mind. Afterwards he led her over to the bonfire. The crackling flames in front of her mesmorized her. It was the perfect date.

They arrived back home with five minutes to spare. Quinn climbed the stairs up to her room feeling peaceful for the first time in a long time. The next day, Puck showed up after lunch to take them to the corn maze.

Quinn felt the tension in her shoulders when she triped over a corn stalk, nearly face planting, at the start of the maze. Puck's strong arms held her firm, keeping her upright. It only took a little goading from Puck with Stacy and Ava joining in for her to climb on his back. He carried her piggy back style through the maze without complaining once about her weight. She had to admit, from that height it was mostly fun. Stacy and Ava had a blast if thier constant giggles were any indication.

They emerged from the corn maze drenched in sweat. Puck settled them on a picnic bench and they enjoyed an early supper of corn dogs, curly fries and pumpkin ice cream.

Afterwards, Stacy grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the petting zoo. Stacy begged her to close her eyes and guess what animal she was touching. The little girl moved her hand among the animals. She guessed the pig named Penelope correctly but floundered over telling a goose from a duck. The textures felt to similar.

They were standing in from of the goat pen when an involuntary shudder made its way through her. She jerked her eyes open, blinking against the sun. She took a step back, the goat that had been nibbling at her hand protesting the lack of contact.

"Quinn?" Puck pulled her tighter into his arm.

"Hmm?" She asked distracted.

"Aren't you having fun?" Stacy asked her.

"Yeah." She plastered on a fake smile for her cousin's sake.

Puck moved them a few feet from the giggling girl's. "What's going on?" His voice booked no argument, but he held her lovingly. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

She shook her head, tears coming unwillingly to her eyes. She swiped angrily at them. This was ridiculous.

"Don't shake your head no Quinn." He coaxed.

"I just.. with my eyes closed. It hit to close to home I guess." She whispered. Her voice getting lost with the wind.

Puck smiled into her hair, tucking his chin on top of her head. "After all, you're flesh and blood. And when you fall, hold onto love. I'll be your eyes." He sang softly into her hair.

He meant it too. He wasn't going to let her give up on herself.

**TBC**

Thank you for all the reviews.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

Slight spoiler alert for season 2 episode Prom Queen. A reminder that Italics a designate a flashback.

**Chapter 21**

_The alarm clock on her nightstand buzzed annoyingly. Judy Fabray rolled over in bed, one hand snaking its way out of its warm cocoon made by blankets and her husband"s arms. The alarm clock cut off suddenly and she pulled her hand back into the bed. Blonde hair settled into her soft pillow, Judy smiled tiredly. Suddenly her eyes shot open realizing that she had actually slept through the night. Panic coursed through her and she rolled quickly out of the bed, landing on her feet next to her nightstand. She flipped on the light next to her bed._

_Russell protested, pulling the blankets over his head._

_"Judy what?" He mumbled against the cotton material. Realization dawned on him as well and he jumped out of bed. He crossed the room to her nightstand to find her staring into a baby tv monitor._

_His large hand found her shoulder and squeezed gently in support. His little girl lay on her hospital bed and it was obvious that she was playing with her lamb content, soft piano music instead of the normal crying drifted through the speaker._

_He pulled her into a hug, smiling into her hair. "Do you realize this is the first night she's slept completely through?" The family had been home from St. Louis Children's Hospital for nearly a month now and the rest that they desperately hoped would come with being in the comfort of their own home was sadly missing._

_While their youngest, Lucy, seemed to be getting stronger everyday, their oldest, Francesca, was going downhill. They'd been called into the middle school three times already for her behavior. This last time Russell, threatened to send her off to an all girl's boarding school. He expected a fit but instead Francesca had quietly said, 'good', before spinning on her heal and leaving the room._

_"I've found a buyer for our season tickets. I hand them over next week." He spoke up, moving away from her to the closet and began pulling out his Cleveland's jersey. "She's doing great this morning. Let's take the girl's to the game."_

_Judy looked like she was going to protest, then watched the monitor once more. Lucy's giggling could be heard through the monitor. "Okay, but if it gets to be too much, we leave."_

_Russell finished dressing while Judy headed into the shower. He stopped by Francesca's room. She was buried underneath her covers, headphones stuck in her ears. He winced at being able to hear the music despite the headphones._

_"Up. We're going to an Indian's game."_

_"But daaad." She whined when he pulled her headphones off._

_"No buts. Get dressed Frannie."_

_He made his way to Lucy's room, wondering about the feasibility of this being a pleasant trip wouldn't end in a fight between the siblings. He opened Lucy's door, flipping on the light. Her giggles trailed off and she stiffened on the bed._

_"It's just me Pumpkin'." He spoke softly._

_"Daddy! I'm not a pumpkin." She called back smiling. Russell grabbed her glasses placing them gently on her face. Lucy lit up when her daddy came mostly into focus._

_"You're my pumpkin." He pulled the blanket down to the end of the bed and gently raised her pajama up, examing the G-tube line for any irritation. Lucy stopped smiling, her face turning serious. He moved over to the dresser, grabbing gauze and medical tape._

_"We are going to an Indian's game today Luc." He told her to distract her while he worked on covering the line to protect it for her bath. Russell hoped the line would come out at Lucy's next appointment in a couple weeks._

_"We are?" She sounded surprised._

_"Yep. How's that sound?" He picked up her thin legs, rotating them and stretching them._

_"Can I have a corn dog daddy?" At least she wasn't crying out as he moved her legs now. Barely discernable underneath his strong hands, Russell could feel her muscles trying to respond against his movements._

_"Absolutely." He quickly agreed. Lucy never talked about food anymore. So he took it as a good sign that her appetite was improving "How about Denny's for breakfast? Does that sound good?" He tempted her._

_"Uh huh."_

_"Arms up." He instructed her to wrap her arms around his neck and easily carried her down the hallway to the girl's shared bathroom. Frannie scowled at her little sister as she moved back into her bedroom._

_Bathing Lucy was pretty much the same as before she became ill. Russell took extra time to examine her skin for sores. When he finished, he sat her on the closed toilet seat, one hand holding on to steady her. Russell grabbed her princess toothbrush and quickly coated it. Judy smiled at them from the doorway._

_Lucy humming past the toothpaste, leaving her mouth foamy._

_"Want me to finish up so you can start breakfast?" Judy asked.  
"I'm getting pancakes and bacon at Denny's!" Lucy spoke up from her position now sitting on the vanity where she was leaning over the sink._

_"Oh you are?" Judy smiled at her._

_"Yeah. Daddy promised._

_"Okay." She followed them back into the bedroom. "Luce. Jersey or t-shirt?"_

_"Can I wear shorts mommy?" It was an innocent question, one that should have been an easy answer but everything was different. Lucy wouldn't be able to tell them if her legs were hot or cold. Russell looked at Judy, the parents carrying on a silent conversation._

_"I guess we can lather her up in sunscreen? Maybe pack a pair of jeans?"_

_Judy brought the shorts and jersery over knowing that Lucy's good mood was about to evaporate._

_"Okay sweetie. Let's sit you up." The bed was raised to a sitting position. Judy helped her into the jersey then quickly combed through Lucy's silky blonde hair, before pulling it up into a ponytail._

_Lucy bit her lip, knowing what was next. Judy helped Lucy with her underwear then handed her daughter the shorts._

_"No mommy." Lucy tossed the shorts towards the end of the bed._

_"Lucy. You know how this works." So far they had yet to get her to actually touch her legs. It was something they were working on with her physical and occupational therapists. They couldn't figure out if she was afraid of her legs or simply starting to forget they existed._

_"No!"_

_"Do you want to go to the game?"_

_Lucy bit her trembling lower lip. Her hand searching the bed until it connected with the lamb. She pulled it tight against her chest._

_"Oh for Heaven's sake Judy. You can start that tomorrow." Russell grabbed the shorts, gently guiding one leg through the shorts then the other. He pulled on the long socks she wore underneath her leg braces to keep her feet from dropping._

_A tear left a wet path down Lucy's pale cheek. The little girl hated the braces. She didn't understand what was happening to her and why she couldn't walk and see._

_Russell stroked his daughters cheek, wiping away the tears. "I'm sure Lucy baby." Quickly he guided one leg and then the next into the braces, making sure the straps were tight enough to provide the correct support but not to tight._

_Lucy hiccuped, the lamb stuck in her clenched fist._

... Glee ...

"Stupid lock." Quinn grumbled under her breath, one hand twirling the stubborn lock on her locker, the other holding the magnifier above it. She made a note to ask Ms. Pillsbury or Mr. Kennedy if the school could arrange for the lock to be switched out to the kind with a key.

This was getting ridiculous that she always had to ask for help with it or be late to her classes. Which she currently was running extremely late to her AP Lit class having spent the last ten minutes fumbling with the damn lock. Normally she'd say screw it but her teacher decided today would be 'quiet reading time' and her Kindle was being held hostage.

She felt the locking mechanism click into place and breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe she wouldn't end up in detention after all.

"Hey Helen." She felt the brush of fabric on her arm as Karofsky reached around her spinning the lock before she could pull down on it. Quinn let her head fall lightly onto her locker, the thump getting lost in the laughter from Karofsy's goons.

"Karofsky." Quinn spoke, not even bothering to raise her head.

"What do we have here?" The magnifier was pulled roughly from her hand, the folder tucked underneath her arm soon followed.

"Don't" She warned, straightening up, even though she knew there was nothing she could do. She was at the mercy of a teacher happening upon them.

Karofsky opened the folder and started laughing. "William Shakespeare and His Early Life. Yawn."

Quinn flinched at what sounded like her magnifier hitting the floor.

"Oops." Karofsky mocked her, stepping on the magnifier. It shattered under his weight.

"Come on guys." Azimio laughed at her while grabbing the folder out of Karofsky's hand and flipping it into the air, scattering its contents around the abandoned hallway.

Silence settled over the hallway in Karofsky's wake. Quinn slowly sunk to floor leaning back against the lockers with a shudder.

... Glee ...

"We have an issue Shu." Principle Figgins spoke from behind his desk.

Will glanced over at Sue wearily before sitting down.

"Will Shuester is leaving McKinley to go to Broadway. Oh, William. I'm devastated. Positively horny with grief. As a going away present here's a spray bottle of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Keep the head lookin' buttery fresh."

The bottle was pushed into his hand by a very smiley Sue Sylvester. Will rolled his eyes before turning to Figgins.

"No. No. Homecoming is in five days and my favorite band cancelled on us." Figgins shut the door behind them, crossing over to his desk.

"What band is that?"

"Air supply William." Figgins said it like it was the most natural thing. "So I'm inviting my next favorite group. New Directions."

"Nope. No way!" Sue spoke up behind them.

Will turned towards her wondering what her angle on all this was and why Principle Figgins called her into this conversation.

"Um, I agree. Normally we would jump at the chance to perform but we have Sectionals in three weeks. We've had to rearrange some routines to accommodate Qui.. um." He glanced back at Sue again. "We are performing some tricky numbers this year and have a lot of rehearsing to do."

Will wasn't sure they were going to be able to pull off Brittany's vision for 'Heal the World'. Sue scowled at him. He turned back to Principle Figgins.

"I won't allow it. I'm school dance coordinator and I was not consulted." Sue shook her head. "Each year I honor the dance with a bowl of my family's secret punch recipe. Made all the more meaningful to me because it's the punch bowl my Grandmother drowned in. And each year that punch bowl is spiked. Such lawlessness will only be encouraged when being screeched at by the Glee Club.

Will could only stare at Sue. That woman only confused him more and more every time she opened her mouth.

Will was still shaking his head as he rounded the corner to his office. He spotted Finn leaning against the locker's near Rachel. The Diva was rifling through her locker and seemed agitated. The two were deep in discussion about something.

"Choir Room. 10 minutes." Will pointed at his watch as he passed them.

"No problem. Mr. Shu." Finn answered, watching the teacher walk away before turning his attention back to Rachel.

"I know what I saw Finn." Rachel slammed her locker, noticing that he was starring down the hallway. She yanked on his hand. "Are you listening to me?"

"Um, Yes." He gave her a lopsided grin. "I dunno Rachel." He shrugged. "Maybe you should just leave Quinn alone."

"It's not about leaving her alone. It's about her safety."

"Rachel, Quinn Fabray does not need protection." Like duh, she's a manipulative bitch. Hadn't Rachel been paying attention during the whole baby fiasco?

"Karofsky is up to something. Don't you think it's a little ironic that I see Karofsky and his gang leaving the very hallway that I find Quinn in with her stuff thrown everywhere?" Rachel fought hard against stomping her foot for emphasis.

"Quinn doesn't want your, our, help. She's made that clear." At one point he cared about her but last year he saw her true colors and it killed any sympathy he had for her.

"She's manipulative. How do we even know she's telling the truth? She's lied before. She's probably lying about being blind too." It made sense to him, though what she was trying to gain from this, he didn't know. Sympathy maybe? People's pity? Her fall down the social ladder last year was Emmy worthy.

Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing. Sure Finn could be dense, but how could he not see that Quinn couldn't, well, see for lack of a better term? Rachel sighed, remembering the photos in Quinn's house of a very sick young Quinn, the way she searched the ground for the thrown sheet music, and her tentative steps in the dark library.

Finn hadn't seen Quinn hours before crawling down the hallway, tears streaming down her face as she felt around on her hands and knees for the papers Rachel saw strewn over the linoleum floor. Rachel had wanted to go to her and help but she couldn't get her feet to move. In the end, she simply backed away before Quinn noticed her. She prayed that this would humble Quinn enough to ask for help in the future.

"If your are so worried about her why don't you talk to Puck or Sam?" Finn asked, tucking her under his arm as they neared the choir room.

"No way Finn. Quinn's posse is in full force. They hate me. You're Puck's best friend. You could talk to him."

At one point he was Puck's best friend, Finn thought. But now, ever since Puck hooked up with Quinn again, he'd been a jerk to him. No, he wasn't Puck's best friend anymore, Sam was.

"Just drop it Rachel." Finn stopped her, looking her in the eyes. "Please?"

Slowly Rachel nodded, not liking it but not having any other choice.

... Glee ...

Judy crossed over to the locked liquor cabinet, the chrystal glass hanging loosely in her left hand. She tapped her fingers nervously against the glass window pain then rubbed at her temples, swallowing hard before crossing back to the otherside of the room.

She sighed, heading back to the cabinet and quickly unlocked it.

Judy emerged into the kitchen with an armful of liquor bottles. They clinked enticingly as she set them down on the counter next to the sink. She opened the bottle of scotch first, sniffed it. It called her name, her throat clenched in anticipation, the smell igniting her senses. Shaking her head sadly, she turned her wrist over watching the liquid swirl down the drain. She broke out in a cold sweat as her good friend dissappeared. Before she could chicken out, she opened the next bottle and the next until all the alcohol was dissapeared down the drain. The bottles were tossed into the trash can, tied up, and taken to the container in the garage.

Judy steadfastly ignored her shaking hands and made her way back into the living room and the open photo album. She brushed her fingers across the photo of her family dressed in Indian's jerseys, smiling outside the stadium.

_Twenty-minutes later into the road trip from Belleville to Cleveland, Russell turned into the Denny's in Mansfield. The van came to a stop in a handicap space near the front of the restaurant._

_Frannie slid the side door open and climbed over her sister, too eager to escape the confines of the van. At thirteen, she was too cool to be seen with family and this 'forced fun' day at the Cleveland Indian's game was embarrassing. Looking around she saw the parking lot was packed and she could see a line of people waiting in front of the store. Great now everyone would be starring at them! It's like no one had ever seen a kid in a wheelchair before. It was embarrassing. Frannie couldn't wait until the day she could escape Hicksville Ohio._

_Lucy woke up as the van turned off the road into Denny's parking lot. The wheels barely stopped moving before Frannie was elbowing her in the ribs as she climbed over her._

_"God Frannie! You could wait until I get out." Lucy yelled after her retreating form._

_"Lucy Fabray what did I say about using the Lord's name in vain." Judy scolded, appalled to hear such language coming from her innocent five year old. "And Frannie stop teaching your sister that language."_

_"Yeah right. We'd be still out here tomorrow." Frannie bit back, acid lacing her words._

_"Francine Marie!" Both the parents yelled at the same time._

_Russell shared a look with Judy. The first five miles were spent in silence, Frannie listening to the garbage she called music through her headphones, Lucy regaling them with a fairly complex story of Lamby's adventures last night. Once Russell forced her to turn her music off and participate, the girls started in on each other and were getting worse by the second. "Behave you two."_

_Lucy bit her lip hard before dropping her head into her hand. Her sister was always being rude and a meany to her. Russell finished pulling the child-size wheechair from the back of van. He would deal with his moody teenager later._

_"Daddy carry me?" Lucy begged, sticking out her bottom lip._

_"No. You're getting too big Lucy." She was still skin and bones barely weighing 35 pounds. He could easily carry her all day but she needed to get used to being in the chair, which she hated._

_A very stressful two hours later, Russell pulled the van into the parking lot at Progressive field. Lucy hummed with excitement not even complaining about the wheelchair as Russell fastened her into it._

_Outside the stadium, Slider, the gigantic fuschia colored furry mascot took notice of Lucy. Judy knew if her daughter could she would have been jumping up and down with excitement. She watched in awe as Lucy's fingers tangled in the mascot's stringy hair, a serious look of concentration replacing the smile that had been present almost all morning. Her daughter's head tilted to the side, eyes closed as her little hand patted and poked at the material. Beside her Frannie grumbled something inaudible. Judy didn't really want to know what her teenager said. Instead, she pulled out her camera capturing the look of innocent wonder on little Lucy's face._

The front door to the large house slammed open and closed violently, jolting Judy from her memories. One hand cluched her chest, the other kept the photo album from slipping off her lap when she jumped.

"Quinn just slow down okay." Sam's voice called over the stomping of steps up the stairs.

"Leave me alone Sam!" Her daughter's voice was angry, yet had a slight quiver in it. A moment later Quinn's bedroom door slammed shut.

"Hey Aunt Judes." Sam walked into the living room.

Judy flipped the album shut and stood up. She pointed at the ceiling. "What's going on?"

Sam shrugged helplessly. "I dunno. She won't say but she's being a bi-ear. She's being a bear."

"Sam?" Judy asked. As much as she was glad that Quinn overcame her paralysis and was turning into a remarkably brave young adult, Judy wished she could have kept her as innocent as five year old Lucy in the photos she'd spent all day reminiscing over.

"You look after her right? At school."

Sam nodded and watched his aunt smile at him before leaving the room. He flopped onto the couch. "Yeah as much as Ms. Hardhead will let me." He mumbled into the empty room.

**TBC**

Please review for me. What do you think?


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

Little bit shorter chapter this time but I didn't to tack on the next part with this one. Enjoy and please review!

**Chapter 22**

Judy ascended the stairs a little after 6:30 that night, a dinner plate and a can of coca-cola in her hands. The door to her daughters room was closed. Quinn's refusal to leave her room for dinner was the first sign that she was in a foul mood, her refusal to come downstairs and play the piano for Stacy the second. Now, the door that she usually left slightly ajar was shut firmly, a sure sign that Quinn didn't want company.

"Quinn." Judy called softly, creaking the door open slightly in case she was asleep. The door caught on something and Judy pushed harder. Quinn's bed was empty and her school books were tossed all around the room. Judy sighed and bit back the urged to rake her hand through her hair. Sophisticated women didn't do that. Instead, she toed the door close with her foot. Judy bent down and picked up the stuffed lamb that had blocked the door. It was worn ragged with age, marred by her attempts to stitch it back together over and over again.

She crossed over to the bed, dropping the lamb onto Quinn's pillow and placed the food on her desk. She frowned at the broken magnifier, its lens shattered and frame bent. It was definitely beyond repair.

The lights were off but the room was bathed in an amber glow, the sun setting over western Ohio in the large picture window. The window, and natural light it provided, was one of the main reasons the Fabray's purchased this particular house. Sunsets and sunrises were spectacular.

Judy crossed over to the window where Quinn was sitting on the window seat, her knees pulled up to her chest, her head laying on them. She didn't turn from looking out the window when Judy brushed her fingers through Quinn's blonde hair. Her eyes puffy from crying and her hands clenched into tight fists, fingernails digging deeply into her palms.

"Scooch," Judy coaxed, her hand on Quinn's back feeling how thin her daughter was getting. Quinn heaved a great sigh but scooted forward without real protest. She didn't have the energy anymore.

Judy climbed in behind her daughter, tucking Quinn's head in the crook between her chin and shoulder. She lightly kissed Quinn's temple fully expecting her to pull away, instead Quinn relaxed into the touch, her shoulders slumping. Judy didn't miss the slight hitch in Quinn's breathing. Idly, one hand stroked through Quinn's hair, starting at the scalp and moving to the ends letting the hair flutter down. Judy didn't know who was relaxing more by the repeated action, herself or Quinn.

"Bad day at school?" She asked quietly. Quinn snorted but didn't offer any information.

"What happened to your magnifier?" Judy fought to keep her tone even.

"Are you going to ground me again?"

Judy winced, knowing she'd messed up so many times in the past. "That depends on what happened to it." She wouldn't condone Quinn's temper tantrums but maybe she could handle it better from now on.

"I dropped it and it got stepped on." Quinn said, her voice small to her own ears.

"Hmm." Quinn stiffened waiting for her mother's reaction, but Judy kept stroking her hair.

"I'll order a new one tonight."

Quinn relaxed against her mother, having expected to be reprimanded for her 'carelessness'. Judy just accepting her explanation for once was shocking.

"Mom?" She asked feeling slightly empowered by her mother's reaction.

"Yes sweetie."

"Can you order..." She heaved a great sigh before admitting. "I need a stronger lens."

Judy's hand faltered for a brief second, her thoughts swirling like the liquor she tossed down the drain earlier that day, before brushing through blonde hair again.

She nodded against her daughter's head and Quinn relaxed back into her. Quinn had no idea why her mother was being so nice to her about this. She had to have seen the books she'd tossed in an angry fit of rage earlier.

"Quinnie, is your eyesight getting worse?" Quinn flinched again, her shoulders going rigid and started to pull away. She didn't want to talk about her eyesight with anyone. What did it matter?

Judy tugged her back down and started humming lightly. She used to do this all the time when Quinn was in and out of the hospital. It was the only thing she found that would calm her daughter.

"Quinn we need to know." It was said calmly and without pity, but Quinn didn't want to deal with any of this. Judy continued humming. The sun was almost completely behind the horizon now casting deep shadows into the room. Neither of them felt the urge to break the embrace to turn on the lights.

Judy closed her eyes trying to imagine her daughter's world. It was disorientating but she kept them close, listening to the creaks of the old house, her niece and nephew moving around the rooms down the hall, Sam's soft strumming of his guitar drifting up the stairs and through the crack under Quinn's door. She smelled the sweet sent of her daughter's shampoo just under her nose. Judy opened her eyes to the deep shadows in the room.

"I don't really know. Reading is harder. I..." Quinn's voice broke, her head dropping into her hands.

"Shh. Lucy Q."

"It's all my fault. I deserve this."

"What?" Judy didn't mean to yell or sound so incredulous. Quinn was practically shaking in her arms. "Why would you say that?"

"Beth." The name came out a sweet caress. The love in Quinn's voice was obvious. The admission caused a violent shudder to shake her daughter's body. Judy pulled her tighter, wrapping her arms around Quinn's body.

They never talked about Beth. Whether it was due to denial or simply getting lost in the aftermath of Quinn's declining health, Judy didn't know. Probably a combination of the two.

"Oh baby. You made a mistake, we all do." Judy pulled a Kleenex from her slack's pocket and pressed it into Quinn's hands.

But Quinn was violently shaking her head no in response to her mother's words. "I have to live... w-with my mis..takes the r-rest of my... life." The words came out in hiccuping hitches, Quinn's voice barely audible over the sobs.

Judy was at a loss for what to do. The last time she'd seen Quinn sob like this, Russell was kicking her out of her home. She closed her eyes against the memory. Her hands shook, her throat burned for the sting of alcohol as it slid easily down; an IV drip soothing her soul.

"We always knew you would probably lose most of your vision. We just... became complacent when you'd been without a relapse for so long. I'm sorry that we didn't prepare you better. I'd take it from you in a heartbeat but I can't baby girl."

Quinn stayed silent, relaxing back into her mother's arms again. Eventually her breathing started to even out with exhaustion. Her mother's fingers resuming their rhythmic stroking, relaxing her even further.

Judy watched through the glow of the moonlight drifting into Quinn's room as her beautiful baby girl succumbed to sleep. She coaxed Quinn to her feet, not bothering to turn on the lights and guided her into the bed. Silently she climbed in behind Quinn, feeling her daughter relax into her and began humming.

Quinn mumbled something before pulling herself from the relaxing haze of her mother's humming and gentle fingers in her hair. This was important.

"Mommy?"

The term of endearment bore Judy's heart just a little more. Quinn stopped using that term long ago. It only emerged when she was insecure or deeply upset.

"Yes sweetie."

"Thank you."

"Whatever for?" Judy continued stroking Quinn's hair, the action soothing her just as much as Quinn.

Just when she thought Quinn slipped fully into sleep, Quinn spoke softly. "Thank you for not drinking today." Judy frowned slightly, the crow's feet at the corner's of her eyes crinkling. She wondered how her daughter knee that. Quinn had stormed upstairs as soon as she arrived home.

"I don't smell alcohol on you." Quinn mumbled into her stuffed lamb as if she knew Judy's thoughts.

"I tossed all the liquor today, baby. No more. I'm going to find an AA meeting. I'm going to do right by you." Judy's voice cracked.

"I'm proud of you mom. We'll get you through this." Quinn scooted tighter into her mother's embrace.

"I'm proud of you too Quinnie. More than I'll ever be able to show you."

Quinn relaxed more, sleep calling to her, wrapped in her mother's arms.

**"Lullaby, and good night, in the skies stars are bright. May the moon's silvery beams, bring you sweet dreams. Close you eyes, now and rest, may these hours be blessed. Till the sky's bright with dawn, when you wake with a yawn." **Judy's humming turned to a softly sung song, feeling Quinn drifting further into sleep.

**"Lullaby, and good night, you are mother's delight. I'll protect you from harm, and you'll wake in my arms."**

Quinn let sleep take her into dreamland completely relaxed, feeling the soothing vibrations of her mothers sweet singing against her back, taking her into the innocence of Lucy once again.

**TBC**

The song is Brahm's Lullaby by Jewel.


	23. Chapter 23

A little language in this chapter. Thank you for all the reviews! Seriously, they mean everything to keeping me going.

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 23**

_Judy jolted awake, trying to figure, in her sleep induced haze, what startled her awake. She rolled over to ask Russell if he heard anything but his side of the bed was empty. Her hand ran over the sheets, feeling how cold they were. He'd been gone a long time. Sighing, she listened closely to the sounds of the mostly empty house._

_Frannie was set to return from summer camp that evening. Money was super tight but everyone agreed that the teen needed to get away and she'd been eyeing the camp for young artists for years. She was finally at the age to attend and everyone pitched in to send her to it. She'd been gone for two months now and Judy couldn't wait to see her oldest again._

_Russell threw himself into work to provide for the family. He worked longer hours with more high profile and higher paying clients. He was barely home anymore, spending weeks at a time in Cleveland._

_That left her alone with Lucy. The little girl was improving in stamina and health but she missed her daddy so much. Some days, Judy felt like she lost her whole family to this mystery disease._

_Getting up, she quickly dressed and went through her morning routine. This was going to be a long day, Lucy's school orientation followed by physical therapy. Her daughter, who adored kindergarten had thrown her worse temper tantrum yet when she was informed that school was starting again. Judy shuddered remembering the major 'flip out' as Frannie would have called it._

_"Luce?" She called out, not seeing her daughter on the bed. The pink walker and braces sat next to it in their normal resting spot. She turned to the corner of the room. The wheelchair was still there as well._

_Sighing, she crossed over to the walk in closet, the door firmly shut. Whenever her girls were upset they'd seek refuge in the large closet that connected the two rooms._

_"Luce? Come out of there." She called but was met by silence. She raised her head, counting to ten, before crawling into the closet. The closer she moved into the middle of the closet the louder the sniffling became. She couldn't see anything but her hand connected with Lucy's thin leg. The sniffling stopped._

_"What are you doing in here Lucy Q?"_

_"I don't want to go." Lucy crawled into her lap. Judy reached down feeling the rug burns on her daughters knees. Satisfied, that she wasn't bleeding again, she focused on her daughter. The sobbing stopped but she could still feel the small hiccups coursing through Lucy's thin body._

_She wrapped her arm around Lucy, pulling her into a tight embrace. "Why?"_

_"I wanna be in Sammy's class." She whined._

_Ahh. Now Judy understood. Weeks before they'd been visited by the special education teacher. After extensive testing, it was determined that she would be in the special education classroom this year to catch up._

_"I know baby. This is just temporary." Judy didn't know if this was true but that was moot point at this moment._

Quinn woke slowly, a feeling of complete contentment surrounding her. The morning sunlight warmed her face and she snuggled deeper into her bedding. Slowly her senses woke and she realized she was still wrapped in her mother's warm arms.

She slipped her feet over the bed and promptly stubbed her foor into something hard. Bending down, her hand connected with one of her textbooks. She'd forgotten about that. Quinn set the book down on the desk frowning as the magnifier crunched underneath.

Judy woke up when Quinn moved out of her arms, immediately feeling the loss. She watched her daughter drop to the ground on her hands and knees. In the morning light she could see the mess Quinn made of her room yesterday. Her textbooks were thrown to all corners of the room. Paper littered every inch of the floor. Her heart ached when she realized how hard of a time Quinn was having locating the objects.

Without a word, she moved from the bed, stooping down to help her daughter. Truth be told, the last night, she slept better than she had maybe in years. She felt refreshed and ready to tackle the challenges of the day.

They worked in silence, Quinn biting her lip. She heard her mother drop the magnifier into the waste basket.

"Quinn." Judy waited until Quinn turned in her direction. She couldn't read her daughter's thoughts anymore. At one point in time, Quinn wore her heart on her sleeve. Communicating with her had been much easier back then.

"Hmm?" Quinn went back to searching for all her books and papers.

"If you can wait until next Thursday, we can stop by the Cleveland Sight Center after your treatment and we can pick out a magnifier then. Do you think you can wait?"

Quinn didn't want to wait, she didn't want to visit the sight center and she didn't want to pick out a new magnifier. She felt the anger starting to build again.

"Sure."

It was mumbled, effectively ending the conversation.

Judy watched the door to Quinn's bathroom shut with a quiet click. Judy clasp her shaking hands into fists.

... Glee ...

Noah Puckerman stepped out of the steaming showers clad in only a white towel, wrapped loosely around his waist. He strutted towards the rows of red lockers, stopping briefly in front of the full-length mirrors. Smirking, he flexed both his biceps before turning and flexing his pecks. Oh yeah, the Puckster still has it.p

Puck turned away, still smirking, and bumped straight into Karofsky. The smirk faded from his face being replaced quickly with anger. He shoved Karofsky back a step, before moving around him towards his locker. Out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw Karofsky checking out his butt as he walked away. Puck shuddered, giving himself a mental shake to knock lose that thought. In the mirror two sets of eyes locked on each other.

Puck winced as the air left his lungs, his back slamming into the lockers. "You say a word..."

He didn't have enough room to pull his arm back to clobber Karofsky, so he shoved with all his might, sending Karofsky back a step.

"Or what?"

Karofsky shoved back, pinning him against the wall. He smirked, "I'll make Quinn's life hell."

Puck saw red, furry taking over him. He lowered his shoulder, ramming into Karofsky's gut. Karofsky stumbled backwards.

"You do anything to her, you'll be in traction for the rest of your life!" Puck yelled.

"Whatever Fucker-man." Karofsky's laugh followed him out of the locker room.

... Glee ...

The wrench tightened around the nut and Puck pulled with all his might, the nut giving way underneath the force of his weight... his anger. To say he was pissed off, was the understatement of the century. Frustrated, he tossed the wrench across the garage. It crashed to the floor, knocking over several empty WD-40 cans in the process.

"What the..."

Puck's head spun around at Quinn's startled gasp. Shame immediately coursed through him. She was white as a sheet, her eyes wide and frantically searching, darting rapidly back and forth, in the dark garage. One hand held to her chest and the other gripped the edge of the workbench.

He quickly grabbed the rag, wiping grease from his hand as he crossed over to the stool she was sitting on. He grabbed her hand from her chest, looping their fingers together.

"Jesus Quinn, I'm sorry." He knew she couldn't see much in his garage and he'd still been inconsiderate and scared her with his stupidity.

"What was that?" She motioned behind him, her voice unnaturally high. Puck, reached out to brush a fallen strand of hair from her forehead, but she pulled back at first touch.

"I threw a wrench." He admitted. Puck tugged her into a standing position, turned around and sat on her seat, pulling her onto his lap. She closed her eyes, relaxing into his embrace, the corner of her lips quirking up. He noticed she did that a lot, closing her eyes in dark rooms, and he didn't want to think about what that meant. Not now when he was so angry. Not ever if he was honest with himself.

"Why?" It was a simple question, asked in the most simplest of ways; quietly and without accusation.

"Hmmpf." He mumbled into her hair, his chin resting on the top of her head. He didn't want to talk about it.

"I guess we both have anger issues lately." She replied simply, her shoulders shrugging. She knew what it was like to keep things in until you implode.

Puck chuckled, "Sam said it sounded like you were destroying your room last night."

He didn't expect her to reply and was surprised when she chuckled slightly.

"I did."

"Why?" He repeated her question. She arched her eyebrow at him, turning slightly. She'd give anything to see his face in that moment. As if he read her thoughts, he gently brought her hand to his face. Her fingers traced his cheek, ghosting over his eyes and settling on his lips.

"Hmmpf." She repeated his answer, feeling the corners of his lips curl up in response.

They settled into comfortable silence, Quinn listening to Puck's heartbeat through his shirt.

"So... You shouldn't take your anger out on unsuspecting wrenches and...?" The teasing tone in her voice made him grin.

"Oil cans." Her eyebrows rose at that, trying to remember the layout of the garage. If she remembered correctly, the oil cans were all the way in the far corner of the garage.

"Impressive." She replied dryly, feeling her chuckle.

"Ah and you, Quinnie, shouldn't take your anger out on... What did you take your anger out on exactly?" She shuddered as he mocked her with the ridiculous nickname her family insisted on calling her.

"My textbooks."

"Nevermind, textbooks are evil. Good job Quinnie the textbook slayer."

Quinn snorted then burst out laughing.

Puck relaxed, the pure innocent sound of her laughter soothing his anger.

"Karofsky." She whispered into the garage. He tightened his hold on her. "What he do?"

"He trashed my magnifier, threw my papers all over the hallway. I'm not even sure if I found them all." She admitted.

Puck fought to keep the anger at bay but Quinn noticed. Her grip on his hand tightened.

"When?"

"What?" She's confused by this reaction, his question. Surely, he should have been pacing around the garage threatening his revenge on Karofsky.

"Yesterday, right after lunch." He visibly relaxed which increased her confusion. "Why?"

"Thank God." Puck breathed out.

"What? I'm confused." She turned fully, her eyes searching in the dark even though there was no way she'd be able to see him. Her hands reached out catching his and squeezing them.

Puck gritted his teeth so hard that he almost broke a molar. Quinn looking at him with so much love and trust. He shook his head trying to block out the image of Karofsky hurting Quinn that his over active imagination kept conjuring up.

"Does Karofsky have anything to do with your knuckles?" Her fingers ghosted over his bruised scabbed knuckles.

Puck's breath caught in his throat. Her hazel eyes shifted up towards his. If he didn't know better, he would have sworn she could see him. She blinked, her eyes drifting shut but the concerned look remained ever present.

"I caught him checking out my butt in the locker room."

"What?" She screeched.

"Don't sound so surprised, the Puckasaurus has a nice ass." Puck laughed at the shocked look on her face.

"I know that." She chuckled when he pulled her back down onto his lap. "When did this happen? What are you going to do about it?"

"This morning and nothing. I'm not doing anything about it. Neither are you, nor Sam or Finn... Anyone! Forget that I even said anything." He didn't mean for his anger to come out but she flinched back.

"I'm sorry. No one can know. I shouldn't have mentioned it to you. Forget I said anything."

Quinn felt so confused. She heard fear in Puck's voice. Yes, Puck's hard ass persona was mostly show but she'd never expect him to be afraid of Dave Karofsky.

She traced a scab on his knuckle. "Did you punch him?"

"No. The locker."

"Puck, how many locker's now have your fist imprinted into them now?" She asked dryly.

Puck chuckled, rubbing his chin. "Hmm... 10? 20?"

She arched her eyebrow.

"Seriously Quinn. This has to stay between us."

"Okay?" She sobered up, resting her forehead on his but didn't bother opening your eyes.

"I don't want you to be alone at school at all."

"That's going to be impossible Noah."

He stood up, making his way over to the wrench.

"I'm serious Quinn. I don't know what Karofsky is up to but I don't like it."

Quinn, listened to his voice get further away as he spoke. Begrudgingly, she held up her hands in surrender.

"How did we become the sole focus of Karofsky's attention?" Quinn asked, her head turning to follow the sound of him moving around the garage.

"I don't know?" Puck focused on the stuck nut, pretending it was Karofsky's face.

"We're lucky like that I guess."

God, sometimes it was torture having her other senses heightened to compensate for her failing eyesight. She blushed hearing him grunt, her mind going completely south, all thoughts of Karofsky vanishing.

TBC

Thoughts? Reviews?


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 24**

"Five. Six. Seven. Eight." Brittany's voice called out loudly in the mostly empty choir room. Her hands clapped out the beat.

Quinn felt Puck's strong hand slide up her starting from her hip. She swayed her hip into the touch and felt him mimic the action from behind her. His hand crested her ribcage, guiding her right arm slowly up into the air, stretching out above her head, until he enveloped her delicate hand in his. At the same time, his right hand slid over her shoulder and down her front slowly coming to a rest on her left hip. He was literally wrapped around her. His breath tickled her ear and Quinn fought to steady her breathing as her stomach fluttered at the contact. She focused on Brittany's voice calling out instructions.

"Back with your left and..."

They moved in rhythm, swaying back a step.

"Now your right."

Together they moved back a step.

"And turn."

Quinn sucked in a breath moving up onto the toes of her left foot as Puck spun her. All contact was loss, except for her hand in Puck's, as she went twirling into the darkness, losing all orientation in the room. Suddenly, Puck's right hand cought her on the hip stopping her spin.

They reversed the action of moving forward, swaying the right leg forward and then the left. Puck's right hand slowly withdrew from her hip as his left hand moved down her arm, gently encasing her wrist, lowering her arm as he swayed his hips. She felt his hand move up her wrist until his larger palm engulfed the back of her hand moving her hand forward. Suddenly she felt the cold metal of the mic stand on her palm. She curled her fingers around it. He repeated the same actions until her right palm connected with the stand. She barely had time to grip the stand before he moved away from her, his shoes sliding in rhythm to the song.

Quinn tried to calm her breathing, her thoughts, her emotions at the sudden loss of contact with him. Behind her she could hear his panting gasps and feel his hands hovering inches from her. The dance moves weren't that complicated or physically demanding. It wasn't the dancing that made them short of breath.

A blush spread across her face, turning her ears red. After Beth, she thought that part of her would always remain dormat.

"Geez Blondie, that might be sexy if you didn't look like you just swallowed a lemon."

Quinn coughed, one hand pulling the blindfold off her head. Go figure Santana would throw a bucket of verbal ice water on her.

"Maybe if you didn't wear the blindfold Q it'll be easier?" Brittany stepped up, thrusting a water bottle into her hand. She greedily sucked on it.

"Doesn't matter Brit. I can't see anything on the stage."

Puck had stayed silent, shooting Santana a death glare over Quinn's shoulder. He was met by a shrug. The blindfold in Quinn's hand was being squeezed to death. He silently pulled it from her hand, slipping his in its correct place. Quinn relaxed slightly but he still didn't like the self-deprecating tone in her voice.

"Oh. I remember, your unicorn is lost in a land of darkness."

Brittany was innocent but in that moment, Puck wanted to yell at her. Quinn's shoulders slumped.

"Yeah." She muttered. "I don't know why Mr. Shu insists I do this. It should be Rachel singing, not me."

"That's bull Q!" Santana marched up to Quinn, grabbing one wrist and in the process startling her. Santana immediately chastised herself for being so thoughtless. Her trip to the mall with Quinn had been very enlightening. She was so pissed at the unfairness of this happening to her homegirl that she'd put her hand through her bedroom wall when she got home.

"Manhands shouldn't get all the thunder Quinn. Anyone of us deserves a chance and you sound amazing Quinn. We just have to work harder to make the choreography work Q." Santana tried a softer approach but Quinn wouldn't look at her. She tried not to be hurt. She couldn't even begin to imagine what Quinn was feeling.

Silently she took Brittany's hand leaving Quinn with Puck but she couldn't fight down the growing worry inside.

... Glee ...

The wooden pencil tapped endlessly on the tan tabletop. Quinn bit her thumbnail nervously, her brow furrowed, her head cocked to one side in concentration. The tapping ceased for a moment before it picked up again. Soon, her foot picked up the tapping rhythm also.

Beside her, Santana sent a concerned glance towards Quinn. She was openly starring at one of her only friends but she didn't care. Never before would she have said that Quinn looked haggard but today was one day that 'never' became true. Quinn looked positively beat. Dark circles were prominent under her eyes. Santana was pretty sure that even if Quinn chose to wear makeup anymore she wouldn't have been able to completely get rid of the darkness under her eyes.

Quinn's head was turned her direction but Santana knew Quinn wasn't seeing her. Her hazel eyes were blankly starring into nothingness, her face a blank mask and her lips pulled into a thin line. Quinn looked stressed. It startled Santana to look into eyes that weren't focusing back on her. She forced herself to look away suddenly ashamed at herself for starring.

Quinn could feel Santana's eyes on her but didn't acknowledge her. She felt run down and couldn't muster up the energy to care. The headache she had all morning was continuing to linger and she was finding it intensifying exponentially by the second.

The thought of sticking around the rest of the day made her stomach lurch and the familiar tightening in her chest caused her to pull in a steadying breath. She was not going to have a panic attack.

"Psst."

She arched an eyebrow toward Santana in reply. If she tried to speak she probably would loose her lunch all over the poor soul who made the unfortunate mistake of sitting in front of her.

Santana breathed a sigh of relief when Quinn arched her glorious eyebrow at her showing some form of life that wasn't the annoying pencil tapping.

"You reds for the Pep Rally?" Of all the lame pep rally's her stupid high school seemed to love, the Homecoming Pep Rally actually wasn't half bad. The football jocks made fun of themselves with really stupid games and then at the end all the girlfriends threw pies made of the nastiest ingredients into the guys faces. She was always game for that. Especially when the guys that didn't have girlfriends had to face the Cheerios.

"I called dibs on Karofsky for pie in the face. Gonna teach that ass a lesson."

A moment later Santana watches Quinn's eyes widen in surprise and sharpen. "I thought you were going to with Sam to the dance?"

Santana wanted to laugh at her but stopped herself just short. Those two were so protective of each other. It was cute. Quinn wouldn't appreciate being called cute though.

"I'm going to the dance with him Q. Chill. We all agreed dick-wad needs a lesson."

Her eyes wide again comically, but Santana wouldn't mention that either. "You can't." She whispered frantically, her voice rising. Santana picked up on the increased breathing pattern.

"Girls. Be quite or you will both be in detention." The teacher reprimands them.

"Uh." Quinn shot to her feet, her back pack already in her hands as she's shoving her folder into it. The chairs around her squeek and she literally feels the whole class turning to stare at her. Her face flushes red.

Santana's hand grips her arm but she pulls away stumbling slightly before righting herself. The walls are starting to surround and press in on her. Someone in the back of the room snorts back laughter.

"I..." Her mouth feels full of cotton as her throat struggles to make any sound, her Adam's apple bobbing furitavely in a futile attempt.

"Quinn are you okay?" Her teacher is way too close and she stumbles the few steps to the door, forcing herself not to break into a sprint for fear of misjudging the open door and slamming into the wall. Then she wouldn't just be the freak show but also the laughing stock of McKinley too.

"Nurse... I need to go." She doesn't wait for a reply, her feet automatically taking her the opposite direction of the nurses office. Behind her Santana's angry voice, yelling at the teacher to let her go, drifts after her. She stumbles through the halls as if the hounds of hell are chasing her. It's macabre but deep within her she thinks that maybe they are.

Her feet only stop moving when she crests the edge of the woods at the outer limit of McKinley's property. Her mind refuses to recognize just how much harder that journey was for her now than it was just months before. But her heart knows.

Quinn sucks in ragged breaths trying to calm the panic that is swelling inside her. God she was going to end up in detention again for this stunt. Tears sprang to her eyes and she angrily swiped at them. Her mom was doing so well and her stupid actions, after all Principle Figgens threatened parental involvement with just one more trip to detention, were bound to send Judy sprinting back to the bottle.

She's tried so hard her whole life to live up to her daddy's self-imposed image for her family. She shouldn't care. After her dad kicked her out last year, she really shouldn't care. But she does. And it hurts knowing that she will always cause everyone to worry about her; to go out of their way to accommodate her. Quinn feels like she is going off her rocker with the stress of everything.

A shudder rips through her. Even with Noah's letter jacket on, the late October air is biting. She pulled herself into a little ball, fighting the shivers that were coursing through her.

Her phone buzzed deep within the backpack that she dropped carelessly to the ground. She's pretty sure a search party has been sent for her by now but she's never told anyone of this spot.

The falling leaves crunch around her and Quinn finds comfort in the pine needles digging into her hands as she clenches painfully to keep herself grounded in this reality. Slowly her chest stops heaving and her breathing evens out as the panic attack subsides. It's been forever since she's had one and it startled her more than she thought it would.

Her head is pounding in rhythm to the constantly vibrating cell phone. Her gut instinct is to throw the phone as far away as possible because it is interrupting her peace. But she wasn't about to go crawling around a forest she can't even see in on her hands and knees looking for it when her temper tantrum is over.

Birds are chirping nearby and she recognizes a few by their song. When she was four, before this mess of her life became her reality, her Nana Angela took her down to the Wayne National Forest to bird watch. Imagine trying to keep a four year old quiet to bird watch? But she was fascinated by the melodic songs the different birds made. So she kept quiet. And then her nana brought the binoculars to her eyes, focusing the and her world exploded in color like her sisters paintings. It stole her little four year old breath away.

Days like today, she realized she'd never be that four year old again. Her child-like innocence gone long before it's time. In the wake Lucy turned into Quinn. But who was Quinn turning into? She felt so bitter some days, walking down the halls of McKinley, listening to the laughter around her. She felt so alone too, despite her friends rallying around her.

Next week's appointment with her specialist weighed heavy on her too. More than she was admitting to anyone, especially herself. Her hands shook and she curled in tighter on herself.

"Hey Cuz."

The shriek that burst forth would have given Rachel Berry a run for her money. A twig snapped under the weight of her shifting to glare in the direction of the low chuckles coming from the opening in the woods. Go figure Sam would figure she would take solace in the outdoors.

"Yeah that was her scream. No, she's fine. Tell Coach Bieste I'm with her. No Puck it's cool."

Listening to a one sided conversation was annoying, especially since she just wanted to listen to the birds chirping.

"Don't you have a convo to be at?"

Sam ignored the edge to her voice and walked farther into the clearing. "Scooch." He nudged her with the toe of his sneaker until she rolled her eyes and sat up. He sat down behind her leaning his back against hers.

"I could ask you the same thing but instead here we are." There was no condemnation in his voice. Never condemnation with his cousin. Growing up he simply didn't understand it and now that he was older, he couldn't begin to imagine what it was like to walk in her shoes. The selfish part of him was glad and very thankful it wasn't him. He carried a lot of guilt about that.

She didn't respond, just shrugged her shoulders. Sam rocked his hips, settling further into the leaf covered ground to listen to the birds around them, his legs shoved out before him and his feet crossed at the ankles. If things weren't so messed up, he might enjoy the friendly solitude of his cousin's company.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

She grunted, pushing back against him slightly. They sat in comfortable silence for a long time. She lost track how long, listening to Sam's steady breathing, the warmth of his back warming her.

He let her sit in silence for a long time. It wasn't until the sounds of their classmates exiting their school before he spoke.

He turned towards her. "Quinn." He began, keeping his voice calm and reasurring. "Whatever it is that's going on... You don't have to do it by yourself."

He felt her shoulder's slump slightly against his and fought against himself to keep from turning around. Instead he laced his fingers through hers, squeezing gently. After a moment she squeezed back and he smiled.

"You know that right?" He had to make sure she knew.

"I..." Her voice cracked. "I can't... You'll find out soon."

If there was anything in life he hated more than anything it was hearing Quinn cry. It broke his heart and made him want to break everything in his path just to take her tears away.

"Okay." They sat in silence, taking comfort in each other until he had to get his stuff for the game. Once home, she trudged up the stairs slowly and shut herself in her room. The lock clicking shut echoed loudly in the hallway and the pit in his stomach that Sam had been trying desperately to keep at bay finally opened up threatening to swallow him whole.

**TBC**

Please review? Do you think more than just the situation with Karofsky is going on? I need thoughts and opinions though we are starting to bridge the gap between this part and the other parts I've already written.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

Please note there is strong language in this chapter.

**Chapter 25**

Quinn grasped the straps of her backpack tightly in her hand, her fingernails turning white from the pressure. She leaned her head back against the headrest as the Evan's van moved through the streets of Lima towards McKinley High School.

Quinn knew the moment the van turned into the parking lot in front of the football stadium. The rhythmic thumping of the Marching Band drums vibrated the van's windows and the loud hum of excited voices drifted past the glass.

Quinn sunk further into the van's hard seat. Beside her Stacy and Stevie buzzed with excitement chatting nonstop about the football game. Quinn swallowed hard, her Adam's apple bobbing thickly in her throat.

"Looks like everyone came out for the game." Her Uncle Dwight spoke up over the kids chatter as he carefully moved the van through the crowded parking lot.

"Do you blame them? Our boys are playing so well this year." Her Aunt Judy agreed, pride evident in her voice. Quinn would have agreed if she wasn't so busy fighting down the bile that rose with each turn of the vehicles wheels. Her fingernails dug deep into her palms leaving dark red and purple half moons.

"I'm going to park as close to the entrance as possible Quinn." Dwight told her from the drivers seat. Even in the deep dusk of the evening, he could tell that she was white as a sheet and shaking slightly.

"You don't have to. I can walk." Quinn tried to keep her voice calm and even so as not to let on how nervous she was but her voice came out timid and shaky. Quinn squeezed her eyes shut in frustration and burrowed into Noah's letterman jacket trying to draw from his strength.

The proverbial shit hit the fan when she arrived home. Her mother had actually used the key to unlock Quinn's door. She'd been too shocked to actually register what her mother was saying until she was drawn out of her shock by her mother's ultimatum: Quinn would go to the football game and face her fear of crowds and sit with her Aunt and Uncle because she couldn't be trusted to stay in the car without wandering off.

The van came to a stop and the engine cut off. The sliding side door opened and Quinn cringed at the awful squeak it made. Stevie and Stacie jumped out, their squeals of excitement drifting closer then moving farther away before coming closer again. Quinn pictured them running around in circles.

She clutched her backpack tighter.

"Hi Quinn. We haven't seen you around much lately. Glad you finally made it to a game. Are you excited to support your cousin? He's quite the player."

Quinn tried to recognize the voice but couldn't place it. The football parents and Cheerio's parents often ran the ticket and food booths. She should know who it was but still couldn't draw up a face to go with the voice.

She smiled politely, looking in what she hoped was the right direction. The sun was too low in the sky and she could barely make out the women's shadow underneath the tall florescent light.

"Well we miss you on the Cheerios and hope you come back soon."  
Quinn forced the smile to remain as bile rose in her throat. She silently swallowed it down.

"Thank you," she forced out in a somewhat normal voice.

"Sweetie I need to stamp your hand so you can get seated. They're about to start." Of course they needed to stamp her hand, in case she had to run to the car and could get back in without having to pay again. Not like that would ever happen anymore. She numbly held out her hand hoping it was close enough but not in the lady's face.

She heard a quiet chuckle, the shifting of a chair and then felt the stamp being pressed into the back of her hand. Quinn knew she shouldn't be offended but she's so on edge that something deep inside her gets riled up and she grimaces at the lady.

"It's really crowded Quinn." Her uncle whispered near her ear but Quinn has already figured that out. She's getting jostled every which way and she struggles with her breathing exercises to keep the panic at bay. Uncle Dwight keeps his pace slow, her hand firmly tucked into his arm as the people surge around them.

The shadows move in and out of her vision every time they pass under the stadium lamps. It's actually quite disorientating so Quinn closes her eyes, thrusting herself fully into darkness. Her breath catches in her throat and they stop walking. She wants to ask why but can't get the words out.

Santana is definitely shocked when she spots Quinn's blonde hair shining under the bright lights. She should be angry at her for bailing that afternoon but instead she's immensely grateful she seems unhurt. She can't shake the image of a hurt Quinn, lost and unable to see to get help. She shuddered at the thought.

"San?" Brittany asks from beside her.

"Yeah Brit?" Santana can't take her eyes off the way Quinn's brow furrowed in concentration as she took tentative, shuffling steps forward towards the stairs.

She's transported back to the summer between their 8th grade and freshman year.

_"Keep up Santana!" Quinn called over her shoulder jogging up two more steps before turning around and jogging in place at the top of the bleachers._

_Santana growled under her breath trying to breathe. When Quinn invited her to train over the summer before Freshman cheer camp, she didn't know Quinn was going to torture her everyday._

_"I'm coming Q-ball. Some of value that little thing called oxygen." She breathed out resting her hand on Quinn's shoulder and doubled over._

_"Fine," Quinn laughed, slowing to a stop and sitting down on the top row. She kicked her feet up onto the row below her. Santana plopped down beside her._

_"That was viscous Q." Quinn rolled her eyes. "That's nothing. I've heard Coach S is a maniac." What she didn't tell Santana was that after years of physical therapy, stair training was nothing._

_"Heard that too. Do you think we have a shot?"_

_Quinn shrugged. As freshman they didn't have much of a chance to make the varsity squad but then Coach S had yet to meet the unholy trinity._

_"When's Brit getting back?" She asked instead of answering._

_"Soon. The fam's vacay is over. Just the road trip back. Speaking of fam. When do I get to meet this elusive older sister of yours. Who, by the way, I think is a figment of your imagination." She nudged Quinn in the ribs._

_Quinn snorted. "Frannie? She exists alright. She just started a job in Columbus but she should be back for Thanksgiving."_

_"What she do?" Santana earned back mimicking Quinn's position and closed her eyes. The warm sun against her face. She and Quinn clicked from day one of 8th grade. Now, a little less than a full year later, she would call Quinn her bff._

_"What is her job?" Quinn was always correcting her Lima Heights slang._

_"Whateva." She snarled but couldn't hide her smile. Quinn's eyebrow arched._

_"She's an art therapist."_

_"A what?"_

_"She uses art to help kids and adults with developmental and physical disabilities."_

_Quinn stood up suddenly, jostling Santana from her relaxed position._

_"What?"_

_"Break's over." Quinn quickly crossed the top row and started down the stairs._

_Santana watched Quinn jog down the stairs, keeping one hand against the guard rail. It was the most unique way of running stairs that Santana had ever seen, but it worked for her._

_"You coming?" Quinn's voice carried across the bleachers._

"I'm glad Quinn came." Brittany spoke up next to her, startling Santana back into the present.

"Yeah, me too." Santana watched Quinn move forward holding on to her uncle's arm.

"There's a spot about halfway up." Dwight whispered to his niece loud enough for her to hear but not the crowd surging around them.

"H-How many rows?" He hated the quiver in her voice. He didn't agree with most of Judy's discipline methods with his niece and now he was starting to feel that forcing Quinn to face this was too soon... to harsh.

"Fifteen."

Quinn swallowed hard, fighting against the tears threatening to spring to her eyes. The panic was nearly overwhelming her if it wasn't for her uncle's arm grounding her in the here and now. She could feel the eyes of her classmates and their families on her.

Stacy bumped into her leg, pulling at her hand hanging at her side. She gritted her teeth but forced a smile for her cousin.

"I wanna sit next to Quinnie!" Stacy shouted over the background noise. Quinn felt her move away and then brush back against her before moving away. Her head was spinning with trying to figure out what was going on around her.

Her hand darted out and luckily she caught the loose material on Stacy's jacket. "Woah Squirt, slow down!"

Stacy giggled and tried to hold still. "Where's your mom?" Quinn kept her voice upbeat. It wasn't Stacy's fault she was about to have a nervous breakdown in front of all these people.

"She's sitted down."

"Sitting down." She corrected automatically.

"That's what I said. She sitted down!" Quinn bit the inside of her cheek at the cuteness of her cousin. Her uncle chuckled, the vibration making its way through her hand and arm, relaxing her tense muscles.

Quinn quickly nodded her agreement. She squatted down in front of Stacy, both hands on the little girl's shoulders, making sure to keep her eyes open even though it did her no good. "Do me a favor okay?" She felt Stacy nodding and smiled.

"Walk carefully up to your mom and I'll be up in a minute. Okay, think you can do that for me?"

Stacy jumped up and down for a second before darting off. "Don't run!" She called out after the retreating girl.

"She's running isn't she?"

"Of course. She has one speed." Quinn stood up, finding her Uncle's arm again.

"Where's Stevie?" She asked, looking around before realizing that it was pointless. Embarrassment colored her cheeks and she ducked her head further into the collar of Noah's letterman's jacket.

"Some of the elementary kids huddle together over there." She couldn't tell where 'over there' was but didn't have time to respond when she felt him move forward. Caught off-guard and her toes caught jammed into the front of the first step. Instinctively, she reached out, her hand feeling for the railing running up the center of the stairs. People moved around her. She felt like she was stuck in a pack of angry swarming bees. Finally, her hand connected just as she felt her Uncle step up again. She groaned out a frustrated breath, sending her bangs flying, all the while trying not to face plant in front of everyone.

Down on the field, Puck turned away from watching her make her way slowly up the steps until she scooted carefully along the bleacher seats and stopped next to her Aunt, pulling Stacy onto her lap and burying her face into the blonde hair.

Puck dug the toes of his cleats into the turf of the field below him. He didn't want to be mad at her. He knew she had her reasons but it still hurt when she blocked him out.

... Glee ...

Puck shifted in his seat as he directed his truck north towards Findlay. The headlights cut easily through the night illuminating the busy road in front of him. Elvis Presley blared from the speakers. He barely kept from rolling his eyes at the absurdity of Elvis blaring from his speakers. God Quinn had such a hold on him.

He glanced in the rearview mirror at the convoy behind him. He was hoping to have time alone with Quinn, just the two of them, settling in for some of Marco's pizza. Somehow the entire Glee Club had weaseled their way into going out for pizza.

_When you walk through a storm hold your head up high. And don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of a storm is a golden sky. And the sweet silver song of a lark. Walk on through the wind. Walk on through the rain. Though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on with a hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone. You'll never, ever walk alone._

The words to the song really pulled at him. They were so true. There was no way he could ever really know what Quinn was going through. It had to be so scary sometimes. But he knew if she would just let him, he could ease some of her fears. She didn't have to 'walk' through all these changes in her life alone but she was so stubborn.

Puck slammed his hand into the steering wheel and let out a frustrated growl. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Quinn jump at the sound, her head whipping around so fast to look in his direction that her hair whipped against her neck.

A startled gasp escaped and her lips. He instantly felt guilty. He knew how easy she startled especially in the dark.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. He glanced over for a second at her before turning his eyes back to the road ahead of them.

Quinn slid her hand across the dash until her fingers came in contact with the round dial. She turned it hesitantly. She was either turning down the dial or changing the station. She breathed out a sigh of relief when the volume lowered.

"What?" She asked. She could feel the tension radiating off him as he guided her to his truck earlier.

Puck growled, clenching his jaw until he tasted blood. He didn't respond as he turned off the I-75 at the Findlay exit.

"I deserve your silent treatment." She spoke quietly and he easily heard the hitch and regret in her voice over the music. His resolve to give her radio silence like she gave him every time things became too hard shattered.

"No you don't. I'm just confused Quinn and I'm scared." He reached over and squeezed her hand. "I know you are very capable, sweetie, but you scare me so much when you disappear like today."

Quinn ducked her head feeling her guilt increase exponentially. Why was Puck continually nice to her? She didn't deserve it. She was a self-obsessed bitch.

Puck pulled his truck into a space as close to the door as he could get it. The parking lot was jammed packed. He left the car idling and took her hand between both of his.

"I don't want anything to happen to you. Please, please, please come to Santana or Sam or myself when it gets to much."

Quinn barely held in the bitter laugh that was threatening to burst forth. She healed her breath until her lungs threatened to explode.

"Say something." When she didn't respond he tugged on her hand. "Anything," he pleaded.

"This is happening to me Puck!"

She rarely called him by his nickname anymore. Puck flinched at the venom in her voice.

"I know! It's happening to me too." He couldn't hold in his anger any longer. God he was so frustrated with her he wanted to pull out his mohawk.

She scoffed. The sound pierced through the truck like a knife to his heart. He dropped her hand suddenly as if it was on fire. She immediately felt the loss and reached out for him but only connected with air.

His door clicking open ricochet through the deadly silence.

"Puck!" Fear gripped her. "Y-you can't le-leave me." Her voice rose with each syllable, the panic evident in her face and voice. He watched her hands clawing at his seat trying to find him, her eyes frantically searching in the dark. He softly shut the door and engaged the locks. With the child safety locks turned on she wouldn't be able to get out and walk into traffic.

The truck rocked with her moving around. Her panicked cries made it past the closed off vehicle and straight into his heart shattering it into a million pieces.

He stumbled the few feet into the grass surrounding the parking lot and fell to his knees. His pre–game protein bar and water escaping in shuddering sobbing waves until he was left dry heaving. He couldn't hear her panicked cries anymore.

They'd been waiting near the entrance for Puck and Quinn to join them, bets were on that they were either making out or in a serious conversation. When Puck emerged Sam actually smiled as Puck leaned against the car and even from the distance he could tell his best friend was dish-shelved. Okay so he didn't really want to think about his 'Cuz sucking Puckerman face. In a lot of ways it was like thinking about your parents having sex. You know they do it but you don't ever want to think about it.

He'd headed over intent on teasing the two endlessly about making them wait when Puck bolted towards the grass. The unmistakable sounds of vomiting hit his ears. Quinn's crying assaulted his senses as he reached the truck. He yanked on the door nearly breaking his wrist when it didn't budge. His cousins startled scream and terrified eyes as she tried to scramble away in the confines of the truck would forever haunt him.

He bolted past the truck, breaking out into a sprint, his chest heaving as anger and tears clogged his vision.

"Dude. What the hell!" Sam grabbed Puck by his jersey collar, pulling him to his feet and shoving him up the embankment until his hip connected with the truck's bumper abruptly stopping their forward moment.

He sneered at Puck's startled grunt of pain and pushed farther into the bumper. "What the fuck did you do to her?" He seethed rearing back. Pain jolted through his hand when as it connected with Puck's jaw. "Shit!" He screamed clutching at his hand, his knuckles immediately swelling.

"I didn't do anything! I was coming back for her." Puck shoved back, sending Sam stumbling to the ground. He turned in around in anger, slamming his fist into the side of the truck. Sam lunged, sending them both to the ground.

"Holy..." Santana couldn't even finish her thought as the group waded into the mix of flying fists and language. Mike lunged for Sam and Finn grabbed at Puck in a desperate attempt at to separating the two. Santana shuddered at the cry of pain and the unmistakable sound of bones breaking but resumed her search for the truck keys. Quinn's frantic screams tearing through every fibre of her being. She was about to go all Lima Heights on Puck's truck windows.

"Found it!" Rachel's voice cut through the scuffles. Santana darted towards the cab just as the hobbit clicked the latch open.

Quinn couldn't breath. She clutched at her chest, the sound of fighting not even registering past the ringing in her ears. Suddenly hands were pulling at her and she had to get away. Fear crept into every crevice of her being, assaulting her senses and intensifying her blind panic. In another day and age she might have found humor in the irony of it but tonight she only knew the desire to free herself from the panic and that meant getting as far away as possible.

Her knees connected with the asphalt with a sickening thud but she didn't even notice the pain or stickiness seeping down her shins. She pulled herself upright again, shoving off hands grabbing at her. Her shoulder connected with the side view mirror sending her stumbling sideways. A car horn blared so close her bangs fluttered. She froze, her chest and head exploding with pain. Quinn clutched at her head slowly sinking to her knees. As her eyes rolled back in her head on fleeting thought fought its way through the haze; she just wanted this torment to end forever.

TBC

AN: This chapter took a life of it's own as I was writing it. What a I set out to write and what I wrote ended up being vastly different things. That being said, please don't freak out too much and please stick with the story. It's a wild ride but worth it. Feedback is greatly appreciated.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox. No copyright infringement intended.

Thank you for all the great reviews. I was hesitant to post that but all the great reviews have eased my concerns. Your reviews are very beneficial and I'm positive that they enabled me to finish this chapter a lot faster. So please review this one too. Thanks. Oh and there is language again in this one but it should calm down soon. Cheers!

**Chapter 26**

It was a ragtag group of teenagers that stumbled through the Emergency Room doors startling the nurse sitting bored at the intake desk. She glanced up from filing her nails at the noise they were making and jumped to her feet instantly sending her chair rolling backwards into the cabinet with a thud.

Her eyes widened taking in the group. A thin Asian boy was supporting a kid with a Mohawk. His nose was dripping blood onto the tile and he wobbled unsteadily when the Asian kid moved to hand him tissues. He tried to say something, looking over his shoulder but it came out a garbled mess. Broken jaw.

She followed his line of sight and sprung into action, swiping the access card even while she was calling over her shoulder for help.

Finn turned towards the access doors, hitching Quinn up higher in his arms. She weighed practically nothing but she hadn't stopped flailing around since he pulled her out of Santana's arms to get her out of the car and into the ER. He caught Rachel's eyes for a moment before laying Quinn as gently as he could on the gurney.

There wasn't a lot that scared Finn Hudson but seeing his former girlfriend struggling to get air into her lungs, her lips turning blue, was one of them.

Quinn breathlessly screeched, her eyes opening wide and darting frantically, the panic still painfully evident when Santana was pulled away. Santana shoved the male orderly away and grabbed Quinn's outstretched hand. Quinn's voice trailed off from running out of air but she calmed fractionally with the contact, drawing some strength from the contact.

"You can stay with us for now." A short red headed doctor told Santana. The gurney was quickly rolled away, the automatic doors shutting behind them.

Puck collapsed to his knees. His head falling against his chest in shame. What the hell had he done?

Mike backed away from him and tucked Tina into his side. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he felt the shudders from her crying. Quinn had overcome so much their freshman year and changed completely. Everyone saw how hard she worked to become a better person. It simply wasn't fair that any of this was happening to her.

Mike remembered the panic he felt when he was blindfolded and the lights turned off in the auditorium. He couldn't move for fear of falling off the edge of the stage. Yet he knew what he felt was only a small fraction of what Quinn was feeling because he could count down the minutes until he could rip the blindfold off and be thrust back into the light. Quinn would never have that again.

In a trauma bay, medical personal swarmed around Quinn shouting things that Santana didn't understand. She tried to stay out of their way, positioning herself near Quinn's head. Violent shudders coursed through Quinn's body in waves as tears leaked constantly from her eyes.

A nurse was trying to get an oxygen mask over Quinn's head but she kept jerking her head to the side fighting and clawing to get way.

"Q it's just oxygen!"

"What happened?" The doctor from before demanded, her voice no-nonsense and urgent.

"I don't know. She has asthma but she gets panic attacks. This is like her last panic attack only... worse."

Much worse Santana thought. It seemed like forever ago that Puck was speeding through Lima with Quinn unconscious on her lap. Only then, Quinn's body ran out of adrenaline quickly. Now it seemed Quinn would never run out of adrenaline. She was firmly locked in fight or flight mode.

Santana could never stand to see Quinn cry. It made Snix want to come out and destroy whoever or whatever caused Q's pain. Sam may have completely messed Puck up, but Snix was definitely going to make an appearance. Reaching into her jacket, she pulled out a Kleenex and gently wiped the tears from her friends eyes, all the while murmuring reassurances.

The doctor glanced up from listening to her patient's lungs just in time to see the brunette wipe at her friends eyes. The doctor paused for a second before shouldering Santana back slightly and flicked her finger towards her patient's eye. Nothing. No flinch or anything. She grabbed a penlight from her scrub top, shining it in the left eye and then the right. The frown deepened.

"Left pupil unresponsive. Right is minimally responsive." She spoke to her head nurse at the head of the bed. There was no physical signs of a head wound but her patient wasn't exactly able to tell her what was going on.

She turned to the Latina again, "Did she receive any blow to the head?"

Santana looked up startled, trying to remember the events clearly. It was such a fast paced rush of adrenaline and bodies moving in the dark. She remembered Rachel yanking Quinn backwards just as a car sped by, going faster than it should have. She didn't know what happened in the moments before though.

"I don't think so." She mumbled while drawing in a deep breath and focusing on Quinn again. She was much calmer now, the oxygen mask on her face now.

"What's her name sweetie?" The doctor had a soothing voice and it was calming Santana's frayed nerves. It probably helped that Quinn was no longer thrashing. She couldn't stand the vacant unfocused look in Quinn's eyes though and swallowed hard. She wouldn't cry.

"Quinn." She choked out past the lump in her throat.

The doctor nodded placing a comforting hand on her arm before pulling out a penlight and clicking it on. "Quinn. I need you to follow the light with your eyes okay?"

Santana watched the heart monitor that had been jumping frantically but was slowing down, the beeps steadying out into a slower rhythm. Her frayed nerves steadied a bit more seeing one of the nurses relax slightly.

She missed the doctor's frown that formed when her patient couldn't follow the light with her eyes.

"Page CT, I want to get a scan and get Neuro down here stat." She whispered to the nurse standing along the wall near a phone.

Santana's head jerked around to stare at the doctor. "What, why?" She shouted only caring slightly that Quinn jumped at the noise. She squeezed Quinn's hand, feeling the slightest return of pressure.

"There's some inconsistencies and we need to run some more tests to rule out any head trauma. This is precautionary right now." She wasn't really prepared to be telling any of this to a teenager that couldn't be much older than her own daughter, so she kept her voice light and reassuring and the information vague.

Quinn was just coming down from the fog wrapping around her mind. She felt totally exhausted and both numb and hyper aware at the same time. The voices around her seeping past the white noise in her mind but not making a lot of sense.

The beeping picked up on the heart monitor and Quinn started shaking her head, her right hand trying to pull the respirator mask away. Santana caught her wrist just inches from the mask.

"That has to stay on Q." She chided calmly yet she didn't feel calm. Had the car actually hit Quinn? She didn't think so. What had Puck done in the car beforehand? Her mind went to a really bad place and she shook her head. Trying to rid herself of the thoughts. Puck would not intentionally hurt Quinn. At least the Puck she knew wouldn't. But she firmly believed everyone except maybe Brittany, had a Snix inside waiting to emerge.

"Blmmfh." Quinn mumbled, her eyes drooping closed, her body slouching on the bed as the tension melted away.

"What'd she say?" The doctor asked, looking between the two.

Santana smacked her forehead, dropping her head to her chest, when she figured out what Quinn said. How could she have been so stupid?

"Shit! I'm an idiot." She raged at herself. "She's blind or legally blind, visually impaired or some shit."

The doctor relaxed slightly. "It's okay," she reassured the teenager. "She'll be okay."

... Glee ...

Will paced around the large conference room that all the adults currently sat in. The trauma doctor went over the conditions of three of his Glee Club members. Never in his wildest imagination would he think that anything like this would happen between those three. Not that anyone knew what had really happened. They were still trying to put the pieces together. But both Sam and Puck were fiercely protective of Quinn and maybe that was just incendiary waiting to ignite. He scrubbed his hand over his face, trying and failing to rub the tension headache away.

The police officer just let telling the parents involved that were welcome to press personal injury charges but at this time no criminal charges would be pressed. The doctors just left after outline the injuries to the three teenagers.

Will looked to Emma for guidance.

"Well, this... incident didn't happen on school campus or at a school sponsored event. There isn't much the school board will do." She spoke quietly.

"Sam is grounded. He will go to school and come home. No extra-curricular activities until next year." Dwight spoke up. He couldn't wrap his mind around the events of this evening. After Quinn's initial hesitation to walk up the stairs, she'd quickly settled in, wedged between her Aunt and Uncle with Stacy on her lap. He'd seen the first really genuine smile on her face in days or maybe even weeks.

"The same goes for Noah. When he's able to talk more and we find out his side of the story... I'm just so confused as to what happened." His mother spoke softly, ashamed for her son's behavior.

Dwight looked over to Judy. She was far to pale, her hands shaking from withdrawals. She'd barely held it together in the car but he was proud of her because she did. She calmly asked the doctor several questions. He knew, without a doubt she wanted a drink...several drinks probably, but she was putting Quinn above everything else. He reached over and squeezed her hand. She smiled hesitantly back at him.

"I'm going to head to Quinn's room. Could you... Would you please tell Santana thank you for staying with her for me?" Judy stood up, nodding towards Mr. Schue before quickly heading out the door. Sometimes the similarities between Quinn and her mother were too much to take in.

The room dropped into silence with her departure.

Finally Will broke it when it started to become too much for him, "Will she be alright?"

Dwight nodded but he wasn't so sure. She'd been doing so well fighting her addiction. He prayed that this wouldn't send her back to the bottle again.

... Glee ...

Sam looked up when the doors to the waiting room opened. He preferred to pace but felt to light headed and dizzy from the pain medicines to do that. Instead he sat slumped in a too small plastic chair, wedged between Santana and Brittany, cradling his throbbing, casted hand against his chest. Across from him sat his mother.

She looked somewhere between extreme disappointment and pure worry. He'd never seen that look on her face before. Guilt washed over him. He was the cause of that look and he never wanted to see it again.

The door on the far end of the waiting room opened and his dad and Mrs. Puckerman walked through followed by Mr. Schuester and Miss Pillsbury. Mrs. Puckerman headed away from the waiting room but not before his dad squeezed her arm sympathetically hoping to reassure her despite the tension and anger that was directed at her. She wasn't to be held responsible for her son's actions. He wanted to make that very clear.

Anger fluttered his queasy stomach. Santana felt him stiffen next to her and squeezed his knee to get him to relax. He didn't.

"How are they?" Santana asked when the adults neared.

Dwight chose to answer the group.

"They sedated her to let her rest and want to keep her a day or so for observation." The room let out a collective breath of relief. "Physically she's going to be fine." Mentally he wasn't sure how much more she could take or if she had already cracked from all the changes to her life recently.

Will stepped forward. Half his kids seemed to be waiting for news on Puck. The others looked like they really didn't care. Dwight crossed over to his wife, pulling her into his arms in a deep reassuring hug. Quinn might have only been their niece but she seemed more like their daughter. To see your child struggling with heavy blows in their lives is beyond heart breaking. Months of worrying surged to the surface in messy tears.

"Puck's hand is broken. Luckily his jaw was just dislocated and not broken." Will moved to lean against the wall, taking in the reactions. For the most part they seemed relieved. Santana looked pissed off, which was nothing new. They'd come a long way from the fighting he broke up the first week of school.

He'd never seen Sam angry. Protective and sometimes sad but never angry. Angry wasn't the right word. Livid was closer but still not strong enough to convey the flashing emotions coloring the normally smiling face.

"Hmpf. Too bad, I should have hit him harder." Will gasped at the venom in his voice.

Dwight crossed the room, grabbing his son by the scruff of his collar. He only slowed down long enough to let his injured son regain his balance before he started dragging him toward the exit doors.

"No!" He shouted, pulling back, digging into the linoleum.

"I've never been more disappointed in you than I am right now." Dwight huffed.

"But Quinn!"

"Will be alright." He tugged the doors open shoving him through. The cold night air blasting the waiting room.

"You didn't see her! You didn't se.. e see her dad." Whether it was the cold air or Sam's voice breaking, an icy shiver went through the group.

... Glee ...

A dark cloud settled over the Glee Club in the days following the fight. Those that were physically able muddled their way through the Homecoming Dance obligations. Even Rachel couldn't summon her normal enthusiasm for being in the spotlight.

The following Monday came and went and Quinn didn't make an appearance at school. Sam simply looked at them sadly when they questioned him before turning and walking away.

Puck kept clear of everyone especially Sam. The shame he felt deep within his every nerve and fiber of his being grew by the second. He wasn't angry at Sam for nearly breaking his jaw despite the giant bruise on the left side of his face nor was he angry about Santana going Lima Heights on his sorry butt right before Homeroom. He wasn't angry about the cold stare that Artie gave him when his feet automatically took him to Quinn's locker instead of his own between first and second period.

He wished Sam had broken his jaw. He wished Artie would break his foot rolling over it or slam his face into the locker. He wished all of that because he deserved it and a thousand times worse. The ache in his heart at not knowing if Quinn was okay was killing him.

Sam sat on the piano bench in the choir room. He was supposed to be in study hall but he couldn't stand sitting at the empty table he and Quinn shared. Miss Pillsbury only hesitated for a brief second before she let him go. Maybe it was the look on his face, he didn't know nor did he care. Everyone was giving him a wide birth today.

Quinn was still in the hospital in Findlay undergoing psychiatric testing. Whatever that meant. His parents were very upset with him. He'd spent the weekend in his room grounded but he overheard his parents talking in the late Saturday night when he snuck downstairs for more pain medicine.

Sam closed his eyes running the fingers of his left hand lightly over the closed piano cover feeling the texture. Not bothering to open his eyes, he lifted the lid and ran his fingers over the ivory and black keys. Shaking his head, Sam realized Quinn hadn't touched the piano in over a week. He could barely remember a time when Quinn wasn't attached to the piano. It added to his worry.

The door opened quietly and he recognized the sound of Puck's combat boots on the floor. His shoulder's stiffened instantly.

Puck clenched his jaw, pain shooting through it. He just wanted to come to the choir room and be alone. He felt close to Quinn in the choir room. So when he walked in and saw Sam sitting at the piano he felt like he'd been punched in the stomach again.

"You need to leave." The threat, 'or else', was clearly evident in Sam's voice.

Ignoring the threat and Sam altogether, Puck crossed over to the risers and relaxed back into the seat, his feet kicked up and his head tilted back, his face to the ceiling.

The bench creaked across the room but Puck kept his eyes closed, his face neutral and summoned his freshman year self to keep from seeing if Sam was still in the choir room.

"I've worried constantly that Karofsky would break Quinn."

Puck opened his eyes for a brief second just in time to see Sam heading towards him with ice in those expressive eyes. He tensed slightly, preparing for the smack down. He wouldn't fight back. He deserved everything Sam did to him.

Sam knocked Puck's feet off the chair, turned it around and straddled it, his cast resting on the back. The vein at his temple stuck out with the pressure of his clenched jaw. He longed to put his fist through Puck's face.

"I never thought it would be you to break her." The only indication that Puck heard him was a slight shifting in his seat.

"How could you?" He pressed on, clenching his fist tighter before running his hand through his hair. "I've been racking my brain, hell we've all been racking our brains, trying to figure out what could possess you to lock her in your car. But I just can't come up with anything. So please explain it me."

Puck didn't answer. Sam saw the muscles along the less bruised and swollen side of his jaw tighten. He might as well have broken Puck's jaw if he was only going to get the silent treatment.

"She had a panic attack earlier in the day and you KNOW how bad they can be. You KNOW the aftermath lasts for days and YOU LOCK HER IN YOUR TRUCK!" He was screaming by the time he finished.

Puck refused to say anything. Sam surged to his feet, kicking the chair out of the way. It clattered noisily away.

Puck had flashbacks to another time a chair was kicked across the choir room. He hurt and let a Quinn down then too.

"We were arguing and I didn't want to say anything stupid. I didn't think it would set her off!"

Sam narrowed his eyes. That didn't make any sense at all. Quinn could get pretty irrational lately but sitting in a car shouldn't have caused that level of a panic attack. The family spent a lot of time researching how to help Quinn through them and they had been a lot better.

"No."

Puck frowned. What did that mean?

"No. That wouldn't have caused this. Heck she used to sit in the car during our games." It didn't make any sense to Sam at all. What Puck said shouldn't have sent Quinn into a panic attack. The family was working with counselor's and doctors about what set her off and how to help her through them. Crowds probably though as far as he could tell she did great at the game. A car while Puck took a breather... no, it didn't make sense at all.

Sam stood inches from Puck, reading his expressions and mannerisms. He looked ashamed. He should look ashamed, Sam thought.

His eyes narrowed, "What aren't you telling me?"

Puck sunk back into his chair, his shoulders slumping. He needed to get this off his chest. All his friends hated him anyway. If he didn't let it out, it would eat him alive.

"I didn't tell her." He whispered.

Sam shook his head not really connecting the dots. He sat in the chair next to Puck, resting his elbow on his knee and his head in his hand.

"Didn't tell her what dude? I don't get it."

Puck swallowed hard past the lump that formed. He didn't even bother to hide his tears. "I didn't tell her I was leaving the truck or locking her in." He forced it out.

Sam sat up slowly, Puck's words working their way through his mind. It was like slow motion to Puck. He knew the moment Sam connected the dots. The blonde boy's eyes widened, his lips pressed into a thin, tight line, anger flashing in his eyes.

Sam saw red as it dawned on him what Puck meant. Lurching to his feet, he pulled Puck up by his collar, completely invading his space, causing Puck to step back. The only thing keeping Puck from tripping over the riser was Sam's grip on his shirt. He held his ground and waited for the physical pain to hit. He deserved it.

"You IDIOT!" Sam screamed at him, his chest heaving with emotions. "She's blind. What were you thinking?"

"I know she is! I wasn't thinking."

Sam melted then. She didn't tell Puck. He didn't know. He dropped Puck's collar. His cousin was just as big of an idiot as they were.

Puck opened his eyes, confused. Sam was walking away from him shaking his head. He stopped at the piano, running his hand over the smooth top. Puck stepped down from the risers and moved over to the piano.

"That's it?" He asked.

Sam shook his head at Puck's words. He really didn't know. Sam's test tightened.

Puck took an involuntary step backwards when Sam looked up. His friends eyes were bright red with unshod tears and looked like someone had just kicked his puppy. It knocked Puck's breath away.

"What?" He forced out while leaning against the piano next to Sam.

"She... her left eye." Sam forced air into his lungs, locking his eyes with Puck, and cleared his throat. His hand nervously ran through his hair causing it to spike. "She was supposed to tell you."

Puck stiffened, dread settling within every fiber of his being.

"No.." His hand slammed into the piano but he didn't even feel the the pain that shot through the casted hand.

"It happened early this week. She didn't say anything until Thursday. She was supposed to tell you Puck. You're the only person to get her to use that stupid cane. This is so screwed up. Why Quinn?"

The anger that kept Sam functioning all weekend left him. Sam's legs gave out under him and he sunk in slow motion to the ground.

Sam broke in front of him. That's the only thought that he could come up with. His mind blanked out with Sam's words. He sunk down to his knees next to Sam, shaking his head no as if to chase the other boy's words away.

They sat there for a long time, in silence, trying to process this latest blow in a long line of blows. The bell releasing students at the end of the day startled them.

Puck reached into his pocket pulling out a blue handkerchief that he kept on hand for Quinn because her eyes tended to water in really bright light. He paused for a second that before handing it to Sam with a loud sigh.

Sam took the handkerchief without a word, wiping away the evidence of his tears. He was still angry at Puck but maybe he was angrier at Quinn for not confiding in Puck. This whole incident might have been avoided if she just learned to lean on those that loved her.

"Look dude. I know you love her but..."

"I have to see her. Tell her she will be okay." Puck interrupted. Sam turned towards him and Puck flinched at the turmoil in his friends eyes.

"You can't." Sam sounded a little more in control. He breathed deeply through his nose. "The only people that have seen her are Aunt Judy, mom and dad. I don't even know if she wants to see you or if they'll even let you."

"But..." Puck started to protest but Sam cut him.

"I get it okay. You love her but please respect her enough to wait until she's ready. You owe her that." He kept his voice even. He really didn't have the energy to fight anymore.

"What happens now?" Puck leaned his head back against the piano. He didn't like it but he would try to respect Quinn's wishes.

"Don't know."

"Is she okay?"

Sam scrubbed his hand over his face for what seemed like the millionth time. How could you be okay with loosing most of your vision?

"Doubt it." He spoke truthfully. She'd been, for years, in so much denial about this that he didn't know if she would ever be okay again. He wasn't sure if any of them would ever be okay again.

"I, um, I have to go." Puck stood up slowly. "If.." He cleared his throat and straightened his back. "Could you just..."

Sam looked up at him. He owed nothing to Puck but he knew what he was trying to ask. Puck made his cousin happy. Well he used to make her happy. Maybe when things settled down he would make her happy again.

"Is there a problem guys?" Will spoke up from the doorway. Some of the New Directions filed past him with a grumble. They studiously ignored the obvious puffy eyes of the two teenagers.

"No Sir." Sam spoke up from the floor. After a brief moment of hesitation he took Puck's outstretched hand, letting Puck pull him to his feet.

After a moment he pulled Puck into a light bro hug. "I'll keep you informed," he whispered ignoring the murmuring that broke out from their friends.

**TBC**


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. No copyright infringement intended.

Thank you all for the wonderful feedback. This chapter ended up being so long that I broke it down into two different chapters. Here is part 1. The second will hopefully be out on Monday.

Sophie – Wow. That video is awesome. I may have to incorporate the song into this fiction. I can definitely see what the commenter meant by being inspired by this story. I seriously doubt it was but it's a nice sentiment.

Val-Snix – I think their friendship will come out more in future chapters.

olacindy – Thank you.

SR940C – It seemed like a natural reaction that her cousin would come to her defense. I'm simply glad I decided not to have Puck's jaw broken, as it would have made it harder to tell the story. I'm glad his beat down was sufficient enough for you.

Quick1329 – I'm a sap too and really just wanted to write the kiss and make up it all better seen but….

BMontague – Thank you. I didn't want to make Puck completely the bad guy and your review is very appreciated. I'm glad I managed to straddle that fine line successfully.

gogolax – Thank you.

I've suffered from panic attacks for about 6 years now and I find them really easy to write and sometimes have to take a huge break in writing them as they hit very close to home. With that… enjoy and please keep up the amazing reviews.

**Chapter 27**

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

It was the rhythmic beeping that finally made it through the fog in Quinn's mind almost 24 hours after she attended the football game. Her sedative was lowered hours before and her mother, seeing her daughter sleeping peacefully under her own power, slipped out for a shower and a bite of eat.

Quinn recognized the beeping as a heart rate monitor. She'd been hooked up to plenty of them in her life. The familiar tug of an IV port in her right hand caused her to pause slightly in her sleepy attempt to role over.

She didn't remember the drive to Cleveland Children's Hospital or even checking into the hospital for that matter. She shifted on the hospital bed, her kneecap hitting the guardrail, pain shot up her thigh cutting through the haze in her mind like a sharp knife.

Quinn realized she was curled into a fetal position and wrinkled her nose at that. Not even bothering to open her eyes, she trailed her fingers down the length of her thigh and over her throbbing kneecap, her fingers feeling the rough texture of scabs. Her knee felt warm to the touch. Her hand moved to the other knee feeling more scabs. She hissed at the stinging sensation caused by her probing fingers. When had she fallen?

The headache she'd been sporting since Friday afternoon kicked into high gear. Each beat of her heart throbbed painfully through her temples making her eyes water behind her closed eyelids. Wearily she brought her hand up to her forehead and pressed her fingers into her temples with a low groan.

She didn't register the footsteps or the shifting of the bed table being rolled closer to her.

"Are you in pain, Sweetie?"

Quinn jumped, sucking in a deep breath, forcing her eyes open. Instantly she regretted it, the smell of food hit her nostrils; her eyes squeezed shut trying to block out the smell. She took a deep steadying breath, forcing down the nausea.

After a moment she opened her eyes again, blinking several times, trying to locate the blur she knew was right next to the bed. She could hear what had to be a nurse next to her head fiddling with the bed but simply couldn't make out any shapes.

Her breath stuck in her throat and the beeping beside her picked up in intensity. She racked her brain trying to focus past the swirling thoughts raging at break neck speed through her mind.

She vaguely remembered waking up Thursday afternoon to darkness in her left eye instead of the hazy fog she'd become used to. She remembered tossing her legs out of bed to turn on a light and crashing to the ground, her balance thrown off.

After that it was all blurry. A humorless chuckle escaped at that thought.

Sam found her in a heap on the ground after coming to check on the sound, afraid that she was trashing her room again and wanting to save her from Judy's punishment.

Quinn vaguely remembered clutching at his shirt, begging him to turn on the lights in her room. She would never forget his choked sobs telling her over and over again that the lights were already on.

It was coming back to her now. She'd promised Sam that she would tell Puck and her mother but every time she tried, the words would stick in her throat.

Friday was a blur and she barely remembered it. She'd been so dizzy with a nasty headache that she barley functioned. After the panic attack at school, she'd locked herself in her room just wanting to sleep her life away.

Her mother, Aunt and Uncle burst through her bedroom door just as she'd succumbed to sleep. Too stunned to think clearly, she was forced to the football game. She remembered climbing into Noah's truck after the game knowing that she had to tell him on the way to Findlay.

Did they make it to Findlay?

"Sweetie, can you sit up? Your food is getting cold." The voice spoke next to her causing Quinn to jump again. So lost in thought she'd forgotten about the other person in the room with her.

Moving her hand from her forehead her fingers connected with the buttons on the bed frame but she couldn't figure out what she was touching. Anger flooded through her veins and she smashed her face up against the buttons, trying to decipher what she was touching through the limited circle of clear vision in the center of her eyesight. She blinked furiously, trying to clear the sleep away. It was like someone threw her in a bathtub of ice-cold water.

She slammed her head back against the pillows hard, pain shooting through her head, and closed her useless eyes, trying to block out everything.

"Sweetie, be careful." She felt the bed moving, becoming dizzy with the motion and rolled away from the nurse, effectively turning her back to the world.

….. Glee ….

Someone finally told her it was Monday and that she wasn't in Cleveland but in Findlay. She'd already figured out that she wasn't in an accident because only her knees ached when her hospital gown rubbed against them. Her headache was a different matter all together. The lights in her hospital room were lowered and pretty much left her to darkness.

She simply left her eyes closed most of the time and pretended to be asleep despite the constant coming and goings of the nursing staff.

Every sound seemed magnified now and she hated it. The ruffling of some book her mother was reading set her teeth on edge. She'd never feel the pleasure of a well-worn book underneath her fingertips again. Or see the words opening up whole new worlds in front of her face again. It wasn't fair. She'd lashed out, somehow finding the cup of water on her bed tray and flinging it her mother's direction, the cup clattering across the tile. A moment later her hospital room door clicked shut, leaving her alone to stew in her thoughts.

Maybe minutes, possibly hours later the door to her room opened. Quinn couldn't find it within herself to even care who had entered.

The chair next to the bed squeaked loudly as the therapist that she was thoroughly ignoring shifted in her seat. Quinn had no clue how long they'd been at this. She longed to just turn over and glance at the wall clock but couldn't.

The cool autumn breeze ruffled the blinds on the slightly raised window. She turned towards the window, feeling the sun warming her face. Quinn wondered if there was a screen on the window and how high up she was. The thought scared her, more than she wanted to admit, and she rolled away from the window facing the therapist.

"This can be as easy or as hard as you make it Quinn." The therapist, Sally or Suzie or Cindy, Quinn couldn't remember and didn't really care, spoke softly from beside her. "You have to be in Cleveland on Thursday. Until then, the only thing keeping you in this hospital Quinn is your silence and not eating. You could go home today."

Quinn bit her tongue, the bitterness of her blood, assaulting her taste buds. The slop this hospital called food sat untouched on her bed tray until the nurse finally removed it hours later. She refused breakfast that morning and now her lunch sat growing cold on the table beside her. She wanted to reach out and fling the tray at the therapist but couldn't summon up the energy to do so.

"It wouldn't do any good." Quinn sighed, squeezing her eyes tighter shut, before relaxing back into the bed with one arm tossed over her eyes.

She hadn't meant to say that.

"You don't want to go home?" It was asked simply and calmly and it made Quinn mad. Everything was making Quinn mad.

"I don't want your psychobabble bullshit." Not only had she managed to ruin the only true relationship she ever had, she failed to stop this from happening to herself and her language was enough to make Mother Teresa roll over in her grave. Her mother would be so proud of her, Quinn thought dryly.

... Glee ...

Tortured brown eyes gazed unblinking into the darkened hospital room. The teenage boy ignored the puzzled looks as he leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest practically daring anyone to tell him to move.

"Are you going in there?"

Puck tore his gaze from watching Quinn through the window of her hospital room. Before him a short redheaded nurse stood, a food tray in her hand. She nodded towards Quinn's room with a slight smile when he didn't respond.

"No," he replied quietly not wanting Quinn to overhear him.

The nurse nodded at him before moving to the doorway and knocked loudly on the doorjamb. After a moment she walked into the room.

"Your dinner is here, Quinn." Puck heard her say brightly as moved the tray to the rolling bedside table and pressed a button to move the bed upright.

His heart broke. Quinn was so small in the bed. Her mouth stretched into a tight grimace as she sat up. One hand tightened around the bed rail, the other rubbed at her temple.

"Do you need any help?" The nurse's voice brought his attention back to the room. As far as he could tell Quinn didn't reply. The nurse simply shrugged already moving back to the doorway. She paused just inside the door, turning back towards Quinn.

Puck didn't have to strain to hear the concern in her voice.

"The doctor wasn't joking when he said you will get an NG tube tomorrow if you don't eat. Do you want to be fed through a tube in your nose? You could eat that and go home in the morning. The choice is yours."

Puck flinched but Quinn simply rolled over in bed, turning her back on them. She gave Puck a 'good luck with her' look before moving off down the hallway. A rueful smile graced his lips. Quinn was in her stubborn as an ox in heat mood.

The smile slipped from his lips as the minutes passed by with her making no attempt at touching the food. To the casual observer, she looked asleep, but Puck had spent an inordinate amount of hours watching her.

She was simply being stubborn. He pushed himself upright from the wall and crossed over to the room. He knocked loudly against the jamb just like the nurse minutes before. Her shoulders stiffened slightly but she made no attempt to acknowledge him.

Crossing over he pulled a chair up, it's legs screeching loudly on the tile, and dropped her backpack on the foot of her bed, before plopping into the chair.

"Go away Puck."

He grimaced at his nickname. "Sorry. I can't do that."

She laughed. It wasn't that pretty little chuckle that caused his heart to flutter even if he would never admit that to anyone. It wasn't one of her deep belly laughs that he could hear from a mile away. No, the laugh was hollow sounding. A bitter wave of frustration and disbelieve crashing against the shore of one's life. It ate at him, like a corrosive set to his soul.

"Rrr-iiighttt." She drawled out, her hand clenching into a tight fist. "You were singing a different tune on Friday."

He held up his hands in surrender before dropping them to his lap. "You have every right to hate me."

She let out a puff of air, feeling empty inside, not even being able to summon the strength to be mad at him. She was simply confused and hurt.

"I'm not mad at you." She whispered. A moment later, she turned over searching for him in the vast expanse of nothingness she lived in now. "I don't hate you."

She can feel the exhale of his breath on her arm as he relaxed slightly.

"I just can't…" His breath caught and for too long she can't hear the slight rustle of his shirt of his inhales and exhales.

Quinn cleared her throat, her words drying up and refusing to escape. Finally, the air rushed out in a gush.

She wondered why trust takes months and years to build but can crumble in less than a heartbeat.

Puck knew it was now or never with her. Reaching over, he hesitated for a brief second before tucking her small hand into his. The contrast is startling. Her hands are soft and perfectly manicured. His are large and rugged. Together they are the perfect combination of beauty and brawn.

He squeezed her hand gently but felt no response.

"You may not be mad at me or hate me, but I hate myself for both of us. I shouldn't have locked you in the car, Quinn, when I knew you were struggling with panic attacks. But you make me so angry sometimes!" He wanted to get up and pace around but is afraid to severe the contact with her. He can feel her slipping away from them all.

"You don't have to go through this alone. But we, your friends and family, we can't help you if you won't let us."

"I'm broken." She whispered, her voice held so much pain and sorry that his heart cracked.

"No." She jumped at the force of his voice. He scooted forward in his chair and rested his chin on her hand. "WE are all broken. There's not one person on this planet that isn't broken in someway or another."

Later he wouldn't be able to pin point what came through him. A tear trailed slowly down his face, plopping sloppily onto his hand leaving wet track as gravity pulled it down towards hers.

"We all have scars Quinn. Some are visible on the outside and some are hidden inside. Artie uses a wheelchair and Sam has to get help reading. Becky Jackson has Down's Syndrome and will always be instantly labeled until people get to know her. Miss Pillsbury has some serious OCD and Coach S. has major issues that I can't even begin to decipher. Santana needs anger management. Rachel is both full of herself and really insecure at the same time. Mr. Schue lives his dreams vicariously through us. Beethoven was deaf. Picasso was probably schizophrenic. We all have our demons."

Her eyes open wide with shock; he could tell she was finally listening. Emboldened, he pressed on.

"So you'll have to learn to 'see' in a different way. I'm not belittling it Quinn. It's earth shattering. You feel like your world has ended but it doesn't have to break you. Look at Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder. My point is it's okay to be scared. It's okay to be mad. It's okay to think nothing will be the same but you can't let it stop you.

He didn't mean to go on so much but once he started he couldn't stop for fear of never getting a second chance to get it all out.

She smiled. It was tentative but to him it was perfect. She would always be perfection to him.

Quinn just wanted to indulge him, hoping he would get it out and then leave her alone. But somewhere in his monologue she started to relax.

"Say something." He pleaded.

Quinn cleared her throat. "Who are you and what did you do with Noah Puckerman?"

Puck chuckled into her hand.

"Scoot forward." He waited for her to scoot slightly forward before slipping in behind her, letting her relaxed back into his chest.

"I have my moments." He drawled out before turning serious. "Why aren't you eating?"

She simply shook her head, instantly closing off again.

"I would hate to see you have to undergo a senseless medical procedure because you're embarrassed." He regretted using the word 'see' when she flinched and tried to pull away but he held on tight. He knew her though. The first time they ate together she'd turn bright red with embarrassment as she fumbled to find the objects on her plate.

Finally, she relaxed back into him again, totally spent.

"I can't… We can't do this, Puck we can't be a couple. Not now. Not when I'm trying to deal with this." She made a vague motion towards her head but he knew what she meant anyway and was not surprised by the change of topic.

He was silent for a long time, his heart breaking a little more with each breath she took. He didn't deserve her. He knew that. She was perfection. And he was Noah Puckerman, destined to be a Lima Loser, but when he was with her the world felt whole. Lima felt like a blessing and not a curse. He didn't care if she could see or not.

Quinn felt him shift behind her. She wished more than anything he would say something. The silence was suffocating and only his breath against her neck kept her grounded in the here and now.

The box in his hand felt heavy, weighted down with guilt and regret. It was funny how just days ago it felt like the lightest thing in the world to him.

Quinn felt his fingers ghost down the length of her arm leaving a trail of goose bumps. She shivered.

"Puck." She groaned, trying to pull away.

Puck smiled against her neck, feeling the effect he was having on her. That wasn't his intention but he would never complain about it. The smile slipped when she started to pull away.

"Nuh uh. Just relaxed." He whispered. After the longest moment, she relaxed back into him but not fully. His heart thudded in his chest. She looked so worn out and weary. He wanted to take it away from her. He would give up his vision in a heartbeat if it would give hers back. But no amount of wishing would change things. The present was hard and it wasn't going away.

Quinn felt something pressed into her hand. Instinctively she looked down to figure out what it was and reality crashed back down on her. She couldn't see it.

"I had it all planned. We'd dance at homecoming and then I'd pull you aside and give you this."

Quinn was only half listening as she felt around the small box. Finally it dawned on her that she was feeling velvet. Her thumb connected with the slight texture change separating the top of the box from the bottom.

Puck felt her intake of breath against his chest and gently opened the box for her.

Her finger manipulated the ring inside and she gasped, pulling away from him, the box dropping from her hand and landing with a thud on the bed beside them.

Puck's gripped tightened on her, keeping her in place as she struggle to get away from him, but she was tethered to the bed by an IV.

He reached over, the bed squeaking loudly, and grabbed the fallen box. He traced the small green jewel on the top.

"It's the same shade as your eyes." He told her, still holding firmly to her waist. "The band is gold. It's not much but all I could afford."

"Go away." She begged him, her voice breaking as a sob shook her trembling body.

"I know I have to earn your trust again." He ignored her, not because he was mean or callous, but because he had to get this out or he would explode. She was slipping so far away from him it hurt. He could see her shutting down one fiber at a time. He couldn't blink for fear of her vanishing forever.

She opened her mouth but he stopped her with a gentle finger to her lips.

"Let me finish please?" After the longest moment, she nodded. He smiled down at her but it was hollow.

"I know I have to earn your trust again. I screwed up big time Quinn. I meant want I said in the Science Room at the beginning of school. I'll wait for you until the end of time and I know that you probably don't even want to consider me a friend right now. This," he guides her fingers back to the ring, "I want you to keep it. If you can ever find it within you to be a friend or something more then you'll have it."

The tears were streaming down his face and he wanted to scream because it wasn't supposed to be this way. The ring was supposed to be a promise to love her forever and to protect her heart always, not to beg back her friendship.

"I can't. Please just leave me alone." With that she rolled away from him, her jaw clenching tightly to prevent the tears from escaping.

"Quinn please?" He begged watching her fade away from him.

Minutes later, it could have been hours later, it felt like hours later he gently pulled himself upright on weary legs.

The box clunked softly against the hard tabletop as he gently placed it next to her food tray. His fingers lingered on the soft velvet. He could tell she wasn't asleep but she might as well have been.

Turning, at the doorway to look back at her, taking in her beauty that held every piece of his soul together.

"I love you." He whispered into the room before silently walking out the door.

Dwight Evans stopped him with a surprisingly gently hand on his arm. Puck's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. He felt like a fish out of water.

"She's so lost." The words came out nasally and he realized tears were still streaming down his cheeks.

He could barely react as he was pulled into a tight hug.

"I know son. I know."

**TBC**


	28. Chapter 28

Here we go. The mother of all chapters. All 8000 plus words for your reading pleasure, including the flashback that inspired this all. Enjoy and please review.

**Chapter 28**

"What do you see?"

Quinn hated that question. Who asked a blind person what they saw? She shook her head more than frustrated with the question.

Unknowingly, her pointer finger started picking at her left thumb. Her foot began to twitch up and down with nerves.

She currently sat in her Opthamologist's office on the south wing of Cleveland's Children's hospital, holding that weird plastic thing to 'block out the vision in your good eye' as the doctor instructed. After all this time she still couldn't remember what it was called.

She barely kept her laughter inside a 'her good eye'. As if her so called good eye was any better than her 'bad eye'. The fact that she even viewed her world as 'the more blind eye' made her want to scream. She had a splitting headache that simply wouldn't go away and she still felt so off kilter. She kept her thoughts to herself, not wanting another awkward as can be moment with another shrink.

"Not much." She finally answered.

Dr. King smiled patiently at her not surprised by her answer. It was an art to get his young patients to give descriptive enough answers to be useful. Teenagers were usually a challenge as well. That was the main reason he specialized in pediatrics.

Across the room she heard the distinctive breathing patterns of her mother and her neurologist, Dr. Ortez. There was some comfort in that. She focused on her breathing and not the fact that the walls were starting to close in on her.

"Dark? Light? Anything in the middle or the edges?" She felt the doctors breath against her cheek as he moved around her. She guessed he was moving around her. The ruffling of his lab coat and the squeaking of the stool was extremely loud and close in the quiet room.

Quinn breathed deeply in through her nose, letting it out slowly, her lips pursed tightly.

"If you're getting overwhelmed just take a moment." The doctor spoke softly. "We have all the time in the world."

Quinn snorted. She really doubted the doctor had all the time in the world.

"Quinn." Her mom reprimanded her from the corner.

Shaking her head, she tried to focus past the headache on what exactly she was seeing. It wasn't pure black like she thought it would be. She'd spent a lot of time thinking over the last several months what it would be like to lose all her vision and yet it did nothing to prepare her for the reality of it.

"I don't know if I can explain it," she admitted softly. She was smart, super intelligent even. Heck she was fluent in three languages and yet for the life of her she couldn't really come up with the words to describe her vision now. She could see but yet she couldn't. It left her head spinning.

Judy watched her daughter struggling from the corner of the large exam room. She glanced away unable to look at Quinn's uncovered eye moving constantly searching for something it wasn't able to find.

It had been one heck of a really long week. She clasped her hands together on her lap, ignoring the shaking. She hadn't broken her promise to Quinn to remain sober but she wouldn't lie either. She wanted to find a liquor store and drink her worries away. Dr. Ortez reached over and placed his hand on hers with a reassuring smile. She weakly returned it feeling like all her dirty secrets were on display.

"I don't know. It's like somebody threw thick dark goo in my eye."

Judy crinkled her brow at that. Grey goo? She tried to picture that but couldn't. Leave it to a teenager, she thought.

Dr. King nodded again and made a note in the large file on the desk to his right.

"Is it uniform all over?"

Quinn shook her head no, taking very small solace in the fact that he seemed to understand what she meant.

"It's, um, it's thicker in spots and maybe lighter in other spots. The center is really thick. I don't really know how else to describe it."

"You're doing great Quinn," he reassured her.

The chair squeaked again and Quinn fought with herself to keep from jumping at the sound. Her breath caught in her throat and she forced it out.

"Let me know if anything changes okay?"

She nodded at him and waited for something. She could feel herself searching, trying to see what he was doing. It made her nervous. Her hands shook and she clenched her left hand tightly.

"Are you doing something?" She finally forced the question she didn't want to ask out past the lump clogging her throat. She could hear him doing something and feel him as he moved near her left eye.

Her mother gasped in the corner but Quinn tried to ignore her. She was always letting her family down, a disappointment to them, and she simply couldn't deal with that right now. She ignored the sound, blocking her mother out completely.

"Okay, I'm going to dilate the eye so I can take a closer look inside." He spoke softly, his lab coat brushing against her arm.

She knew what was about to happen, she felt him gently pull her eyelid open wide and tip her head back. She'd done this hundreds of times in her sixteen years. She knew she was looking up at the ceiling but she saw nothing. Her throat clenched tight.

The cold liquid of the eye drops hit her eye; she jumped in the seat, her leg jerking with the motion. The pain of her scabbed kneecap connecting with a try barely registered through the shock. Something went clattering across the room causing her to flinch back, jerking her head out of his grasp. She dropped her right hand and light flooded back into half of her limited field of vision.

Her stomach lurched, the meager contents of her lunch that her mother forced down her throat on the drive to Cleveland, surged up into her throat.

Shame colored her face and she squeezed both eyes tightly shut, sending her into pitch-blackness.

"I'm just going get a nurse to help clean you up." Dr. King spoke softly into her ear. "Unless you would be more comfortable with your mother?"

Quinn leaned her head back against the chair, fighting against a second wave of nausea that hit her system. No, she didn't want her mother to clean her up like some little baby. The dam broke, angry tears surging down her face.

It took a bit of effort to get her cleaned up. She couldn't stop the sobbing and it was only when she literally ran out of breath, her sobs turning into hiccups, that she realized her mother was sitting beside her holding her hand, her thumb rubbing small comforting circles into the back of it.

"Thanks." She whispered between hiccups.

"It's alright, honey." Her mother's voice sounded strained but also soothing. Quinn leaned over, her body melding into her mother's side. Warmth spread through her, she thought she'd never be able to warm up again and welcomed the heat. She felt small and helpless, like she was a burden to everyone around her.

"The doctors need to finish up the exam but we can finish it tomorrow if you need more time." Judy offered, but Quinn was already shaking her head no.

"This is so embarrassing." She whispered, shame coloring her cheeks.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of." Judy quickly squeezed her hand again, but didn't offer more. Quinn was thankful. She didn't want to be coddled.

The door opened and she heard the rustling of the doctors' lab coats as they entered the room. Pulling in a deep breath, she straightened her back, and raised her head towards the sound.

"Quinn, I want to apologize. We had the lights super bright. You're going to be sensitive to extreme bright lights until your brain learns to adjust to the changes to your vision." Dr. King sounded sincere in his apology. She smiled weakly in return.

"It's not permanent?" She waved her hand towards her head.

"The headache, dizziness and nausea will go away with time." He repeated.

"My eyesight?" She knew the answer but found herself asking him anyway.

"Let's finish the exam and then we can discuss what we find."

Quinn settled back into the exam chair, her left hand held tightly by her mother. He asked her to describe the vision in her right eye. Reluctantly, she explained that she could barely see the clear portion through the blurry fog that she'd been experiencing for quite awhile now. The shadows were getting harder to distinguish and it shouldn't have but it shocked her how much worse her eyesight had gotten even in the last couple of days.

She was taken across the hall for function vision tests. She was far past the point where a visual acuity test, the chart on the wall, did her any good at all. On a normal day these tests, which were geared to measure how well she functioned with her remaining eyesight, made her want to scream. Now she just wanted to cry out her frustration.

She settled back into her hospital room at the end of the day exhausted and beyond frustrated at not being able to complete the tasks she could still do easily even the week before.

… Glee …

Sam dragged his feet down the long hallway at Cleveland's Children's Hospital on Friday evening. He didn't know what waited on him on the other side of Quinn's hospital door. His brother and sister were staying at friends house but his father thought Quinn could use his company. Truthfully he didn't know how much company he was capable of being. He was angry that this was happening to her again. It felt like a dark cloud had descended over his head and he couldn't get out from under it.

_The little blonde boy sat beside his mommy on the hard plastic chairs in the big playroom. His feet kicked endlessly back and forth in the air. He wanted to play with the big balance balls like he'd seen his cousin sitting on earlier but every time he asked, his mommy told him to sit still, be quiet and he could play at home because the balls weren't for play. It didn't make any sense to him._

_He was bored. He traced over the comic book in his hands, his fingers touching the pages in anticipation. Batgirl, now called Oracle, sat in a wheelchair in front of a cool computer but he had no idea what she was saying. He couldn't read the big bubble above her head. He really wished Lucy would hurry up so he could ask her to read it to him._

_His attention was drawn to his cousin's wheelchair, sitting empty, a few feet away. He glanced down at the page, before scrutinizing Lucy's chair. They didn't look the same. Batgirl's was big and plain and decidedly not cool. Lucy's was tiny but then again Lucy was tiny so in his six-year-old mind, he guessed that made sense. His daddy had painted the spokes on the wheels hot pink and the little wheels in front flashed when they moved. Hers had tall handles on the back that sometimes one of the adults would use to push if Lucy grew tired. His other cousin, Frannie, even painted a cool cartoon Lucy on the back in fabric paints. _

_He glanced back at the comic deciding that Lucy's chair was much cooler. He thought maybe Lucy would grow up to be like Batgirl, fighting crime from her wheelchair. She was the smartest six year old he knew even if she didn't go to school with him anymore._

_"It hurts." Lucy's whine caused him to look up. She was sorta standing in front of that walker thing with one of the adults that made her cry all the time sitting behind her on a stool. His hands were on Lucy's hips. Sam bristled slightly. He didn't like it when they touched her. She always cried when they moved her legs._

_His feet slowed their swinging until they stopped completely. His mother smiled down at him but he scowled at her, focusing back on Lucy. Lucy crossed her eyes in annoyance at her glasses slipping down her nose while she stared at her stubborn legs. She couldn't see without her glasses and if they slipped off completely she'd never walk the ten steps they were trying to get her to take. She didn't want to move her legs, they felt like a bazillion needles were poking them when she stood, and they didn't want to move for her no matter how hard she tried. She just wanted them to put her back in her chair so she could move around again. _

_Sam worried his lip when she lifted her hand to push the annoying glasses up, but immediately wobbled front and back before tipping sideways. His breath caught afraid she'd fall. She'd broken her nose once when she was learning to use her chair without that belt around her and fell, her nose connecting with the coffee table. He thought it was kinda cool the amount of blood everywhere but then it was Lucy's blood so that wasn't cool. The man behind her stopped her fall. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all, Sam thought. She looked really tired her breathing coming out in hitches, sweat pouring from her forehead. _

_Sam jumped to his feet starting towards his cousin but his mommy grabbed him by his arm._

_"It's okay Mary." The woman sitting a few feet away on another stool said. He glanced at her, before darting over to Lucy and shoving her glasses up her face. She blushed at him, a tiny smile quirking the corners of her lips._

_Emboldened, he ran to the woman on a stool. These adults didn't know how to get his cousin to move. _

_"Lucy Goosey!" He taunted, sticking his thumbs in his ears and jumping side to side._

_"Samuel!" His mother scolded him but the lady sitting beside him chuckled and motioned towards Lucy. _

_Sam knew she hated when he called her that. She scowled at him. He stuck his tongue out blowing spit everywhere. The corner of her mouth quirked higher._

_"Nah nah nah boo boo." He taunted, fully knowing that she could still beat him up if caught him. He'd let her too. She stuck her tongue out at him before frowning down at her legs._

_Sam jumped around landing with as much energy as he could when she slowly moved her right leg forward. His mommy sucked in her breath. The therapist behind Lucy beamed at her._

_"You can do it Lucy!" Sam cried out, jumping up and down with excitement. She glanced at him again and he nodded at her, his thumbs still stuck in his ears like some silly moose. Sam thought he heard her growl at him but he didn't care._

_Despite his constant jumping up and down, his breath caught in his chest when the toes of her left foot caught on the floor and she wobbled, but the man on the stool behind her simply reached down and moved her foot the rest of the way. Sam jumped up and down in excitement. She was a full step closer to him._

_Lucy was crying now and shaking badly but she looked up at him and he crossed his eyes at her, more spit flying through the air when he stuck his tongue out again. She giggled._

_Thirty minutes later, Sam Evans stopped his silly jumping around when his best friend in the whole wide world walker bumped into his legs._

_Mary released a breath she didn't realize she was holding when her son and niece collapsed into each other in a fierce hug. Two blonde heads tumbled to the padded ground, chests heaving in exhaustion. One from the exertion it took to get her broken body to move, the other from doing what it took to get his cousin to push past her fears._

_Neither kid lasted more than a few seconds on the car ride home before sleep claimed them._

Sam hesitated in the doorway as his mother and father move through it and over to his Aunt Judy's side. She's a mess, a thick novel tucked uselessly in her hands. She stared past his dad to the hospital bed, her eyes unblinking. It unnerved him.

Sam followed her line of sight. The girl in the bed looked nothing like his cousin and yet looked everything like her. She'd lost weight over the week. Weight she couldn't afford to lose. She was propped up in the bed, her head facing the doorway. His eyes lock onto her hazel ones, but there is no recognition that she saw him. He glanced back towards his aunt, the question is lodging in his throat, but she must have understood. Her eyes lowered, her shoulders slumping.

Anger flowed through him in a flash and he longed to slam his fist into the wall but two broken hands wouldn't do Quinn any good.

Quinn's mouth opens and closes, her throat bobbing, in a feeble attempt to free the cotton that seemingly decided it wanted to take permanent residence there.

"Sam?" His frown deepened for a brief moment, her voice is like gravel, but then he realized that her eyes were red and puffy from crying. The realization forces him farther into the room. Out of the corner of his vision he noticed a nurse sitting nearby, a hospital chart in her lap. She smiled at him and he returns it weakly, not really feeling any reason to smile lately.

"Yeah 'Cuz." His eyes take in the huge piece of hospital equipment next to her bed. He's never seen it before and he really can't figure it out. His head cocks to the side in concentration.

There's a huge bag filling with a yellowish orange liquid hanging from the top of the machine. There are a couple smaller bags of clear liquid beside it. There's IV tubes' going everywhere and bottles attached to the machine. He follow's one of the lines, tracing it down to Quinn's outstretched arm. His stomach lurches slightly when he realizes it contains her blood. He's never seen this machine before and he is pretty sure he never wants to see it again.

"Wow." He mumbles before he can stop himself. He breathes a sigh of relief at the slight quirk to her pale lips, her eyebrow arching.

"It's pretty impressive huh?"

"Well…" Sam fumbled for what to say. "What is it?"

Her shoulders shrug slightly. "Plasma exchange."

Sam nodded at her like he knows exactly what that means. Her giggle draws his attention.

"You have no clue what that is do you?" She asked him. He relaxed slightly at the sound. He'll admit it later when the family settles into the Ronald McDonald House directly across from the hospital for the evening that he didn't think she'd ever laugh again.

It's like salve to his worried soul. Quinn's early memories of her illness were hazy at best but to him they are crystal clear. When he'd overheard his parents talking about her relapsing again, his mind took him back to the worse days of their young lives.

"No clue." He replied dryly.

"C'mere." Her famous eyebrow arch is firmly in place as she pats the bed beside her. Sam licked his lips nervously looking at the nurse in the corner. Quinn's not made of ice, he knows that, but there are wires and tubes coming and going everywhere.

"Carefully." The nurse warns, standing up and moving towards the bed. He glances over towards his parents. They nod silently and then he practically can't get in the bed beside her fast enough. The nurse making sure nothing was dislodged as he climbed in throwing his arm around her shoulder immediately pulling her closer to him. She felt so cold and he instantly feels the shivers going through her. Reaching down he pulled the blanket up over them.

"So um, they take my plasma out." Her head turned towards him, speaking softly in the mostly quiet room.

He swallowed thickly watching her eyes moving rapidly trying to find him. His casted hand found her free hand and he squeezed it the best he can.

"That's the liquid portion of the blood." Sam frowned. Duh, blood is liquid. Wait, does that mean not all blood is liquid? He shook his head trying to clear the thoughts. Quinn chuckles next to him as if she knew what he was thinking. She's scary smart like that so maybe she does know what he is thinking.

"Anyway," she continues with a smile, "that machine does its fancy shmancy stuff and gives me new plasma."

"Is that a technical term Professor Fabray?" He asks her dryly.

"Uh huh." She closed her eyes beside him, her head relaxing back into her pillow, before turning towards the nurse. "I'm tired."

She sounded so small to him. He wanted to cry for her but he knows she doesn't need that on her plate on top of everything else. He tucked her a little tighter into his side willing his strength into her.

An hour later, Dr. Ortez sat next to her bed. She looked very drawn and tired from a combination of the week's events and the plasma exchange. On days like this, he really hated his job. They were fighting an incurable disease. Lying beside her on the bed was her cousin with his arm looped around her shoulders in support. Across the room her mother sat with her aunt and uncle.

Quinn cleared her throat, leaning closer to Sam. She was shaking but she couldn't stop. He reached over and pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. His hand grasped hers under the blanket again, squeezing tightly. She held on afraid that if she let go she'd be lost into the vast nothingness that seemed to be impinging on her from all angles.

"What's the verdict doc?" Quinn fought to keep her voice steady despite how scared she really was.

"Well, it's safe to say that the preventative measures we've been trying aren't working anymore. That's why we are doing the plasma exchange."

Quinn figured as much. "When can I go home?"

Sam didn't like the look the doctor shared with his aunt. It wasn't right for people to be having nonverbal conversations around Quinn. It really was rude and he felt ticked off for her.

"We are being really aggressive this time around in hopes that we can get the disease back in remission, Quinn. I want to do at least four, maybe five days of plasma exchange. After that I want to change up your steroids. We'll be monitoring you closely for side effects. The good news is that your respiratory system seems strong and you've not developed any paralysis, muscle weakness or any more tingling in your limbs."

"I hear a but." Quinn broke in. Her normally unflappable doctor sounded off to her ears. Maybe she was reading too much into it. It was easy to do, she was finding out, when she couldn't see anyone's facial expressions or body language.

"Your mother and I have been in contact with the Ohio State School for the Blind this afternoon."

"No." God she wished she wasn't attached to a giant machine. Sam squeezed her hand again; she pulled away with a fierce jerk.

"Quinn, you have less than 5 percent useable vision left."

"I KNOW!" The screech that left her mouth startled her and the rest of the room into silence.

Judy stood up from her seat in the corner and calmly set the book she hadn't been reading down. Dwight made a move to stop her but she just smiled at him sadly and moved across the room. She was going to be the mom that Quinn needed her to be.

"I've enrolled you and you'll finish this semester with tutors in Columbus and then start full-time in January." Judy fought to keep her voice calm and even. This was the right thing to do, to give Quinn the best chance at an independent life, even if her daughter refused to realize it. She had to stay firm on this.

Quinn gasped. Columbus was almost 2 hours away. There was no way she could commute everyday. Not that she had a way to commute on her own now anyway. She couldn't even find her way to the bathroom earlier. It was one thing to stay in the dorms over the summer, a sort of summer school if you will. It was another to be away for months.

Sam watched the emotions play across his cousin's face. At first there was shock, then confusion, followed by anger. Abruptly, Quinn closed off, her face blanking out. She turned her face away from the others and into his chest.

"You're kicking me out like before?" She sounded so broken even to her own ears.

Sam looked up into the shocked faces of all the adults. His Aunt Judy stumbled backwards, her hand clutching at her chest.

"No. Never." She gasped out, moving forward again. As soon as her hand connected with Quinn's shoulder, Quinn exploded.

The image would forever be seared into Sam's mind. It would haunt him for months to come, the sight of Quinn thrashing unable to escape with her arm being hooked up and part of her blood volume outside her body, her free fist wailing into his chest with no real strength, pure agony escaping with her sobs.

… Glee …

Walking through the hallways of McKinley, the contents of locker shoved in Sam's backpack and his gym back, felt so foreign and awkward to her now. So many memories were tied to this place but she felt numb more than anything now.

This was her life now and she had to find a way to continue on. It felt like an impossible task.

Her hand tightened on his elbow as he slowed to as stop at the side door to the auditorium. Laughter drifted out the closed doors and Quinn's shoulders slouched in realization.

"Please Q." He begged her. He had to get her inside even if it meant dragging her kicking and screaming.

Quinn was to tired to argue anymore. With a slight nod, she felt the air change as the door opened. Her free hand reached out to feel for it as she moved forward with him.

Rachel looked over as the door to the auditorium opened. Sam emerged first, his blonde hair catching in the stage lights.

Most of them hadn't seen Quinn in almost two weeks. Rachel breathed out a sigh of relief. Even though the car hadn't hit Quinn, the image was seared into her mind and she didn't really believe that she'd managed to pull Quinn out of the way just in time.

Puck watched Sam lead her to the stool in the center of the stage. Her cousin kept a steadying hand on her arm and nodded at the others. Reluctantly, Puck moved closer to them. He didn't feel like he belonged with them right now after promising Quinn he'd stay away until she was ready for her to become a part of her life again.

"Q-ball," Santana began forcing her voice to stay calm despite the raging emotions coursing through her at seeing her best friend sitting with them again. "The losers in this room wanted to serenade you and while it's all sappy and shit… just listen to the words okay."

Blaine waited until Quinn nodded slightly, her face downcast. If he didn't know better, if he didn't see the white cane folded across her lap, he would have thought she was just looking at her hands. He focused his attention on the piano. It felt so wrong playing this piano. It should be Quinn playing it, not him. He was okay at the piano but Quinn was… she was destined for greatness. Life could be cruel, he thought as his fingers played the opening rift.

_"Everybody falls sometimes. Gotta find the strength to rise. From the ashes and make a new beginning." _ Sam squeezed her hand, as he began singing, fighting to control his emotions and keep his voice soothing.

Puck stepped closer to her, his hand hesitating for a brief moment, before touching her shoulder. _"Anyone can feel the ache. You think it's more than you can take. But you're stronger. Stronger than you know." _ He sang past the lump in his throat, his voice rougher than normal from all the tears he cried recently.

Mercedes stepped up to Quinn with tears in her eyes, remembering those few short months, not even a year ago when Quinn was so down on her luck and living with her family. She tried to portray strength through her voice. _"Don't you give up now. The sun will soon be shining. You gotta face the clouds. To find the silver lining."_

The rest of New Directions joined her, their voices strong. _"I've seen dreams that move the mountains. Hope that doesn't ever end. Even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen. Silent prayers get answered. Broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do."_

Sam's grip tightened on her hand, strength passing between them. _"It doesn't matter what you've heard. Impossible is not a word. It's just a reason for someone not to try." _Tears were streaming down his face. He was at a loss on how to make her believe in herself.

Santana's voice rang out as she stepped closer to her best friend. Her hand joined Mercedes on Quinn's shoulder. _"Everybody's scared to death. When they decided to take that step out on the water. It'll be alright." _

Sam reached up brushing her bangs from her face before lifting her chin up. _"Life is so much more than what your eyes are seeing. You will find your way. If you keep believing." _ His thumb gently brushed a single tear making it's way down her pale cheek.

Everyone joined the chorus again. "_I've seen dreams that move the mountains. Hope that doesn't ever end. Even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen. Silent prayers get answered. Broken heart's become brand new. That's what faith can do."_

Puck sucked in a deep breath, his hand still resting on her shoulder. _"Overcome the odds. You don't have a chance. That's what faith can do. When the world says you can't. I'll tell you that you can." _His voice broke. He would always have faith in her, especially when she didn't have it in herself. Every single day she proved how strong she was. He loved her so much that he felt his heart had exploded into a million pieces and only she could make it whole again.

Will joined in on the last chorus. _"I've seen dreams that move the mountains. Hope that doesn't ever end. Even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen. Silent prayers get answered. Broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do. That's what faith can do."_ He didn't know what the future held for Quinn or how the club would cope in the coming weeks. Pride swelled within him that they'd once again put their teenage feuds aside to come to one of their own in a time of need.

Santana wrapped her arms around Quinn, hugging her fiercely. Quinn looked completely put together but Santana felt the shudder through her thin frame. _"Even if you fall sometimes. You will have the strength to rise."_

Puck silently backed away from Quinn as the others gathered around her, following Santana, until they were all hugging Quinn. No one noticed him moving through the dark auditorium until he reached the door at the top. Santana turned, locking her eyes with his, before he turned and let the door silently close behind him.

… Glee …

"Get up." Santana nudged the lump of flesh and bones currently slumped over underneath the bleachers with her foot. It didn't budge or even acknowledge her presence.

"Get up now!" She nudged harder.

"Go away!" Santana frowned.

"Are you drunk Puck?" She grabbed his shoulder, physically moving him on to his back.

"No… yes. Not nearly enough." He slurred looking up at her through bleary eyes. She kicked over an empty beer bottled, knocking it into three others, and pried the half empty bottle away from his mouth. He must have left the auditorium and started drinking. How he managed to get alcohol and second how he managed to drink that many bottles in the space of forty minutes, she didn't want to know.

"Do you want to be expelled?" She whispered angrily.

"Dohn' care." He slurred at her wearily, making a move to grab the bottle in her hands. Santana let him slump over on the ground. She stalked to the edge of the bleachers and peered out. She couldn't see Coach S. but that didn't mean she wasn't there.

Quickly she dumped the remainder of the bottle, ignoring the indignant 'hey', and tossed all the bottles into his backpack.

He probably didn't care but she refused to let the guilt Quinn would feel if he ended up in juvie from this actually happen.

"Come on." She mumbled, pulling him to his feet and looping his arm around her shoulders.

… Glee …

Santana looked through the living room into the study. Quinn sat on the piano bench, her shoulders slumped, head tilted slightly to the right. Santana frowned. Quinn never slouched. She always looked like her spine was made from a ruler instead of cartilage and bone.

Santana knocked lightly before entering. She caught sight of the internal pain Quinn felt as she turned her head towards the door and her face blanked out becoming emotionless. Santana's eyes narrowed in thought when Quinn instantly straightened from the slouched position.

Quinn sniffed, recognizing Santana's perfume.

"What do you want?"

"Hey San, how's it going?" Santana replied dryly.

Quinn fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"I thought you might like a girl's touch packing your suitcase." Santana replied when it was obvious that she wasn't going to get a rise out of Q.

"Like?" Quinn scoffed, sarcasm lacing her words.

"Okay, well, need then. I'm helping you pack whether you want me to or not." Santana wasn't going to walk on eggshells around Quinn. She knew her friend well enough to know that Quinn wanted to be treated like normal.

Santana caught sight of the thin layer of dust on the closed piano lid. Her eyes shot to the giant sized sheet music on the card table beside Quinn. She swallowed deeply.

"Don't you have something Cheerios to do?"

"Nope. Glee sectionals are tomorrow. I'm chillin' with my bestie tonight." As soon as she said it she wished she'd kept her mouth shut. Something she couldn't decipher flickered over Quinn's face before it settled back into the closed off mask.

Quinn hadn't even thought about sectionals. She felt guilty but obviously the group had come up with something last minute. 'Rachel will at least get her solo', she thought bitterly.

"Come on." Santana prompted again.

"Whatever." Quinn mumbled standing up slowly from the bench. Her balance was still off and she brought her left hand down suddenly to keep from pitching sideways. Her hand came in contact, palm first, with the closed piano lid. The dust tickled slightly under her sensitive skin. She pulled her hand away abruptly wiping the dust onto her jeans leg.

Turning slightly she reached for her cane. Her hand grasped around the cold thin metal. She hesitated for a brief second thinking about Santana standing behind her but she really had no choice in the matter. She cleared her throat, hearing the cane unfold even as her hands worked to straighten the cane. Her fingers felt down the length of the cane to make sure everything was in place. She was clumsy enough without the cane collapsing on her.

Santana shifted nervously as Quinn took baby steps forward. The cane kept connecting with things and getting hung up. First, the leg of the piano bench then the cardboard table followed by Santana's foot. Santana scooted back a step. Finally the cane clucked loudly against a piano leg causing Quinn to scowl and reach out with her free hand feeling the leg. Her eyes widened when she figured out what she hit.

"Sonofa… crap. That didn't leave a mark did it?" Quinn was pissed. First, at how frustrating this was that she couldn't even walk a few feet without feeling like a failure and second, that she might have left a permanent mark on her most prized possession. All thoughts of ever performing professionally left her when she woke up with the remaining vision gone, but she could still play for herself.

Santana scrutinized the pristine white piano leg. "Nah Q, it's good."

A puff of air left Quinn causing her bangs to flutter. "Let me take your arm," she mumbled blushing as she did so. It's not like her friends handed been letting her take their arm for a few months now. This just felt different. Before she could see enough to help dodge objects. Now, she had to have faith that they weren't going to run her into the wall or a door or who knows what. Quinn felt like she didn't have faith in anything anymore.

"Sure." Santana looped Quinn's arm through hers, feeling Quinn sigh slightly beside her. She didn't know if it was a relieved sigh or a frustrated sigh. Probably both.

"What's going on?" Her aunt asked as they moved forward, the acoustics changed. Quinn figured they must be in the living room; the TV was playing the news. Was it the five o'clock or seven o'clock? She had no sense of time anymore. Sometimes she thought mere minutes had past only to find out it was closer to an hour and vice versa. It made the days stretch on and she felt incredibly lonely even surrounded by her cousins. In the distance she could barely make out Stacy's squealing laughter.

"Mrs. E. I'm gonna help Q here pack her shi… stuff."

Quinn blushed and playfully shoved the arm she was holding.

"Where's mom?"

Santana watched Quinn's aunt look down pretending to be studying her fingernails.

"She's at a church meeting." Her voice almost came off completely natural but her eyes darted to Santa for a brief second before glancing away.

"Oh." Quinn stiffened. If it was really a church meeting, then her aunt would be there too. After her blow up in the hospital, she'd barely spoken to her mother. She vowed to ask her aunt if she was still sober and if the AA meetings were working. But that would have to wait for a private moment away from Santana and her younger cousins.

"Dinner will be ready in an hour. Santana, will you be joining us?"

Santana turned slightly to gauge Quinn's reactions. Her best friend turned bright red, her head ducking down towards the ground.

"Sorry Mrs. E., I ate before I came. Maybe next time."

Mary Evans nodded gratefully at the girl her son was dating. Or at least she thought they were dating. She wasn't exactly sure what the relationship between the two was and didn't really want to think too much on it. Santana could be crass but she obviously cared about Quinn. For that, Mary would forever be grateful.

Santana decided that Quinn was embarrassed enough and headed towards the stairwell. It was slow going and she could feel Quinn trembling beside her with each step up. She couldn't even begin to imagine how terrified she must be.

As they crested the top of the stairs, the music that was being blasted switched songs, Korn assaulted their hearing. Quinn groaned loudly.

"What?" Santana practically screamed over the sound. She didn't think that Quinn heard her, even with her super sonic hearing, but finally she groaned again just as the tip of the cane hit the edge of her doorway.

"I can't hear this." For emphasis, the cane hit the doorway again, and Santana realized that she couldn't hear the tapping sound that had accompanied them every time they moved. She didn't know a lot about this sorta thing but it must have been important for Quinn to hear the sound.

Quinn felt her knee connect with the edge of the bed and pulled her hand from Santana's arms, feeling for it. She breathed out a sigh of relief when her fingers connected with the soft material. The noise coming from Sam's room was making her even more dizzy than normal. It was hard enough when she really had no sense of where in space she was but being in loud and congested areas really threw her off.

Following the edge of the bed her outstretched hand connected with the wall.

Santana watched Quinn with real concern. She was sweating and her breathing picked up rapidly. Was she going to have another panic attack? If she never saw Quinn have another panic attack, it would be too soon. They gave her nightmares.

Just when she thought Quinn was going to crash face first into the wall, and she wondered if she should stop her, Quinn's hand connected with the wall. A look of relief crossed her friends face before it turned to annoyance and she pounded her fist three times against it.

After a brief moment when nothing happened she pounded louder. The music cut off abruptly followed by a mumbled 'sorry' being yelled through the wall. Quinn rubbed her temple in relief.

"I don't want to do this." She mumbled, using the length of the bed to guide her away from the wall.

"So, closet first?" Santana fought to keep her voice normal, seeing Quinn struggle in her own room was much harder than she thought it would be. There was no 'best friend instruction manuals' on what to do.

"Sure." Quinn dropped the cane on the bed instead of throwing it across the room like she wanted to. The thing was useless. It made her feel like a fumbling fool. More than that, it labeled her as disabled. She'd fought most of her young life to overcome that label only to be thrust back under it every time she started to feel like things would be okay. Her life was some morbid soap opera.

Santana saw the cloud pass over Quinn's face. She crossed over to the iPad and hit the music app. Looking through the playlist she realized most of it was piano music. Go figure, she thought. Finally she randomly selected one before crossing over to the bed and pulling Quinn towards the closet.

They worked mostly in silence, Quinn sitting on the floor because her balance was crap and she didn't feel so lost firmly planted on the floor. Plus her shoes were at her level. It didn't take her long, as her hands glided over the shoes, her fingers picking at this or that, to realize she had no way to tell what color they were. A groan of frustration escaped her.

"What?" Santana asked from across the room where she was tossing socks and underwear into the suitcase.

"Are these the red ones?"

Santana glanced up with a frown, her fingers connected with something shoved in the back of the drawer, and pulled it out.

"Hmm?" Distracted, her eyes widening when the object emerged.

"What are you doing?" Quinn shook the shoe in her hand, hoping Santana would pay her attention. She didn't want to stumble across the room to figure out what her friend was doing.

"Oh yeah. That's the red ones."

"Ooo-kay." Quinn drawled out, dropping the shoes into her lap, before digging through the closet again in search of her winter boots.

"What's this?" Santana asked while opening the ring box she'd found shoved under a layer of socks. It was simple yet also very elegant. It had to have cost a fortune.

Quinn turned her head in Santana's direction, anger instantly coursing through her. She was so hot and cold lately it was infuriating.

"I don't know what THIS is!" She ground out between clenched teeth. Santana remained silent. Quinn could barely hear her breathing. Was her friend starring at her?

"Ugh." She groaned, collapsing back against the floor and running a shaking hand through her hair before making a fist in a feeble attempt to make it stop shaking. "Sorry."

If it weren't for the fact that she could hear Santana breathing, she would have thought that she'd been abandoned. After a long moment, she felt a hand on her shoulder pulling her back to a sitting position.

"It's cool." Santana spoke next to her. "I guess we all have to figure this shit out huh?" Santana cleared her throat. "So, it's this ring. I've never seen it before. Looks expensive." She placed the box in Quinn's shaking hands.

Quinn flushed bright red and stopped shaking for a brief moment.

Santana's mind flashed to a very drunk Puck underneath the football bleachers. The tremors started in Quinn's hands again, Santana hesitated for a brief moment, before reaching out and clasping her friend's hand firmly in hers. Quinn didn't pull away.

"Oh. Well, um, do you want to take it with you?"

Quinn's brow scrunched in concentration. Santana thought it looked cute but wisely kept her mouth shut.

A shrug was the only response she received. That wasn't helpful. Maybe Quinn wasn't upset with Puck as everyone thought she was. After all, the ring wasn't flung at her head. She shifted slightly sticking the box in the suitcase beside Quinn.

"What jewelry do you want to take?"

"None."

"Why?" Santana was surprised but she shouldn't have been.

"I just don't want to take any okay?" Quinn ground out, stumbling to her feet and over to the bed. "I'm tired San."

Santana knew she was being dismissed. She was torn between giving in and forcing Quinn to face the fact that she didn't want to take jewelry because it would be hard for her to figure out what was what. Quinn did look really beat though.

Quinn felt the bed dip as Santana sat down beside her.

"So everything's packed now." Santana rubbed her toes over the carpet next to Quinn's bed. She looked around. Q's closet was empty except the bare hangers. Three suitcases sat next to it.

"Don't you dare cry, Satan." Quinn groaned out, feeling her own tears start.

"Okay." Santana whimpered into Quinn's blonde hair as she pulled her into a fierce hug.

Her throat clenched. While everyone else was busy loosing it, she'd forced herself to stay strong. Seeing Quinn's belongings packed made it all real.

"I'm only a phone call away, Q. Anytime, even if it's 2 AM. Please… just call me…" She couldn't continue, her voice cracked, when she felt Quinn nod. She pulled back, taking Quinn's drawn features in before moving across the room to the door. This wasn't goodbye.

"Oh and Q." She waited until Quinn's head turned towards her voice. "If you tell anyone I sobbed all over you," she threatened, wiping at the tears still in her eyes. "Everyone will know about what you did in cheer camp in 8th grade."

She didn't wait for a reply, turning towards the hallway.

Quinn's indignant 'hey' rang out as she sprinted down the stairs and out the front door, leaving a confused Sam behind.

**TBC**

Wow, what an emotional roller coaster to write. I feel drained. Thank you for the support. Please review. I can't stress that enough. I need to know what you all are thinking as I move this story into a little bit of a transition period. This story is a marathon and not a sprint. So please review for me and let me know what you would like to see out of it. And don't worry I'm a die hard Quick fan in this one so...

Song = "What Faith Can Do" by Kutless.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. No copyright infringement intended.

I feel like I may have lost a few readers during the massive last chapter so I wanted to get this one out as soon as I could.

**Chapter 29**

Quinn didn't think she would fall asleep that first night in her room in the high school girl's cottage. The school superintendent explained to her that the cottages were one-story dorms broken down into five groups. All of the high school girl's were in one cottage with the high school boys in another. There was another one for the elementary and junior high girl's and one for the elementary and junior high boy's.

The last cottage was an off campus apartment that Juniors and Seniors used to learn how to live completely independently. To live completely independent felt like such a foreign concept to Quinn now.

She'd been placed into a single room but that might change in January. She wasn't sure if she wanted a roommate or not. The dorm was suffocating in its silent state and the sound of her breathing was shockingly loud to her ears. In the three months her cousins lived with her, she grew to find comfort in the sounds they made. She missed having Sam right down the hall to protect her. She missed the creaking and groans of her house settling in the middle of the night. She missed everyone and now she was alone in a foreign place.

A knock came from her door and Quinn reached over fumbling on her desk for her watch. The knock came again, only louder, and she felt the watch slip through her fingers. A second later it hit the ground with a loud clank.

"Ugh." Quinn mumbled before collapsing back on the bed and pulling her soft blanket over her head. The light scent of home soothed her briefly.

"Quinn do you need any help this morning?" She didn't recognize the voice calling through her closed door. Was it one of the housemothers? Quinn tried to recall a name but her mind blanked out on her. She met one of the youth leaders that lived in her dorm yesterday as her mother unpacked her suitcases. This voice she heard now was different, she decided.

"Quinn?" The knock came again just as she started to drift back to sleep.

"No!" She fought to keep the growl out of her voice. She wanted to stay under the covers of her bedspread until Friday came and she could go home for the weekend. "Um, no thank you. I'm good."

Good wasn't really the right term. More like terrified.

"Alright. Mrs. Davidson will be here at 9. I have some oatmeal in the kitchen for you."

She lifted her head out from under the blanket for a moment before tossing it back over her head.

Who was Mrs. Davidson?

She had so many names thrown at her yesterday during her lengthy orientation that they were all jumbled up in her mind. Was she her mobility instructor or her Braille teacher? The guidance counselor told her that they would be starting her right away on those skills.

She listened to the steps disappear down the hallway until she couldn't hear them in the quiet dorm.

Quinn flung the blankets off and swung her feet over the side of the bed. The linoleum was cold against her soles. Goosebumps shot up her arms; she shivered while rubbing at them.

She dropped to the floor, her hands sweeping in increasingly larger arcs, searching for her watch. Finally, when she was about to give up and deal with finding it later, her fingertips grazed it wedged almost completely behind the desk.

She was out of breath with the effort and energy but a small smile crept over her face until her fingers activated the watch.

The time is Eight – O – Five – AM.

"Crap." Her hair stuck to her forehead from sweating during the night but she didn't have time to shower and made a mental note to not fall asleep without setting her alarm again. The room was so unfamiliar to her. Back in her room in Lima, she'd perfected her morning routine. As long as no one moved anything, she could get herself ready with minimal effort and energy spent.

'Well that was before', she thought bitterly.

The bathroom was five steps forward from the bed and two steps left, she kept her hand on the desk next to her bed until the fifth step then turned left taking two steps. Her outstretched hand caught the edge of the door and she let out her breath. All the pacing around in her room last night trying to memorize its layout was worth it, even if she thought she probably looked like a fool.

She felt the cool ceramic of the sink underneath her fingertips. Running her hand up the back of the sink, she felt for and finally found the faucet. Once it was on she fumbled around until she connected with the toothbrush and toothpaste. Instinctively she looked up towards the mirror to examine her hair, the toothbrush sticking out of one side of her mouth.

She let out a deep breath, tears springing to her eyes.

She was out of breath almost a full half hour later when she finally opened the door to her room wearing a red Cheerios sweatshirt, blue jeans and her black Chuck Taylor's. Okay, so that's what she thought she was wearing. She didn't have too many sweatshirts and she wore the black shoes all the time. The treads on the bottom were worn down and smooth underneath her fingertips.

Despite her earlier sweating she couldn't seem to get warm. If she were thinking clearly, she would have recognized that it was nerves. She was halfway out her door before she realized she didn't have the cane and had to go back for it.

… Glee …

"What are you doing?"

"Hmm?" Quinn didn't understand the question. She was trying not to spill her oatmeal all over her shirt.

"Your hand."

Quinn paused, the spoon midway to her mouth. The voice from before belonged to Momma Kay, one of the housemothers. Currently Quinn was sitting across the large kitchen table from the woman. She wondered what the older woman looked like. Her voice was very soothing. Quinn liked it and found herself relaxing.

Thankfully it was mostly a straight walk from her dorm room to the large communal living room where Momma Kay was waiting for her. The dorms were too quite but she was assured that would change when the students came back from their various homes around the state that afternoon.

Quinn felt the need to sincerely thank the woman for sticking around on Sunday when she found out that all the students went home every Friday and returned back to the school on Sunday afternoons. She was encroaching on the youth leaders and dorm mother's free time. Her thank you was shrugged off with a simply, 'If I didn't want to do it I'd have tossed you off on one of the youth leaders. You're welcome.'

Quinn was incredibly grateful in that moment and felt the tears start up again. She wondered just how two sets of tear ducts could produce so many tears in such a short timeframe.

Now she was sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of cinnamon apple oatmeal, the tastes of fall warming her from within, and pondering just what her housemother meant by her hand.

Quinn chewed, swallowed and let the spoon drift slowly back to the bowl. Her left hand stopped it's tapping, her pointer finger resting on the edge of the bowl as tucked her hair behind her ear.

Only after she'd grabbed the spoon again and the fingers on her left hand resumed the previous tapping did she realize what Momma Kay meant. She blushed. The tips of her ears felt hot and were probably bright red.

"Oh, um, just something I was composing." Quinn felt the pang of pain whenever she thought of the half finished piano piece that she'd never be able to get down on paper now that she couldn't see the sheet music anymore.

"Piano?"

"Yes, though I wanted to eventually compose all the orchestral sections."

"That's impressive." Momma Kay's voice did sound impressed. "I play a little piano myself. How long have you played?"

"Five. My Nana Angela taught me." As much as she missed the old family heirloom and felt sadness whenever she thought of that piano, she would be forever grateful for her Nana bringing it into her life.

"You'll love it here then. We have a great music department. There's an orchestra and varsity choir. One of our residents will be attending a music program in Pennsylvania this summer to learn braille music but you can ask Mr. Allen about it."

Okay, so Mr. Allen was either the Braille teacher or the Music teacher, Quinn deduced. That meant Mrs. Davidson must be the mobility instructor.

Remembering her appointment, her fingers drifted to her watch but hesitated. Normally she only activated the talking watch when she was alone. Quinn realized how silly that was. She was sitting across the table from a woman who took care of twenty plus high school girl's all with blindness or various degrees of visual impairment.

The time is Eight – Fifty – Two – AM.

"Let me get your morning medication." A chair squeaked across the floor followed by what sounded like typing on a computer.

She turned her head towards the sound. Having to be given her medication instead of doing it for herself didn't sit well. How would she know if it was the correct ones?

"Will I be able to do that myself?" She surprised herself with the question.

"Oh sure. You'll learn techniques to tell what is what but in here only myself or the other housemother will distribute your medicine. Never except it from anyone else."

"Oh." That didn't really clear anything up for her. She would just have to trust this woman to make sure it was right.

A faucet turned on and Quinn picked out the sound of a glass being filled with water. Moments later, it clanked against the table in front of her.

"I'm a registered nurse Quinn. We keep everything locked up and I have to enter special codes to access the medication. The computer tells me exactly what you are prescribed and if there are any questions I can call our doctor on campus or your specialist in Cleveland. Don't worry." A paper cup was placed in her hand before Momma Kay moved away from her. She dropped the spoon into the bowl, her right hand moving to feel in the cup at all the pills. Maybe when she was home she'd ask her Aunt to let her touch each pill so she could try memorizing them; if that was even possible.

Quinn wondered if the concerned was written across her face or maybe that was some pre-written spiel that was told to everyone. She scratched at her earlobe nervously.

Her thoughts were interrupted voices in the hallway.

Quinn nervously gulped down the pills; a blood pressure medicine, the steroids which she had to take for fourteen days, an anti-nausea pill as the steroids tended to make her stomach upset and her raging nerves made it worse, the mood stabilizers which she wasn't sure if it was really working, a horse sized multi-vitamin and a bevy of supplements to try to stave off any colds and boost her over-taxed immune system. Colds could spell disaster for her respiratory system and the weather was dropping quickly. She felt a little bit like a walking talking pharmacy.

That brought a smile to her face. She could just imagine Sam or Santana cracking some joke at her expense. The smile faded, as the footsteps grew closer. Quinn stood up, keeping one hand on the table to take her bowl to the dishwasher when she realized she had no clue where it was in the room or even if there was a dishwasher in the room.

"Don't worry about those today. You'll get plenty of opportunities to clean up after the girls during our Sunday evening dinners." She smiled towards Momma Kay's voice, relaxing slightly despite her nerves at meeting someone new without being able to see them.

"I'm Mrs. Davidson but you can call me Emily if you'd like?"

Quinn wasn't really sure what she was supposed to do. Her gut instinct was to shake this new persons hand like her daddy taught her. She smiled nervously and went with her gut, sticking out her hand and was slightly surprised by the firm grip instantly meeting hers.

"Lucy. It's good to meet you. I'm going to be your O&M instructor while you're here." Mrs. D seemed nice to Quinn. At least her voice was pleasant and not condescending like Coach Sue's back in Lima.

"Quinn. I go by my middle name. I prefer Quinn."

"Fair enough, Quinn. Are you ready to get started?" Quinn heard the smile in the voice before her and breathed a sigh of relief just starting to realize how much she was going to have to explain her name to all her teachers. It was like being back at McKinley for the first time in 8th grade only without being able to see the curious looks from her classmates.

Quinn nodded nervously, tucking her hair behind her ears again, before tugging at the earlobe. She wasn't really ready but she had no choice now.

"Good. We'll work today on learning the layout of the cottage and the immediate area surrounding it and tomorrow we can work on the school buildings. Does that sound alright?"

Quinn shrugged, not really. "Sure I guess." She smiled tentatively towards Mrs. D's voice realizing that she didn't smell Momma Kay's perfume anymore. They must have been left alone.

"I have some things set up in one of the study rooms. I'd like to assess how you use your cane."

There were study rooms in the dorm? Quinn didn't know that but it made sense given how many students lived in the dorm.

"I'm not sure where that is," she admitted. "I barely made it from my room to here."

"That's okay. I'll be teaching you the layout. Just stop in the living room and we'll do sighted guide from there."

Quinn nerves kicked in then and felt her hands start to shake. She shook them out angrily then felt across the table for her cane. It still seemed strange to call it hers and she definitely didn't want to use it but at the same time she felt really lost without it.

The wrist strap was pulled off the folded cane allowing it to snap into place. Now that the instructor was here watching her, she really wished she'd paid more attention in her brief training in the hospital. She felt clumsy as she moved forward, instantly forgetting which direction the doorway was or where she was in the room.

Finally after what felt like forever, the cane getting caught up constantly on objects, connected with something softer. Her fingertips felt fabric, her hand smoothed over it tracing the object. It was definitely a couch or maybe a chair.

"This is so frustrating." She blew out a puff of air, her bangs fluttered away from her sticky forehead. "I hope this is the living room."

"It is. You're doing great and this will get less frustrating and easier with practice."

Quinn wondered if that was true. She'd never really been challenged learning to play the piano and in school she was mostly bored even in her AP classes. Learning how to function in this vast nothingness seemed an impossible task that would never get easier.

She was told to grab her instructor's arm just above the elbow, which was the correct sighted guide form. It was easier to move through space like this than looping her arm through her friends. She felt her instructor slow down, her arm moving closer to the center of her body.

"When I do this, I'm moving my arm to the center of my back. It means we are going through a narrow or congested space." She was informed as they slowed to a stop.

She felt her right hand guided to a door handle. After a moment, she realized she was supposed to open it. She turned the handle. The door squeaked as she pulled it open and they moved through it. Only a few steps into the room, her hand was guided to the back of a chair. She felt down the length of the cushion and across the seat gauging it's width and depth before sitting down. One hand found the edge of the table and she scooted the chair around to face it before folding up her cane and sticking it on the floor under the right edge of her chair.

She could hear Mrs. Davidson moving around the room. She wasn't exactly sure but this room seemed smaller to her ears.

"How long have you used your cane?" It was asked without any judgment.

Quinn thought on that. She'd been released from the hospital on Thursday. She'd somewhat used it on Friday in her house and mostly carried it folded yesterday during her orientation meetings while hanging on to her mother's arm for dear life.

"Three days."

"You're doing great with it." Quinn thought she was being too kind. She wasn't that great with it, or even good with it for that matter. "Tomorrow I'll show you our cane supply room and the different types of canes and tips we have. We can test out which ones will be the most useful for you."

Quinn was slightly curious. She had the one the hospital gave her and had no idea there were other types of canes. She hadn't really paid attention to that when she had her vision.

The chair next to her squeaked across the floor and she heard her instructor settle into it.

"There's a tactile map directly in front of you."

"Tactile map?" Quinn moved her hands forward feeling the thick paper and ran her right hand over the top of it feeling a bunch of different textures.

"Yes. It's essentially a layout of this dorm with all the rooms marked in Braille, shapes and textures. We also have street maps and the school buildings. This will help you get a picture in your mind of what the building looks like."

Quinn understood now she loved to look at maps as a kid and would memorize them. "Back at McKinley I drew a map of the school in sharpie so I could find my classes the first day."

"This is exactly like that but only with your fingers being your eyesight so you can see the map. Does that make sense?"

Quinn nodded. She already figured out in just such a short time span how important her sense of touch was going to be. Her fingers were more to her now than just a way to caress the ivory keys of her piano.

Her hands were guided to a section of the map.

"What shape is this?" Her tongue stuck out slightly between her pursed lips in concentration as her fingertip ran over the shape once, twice, three times.

"Square or rectangle." She felt again. "Definitely square."

"This is front door which is connected directly to the living room. To the right is the kitchen." Quinn closed her eyes as her hands were guided along the map, taking in the different shapes, which represented each room. She was guided back to the living room and down a set of hallways where the residences were. Quinn found out she was actually in room number one, the single dorm room that sometimes visitors used to stay overnight.

She quickly realizing that she really liked Mrs. D. and felt comfortable with her instructor despite her fumbling attempts to figure out the shapes under her fingertips. She seemed pretty kind and so far Quinn never felt talked down upon like she was stupid.

At three o'clock that afternoon she collapsed in her bed, her headphones on playing Mozart's Requiem in D Minor for piano equally spent from her first day of mobility training and nervous about meeting the girl's in her dorm. She didn't know any other blind kids and wondered what they would be like.

**TBC**

Author's Note: I am using Ohio State School for the Blind mainly in name only. I have never visited the school so I am not that familiar with its layout though I have researched it online to the best of my ability. I will try to incorporate as much real to life aspects of it as I can but this is a fictional story based in a fictional world. I'm definitely taking liberties with this. Also, I am not blind. My Grandmother was visually impaired but did not use a cane nor did she know Braille. Her vision was actually quite good and she only really needed a magnifier and a talking watch. So, to get a better understanding I blindfolded myself for a week and even though I stayed in my house it really did enlighten me. My thoughts are not necessarily Quinn's thoughts though some of them are the same. I've done a lot of research for this but again I plan on using some fictional liberties as well.

Author's Note 2: I received a nasty PM regarding grammar and spelling. First I'm thankful that it was sent in PM. Second, I've decided to address it. I'm dyslexic and I really am trying my best. For example I know that 'there', 'their' and 'they're' are three different words and I know in what instances they are supposed to be used in. However when I write 'there' sometimes looks like 'their'. They sometimes comes out as The but to me because I know that I am writing They then The actually looks like They to me. (hence Sam's thought that the words weren't being nice to him) Therefore, proof reading is a bi-otch. Plan and simple. That being said, if you are a Beta or know of a Beta and would like to help me out then please PM. I would love the help.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: Glee does not belong to me. No copyright infringement intended.

Thank you for all the reviews.

**Chapter 30**

Something woke Quinn. At first she was completely disorientated. The bed underneath her was not her memory foam mattress but the covers were her own.

The sound came again. Sitting up, she pulled off her headphones, and realized it was footsteps, doors slamming and lots of laughter that woke her. For a brief moment she wanted to tell Stacy and her friends to settle down but then she realized that the voices she heard were much older than five year olds.

Reaching out, her fingers grazed cold metal and not her watch. Quinn scratched at her head, her face the picture of bewilderment. She rubbed her hand up the object and felt her face heat up on the side closest to it.

It dawned on her where she was and why. What she couldn't figure out was why she needed a desk lamp and where her watch went.

Dropping to her knees she felt behind the desk. A moment later, she pulled out the runaway watch for the second time that day. Maybe she could find a piece of string and tether it to the lamp. That way the lamp would be more than an object taking up space on her desk and actually be useful. Better yet, maybe she would ask Sam or Santana to help her find one online that went around her wrist.

The time is Four – Forty – Nine – PM.

Wow, she almost slept for two full hours. She didn't realize she was that tired when she laid down after spending hours wandering around the dorm on the arm of her mobility instructor, trying to memorize the layout of the building and the number of steps between different areas within the building. It was larger than she imagined it to be.

She felt like her mind was going to explode from all the information jammed into it. The sad part, she realized, was that she was only just touching the tip of the iceberg of learning to live like this.

Standing up, she straightened her bedspread, feeling along the edges and in the corners, tucking here, pulling there until she felt like maybe it looked presentable.

Five steps forward. Two steps left.

Her hand found the doorjamb to the bathroom. After only a moment she found her hairbrush and quickly combed the bedhead from it. She definitely needed to wash it tomorrow before it turned super frizzy on her.

The time is Four – Fifty – Seven – PM.

Quinn wondered if one of the youth leaders would come searching for her if she didn't show up for the dorm meeting. Earlier, she may have been a little excited at the idea of meeting some of her new classmates. Now though, she wanted to crawl back under her covers and pretend like she was back in Lima with the friends she's known for years. They were safe.

She wasn't surprised when a knock came on her door just as she decided she would crawl back under her covers and hide away. She didn't normally associate herself with being shy but right now she felt painfully shy.

"Quinn. Everyone needs to be at the dorm meeting. Do you need a guide?" She thought maybe it was the youth leader she briefly met yesterday but she wasn't sure.

She unstrapped the cane listening it click into place, and felt for her door handle. Once outside the noise intensified greatly and she instantly felt herself becoming disorientated. It sounded like people were on all sides of her. She could hear other cane tapping and laughter all around her.

"That's loud." She mumbled, and then blushed realizing she hadn't answered the question. She wanted to make it to the living area by herself but suddenly felt unsure of herself and like a failure that all the hard work that afternoon didn't matter.

"Yes. Everyone is always excited on Sundays. Do you want a guide?"

Quinn scratched at her ear; shame coloring her face that she couldn't even handle getting herself to the other room. She managed that morning.

"Please." She wasn't sure if she was heard but raised her hand anyway. A moment later she felt a fabric covered elbow press into her outstretched hand.

"I'm Erin, by the way. We met briefly but orientation is pretty taxing. I wasn't sure if you remembered me."

"Too many names yesterday." She felt like she was taking baby steps when they entered the living room. It was loud. She felt slightly dizzy with nerves at being surrounded by so many people but not being able to tell how many or where she was in relationship to them. It was deafening.

"You're on one of the couches facing the kitchen." Erin told her as her hand was guided to the armrest. She smiled gratefully, feeling for the seat and sitting with a big sigh. She didn't bother folding her cane instead resting the grip against her collarbone, her arm folded over the top, her hand resting on it slightly with her elbow against the armrest.

With all the people around her, she didn't want to lose it. If for some reason it managed to get kicked away from her she would never find it again. She wanted to be independent but she was realizing just how much help she needed now. Keeping track of her cane was one thing that she could do without having to ask for help.

Someone jumped on the far end of the couch with a giggle and the person next to her laughed, mumbling something she couldn't quite pick out. Quinn felt a small smile start to form.

"Okay ladies! Welcome back." She instantly picked out Momma Kay's southern drawl amongst the teenagers. As if on cue they all started talking at once. Quinn jumped at the noise but smiled despite herself at the typical teenage girl reaction to being together in an enclosed space.

"Okay! Okay! Y'all will have time to catch up over dinner in an hour. Right now we have several pieces of business." Momma Kay clapped her hands, drawing their attention back to her.

"First of all, let's all welcome Quinn to our cottage."

Quinn blushed at the claps and chorus of 'hey' and 'welcome' that ensued with Momma Kay's announcement. So far everyone seemed nice but she didn't have much to go by.

"Let's go around and introduce ourselves to Quinn so that she can get to know us." There were some groans but no one verbally protested. Quinn sunk deeper into the couch, her fingers twirling her cane around and around with nerves.

"I'm Momma Kay. I'm originally from Tennessee. I'm a registered nurse but more importantly I'm the head housemother here. If you need anything day or night you are more than welcome to find myself or one of the youth leaders. I live here 24/7 so I'm always available to you."

"I'm Erin, 25 and in my last year of college. My older sister was born blind and she really inspired me to become a youth leader here. She enjoyed her time living here but always told me she missed having her sister around. So that's mainly why I'm here. You can think of me of a sister to unload on if you need to. The other youth leader is in the kitchen. I'll introduce you later."

Quinn really didn't want to think of Erin as a sister. Frannie turned her off to sisterly bonding a long time ago but it was nice to know that she had adults she could go to that if she needed.

The couch shifted next to her and Quinn imagined the person turning towards her so she turned her head towards the sound.

"I'm Kara, turning 16 tomorrow. Yay! I'm from here in Columbus. Let's see… oh, I've been partially sighted since I was 5. I think I'm across the hall from you so if you need anything just knock on my door." Kara's hand briefly touched her arm before pulling away. Kara sounded like Brittany; happiness could easily be heard in her voice.

Across the room someone introduced themselves as Ann, 17, from Darke County. She was born without eyes and was in the Marching Band.

Quinn would have done a double take at that. Marching Band? She didn't even know how that was possible.

On the other side of Kara, the girl who cannonballed onto the couch introduced herself as Stephanie, 16, she'd lost most of her eyesight when she was 10 to tumors that grew too close to her optic nerves. Around and around the room, one after another the girl's introduced themselves. Some were born blind; some were partially sighted; some completely blind from various eye conditions. One girl lost her eyesight in a car accident. Her optic nerves were just fine but as she put it 'my brain became scrambled eggs and can't process what I'm seeing'.

Quinn's mind was spinning at learning all the information. Unknowingly she learned that the school offered cheerleading, track and field, swimming, a debate team, the marching band, a choir and a quarterly theatre production. Most of the girls' seemed to take part in the activities. They were all pretty excited about the activities they did. After counting twenty-six different people, of whom she could only really remember that Kara was sitting next to her, the room grew quiet.

Her foot started tapping as her nerves kicked in. They'd all been so open about their personal stories. Most of them had been blind for years not weeks. She felt a little queasy. Other than the failed attempt with the therapist in Findlay she hadn't really talked about it to anyone. It was Sam who shared the news with her friends so she didn't have to. It was her mother who informed her school. Could she do this?

"Your turn Quinn. You don't have to tell us anything you aren't comfortable with." Erin spoke up from just off to her left giving her an out. But she felt obligated. After all, these girls were just like her and they all sounded at peace with everything. Maybe it was the fact that they were surrounded by peers that simply 'got it'. Quinn felt herself relax slightly. She could do this.

"Well I'm Quinn. I'm 16 from Allen County…"

"Oh do you know Matt? He's from Allen County. He's H – O – T, hot. Kara you are so lucky!"

Quinn's mouth clanked shut, her eyebrow arching into her hairline at the gushing girl directly across from her. She tugged at her earlobe waiting for the ramble to stop. Finally Momma Kay laughingly shushed the girl so Quinn could continue.

"I have Devic's Disease."

"What's that?" The girl interrupted her again. Beside her, Kara sighed deeply. Quinn smiled.

"Uh. It's also called Neuromyletitis Optica or NMO." Quinn continued, her finger picking at her thumbnail as her nerves kicked in again. Kara must have sensed it or maybe she saw it, Quinn didn't know, and touched her arm again. In another time or place Quinn probably would have brushed off the invasion of her personal space but in that moment she was grateful.

"So it's an autoimmune disease that attacks the central nervous system. Basically it causes the myelin around the spinal nerves to breakdown and inflammation of the optic nerve. The doctors don't know much about it but it's thought to be related to multiple sclerosis."

"Is it curable?" Someone else asked.

"Not yet." Quinn hoped that some day doctors would be able to find a cure for it.

"Anyway, when I was five I woke up completely blind and paralyzed but I don't really remember much about it. I was really sick. My eyesight came back. I mean I could see with glasses but I was paralyzed. It took a few years of physical therapy to get me back up on my feet. That time is still pretty hazy. I remember bits and pieces. Anyway, my parents finally found a doctor in Cleveland that recognized it and he's tried some experimental treatments on me when I was ten. Everything was great and I was in a remission for almost five years."

Quinn breathed in deeply. "I had to go off the steroids they were using to treat it and I relapsed in June." She felt surprisingly at ease telling them her story but she wouldn't tell them about Beth. Her throat clenched thinking about Puck. It wasn't her story to tell alone and neither one of them talked about it much. She missed him.

She felt Kara's hand on her arm again and smiled gratefully over at her.

"I didn't notice much by mother did. My depth perception was shot." Someone across the room hummed in understanding. "Between June and August, I sorta lost a lot of my vision. It was kinda like someone fogged up a mirror but if I held things close enough I could still see them clearly. I could tell shadows and when people were near me. I didn't need any help getting around. Then I couldn't see very well in dark rooms or at night but I was still able to manage."

Quinn looked down at her hands. Well she tried to look down at her hands. She bit the inside of her lip hard, feeling the tears starting to form.

"That's okay Quinn. You don't have to continue." Erin squeezed her shoulder.

"It's okay." She choked out then cleared her throat.

"I guess it was a little over two weeks ago now. I woke up from a nap and couldn't see anything out of my left eye. Over the course of the next few days I lost most of the sight in my right eye. I mean if you shine a bright light directly into it I can kinda see that but it doesn't do me any good. I left the hospital this past Thursday and now I'm here." She choked the last part out.

God she was shaking so badly. Quinn shook her arms out trying to stop the shaking. A Kleenex was pressed into her hand and she realized she was crying again. She really just wanted her tear ducts to stop working. It felt like all she did was cry anymore.

"I remember how I felt…" Someone trailed off. Other's murmured their agreement. Quinn smiled despite herself.

"So, like, what's your lifespan?"

"Really, Jennie, don't be rude." Kara defended her. Quinn chuckled, she sounded like Brittany one second and Santana the next. Happy one second and defending those she cared about the next. Quinn hoped she could become Kara's friend. It would make this place seem less lonely.

"I don't mind." She rubbed angrily at her eyes. "Normal, I guess. I mean ten seconds from now I could try to stand up and be paralyzed again. If it attacks my spine again I could lose functioning in my arms or legs or both. But, we have normal life spans as long as it doesn't affect my respiratory system. I've been lucky really that I'm not still paralyzed." She did count her blessings every day that she relearned how to walk. Especially now, she had no clue how she would be able to function if she couldn't walk as well as see.

"So like you could be blind and paralyzed and not be able to breath?" Jennie asked again.

Quinn was growing tired of the questions and itched to press her watch to find out what time it was.

"Yeah."

"Harsh." Someone else, she couldn't remember who stated the obvious.

"If you regained your vision once, couldn't you get it back again?" Kara asked from beside her.

"Not really. There's too much scar tissue and damage to the nerves."

Momma Kay must have recognized the weariness in her voice because she changed the subject to Quinn's piano.

"Oh! Oh!" She felt Kara jumping up and down next to her in excitement. "We need a pianist in choir. Do you sing? Never mind, it doesn't matter. You have to join." She babbled at her.

Quinn had no desire to join the choir or the orchestra or any of the extra curricular activities. Despite the other's being able to do them, she still couldn't picture herself doing much of anything but getting lost in the darkness surrounding her.

Later, after dinner, and being surrounded by so many people asking her questions about herself, Quinn collapsed fully clothed onto her bed. She didn't even bother switching to her nightclothes as exhaustion crowded out the swirling thoughts in her mind.

**TBC**

Please let me know what you think. It really helps me out and decide where the story should go next.


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: Glee does not belong to me. No copyright infringement intended.

A super special thank you has to go out to **Phoenix2013** for volunteering to be my Beta. She is awesome!

All the feedback has been so helpful. Please keep it up.

**Chapter 31**

Quinn woke the next morning, her face stuffed into her pillow with her arms pinned underneath her. The sound of her alarm blaring wasn't coming from beside her.

The alarm kept beeping at her. Finally, her arm snaked out from underneath its warm cocoon towards the floor grabbing for the watch. She briefly wondered what her watch was made from that it was able to survive its frequent trips from the desk and just what exactly she was doing in the night to knock it off?

With a frustrated growl, Quinn flopped from her front to her back, her long limbs kicking at the bedding to untangle herself. With a grumble she pulled herself from the bed reluctantly and into the bathroom.

Showering was a nightmare. It took her forever to find the towels. Her hands glided down the cabinet under the sink until she felt the handles and opened the door. Her forehead bumped into the edge of the sink when she bent over to feel inside. The language that escaped her mouth as she rubbed the sore spot would have made Mother Teresa blush. If this kept it up, she wouldn't need to learn how to function blind because she'd spend the rest of her life stuck in confessional.

Finally she decided the safest way to look under the sink was to sit on the ground next to it. Her hands came up empty. As she started to pull her arms back to look elsewhere her elbow connected with a bottle setting off a domino effect. The ruckus of what she was sure was a thousand bottles falling over in the enclosed space of the cabinet caused her to jump back in fright.

Even though it was only Quinn in the bathroom, her face flamed with embarrassment over being so jumpy. Steeling herself, she plunged her hands back into the cabinet, running them over the rough wood. She found two rolls of toilet paper tucked into the back right hand corner. She had wondered about needing more toilet paper soon but was too shy do ask anyone yet.

Finally she set to work straightening the bottles. Quinn thought they were shaped like cleaning bottles but she wasn't sure. She'd never paid attention before. There was only one way she was going to find out, so she turned the cap of the bottle in her hands quickly before she could change her mind.

It was a mistake. The chemical smell assaulted her senses making her eyes water instantly. She quickly tossed the cap on, shoving the bottle under the sink and closed the door with a bang.

She was flustered from the assault to her senses when she stood up and forgot that the doorway was left of the sink. Instead of moving towards the toilet, her foot kicked the door shut frightening her again and nearly pinching her fingers in the hinge.

She would learn later in the week that open doors would pose a huge hazard to probing fingers.

Exhausted already and feeling completely lost in even the small space of her bathroom, she went to lean back against the closed door only to have her back connect not with the wooden door but the soft fabric of her towels.

Why had her mother hung the towels on the back of the door? Quinn would never put towels on her door. She didn't want the damp fabric to cause mold. She instantly missed her heated towel rack.

Once she located the shower in the room, the physical act of showering wasn't any easier. She felt really claustrophobic in the enclosed space. She didn't know which bottle was her shampoo and which bottle was her conditioner. She sniffed the content then realized that it was useless as they both were the same scent. Not that she could currently smell them anyway. Her nose still tingled from the chemicals earlier.

She eliminated the bottle she held as the conditioner because the gooey liquid felt thicker to her hands. In the end she didn't know if she washed her body with her face wash and her face with her body wash. Ultimately she decided it didn't really matter because she was sticky with sweat by the time she pulled on her jeans.

Kara knocked on her door, calling out that she was supposed to take Quinn to breakfast. Quinn was elbow deep in her dresser drawer trying to figure out which shirt was what. Finally she simply grabbed one and used the tag as a guide point, slipping it over her head with a frustrated sigh.

All she knew was that her shirt was facing the right direction and she had matching shoes on because Santana had the foresight to tie each set together for her.

Quinn felt more frustrated than ready for her day. She grabbed her backpack from her desk and shoved her key card into the front pocket. Next came the cane that she easily located at the edge of her desk where she left it the night before.

Squaring her shoulders and fighting the urge to crawl back under her covers, Quinn took a deep breath and opened her door.

"There you are." Kara greeted her before she even made it fully through the doorway. "I thought I was going to have to get Erin or Momma Kay to find you."

Quinn grumbled a hello while rubbing at her still sleepy eyes. Kara had to have heard all the noise she made stumbling around her room.

"Mornings not your thing?" Kara laughed.

"Mmmhmm." 'Not anymore,' Quinn thought.

With one hand on the wall next to her doorway, Quinn pulled the door closed hearing the lock click. She jiggled the handle just to be sure.

"We don't eat in the dining room?" Quinn asked because Kara's earlier statement of taking her to breakfast made it sound like they were going somewhere outside the cottage. Unless they didn't think she could find her way to the kitchen.

Quinn felt a little put out by that. She didn't spend all day yesterday walking every inch of the dorm for nothing. She knew if she turned left out of her room she'd eventually come to a T-hallway that led to more dorms in each direction. If she went to far down those hallways she would dead end effectively cornering herself.

If she went right out of her room she would come to the living room. If she kept to the left side of the living room she would come to a game room first, then the hallway with the private study rooms and finally the kitchen and dining room. If she went to far past the kitchen she'd find herself outside.

Doubt kicked in. She'd just gotten lost in her own bathroom and now she wasn't sure if the hallway with the game room came first or the hallway with the study rooms. Quinn scratched her head.

"You coming?" Kara interrupted her confusion by shoving her elbow into Quinn's hand.

"You're doing sighted guide?" As soon as the words left her mouth Quinn flinched at how awful that sounded. "Sorry," she apologized.

"No problem. I can see enough to not walk you into a tree." Kara shrugged it off with a chuckle.

Quinn smiled despite feeling self-conscious still and unstrapped the cane letting it unfold with several clicks. Kara started forward at a much faster pace than her mobility instructor walked at yesterday. Quinn kept her feet moving because she had no other choice.

Before she knew it they were outside and Kara turned them left. Quinn kept kicking her cane while struggling to keep up with Kara's pace. It was only after they turned again, Quinn realized she could only hear her own cane.

Did Kara not need one? She paused for a split second.

"All the cottages are together for breakfast and dinner except Sunday nights when each cottage has their own meal like we did last night. Lunchtime is broken down by schools. We eat at noon. Oh and commuters can eat every meal on campus except Sunday night if they want."

"Okay." Quinn was finding it hard to carry on a conversation while remembering to move her cane from side to side but not so far to the side that she kept whacking Kara in the leg. She fought the urge to tug at her ear in frustration. Besides she needed a third hand to do that anyway. Last time she checked she only had two and they were anxiously occupied with holding on to her guide and cane.

Quinn barely heard Kara's cane unfold before she felt Kara's arm dip. She didn't have time to prepare herself for the steps. She almost took them both down coming off the last step but somehow Kara managed to slow her face plant into the cement and kept them both on their feet.

"Oh my…" Quinn couldn't even finish her sentence as the adrenaline peaked leaving her gasping for breath and clutching at her chest in fear. Quinn wondered if she'd survive as many trips to the hard unforgiving ground as her watch did. She had a feeling that she would eventually find out and probably sooner rather than later.

"I'm so sorry Quinn!" Kara sounded repentant, her hand still clutching Quinn's arm where she grabbed her, both girls were breathing heavily. "I know this campus so well sometimes I forget I can't see very well. I'm always in a hurry. I should have warned you about the steps."

Quinn snorted as the adrenaline rush dissipated.

"It's like the blind leading the blind." Kara joked beside her.

Quinn doubled over in laughter then, her hand on her knees, and tears streaming down her face.

"What?" Kara giggled a little beside her.

"I was just thinking that." Quinn managed to get out between giggles. "All we need is to find someone else and we can be the three stooges." That set Kara off into her own fit of giggles.

"Which one am I?" Kara asked between giggles.

"I'll have to think about it." Quinn replied dryly while wiping at her eyes with her jacket sleeve.

"We better go before they send out a search party."

Quinn straightened up and gripped her cane tighter. "How do I know you aren't going to walk me off the side of Mount Everest?" Quinn teased to ease the fear she still felt over almost falling down the stairs.

"We're in Ohio." Kara mocked dryly.

Quinn felt for and finally connected with Kara's elbow. They started out again only at a slower pace for which Quinn was grateful. She didn't feel quite as vulnerable hurtling blindly through space at this speed.

After awhile she realized she could once again only hear one cane, her own. She tried to remember what Kara told her last night regarding her blindness but couldn't remember much except that she was partially sighted since she was five.

Quinn bit her lip in thought. She'd already fallen off Mount Everest today; she might as well take a flying leap off Mount Kilimanjaro too.

"Why don't you use your cane all the time?" Quinn hoped she didn't offend Kara with that question. She really was curious and so far Kara seemed like she was a pretty laid back gal.

"I have Juvenile Macular Degeneration."

After a moment Kara probably realized that Quinn had no clue what that was when she didn't respond. "The center of my vision is useless, really blurry, but my peripheral vision is pretty good. I can't see very well in low light and I never know when I'm going to need it so I just carry it with me. Like on the stairs just now. I fell down enough of them to realize I should just use the cane. Can't break myself from wanting to look at my feet when I go down them." Quinn felt Kara shrug underneath her hand.

"Oh." She wasn't sure what else to say. What was the proper response in situations like this? Also, she was thinking about whether or not she looked down when descending stairs. She could still feel herself searching with her eyes when she held things, trying to 'see' what she was holding. It gave her the heeby jeebies feeling them move rapidly but not seeing anything. Did she look weird to people?

"I'd like to tell you I know what it's like so I can reassure you. But I'm not totally blind so I won't pretend to know." Kara went on without missing a beat. "I mean I was so young that this just seems like this has always been my life."

Quinn nodded. She guessed that made sense. She wondered if in ten years she would feel the same. The leaves rustled overhead. Would she forget what the colors of fall looked like? She'd never know what Stacy looked like as a grown woman. When she thought of Sam, would he always look like the goofy teenager that Santana called trouty mouth?

"We're here. Norland Hall." Kara interrupted her thoughts, pulling her out of her downward spiral. "There are three steps up." Kara warned this time before Quinn felt her elbow rise and her cane connected with the front of the step.

Quinn breathed out a sigh of relief when their bodies evened out on the top of the steps. A moment later a puff of cool air hit her in the face. She paused her forward momentum.

"Sliding doors." Kara supplied.

The noise was deafening and it seemed like it came from all directions at once. Quinn froze.

"Kara, I can't do this." Her voice sounded pathetic and whiny to her ears.

"Sure you can." Kara tugged her forward. Quinn stumbled slightly, righted herself and kept her feet moving. They didn't go very far before Kara stopped.

"I'm leaving you in the trusty hands of Mrs. Davidson. She's the best." And then Kara was gone. Quinn felt alone and vulnerable.

Mrs. Davidson greeted her warmly just like the day before. "Are you ready?"

Quinn felt the 'not really' spring to her lips but refused to actually verbalize it. Instead, she shrugged and Mrs. D laughed. Quinn smiled tentatively, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Her mobility instructor didn't beat around the bush. "Let's begin so you can eat. There's a cashier directly in front of you," she was informed.

Quinn froze. She had no idea where she was in relationship to the door she just came through and all the voices surrounding her. Her hand felt sweaty beneath the grip of her cane.

Tentatively she felt out with the cane in front of her but only came up with air. Stealing herself she moved forward feeling like she was taking tiny steps.

"We have to work on your stride. Mobility will be easier for you with longer steps." Mrs. D observed from behind her.

The cane hit something hard, a metallic clank rang out and Quinn froze again.

"Go ahead and feel left and right with the cane to see what you are touching."

Quinn frowned but did what she was instructed to do. It scraped along the bottom edge of the surface near the floor. Quinn leaned forward feeling the cold metal with her hand.

"What do you think you are touching?"

"A counter?" Quinn hated what she was starting to think of as the game of twenty questions repeated endlessly for the rest of her life.

"Good." She was introduced to the cashier. Quinn scooted further left until the woman's voice was directly in front of her. It felt weird to have a conversation with someone in front of her and not knowing if she was really facing the other person.

"Do you have your dining card sweetie?" She was asked. Quinn hated being called sweetie. Especially now after what felt like every nurse in the state of Ohio had recently called her that.

She wasn't really sure what to do with the cane while she searched through her backpack for the wallet. Once again Mrs. D knew this without Quinn saying anything and instructed her to lean the cane against her collarbone near her neck so she would have use of both hands and if she felt it falling she could stop it.

Quinn pulled the backpack from her shoulders. Digging through the front she easily found her wallet that she'd packed away that morning in her dorm room. Her fingers glided along the zipper until she felt the zipper pull and opened it.

Her dorm room key was an access card like the hotels used. It was incredibly hard for her to use even though it was tactile marked for her to know what way to hold it and stick it in the door reader.

Her fingers connected with the rubber band Erin fastened around it last night to make it easier for Quinn to find in a hurry or with her hands full.

The meal card was very similar to her room key but with a Braille strip at the top that she was told on orientation day spelled her name and her access code. Her fingers trailed over the bumps that really meant absolutely nothing to her yet.

She emerged with the card and held it out towards the cashier. The cashier didn't make an attempt to take it from her. Quinn scowled.

"There's a card reader by your right hand." The cashier informed her.

"Uh, okay." Quinn mumbled. Inside she was fuming. The dumb kid in the mall in Lima took her card when she held it out. Why couldn't a cashier at a school for the blind take it?

The side of her right hand connected hard with the side of the machine shocking her by how close it was. Quickly she shoved the wallet back in the front pocket of her bag, bringing her left hand up to the reader but she couldn't figure out what she was feeling. It made no sense to her.

"I can't use this." She growled, dropping her hands away from it. "I'm not hungry. Can we just go?"

"No. You need food in your stomach for your medicine." Mrs. Davidson's soft voice spoke near her. Yesterday Quinn found the voice reassuring. After her fumbling attempts at showering earlier, it simply pushed Quinn over the edge.

"Screw that." Quinn grabbed her cane and turned. It whacked into her instructor but Mrs. Davidson didn't move. Quinn turned to go around her but her hip connected hard against the countertop, she hissed in pain.

Angrily she flung the cane away. It landed in the distance. Tears sprang to her eyes when she realized she was stranded with no means of escaping.

Quinn slammed the heels of her palms into her eyes over and over again.

"Stupid! Useless!" She cried out, her palms smashing into the orbs again.

"Stop it. Quinn!" Her hands were grabbed roughly. "Calm down."

Her chest heaved against the tightness forming. "Don't tell me to calm down!" She yelled, yanking her arms away.

"Okay." Her arms were grabbed again. "Just don't hit yourself again."

Quinn slumped back against the counter feeling physically spent. After a moment the grip on her arms loosened and then pulled away completely.

Quinn was not the first student to have thrown her cane in frustration, so Emily simply moved over and picked it up once she was sure Quinn wasn't going to hurt herself again. Truthfully, she was surprised Quinn hadn't thrown it yesterday out of frustration. Making it to day two was actually impressive.

"Here." She tapped Quinn's fisted hands with the cane.

Reluctantly Quinn accepted it but didn't say anything, her mouth drawn into a tight line. Mrs. Davidson's hands rested once again on Quinn's shoulders but she shrugged them off feeling insecure after her outburst.

"I'm retarded. I can't do anything anymore."

"You're not retarded Quinn. You've only been out of the hospital a few days. You're doing great."

"Whatever."

Emily smiled. "That's the spirit." She kept her tone light to let Quinn know that she wasn't upset with the outburst. She'd had students do far worse than throw a cane across the room.

"Here's the deal Quinn. I'm going to let you try to figure stuff out on your own and then I'll give you tips and techniques to help you. I'll only stop you if I think you are physically going to hurt yourself. Okay?" Emily smiled at her student watching the emotions play across Quinn's face.

"So you won't let me walk head first into incoming traffic?"

Emily looked at Quinn trying to gauge the seriousness of the question, as she didn't know Quinn's personality that well yet. She knew Quinn was on a new anti-depressant to help stabilize her moods and panic attacks. Her question could be taken in so many ways but Quinn looked serious.

"Is that a fear of yours?"

Quinn nodded slowly unable to verbally express how absolutely terrified she was that a car wouldn't see her. She definitely wouldn't be able to see the car to get out of the way.

Emily knew the answer even as Quinn nodded. This was a common fear and often times one of the hardest fears to overcome.

"Well we are a long way from traveling near traffic. But, no, I wouldn't let you get hit by a car."

Quinn bit her lip, chewing on it nervously as she calmed down. It was moments like this that made her blood boil that her daddy had always demanded his kids be perfectionists.

"I'm a failure." She bit the inside of her cheek to prevent anything else embarrassing from coming out.

"You're not and as you become more independent you'll figure that out. Now," Quinn felt the hands on her shoulders again turning her around, "the card reader is directly in front of you."

Reluctantly Quinn brought both of her hands back to the reader.

"When you had your vision you used card machines at stores, correct?"

Quinn nodded, wondering where this was going.

"How did you know how to use them the first time?"

Quinn shrugged, "I guess I saw my mom do it enough times so I just knew what to do."

"Okay good. Your fingers are an extension of your vision now. The more you touch things, the easier it will become to tell the different materials you are feeling and the easier it will be to put the multitude of puzzle pieces together to form a picture in your mind."

"If you say so." Quinn wasn't so sure about that but she didn't have the energy to verbalize it.

"I'm going to guide your hands now, okay?"

"Okay." Quinn mumbled. She was going to have to get used to people touching her and invading her personal space.

"Start with what you know. What do card readers in stores generally look like?" Mrs. Davidson prompted her.

"I don't know."

"You do. You're just nervous. Take a deep breath and think about it."

Quinn sighed. She just wanted to eat and now she was stuck on the outside of the dining hall being tortured.

Her bangs puffed with the breath she blew. "Square-ish. There's usually a screen and then a keypad. The card swipes through on the right."

Her hands were guided down the front and along the right and left side. Quinn frowned. "This isn't like that at all."

Emily smiled. Quinn was a smart girl. She memorized the layout of the dorms faster than most of her other students had. If she could just get Quinn to stay calm and think things through she knew Quinn would be just fine.

"You're right. This is a different type of scanner. How do you think the card goes in there?"

Quinn tugged on her ear, her tongue sticking slightly out of the corner of her mouth in concentration. The front and side was smooth. She couldn't feel any indentation to indicate the slot where the card went. She ran her fingers down the length of the front again. Close to the bottom she felt a slightly raised structure near the center of the machine. Her thumb slide parallel and she felt a bunch of dots. Quinn's pointer finger found the raised portion again picking at it.

The sound of her heart beating and her own breathing was harsh to her ears. She felt nervous.

"Take your time." Emily spoke softly.

"Oh!" Quinn almost chuckled at how excited she felt when her thumb traced over the curved portion of the very bottom of the reader. There was definitely an indentation for a card to be pushed into. It felt similar to the ATM slot she used at home.

"Bingo." Emily smiled at Quinn making sure to keep her voice happy but not overly. Quinn was a teenager afterall.

Quinn chuckled, breathing out a sigh of relief. It evaporated pretty quickly when she realized she didn't know which way the card went into the machine.

The card was placed back in her hands and Mrs. Davidson kept her own hands over the top of Quinn's.

"You could randomly shove the card into the reader and hope it's the right direction." Quinn chuckled at that. "Or, you can logically think about this. However, the problem with technology is that sometimes it simply makes no sense and it's okay to ask the cashier for help." Quinn frowned.

"Miss Steph isn't supposed to help you today so don't be mad at her." Emily smiled again. Most of Quinn's reactions were really typical teenager and nothing she hadn't seen before in her students.

"Why not?"

"If she did this for you, how would you learn to do it yourself?"

Quinn kept quiet, turning the card over and over in her hands.

"So how does this work?"

Emily gently stopped Quinn from worrying the card any more than she already had.

"When the card is inserted correctly it will beep twice at you." Quinn nodded. "Do you think the Braille would slide into the machine correctly?"

Quinn thought about that. The bumps weren't that raised up very high but it didn't make sense for them to go into the machine. "The numbers on my debit card are raised but I think the strip is higher up on the card."

"Excellent. On the backside of this card, opposite the Braille is a chip." As Mrs. D was talking, she moved Quinn's fingertips along the card letting her feel each section.

"Chip part slides in." Quinn deduced.

"Okay. I'm actually going to put it in the machine wrong so you can hear what that sounds like." Quinn nodded at her and felt her hands being guided through the motions. The card didn't completely disappear into the reader. It beeped once.

"Now your turn." Quinn's smile turned into a frown as her instructor's hands pulled away from her own, leaving her with just the card.

It took a few tries to get the card lined up, it was harder then she thought it would be until she realized if she kept her thumb at the edge of the slot she could use it as a guide to slide the card in.

It beeped twice. Quinn's stomach growled as she pulled the card out.

"Is that it?" She asked because she really was hungry and she had no clue how much time passed. Probably a lot.

"You're good to go." The cashier spoke up for the first time since her outburst. Quinn jumped. She'd forgotten the other lady was there.

She didn't have time to think about it before her backpack was handed to her. She shoved the card in her wallet and quickly zipped it into the front pocket before she felt Mrs. Davidson's elbow near her hand.

Quinn was hoping that she'd be taken to a table and the food would magically appear, but she should have known better. Instead, she found herself before a door leading to what she would later on dub the 'room of horrors'.

This time Mrs. D didn't guide her hand to the door handle. Quinn tucked her cane against her neck and felt waist high for the handle. Her hand came up empty. She patted a little higher and a little farther below her original position and still didn't feel the handle. Finally, she brushed her fingers across the width of the door until they connected with the handle. She pushed down and pulled the door open.

The 'room of horrors' was actually a practice room with a mock layout of the food line Quinn quickly found out. Quinn dropped her chin to her chest. She just wanted to eat.

**TBC**

I live and breath reviews so please please please (with Quinn on top) review for me.


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